Journey of Trust PV Clarke O.

@Charlotte Evergreen WC:218

Clarke shouldered her bag and entered the Great Hall. She was mentally creating a list of every task she had to get done by the end of the week. The idea was to go to the Great Hall to get some work done. She'd tried working in the common room, but it felt too lonely. There were no other students to make the customary noises that helped calm her mind. To make her feel like she wasn't alone in the vast and horrible world she believed she lived in.

Clarke noticed a Ravenclaw girl also walk into the Great Hall. Charlotte sat at the Gryffindor table. She had a chess set in front of her and was waving to the Ravenclaw girl. The girl kept moving towards the Ravenclaw table after declining the offer to play chess.

Clarke remembered how Charlotte had been kind to her at the ball. She didn't really want to sit by Charlotte, but she felt bad that the girl had refused the chess offer, so Clarke stood on the opposite side of the table, facing Charlotte.

"Hey. I'm Clarke from the ball. Is it alright for me to sit here?" Would the excitement of the ball be the reason for Charlotte's kindness and now she didn't even want to talk to Clarke anymore?

Date: Feb 8 | @Clarke Olverin | Word Count: 358

Charlotte sighed silently as the girl politely declined her offer and walked off. Oh well, I can find someone else. She sat there awkwardly, playing with her bangs as she waited to see if anyone would be interested. She knew she probably looked dumb just sitting by herself with a full chess board out in front of her. As more and more people came in, with none of them looking interested in having a game of chess, Charlotte considered putting away her chess board. No point in playing chess by myself.

She listened to the chatter in the Great Hall, looking around one last time, ready to put the chess pieces away. But then she spotted Clarke coming in, a bag on her shoulder. Clarke. From the ball. To be honest, Charlotte hadn't really thought about Clarke in a while. The awkward encounter of the last ball seemed so long ago, and it wasn't something Charlotte wanted to remember. She considered asking Clarke to play chess with her. She'd probably decline anyways. She remembered inviting Clarke to hang out for the night at the ball, and Clarke declining her offer.

Charlotte slightly cringed at the memory. She remembered making Clarke upset at the ball and shut her eyes, trying to get that moment of her head. She spotted Clarke coming to the table, her eyes seemingly on Charlotte. She wondered if Clarke was thinking about the ball too. But as Clarke came closer and closer, Charlotte wondered why she was coming to her. She wondered if she should say something. It wasn't like they were enemies.

Clarke stood in front of her, and said "Hey. I'm Clarke from the ball." She looked up, surprised that Clarke had said hi to her. "Is it alright for me to sit here?"

"Clarke!" Charlotte said, trying to hide her surprise with a friendly smile. Despite the awkwardness that had happened, Charlotte was happy to see Clarke. Honestly, Charlotte had thought Clarke never wanted to talk to her again. " Yeah of course. It's so nice to see you! How have you been doing?"

"Do you want to play chess?" Charlotte finally asked.

@Charlotte Evergreen WC:309

Clarke's shoulders relaxed. At least it didn't seem like Charlotte was upset with her. She sat down opposite Charlotte and put her bag on the table beside her. "Sure, I'll play chess with you," she replied. She still remembered how Charlotte had brought up memories she didn't want to go over again. There was still some part of Clarke that resented her for it, but another part told her she needed a friend, even if she didn't become vulnerable to that friend. She would never be vulnerable again. Her fear that Charlotte would leave arose in her again. She told herself to act normal, to act like she was fine. If people thought she was fine, they wouldn't be scared off. The night of the ball was a blip, it was an accident for feeling so emotional. She would fix it.

"So, um, do you have any other friends here," she asked, fiddling with her bag clasp. The homework that was waiting inside the bag was taunting her, telling her she was wasting her time, but she didn't listen. Homework could wait. Wait for the middle of the night. She was usually awake at that time anyhow, might as well put that time to good use.

She found that the middle of the night was very peaceful. No one was around to judge her or try to betray her. She could be the one betraying others at that time and they would have no idea of what was going on. But she rarely went out of her dormitory. The girls in her dorm slept deeply, so a simple Lumos and scratching of a quill on paper wouldn't wake them up.

She didn't really know all the correct rules of chess, so she would ask along the way. She and Tripp-oh, never mind. She got rid of that thought.

Date: Feb 8 | @Ruby Diumme @Clarke Olverin | Word Count: 337

Charlotte held her breath as she waited for Clarke's verdict. To be honest, Charlotte wasn't completely sure if Clarke was still upset at her. Even though the fall dance seemed like it happened so many ages ago, she wouldn't blame Clarke if she didn't want to sit with her. She wished it had never happened. Clearly, Clarke was struggling with something and Charlotte had hurt her. But Charlotte's heart skipped as Clarke set down her bag and sat down. Maybe she wasn't mad. Or maybe she just feels bad for you. She thought of the way she probably looked when she was sitting with a full chess board out with no one in front of her.

She got rid of that thought and looked back up to Clarke. Clarke casually asked if she had any other friends here, and Charlotte looked down for a second. Because the truth was, Charlotte didn't really have any friends in school. She didn't have anyone to check up on her, or sit beside her when she was alone without it turning to a silence that felt awkward. From the outside, it didn't look like she was lonely. In a hallway full of people, she could walk through it and exchange waves and quick hellos before heading to her next class. Sure, she knew a lot of people, but somehow those friendships just never seemed to take off. It wasn't fair. She was never fully alone, but she always felt lonely.

"My friends are somewhere else," Charlotte said. That was true, technically. hoping Clarke didn't notice the way her eyes never fully looked up, just at the chess pieces in front of her. Or how she fiddled with the chess piece in her hand. But she didn't like to think about it. And she wasn't going to let that small moment ruin her evening. So she pretended nothing happened. She shook it off. Then she took her attention back to the chess board, and she moved a pawn. "Your turn."

@Charlotte Evergreen WC:210

"Please don't lie." It was hard to keep the pleading out of her voice. No more lies.

Somehow she still couldn't blame Charlotte. Clarke knew all too well the feeling of worthlessness. Clarke moved her hand up to place it over Charlotte's, but retracted it quickly. Would Charlotte be okay with that? Would Clarke be okay with opening up? Oh, if someone could see her without her having to explain everything! But she had promised herself to not open up again. "I understand if you don't have many friends, I don't either. But lying doesn't help."

Clarke moved one of her chess pieces, but wasn't sure if it was a good move to make. Clarke thought back. Of all the memories they had together, Clarke couldn't remember much about playing chess with Tripp. Only that they indeed played it together.

As they played, Clarke felt something she hadn't in a while. Something like calm. It wasn't like those late nights in her dorm, those just made her feel numb. This was better. Like there's hope for something better. Even though she didn't deserve it.

Clarke and Charlotte went on taking their turns on the chessboard. Finally, Clarke spoke again, "do you have any plans for the summer? Travelling or something?"

Date: Feb 8 | @Clarke Olverin | Word Count: 470

"Please don't lie."

Those words made Charlotte nearly drop her pawn in mid-move. How did she know? She froze for a second, then pretended to be unbothered while she sat there shocked and speechless, tapping her fingers quietly. Charlotte was dumbfounded. Those words had caught her quite off-guard. Clarke put her hand on the one resting on the table before quickly taking it off and said, "I understand if you don't have many friends, I don't either. But lying doesn't help."

How many times had she lied about it? She wasn't sure, but it was the first time, well, someone finally noticed. Looking at the chess board in front of her, she still wasn't sure what to say, but managed, "I know," Charlotte finally said, staring into Clarke's eyes. "Sorry. But thank you." For understanding.

She wasn't sure what to say next, but some sort of relief flowed through her. She felt relaxed, like a giant boulder was finally off her chest. They played in silence, but not the awkward silence that sometimes happened to Charlotte, but more of comfortable silence. Still, Charlotte couldn't quite focus, and she knew that Clarke would probably win the game. She couldn't stop thinking about the fall ball, remembering how lonely she felt at the ball. She was trying to rewind the moments, figuring out what she had said. "You're gonna leave already? Why?" The words echoed inside of her as she remembered saying those words to Clarke. She flinched thinking about what happened.

Clarke had been so understanding about Charlotte's loneliness, she didn't ask questions, didn't pry. Why couldn't Charlotte have done the same for Clarke at the ball? Why'd she have to be so nosy? Interrupting Charlotte's thoughts, Clarke asked, "Do you have any plans for the summer? Traveling or something?"

"No. I think I'm just going home to my family," Charlotte said with a hint of content in her voice. She was excited to go back to her home in London, seeing her parents and sister again. Out of habit, she asked, "What about you?"

Then she thought about what Clarke had said at the ball. "You don't know me. You don't know what's happened. You don't want to know. If you did, you'd want to unknow it. I want to unknow it." Did whatever was bothering Clarke have anything to do with her family? She didn't want a repeat of the ball because of being nosy, so before Clarke had a chance to speak, she spoke.

"Clarke, its been bothering me, and I'm just gonna say it." Charlotte said without thinking, "What I said at the ball was wrong. I should have been understanding, like you. I shouldn't have asked questions. I know I messed up, and I'm so, so sorry." She had apologized at the ball, but wanted to apologize again.