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She couldn’t breathe as her eyes welled up with tears. This world was awful, she didn’t want to be here anymore. She had always been told she wasn’t enough, maybe she was blinded and that was the truth. That she didn’t matter, that she could throw herself off a cliff and no one would care. Well, Lauren would. But just one person wasn’t enough.
She took out her diary, a photo of her and her parents in the first page.
That was it, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She started crying, tears falling onto the page, reminding her of what she once had, and will never will again.
The way that someone leaves this world, was all just levels to her now.
And those absolute clowns would walk up to her and have the nerve to tell her she was over reacting. That was what broke her the most, what did they expect her to do, smile and laugh it off?
She lowered her head into her knees, hoping that no one would see her.
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| They say I did something bad, then why's it feel so good | All the right guys promised they’d stay | I know that you’ll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt | Don’t you forget about the way you betrayed me | You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe |
Someone new
What in the Merlin's world do people usually do in their free time?
Alex had just done his homework at the side of the Great Lake and wanted to read the book he usually carries around but god had decided that today isn't exactly his day. Great. He left it in the dorm. With a quiet sigh, he left the lake with books in hand.
Alex missed his friends back home, they're the only one he knows that would never judge the way he talks. He should write them a letter soon enough. Alex just passes by the large and tall fountain as his eyes dart around the courtyard. There's little to no students that were sitting around at the moment. His steps trails off as he stare at particularly one girl sitting on an empty bench, hunching forward while her face covered by her hair.
'Is she sick?' He think to himself as he slowly approaching the girl. The students around the courtyard were minding their own business, unaware of what's happening to the girl. He slip a hand in his trousers pocket, taking out a small, folded handkerchief with his embroidered initials 'A.H.K' near the edges.
"Are you alright?" He ask carefully, standing a few inches away from the girl as a way to respect her personal space. He extend his hand to offer the handkerchief when he hears her soft sobs, "What's.. wrong?" He ask, as if the word is foreign on his tongue.
" The lesson of history is that no one learns. "
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But there was this feeling, that maybe she did need someone to talk to. Maybe staying quiet about it wasn’t the best thing. And who better to talk to than a stranger who knew nothing about her?
She took the handkerchief, looking at the embroidered AHK, and dabbed her eyes. She wasn’t going to be any damsel in distress.
She motioned for him to sit, straightening up to talk.
“I live in a very happy family. At least I used to. Lately, it’s just been breaking apart bit by bit, like no one actually cared in the first place. It was a tight knot, then it loosened, and loosened, until all that was left was a frayed string. My parents….my mom had been seeing someone else. The same mother who taught me to walk, used to go on dates with my father, and is a part of most of the good memories I had. And…she admitted. Then my father got mad, and you can figure out the rest.” Her gaze hardened, driven mad by anger and frustration.
“But why would you care? You wouldn’t know how much it hurts!”
She gazed into his eyes, beneath the hard exterior everyone saw, there was a soft little girl who needed help.
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| They say I did something bad, then why's it feel so good | All the right guys promised they’d stay | I know that you’ll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt | Don’t you forget about the way you betrayed me | You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe |
Someone new
What an awkward way to approach a girl. Way to go, idiot. He sighs softly when the girl takes the handkerchief from his extended hand. Alex stands tall like a statue, watching his surroundings as she wipes her face before he looks down again. 'Does she need me now?' Alex thinks to himself while he fidgets with the book in his hand, a habit he sometimes didn't even notice.
When she motioned him to sit, he didn't move right away, and gazed at the empty spot and the girl with an unreadable face. He shifted from one foot to another before finally sitting down beside her, leaving a small space in between them. Alex isn't great at comforting someone, let alone a stranger. A girl. If the girl beside him is his mother, it would be more easy but that's the problem, isn't it?
When the girl speaks, Alex listens as he always does. 'Be a good listener if you have nothing great to offer or speak,' is what he always told himself. So it's a family problem. He's not an expert on this matter as his family is what most people called perfect. He'd be a huge freakin' bullock if he bragged about his parents to someone who's clearly struggling.
