DRAVEN MIRADOR | FIFTH(ish) YEAR | SLYTHERIN

This message is going to be really messy and disjointed, partly because I don't want to write it. I figure it's better to do it now than to never do it at all.

A majority of my friends chose to leave because of the updates. Longtime, respected users in the community are gone now, sickened by the administration's choices and the blatant disrespect for artistry which is actively being promoted by those in charge. The decisions which have been made thus far are appalling, and I do not have enough words to express my distaste.

I have been trying really hard to get used to the new website. Truth be told, every time I open it, I'm filled with such a profound fucking sadness it feels physical. I'm looking at my ency. I'm looking at the broken code. I'm looking at all of the plots I've left up in the air, all of the connections I've forged, all of the ideas I had that suddenly vanished along with my enthusiasm. And it makes me feel incredibly empty.

Draven was six years in the making.

This year, in particular, when he finally has wandless magic, was supposed to be- well, it was supposed to be THE year. Finally old enough for him to not feel so alien from me. I've been using this boy to work through my own issues, and he feels like part of me. Hogwarts was home when I didn't have one. This community has been the singular consistent, reliable thing in my life. This website feels like part of me. It has taken up so much of my brain and so much of my heart ever since I discovered it that cutting it out is painful.

I can't do it. I can't let go.

I'm temporarily deactivating Draven. It's become increasingly difficult to find threading partners the older he gets, and I wish to freeze him rather than kill him. I have no doubt I'll come back to him someday.

I intend to make a new character when I have the energy and inspiration. I'm in short supply of both at the moment, and I don't know if that will change in the near future.

With the new updates, it feels like a blank slate would be appropriate, at least for now. If anything, I'll get to experience the site as a new user would. Perhaps I'll get used to it and grow to love it again. Perhaps this deactivation will give me the space I need to find a new community.

Either way, I'm not fixing anything. I'm leaving the ency broken, I'm leaving his story unfinished.

I'll see you guys on the other side, eventually.