OOC Let's Chat!

Solomon Lear wrote: 29 May 2026, 01:18 Remy, not sure where this came from, but it might be worth stating the following:

Nobody owes you their time, and you do not owe anybody yours.

Yes, it sucks that your sibling does things for others that she does not do for you. But at the same time, she is not obligated to do those things for you, just as you are not obligated to continue bending over backwards for someone who treats you poorly in return.

If someone wants to be angry at you over something unreasonable, that is their prerogative. But it also means you are allowed to disengage.. You do not need to spend your energy trying to appease people determined to be upset with you. In those situations, the healthiest thing you can sometimes do is simply let them stew in their own mood while you move on with your day. Between the person escalating and the person choosing peace, the latter generally comes out ahead.

Your time belongs to you, not to them.

If your brother is being rude or short with you, then perhaps playing games with him is no longer worth your time in that moment. If you want to play games, by all means do so! It is not about punishing anyone, it is about choosing yourself and communicating that you have boundaries, need space and that you expect to be treated a certain way. You can't make someone be "nice" to you, but you also can choose to distance yourself from it. If your sister is treating you badly or weaponizing silence and hostility, then you are not required to chase after her approval or continue the interaction.

A lot of people are conditioned into believing they must endure poor treatment to "keep the peace," especially within families, but boundaries are not cruelty. This seems to be something I have talked about a lot as of late, but telling someone - "you were mean to me, so I do not wish to engage right now" is a perfectly reasonable response.

Sometimes people behave badly because they assume there will never be consequences for how they treat others. When interactions become particularly egregious or you feel yourself being painted as the villain unfairly, keeping records or examples is not unreasonable. People are often much more comfortable defending behavior in the abstract than they are looking directly at their own words or actions.

That said, I would also caution against fully embracing the role of the "black sheep" or convincing yourself that you are fundamentally separate from everyone around you. Families are complicated. People lash out because of stress, patterns, immaturity, frustration, exhaustion, or dynamics built over years. That does not make hurtful behavior acceptable, but it also means situations are often less absolute than "angel child versus villain."