Pogo solo pet

WC: 2847 (sorry)

During her first year at Hogwarts, home was something Cirrus missed so violently.

Not that she didn't love the castle, she did. She'd grown used to all the oddities of the magical world, even if the staircases moved and the paintings spoke to her. And it wasn't that she missed a lot of modern conveniences. She missed her family.

Despite returning occasionally during the holidays, she felt as though she'd missed so much, that everything was changing beyond her control. Every time on the train back to Hogwarts after the holidays, she'd tell herself that nothing would have changed with her gone. She'd still write home; they'd still write back. She'd always come back eventually; they'd still be there when she did.

But everything had changed and she hated nothing more than how inevitable it was.

Of course, there was excitement, the 'so glad you're home' pleasantries, the hugs that seemed just the slightest bit of force away from cracking a rib. But it wasn't the same. It was as if all of those things were suddenly conditional; something done because it was custom, not because it mattered. Well, at least it seemed that way to Cirrus. She noticed things.

When Cirrus returned home after her first year at Hogwarts, she noticed that suddenly Ezran seemed to have vastly different interests to what she remembered. He spent more time on his devices than talking with her, even if she had so many things to tell him about Hogwarts. It was as though he'd absorbed her behaviour and had been practicing ignoring people.

Cirrus noticed that suddenly Eli took a second too long to process her likeness when she walked through the door before recognising her. The little one was growing up too quickly and she was missing all of it. His first day at playgroup, the first time he could read a whole picture book on his own. Instead, she gets this toddler learning that when he was upset, their father was not the person to go to make it better.

Cillian Mooney was the type of man you'd expect to have been born with a scowl on his face and his hands in tight fists, as though already determining with his first breaths of life that the world was something to be angry at. And his children later in life were part of that world.

Ever since she was little, Cirrus had noticed her mother and father weren't the most compatible of couples. For as long as Cirrus could remember, they argued, they got petty, and they turned their backs to each other because talking was for functioning people. Miraculously, they were still together. Perhaps they were the type that believed staying together was for the kids. Cirrus believed she'd much prefer to not get caught in the crossfire of issues that weren't hers. And that her mother deserved better.

Why was she the only one to have been born with magical abilities? Ezran thought it was so cool, he would gush whenever she'd accidentally make something shatter without touching it, jealous even. Cirrus doesn't see what there was to be jealous about.

She felt as though it was her curse.

She didn't care about casting spells when her own brother, her best friend, could barely hold a conversation with her anymore because somewhere in the space between then and now, he'd learned that talking as much as he did was a crime. As though he'd simply lost all the rambunctiousness that made him Ezran. She'd take back all the times she complained about how loud and obnoxious he was just to see him smile again like he used to, that big goofy dimpled one when their father would get mad at them for making a mess, but he knew it was ok because at least she was there. The things she'd do to be able to watch Eli grow up, to be part of his life so that maybe she wasn't just a concept with a name, so that maybe he could mention to his little friends that he had an older sister and had something to show for it.

Everything had changed and she had nothing but magic to blame.

Cirrus couldn't even find the will to play her guitar; the thing that usually brought her solace when it was too loud in her mind and the usually sacred silence somehow amplified that. When she'd picked up the instrument, her fingers aimlessly drifted along the fingerboard, as though they hadn't decided on a specific chord to play. As though they didn't have the conviction to.

She was starting to think coming to Hogwarts was a mistake, that she was dreading returning for her second year with this perpetual dark cloud looming over her head known as loneliness. She didn't want to go back. But at the same time, she didn't want to be home.

-

August tenth, Monday morning.

Their father left for work at the crack of dawn before the rest of the Mooney household had risen. Earlier than usual, maybe because he didn't want his kids to see him sleeping on the couch for the third time that week. Eli was next, escaping his crib when the sun had only half risen to jump on their mother's bed, because toddler logic states that when he was awake then mother should be too. The twins woke distinctly afterwards as the school holidays were the grandest time of the year. Ezran already slept like a hibernating bear all the time, and maybe Cirrus was finally comfortable enough to sleep past six in the morning. The entirety of the rest of the morning was spent trying to drag him out of bed.

Later, Cirrus and Ezran decided to spend the afternoon in town and take Eli with them, so their mother had some time alone to rejuvenate.