"You shouldn't assume such a thing." Alex says, tone flat as usual. "Sure, I have zero ideas on how much it hurts," He shrugs and ask, "but do you feel better now?". Trust him when he says he never had a girl open up to him about a personal matter. It's.. Odd, but he's still sitting here, isn't he?
" The lesson of history is that no one learns. "
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“I’ll take my pride, stand here for you, no I’m not blind, just seeing it through”
Was exactly how she felt at that moment. She was bound to have her own opinions on stuff, to express how she felt about it. And honestly, telling it to that stranger, even though she didn’t really know who he was, felt strangely calming. As if her rage had been passed on, and then diluted away into sadness, which was something she could cope with.
“Do you feel better now?”
Did she? Yes, actually, she did. It helped a lot. Maybe the woman who raised her was right, maybe she needed to speak out for herself more often.
She paused for a bit, opened her mouth but nothing came out. “Me and you in awkward silence”..
After a long gap, she finally spoke, “Y-Yes, I do, thanks so much for listening. Who- Who are you?”
Whoever he was, he opened her eyes to something she would have realised long ago l that she needed to stop agreeing with whatever people said and sometimes talk about matters openly. This wasn’t the first time it was happening. People took advantage of her, which mad her frustrated but she didn’t object to it at the right time. Now, all they would tell her was that she was just eleven and wouldn’t understand all their “grown up talk”
Grown up? They were acting extremely childish to her.
“I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless.”
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| They say I did something bad, then why's it feel so good | All the right guys promised they’d stay | I know that you’ll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt | Don’t you forget about the way you betrayed me | You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe |
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His father once said to him that women are equally emotional as men, though women just handle theirs better. No matter who is better and who is not, Alex still couldn't understand his own emotions. Being non-verbal until the age of 7 wasn't exactly easy for him. A lot of criticism darted towards him, and he was as oblivious as ever.
' That poor boy.' him? Why him?
"... Thanks so much for listening – ," her words snapped him out of his thoughts. He sighs quietly before he mutters, "My pleasure.." He unconsciously straightened his back, another habit Alex developed at an early age. Then the question came right after. "Right, " He mutters almost to himself, "I'm Alex. Alex Kavanagh." He pauses, then asks, "And are you.?"
He tried to sound more curious, more emotional, though it sounded bizarre to him. Sure, he's incredibly smart when it comes to his academics, but that's it. He lets people use him for his own intelligence just to befriend someone. Well, used to.
Alex had always longed for emotional connections like any normal people do. He really does, but unfortunately, it's almost as if getting a once-in a-lifetime experience. ' you're soulless, Alex.' is what they always said because every single conversation he ever had does nothing to fill an endless void in his heart.
" The lesson of history is that no one learns. "
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Something she couldn’t access, a memory deep inside, buried like all those from when she was happy. So far yet…so near. What was this feeling?
“Oh the burning pain…”
It was sad how these things seemed to appear out of the blue, how they always happened on random Tuesdays. Yet who was she to question life?
This had affected her in many ways, she didn’t know if life was going to remain the same. I’d she was going to live with her father or her mother, or if they would abandon her altogether. Whatever it was, she didn’t control it, and would have to adapt. Maybe she would be sent to an orphanage. No, her family wouldn’t do that to her. Would they? She didn’t know, they had become all too unpredictable. This was something that would take some getting sued to, from her side and theirs.
She suddenly started feeling faint, her head feeling heavy, her stomach pained so much, she might have just been on a roller coaster. Her eyes began to close, her body seemed a mile apart from her and she lost consciousness- and fell into the clutches of the darkness.
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| They say I did something bad, then why's it feel so good | All the right guys promised they’d stay | I know that you’ll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt | Don’t you forget about the way you betrayed me | You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe |
Someone new
Why is that human capable of feeling something, yet nothing at the same time? Isn't it odd that he desires the simplest thing that should've long existed inside of him? Is he pretending to be someone else or is he merely trying to express himself? God, he has no idea. