Midnight Wanderings Finished

SAPPHIRE HUMMED IN RESPONSE. She’d never really gotten a chance to be a kid herself, but that was partially her own doing.

“I never really got the chance to have a real childhood. I always focused more on intellect-focused things, and adoptive brother and his twin sister started to gang up on me about a year after I moved in with them. I squashed down any of my childish instincts and became a shell,” she said. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but be happy that your childhood lasted past age 4.” Her words were soft, not well heard. She laced and unlaced her fingers, eyes never satiating in one place for more than a few seconds.

Her reclusive nature and unwillingness to share was one of the main things that she normally kept around other people, but for some reason she was being fairly open. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked out, gaze finally focusing on something out in the forest. A light in the dark backdrop.

It was a creature with a pure-white pelt, silvery horn protruding from its forehead. She wondered for a second whether she should point out the creature. Wordlessly, she pointed to the creature, hopefully directing the lioness’s gaze. “I wonder how different our struggles really are from wild animals. The hierarchy of the creatures, the predator-prey relationship—is it really so different from us? The more powerful forces force the weaker and younger members go much harder than they logically should, some even more than others. And no one does anything to change it unless something more powerful makes an entrance. They’re just as free as we are…” She trailed off, mentally cursing herself for going off on a rant. But she made a fair point. She hoped that was good enough to justify it.

@Sapphire Riddle

At Katrina's comment about childhood, Sapphire seemed almost restless. The second year noticed by the light of her wand that her eyes were darting about and she seemed to not be able to stay still. With a soft voice the pale girl explained that she never really had a childhood. Katrina struggled to imagine a world without water balloon fights and pranking her parents with her brother Liam. She had always grown up in a family that cherished freedom from responsibility as often as they could. Katrina had a mischievous childhood that died along with her family.

Katrina was surprised how nice this was. Two girls up, close to midnight at the top of their magical school. Low voices, whispers of wind, perspective shifting. This conversation felt more at home than she had experienced since even before the fire. It's because you are being honest.

The second-year was drawn from her thoughts by Sapphire shifting. She was pointing at something in the distance. Katrina followed her gaze and saw a brilliant white speck. There was some sort of creature. Katrina had to look at it for several seconds before identifying it as a unicorn. A silent gasp escaped her lips, it was one of the first kind magical creatures she had ever seen in person. Eyes wide with wonder, Katrina listened to Sapphire.

“I wonder how different our struggles really are from wild animals. The hierarchy of the creatures, the predator-prey relationship—is it really so different from us? The more powerful forces force the weaker and younger members go much harder than they logically should, some even more than others. And no one does anything to change it unless something more powerful makes an entrance. They’re just as free as we are…”

Katrina contemplated this for a moment, "How come I've never thought of it that way? Wild creatures always seem much more free to me though. They have the ability to go wherever they want and do just about whatever they want too. We are confined much more by authority and government and stuff like that," Katrina trailed off realizing that what Sapphire had said was completely true, they had to respect predators and live in whatever territory hadn't been claimed or they would face consequences.

"For some reason, I always wondered what it would be like to fly. Like a dragon, not in an airplane or any other muggle thing. Just to fly and have the freedom of the air," Katrina commented wistfully, eyes still trained on the beast below, "Dragons were the first thing I ever wanted to see when I learned there was magic truly in the world. That power and agility and just plain freedom, nothing really is a threat to them once they get older, they can do whatever they want to," Katrina rubbed her hands on the railing, the cold forcing her back to reality.

SAPPHIRE NODDED. “I was raised among muggles, but I never forgot the idea of flying on such a creature. I’ve seen skeletal winged horses, wondered if I could get away on one before. But I never got the chance to see them up close.”

She paused. That wasn’t right. “Actually, they pull the carriages that take us to Hogwarts. But no one else seems able to see them,” she said, voice quiet. “I researched it, and I can see them because I’ve seen death and understood it. Quite sad, really,” she murmured. The breeze was oppressing now, even though it had been comforting moments ago.

At the sudden impulse to jump over the edge, she moved away from it and sat against the wall. She wasn’t sure whether that seemed rude, but she was more focused on not committing suicide to care much. Now she was just staring at the dark stone of the wall, breaths coming shakily. Fuck, she thought. The will to jump wasn’t normally that strong.

Her vision zoned out again, and she felt the energy drain out of her. She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. Her behaviour was probably concerning. She straightened up against the wall, arms loosely wrapped around her legs. Great, she thought. Just wonderful.

@Sapphire Riddle

Katrina looked quite confused at the mention of the skeletal horses. Then as Sapphire explained it Katrina nodded remembering reading about them at some point in the library. Then she hadn’t quite understood it, but now she realized what it truly meant. That must be so scary.

Katrina noticed something was up with Sapphire all too late. She backed up, seemingly growing more pale even with her pale skin. Katrina noticed that her breaths were shaky and rapid. “Hey, hey” Katrina came to her side, “It’s okay, listen to me,” She put the pieces together, this girl had a lot more on her mind than Katrina did if she was thinking about jumping.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,“ Katrina’s voice was worried, but somehow almost commanding, nowhere near rude, perhaps urgent would be a better word to describe it.

It may have been too soon, but Katrina put her arm on Sapphire’s shoulder. “Look at me, do not jump. I swear that you would regret it more than you have ever regretted anything in your entire life. There is a chance to make up something, pretty much anything else you could do wrong. But jumping, there is no go backs for.,” Katrina looked her in her eyes, in a quieter softer voice she added, “I don’t want to see thestrals, because of you,”

Katrina was right beside Sapphire now. She didn’t know what else to do, but hopefully the urgency and pain in Katrina’s eyes could finish the conversation for her. The second year wasn’t sure if the Slytherin felt she didn’t belong or nobody cared or whatever else, but she did know that she was not going to allow this girl to take her own life.

SAPPHIRE MENTALLY CURSED HERSELF. What was wrong with her? Her stupid brain was already curious, and then it decided to shove the weight of everything that had happened down onto her shoulders at the exact place that would offer her an “opportune chance” to just jump over the edge?

She shut her eyes, slowing down her breathing. She thought she knew what’d happened, now. “I’ve never really stated my past out loud. I suppose I didn’t realize the magnitude until the words came out of my mouth, and it all came crashing down like the sky on Atlas. It was… Everything at once was a bit much,” she said, attempting to explain her actions. She always stayed busy, even when she wandered the halls at night. She’d never explicitly stated what had happened to her in her short life, so she wasn’t hit with it full force like just then.

Her breathing was normal now. “Thank you,” she mumbled to Katrina. She didn’t normally have anyone to reason with her. Suffice to say, it was different. A good different, but still different.

She rested her chin against her knees, gaze locked on a brick that was half lighter, half darker. She bit down on her lip, but not hard enough to draw blood. Hm. I’m just now considering that I’ve only directly interacted with two Gryffindors during my entire time a Hogwarts.

@Sapphire Riddle

Katrina noticed, with a relief of pressure, that the girl had calmed down some. Her breaths regulated to a normal pace and her eyes were focused more. Katrina tried to look her in the eyes but there seemed to be an ocean of emotions and thoughts crashing through her head.

"Is this-- is that a normal thing for you?" The second-years voice was gentle if a bit concerned. How could this girl bear everything? With everything that had been going on with Katrina, she had never thought about ending it. There were always more options and more things to try out. "I mean, I don't want to be annoying on anything, but you might want to talk to your head of house... she would be infinitely better at helping than I am," The last part of Katrina's suggestion was more of a grouchy whisper. The 12-year-old had absolutely no clue what she was doing, she wanted to help this girl but didn't know how.

Katrina pulled the girl into a hug, it may have been premature since they had just met, but this girl needed to know that someone cared. As the lioness let go, she looked the other second-year directly in her eyes, "Please, if you ever actually think that you are going to go through with it, at least let me try to talk you out of it," Katrina didn't know what else to do now so she just hoped her company would be enough to help.

THE FACT THAT KATRINA WAS WILLING TO HELP HER WAS BAFFLING. Sapphire wasn’t used to people she didn’t know well caring about her well-being. It was… kind of nice. “I think about it sometimes, but it’s mostly just curiosity. I wonder what it would be like, but I don’t often feel like actually doing it.”