The three siblings were walking down a local strip, the twins on either side of the little boy, a tiny hand of his in each of theirs as they occasionally lifted him up into the air and he giggled gleefully. Ezran was back to yapping her ear off, very animatedly complaining about something with the World Cup after they'd walked past a sporting shop. Even if it had already been a month since the event, apparently, he was still livid about England's loss to Argentina and felt the need to tell her about it for the thousandth time since she'd been back, somehow finding new ways to convey the exact same ideas. Not that it mattered to her, she wasn't a football fan - don't tell her father -, she only pretended so that she could see him exhibit that same kind of happy he used to before she left. It was only outside of home that she could see him so lively like this anymore.

Eli eventually spotted an ice cream truck and, as all three-year-olds do, asked with his prettiest please and a cherry on top for a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Ezran seconded that. Cirrus didn't want any, so Ezran took Eli to wait in line, digging through his little pouch of spare change and chore money for enough to at least get Eli some ice cream.

Meanwhile, Cirrus hovered off to the side on the street, trying to keep out of peoples' way, watching the bustle of daily life pass her by. Men in suits walking at inhuman speeds because they're late to work, a group of teenagers enjoying the liberties of school holidays, an old couple next to each other on a bench feeding the ducks, or a handful of construction workers fixing a pothole for the millionth time that she swore was still there before she left. So many mundane things she wouldn't have ever thought she'd take for granted had she stayed in Bristol.

Cirrus found herself smiling as her gaze returned to her brothers who now reached the front of the line, Ezran holding Eli on his hip and giving him the coins after he so excitedly asked to pay. It made her just as sad as it made her want to smile. All these little moments that she'd missed. All these little moments she could never get back because, inevitably, by the end of the month, she'd be back on that train to a completely different world, marginally alone despite constantly being surrounded by people. How was it that one could be lonely in a vast sea of people? Such things she pondered and could never make sense of. She often sought answers to unknown questions, reaching for the random, for whatever will bewilder her, whatever will be willed of her.

Why was it that she the only one in her family born with magical abilities? Hogwarts would be so much more manageable if Ezran accidentally made things combust too when they were younger, if he received that fated wax sealed letter, if he joined her at the sorting ceremony (although she suspected he'd have definitely not made it into Hufflepuff like herself). So why couldn't he? Why only her? Maybe she should have done what that one boy in the rehearsal room said all those months ago and ripped up her Hogwarts acceptance letter, pursue music more seriously. She should have done that. She should do that.

As her smile unconsciously dropped, she was ripped from her thoughts as she felt a light nudge at her ankle. She almost jumped out of the way, fearing someone had bumped into her because she'd so stupidly been standing there while in a daze. But she turned around to see no one was there, just the usual bleak sidewalk. A second nudge and she had the incentive to look down.

There was a lean silver cat pushing its head against her, tail curling around her leg as it let out a short soft meow. Cirrus's smile returned to her, and she crouched down to its level, slowly and gently.

"Hello there, where'd you come from, buddy?" She spoke in a tone reserved for when Eli was upset. The cat let out a low meow and backed up, as though she was much less intimidating at full height. Cirrus instead just held out hand, not grabbing, just to let the come to her when it wanted. "It's ok, you're ok."

She didn't know what type of cat it was - perhaps a tabby - how old it was, nor where it came from, but she did know that it had been on the streets for a while as evident by the dirt tainting its beautiful coat. Anyone in this area who wasn't Cirrus - she was notorious around her neighbourhood for half-accidentally befriending a murder of crows - wouldn't even touch a random animal that approaches them that could potentially have germs. But it had taken a liking to her, somehow, and it felt wrong to dismiss such a cute cat that was unfortunately without a home.

"You're pretty. What're you doing out on the streets, eh?" She cooed in a way that would shock most people who know her or make them wonder if this was the same girl who detested all uninvited human interaction and stared at people with resting 'don't talk to me' face.

Ezran soon returned with Eli, who was the only one an ice cream cone, to see their sister's hand being inspected by a stray cat before it apparently decided that she was safe, then pushed its head into her palm. She scratched behind its ear and stroked down it's back and it purred with delight. Ezran stilled Eli, who was wriggling excitedly, seemingly wanted to hug the feline even with his ice cream in hand.

"Oi oi. Made a new friend, have ya?"

"I suppose."

The cat continued to let Cirrus pat it for the duration it took Eli to finish his ice cream.

"He really likes you, eh?"

"Seems so."

For the first time in Cirrus' life, she swore Ezran seemed to be thinking. Deeply. Usually, that was her job. But in this instant, when she looked over at him from her crouched position because she was suspicious why he'd been so quiet for so long, he seemed to be developing a profound and, somewhat, emotionally literate thought. There was honestly nothing more terrifying.

"Oi, Ciri. Idea."

Still petting the cat, Cirrus narrowed her eyes at him. Usually, when he has an idea, some0ne ends up losing their eyebrows. She has a particular memory about this from when they were younger that she'd prefer not to have resurface in her mind right about now.

"What?"

"You can have pets at that Hogspots, whatever ya call it, right?"

She sighed quietly.

"Hogwarts."

He 'pff'd.

"Yeah yeah, whatever, but you can have pets?"

"Yeah...?"

"So, why don't you take him with ya? Consider him a gift from me."

Cirrus's brows creased together, utterly perplexed by her brother's statement.

"I don't think you can gift strays."

"Uh- I'm emotionally gifting him."

Cirrus sighed.

"You're so stupid, Ez."

"Thank you."

Cirrus watched the cat curl up around her legs for the tenth time. Momentarily, the thought that maybe this cat had before been someone's pet, given how comfortable it seemed with human contact, and she felt bad for potentially stealing someone's pet. But there were no tags or any sign of an owner or that the cat had been inside a home recently. She was thinking out loud again and Ezran nudged her slightly.

"C'mon. I reckon it'd be good for you. He'd make Hogsnorts feel less lonely." Ezran said, softer, more genuine than his usual bravado, as though he'd finally started taking lessons from his comically opposite twin. And Cirrus stopped correcting him on her school's name as she genuinely considered it taking in the cat. Her father wouldn't like it, the cat probably had bad germs from living on the streets, but... she'd leave for Hogwarts again soon, she was sure she could hide a fairly tame cat until then. And she'd always much preferred animals to humans; animal diseases were curable in comparison to the human disease known as malice or apathy. And she needed something alive to talk to when the little things piled on and got too much, she can only get so far with a lopsided little creature she'd carved from wood.

But then, Ezran made the mistake of putting Eli down when he finished his ice cream, and her thoughts were interrupted by a tumbling velocity of a toddler with too much energy and chocolate smeared all around his mouth.

"Kitty!"

The twins laughed as Eli bounced over to the stray,.

"Yes, Eli. Kitty."

Eli immediately tried to yank on the cat's tail, to which Ezran immediately picked him up to prevent that from happening. Cirrus noticed that. Seems in the absence her responsibility, the one who usually took care of them both, her horribly reckless twin brother had to step up in substitute.

He really has changed. So much. More than Cirrus could ever hope to control.

But maybe she couldn't stop change, maybe the fact that change was always happening was the one universal constant she could rely on. Maybe the fact that change was always happening nullified its scare factor. Maybe the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. After all, Ezran was still Ezran, making stupid jokes and talking too much without really saying anything. Eli was still Eli, learning to be gentle with delicate things and And Cirrus was still Cirrus, despite how much Hogwarts had changed her, in ways she oftentimes never saw in herself.

And maybe Cirrus would accept Ezran's little 'emotional gift' that was curling around her legs. She briefly sighed again.

"Father won't like it..."

"Who bloody cares what that tool thinks? Not you, I hope?"

Cirrus hummed uncomfortably, unsure whether Ezran was genuinely asking her or being rhetoric. But she thought he probably didn't know what that word meant nor was he consciously aware that he was doing it, and she visibly relaxed at his little chuckle. She was about to say, 'I like Tool' - the band - but he wouldn't get that reference. Instead, she looked back towards the cat, its big innocent eyes that seemed to mirror her lonesomeness, just yearning for connection but didn't have the capacity to properly express that. Perhaps she could help it as much as it could help her.

"Alright. Come on, then... Pogo. You're coming home with me." She held her hands out for the cat that slowly inched forward to let itself be picked up. Ezran flashed a grin that was much too smug to belong in a place like this.

"Pogo?"

"Yes. Shut up."

Ezran cackled as Cirrus carried her new feline friend with them on their walk returning back home, Eli constantly making grabby hands at her and the cat. Now to hide an animal from her parents until her second year at Hogwarts starts. And to bribe Eli with sweets to not say anything...