A Desperate Housewife
When: Thursday, 30th April 2026 | Where: Inverie, Scotland
Who: @Caradoc Browne
It was early afternoon, the sun shining brightly through the window and onto the counter beside it. The counter was deep, and in front of the window, there were a few bushes to offer a little bit of privacy. It was impossible to see exactly what was happening on the counter. There was a reason for this. Hjørdis had set it up to offer her a good view outside the house whilst preventing outsiders from easily seeing in. On the counter, she was roughly chopping up some sage on a chopping board. There were a few bottles of wine nearby and enough sage for multiple potions. Hjørdis added the chopped sage into a container, storing it for later. Sourcing all of the necessary ingredients was a little difficult whilst on the run, so she had to prepare what she had in advance and wait for the remaining one - the strands of Unicorn Hair, which were a lot harder to find lying around randomly or from a muggle grocery store.
She cast her gaze over to the oven that was on, checking the product inside before she continued. Popping the window open, her delicate hand reached out of the window as she tiptoed over the counter. Hjørdis plucked a few rose petals and dropped them into a separate compartment of the same box. As she did, she sighed softly, noticing a certain very loud, very nosy, very annoying lady heading directly towards her house. “Incoming,” She whispered softly into the room, knowing full well that would be enough for the man seated not too far away from her to understand what she meant.
She wanted to duck immediately; that was her first instinct, but it was too late. She already saw the lady’s hand raising in a wave. Hjørdis threw the snake that was on the counter into the cupboard underneath quickly. Before the woman had even reached their garden, she had already moved all of the magical - or odd - items off the counter and into some drawers, replacing them with something else.
She started to grind some cardamom seeds with her pestle and mortar for the pot of tea she was no doubt about to prepare, instead of the two measures of standard ingredient and the mistletoe berries she had wanted to add to the mortar. Caradoc had better be grateful that she was not brewing up a forgetfulness potion right now to serve in the lady’s tea!
”Youhooo,” Hjørdis wanted to cry when she heard that familiar high-pitched sing-songy voice that she had grown to despise in her short time here, “Are you home?” Why did the woman truly ask idiotic questions just to hear the sound of her own voice, Hjørdis could not fathom.
Putting on a smile that only those who knew her would instantly recognise as fake, Hjørdis popped her head out of the window, “Mrs Davids, come on in,” She said as politely as possible as she mustered up all of her inner strength and control, knowing full well that the woman was already half way through the door without the invite. In this neighbourhood, the doors were usually left open - which was such a pain in her opinion.
Sally entered into the house, immediately coming into the kitchen that Hjørdis was in as she had clearly been to the house several times before, “Oh, please! I told you, call me Sally! We must be the same age! I might even be younger,” She continued with a giggle, “Oh! Something smells delicious!” She continued as the smell of freshly baked cookies was in the air and travelled fast through the house, “It must be you, no?”
Hjørdis wanted to cry. Mrs Sally Davids was comfortably into her fifties, though she dressed more like she was in her teenage years. The fact that she thought they were even remotely the same age was only a nod to the fact that Hjørdis had much whiter hair than she did. The last part of her words were aimed at the ‘younger’ man in the room. It would not be the first time she was calling her old. The last time, she had heard the word ‘cougar’ had been thrown around at a local town event and she was 99% certain it was because of Davids.
To avoid glaring at her, Hjørdis turned away to turn on the stove and boil some water, “Tea?” She asked the room, knowing full well what the answer would be as she poured the water into the pot to boil.
This is my former staff account.
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)
A Desperate Housewife
@Hjørdis Jensen
Mouth full of chocolate chip, Caradoc looked up from his newspaper. The sun glaring in the glasses he so loathed to wear. As if he knew her thoughts, the Hufflepuff wiggled his finger in Nora's direction. There would be no poisoning today. He did, however, realize that he was still in his housecoat. But Nora was too quick with the invite and gave him no chance of escape.
Pulling up the paper in front of him, Caradoc desperately tried to swallow the rest of the cookie. Nora did tell him to savor them more rather than gobble them down like some starving badger. As the last bit pushed painfully past his throat, he eventually folded the paper and swung it next to him on the table.
"Mrs Davids! How nice of you to drop by... again." The last word was said a little quieter as it was more intended for Nora than for their actual guest. "Oh, yes." He rubbed a few crumbs off his coat and smiled. "She's been baking." His eyes shot towards the actual younger woman in the room. This place was quickly becoming a minefield. He had half a mind to grab his newspaper again and hide behind it.
If you're reading this... You're awesome.
Calming Presence/Healing Sage/Wandless/Non-Verbal
STA - 16 | EVA - 6 | STR - 15 | WIS - 16 | ARC - 8 | ACC - 4
A Desperate Housewife
Who: @Caradoc Browne
"Oh yes, tea! Hold the sugar though, I'm already so sweet! I bet you don't need sugar either!" She replied, looking at Caradoc as though he was the one making the tea.
Hjørdis busied herself in making the tea specifically to avoid having to talk to this ridiculously annoying woman. The smile on her face was so fake that she was pretty sure it would get stuck in that horrible expression. She was fairly sure Caradoc found her reaction to this person highly amusing - or at least, he would have if the woman wasn't very interested in him.
Once the water had boiled, she grated some ginger into it, added some leaves and stirred. After a minute or two, she added the tea leaves and continued to boil it. Shooting a glance over her shoulder, she could see the two talking.
What bothered her most, however, was that Davids was really close to Caradoc. It irked her. They had been living here for a couple of months now and it was the sort of neighbourhood where it was almost strange to lock your door, unless you weren't home. As such, she had left it open but this allowed people like Davids to barge in whenever they liked. Now Hjørdis was not an angry person by nature. She seemed angry and cold, sure but only a few things actually angered her. Davids was one of them.
What made the whole thing worse was that of all the sins, the one she probably did not know she had until she met Caradoc was jealousy. She trusted him, of course. But other people around him? For some reason, she hated it. Perhaps because he was so nice that he would be polite, kind and look after anyone who needed it. But she hated it. Even when a short woman asked if he could get something from the top shelf in a supermarket, it bothered her. She liked to pretend it didn't but it did. How could it not? Before him, she had used her looks to get plenty of people to carry things for her, buy her stuff or help her. In the past, when she had to move without using magic, she had managed to her a neighbour to move her boxes into her new flat and unpack most of it for her.
She turned back to the counter, picking up the cardamom and adding it into the tea, as well as other spices. Whilst it was brewing, she watched the two.
Davids had the audacity to remove her coat, fanning herself and declaring she was "Oh, so hot". Davids looked at Caradoc, moved closer and continued, "Aren't you too hot in that? Why don't you take it off? Get comfortable!" Hjørdis froze, staring at the audacity of this neighbour. The woman tried to place her hand on Caradoc's arm as she spoke, trying to tug it off him. Her eyebrow twitched slightly in anger as she tried to maintain the pleasant expression on her face.
It wouldn't take too long to brew a Draught of Living Death, would it? She might have some sopophorous beans hidden away in one of these cupboards...
Or was it acceptable to straight up throw a knife from the counter at the older woman? She hissed slightly as the tea she was pouring into the teacup spilt onto her finger. She poured out the cups of tea, bringing them over to the 'couple' in the room, before going back and pouring her own. Not wanting to watch the creepy and bad attempts at flirting (if it could even be called that), she moved to focus her attention to the cookies, pulling out the tray from the oven, “I thought I’d just prepare some cookies for the school’s fundraiser. You know how it is,” She replied as she placed them onto the counter to start to cool down and popped in another tray that had been ready and waiting on the side. In order to fit into the muggle neighbourhood, she was heavily involved with helping out at the community events such as the fundraiser for the school's art program.
Before she could even close the oven, she spotted the other woman's hand prodding a cookie and lifting it up. She had no idea when the woman had marched across the room to get to the cookies but she was quick, “Oh! HOT!” She scorned as she threw it back, aggressively blowing on them all. Hjørdis could see bits of saliva flying in the air. It took all of her willpower not to throw up right there and then. Who the heck touched other people’s food without asking, put it back and then spat all over the rest of them whilst trying to cool them down?! And of course they were hot! She had literally just pulled them out of the oven. Davids then broke off a piece of a cookie - not the one she had touched, mind you. Hjørdis was pretty sure it was a different one - and shoved it into her mouth, “Oh my, this. Is. Delicious!” Hjørdis heard her exaggerated every single word with more energy than necessary.
Straining to restrain herself, she plastered on a fake smile as she pulled out a Tupperware box from a cupboard and placed it near the tray, “I’m so glad you think so. Why don’t you take this batch home? I’ll make another for the fundraiser,” She continued as she used a spatula to move the cookies into the box without bothering to wait for confirmation as she knew the other woman would immediately take them.
"So, what brings you here?" she managed to get out without gritting her teeth.
"Oh, mhmm, yeah, you know," Hjørdis heard her mumble through the cookies as Davids went back to sitting really close to Caradoc. She could not help but sigh. This was going to be a painful conversation. Shooting Caradoc a look, she silently begged him to let her poison this woman.
This is my former staff account.
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)
A Desperate Housewife
Who: @Caradoc Browne
Hjørdis clenched her teeth within her jaw slightly before exhaling. She had to remain calm but poisoning the lady was definitely the only thought that came to mind as she stared at her. Luckily, the woman started to talk. Unfortunately, the words coming out of the woman's mouth was not stuff that Hjørdis was remotely interested in.
"Oh, gosh, did you hear? The Mitchells might be getting a divorce. I wonder why? I always thought Jim kept looking at me, you know? Very sus. And their teenager, that Jessica girl, might be moving in with her boyfriend. Can you believe it? Living in sin!" Hjørdis did not bother to point out that she was entirely certain Davids would cheat on her husband if she had the opportunity based on her behaviour towards Caradoc and that technically, they weren't married either.
This continued for five minutes, where Hjørdis found out way too many rumours - most of which she was entirely certain were baseless and untrue - about the neighbourhood without asking. She did not bother to respond but Davids continued to talk.
"Oh! And did you hear? That Jamie Turner boy got into an accident last night, and almost damaged the house! Can you imagine? He could have gone straight through the house! What if his poor grandmother was sitting inside?! Teenagers these days, absolutely horrifying! I would never! I tell you, we should ban all children from this town. It would be much safer! He clearly doesn't know how to drive so whatever compelled him to get in the car is beyond me, honestly, children these days-"
This caught her attention for the first time in the monologue of Davids. The silver haired woman could not quite believe her ears, "Wait- is Jamie okay?" She asked, more concerned about his health than whatever nonsense she was sprouting on about. Hjørdis watched the woman who was moving the cushions around, fluffing them up and starting to adjust where they go as she made herself more comfortable. It baffled her that Davids seemed more interested in the cushion or sharing gossip than actually the health of the young boy.
"Oh, he's fine. Bruised and stuff. I think he's in the hospital. Might have some scars or something," Davids continued as she waved her hand dismissively, "Oh but get this, I heard that Elizabeth Roth, you know the one that lives over by Maple? She's having trouble with her business. They've been cooking the books, I'm sure. I've always said that she seems too arrogant, must be stealing from the company. The auditors are coming in next week so I'm sure it will all be revealed very soon! And..." Hjørdis stopped listening as the annoying neighbour continued to talk, gossiping about anything and everything.
"Excuse me one moment," She responded as she made her way out of the room. She went upstairs, out onto the balcony and peered from there. From there, she could see the Turners home down the street. It seemed like the bin had tipped over and the car was much too close to it but it did not appear like major damage. She was certain she had not heard the incident either - no screaming, no car skidding or crashing, no police or ambulance.
She returned a minute or two later to hear Davids talking about a family selling their home and moving out of town.
Hjørdis placed a few things she had brought back into the room with her onto the counter as she busied herself. There was a large tub that she opened up and scooped a little into a smaller tub. Bruise Removal Paste. It would certainly come in handy to help with any bruises. Then poured some red coloured liquid into a small plastic bottle, Cranberry Cleaner in case of infection and to help with the healing.
It did seem like the boy might not be severe but if he was actually in hospital then she could not risk anything. She mentally started making a tally of the ingredients she had to hand and any potions that they had already prepared earlier, wondering if there was some Essence of Dittany or Reorganizer or any other healing potion that could assist. She would have to see him for herself before she could determine if there was anything else useful but hopefully, it was a minor incident as Davids has mentioned.
"That Jamie kid was lucky though! I heard the school has an outbreak of something serious, children spreading their flu everywhere. All the kids are getting sick! He lucked out by being in the hospital! You know, you two are very lucky you don't have children here. You'd all be getting sick with these misfits," The potioneer wanted to smack the woman sitting in her house, sipping her tea and chomping down on her cookies like there was no tomorrow. A teenage boy getting hurt was not lucky and children weren't misfits for getting sick.
Instead, she asked a simple question, "Everyone's getting sick? Do you know what the symptoms are?" Wondering if it was the flu or something else. Perhaps... she could drop some 'get well cookies' over to everyone's house with an antidote mixed in. Did that count as poisoning the food if it was for their own benefit? She glanced at Caradoc who was likely having a grand time listening to Davids, especially when she left the two of them alone. Yeah... he probably hated the silver haired woman for doing that...
OOC: Thought I'd do a quick reply to get the thread moving to the potions part :p
This is my former staff account.
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)
I also play: Serena Towers (Graduated PC), Arjan Oberoi (Graduated iNPC), Xiomara Torres (Current Student)