The words were flowing surprisingly easy. She didn’t normally share, so she was surprised. Her bright blue eyes reflected the light, enforcing the idea that they were glowing. She puffed up her cheeks. What would her next move be? She could…

She took a breath, hoping she wouldn’t screw this up. “Would you be alright with a little questionnaire? Partially to get to know each other, partially to distract ourselves? We both seem to have a lot on our minds, and sometimes talking helps.” She chose her next words carefully. “Erm… I don’t want to cross any boundaries…” She couldn’t gauge Katrina’s reaction, purposefully avoiding looking at her in favour of studying the tower.

Once again, her thoughts were racing a mile a minute. Which was exactly what she was trying to avoid. I hope my behaviour isn’t disrespectful… Ugh, social interaction is not my forte, she thought nervously. If this ends badly, I shall blame lack of sleep for my idiocy.

@Sapphire Riddle

Katrina's face still held the expression of concern, now it was an undertone, but the lioness wasn't certain the girl wouldn't jump up and throw herself off at any moment. The second year tucked her teal streak of hair behind her ear and listened. Listening was the best this she could do at the moment, so she was listening really well.

“Would you be alright with a little questionnaire? Partially to get to know each other, partially to distract ourselves? We both seem to have a lot on our minds, and sometimes talking helps.” Katrina shrugged in indifference, "“Erm… I don’t want to cross any boundaries…”

"Well since you already know my parents are dead, everything else is easier," Katrina inwardly cringed at how bad that sounded, "Sure, sounds good," she corrected, wishing she could erase her first comment.

Katrina felt herself tugging at her silver locket again. I thought I was done with that... her nervous habit had almost been erased, but every time someone brought up her parents, she went for the locket that held everything she had left of them inside. On one side was her parents, smiling and waving, and the other was her brother, mischievous smile and all. Curled on the inside was a strand of Boomerang, her kitten's, fur.

"Go ahead," Katrina gave a feeble smile, looking up at the stars, wishing there was more that she could do.

SHE TOOK A SHAKY BREATH, shutting her eyes. The light of her wand flickered. Ok, she thought.Ok.

She took another breath, opening her eyes again. The light of her wand returned to its cool white glow without going out. “Do you have a pet?” she asked, genuinely curious. She herself didn’t own a pet, but she wanted an owl. She didn’t have enough money for one, though Koko had offered to give her some. Slightly resentful, she thought, With all her fancy positions, she gets quite a bit more than me. Her gaze hardened for a split second, but she was quick to shove it away. “I don’t, though I would like one.” She didn’t elaborate, since she didn’t want to seem… She just didn’t want to seem overeager? She didn’t know.

The wind didn’t reach the wall of the tower she was leaning against, and the air felt slightly stale. But maybe that was just her. She rubbed her fingers against her wrist, tips of her nails feeling nice against her bare skin. Her jacket started slipping off her shoulders, having been much too big for her. She didn’t really mind.

She could barely even hear herself breathing. Try not to die of embarrassment.

Sapphire started with an easy enough question. "Yeah, I have a kitten named Boomerang. He follows me everywhere even though he's not supposed to. I'm sure you've seen him around. He's the orange kitten that is always wandering, I swear, he's impossible to keep contained," Katrina offered a ghost of a smile trying to lighten the mood.

"And you?" Katrina nodded her head, she had debated between a kitten and an owl too.

"Ok, then. Um, what is your favorite class or subject?" Start off easy happy questions, something just to get to know her.

After she responded Katrina would add, "I really like Charms, just because I never had magic growing up, and I'm pretty good at it," Katrina smiled before adding, "But I can't wait to choose classes so I can take care of magical creatures," Katrina wasn't sure why she was sharing so much, but she was.

Katrina found herself rubbing the inside of her left sleeve again. The little teal embroidered dragon was still guiding her. The nervous habit was comforting and kept Katrina from overreacting or freaking out or doing something random. The second-year didn't know why, but she was kind of anxious, worried perhaps and trying to smooth things over some.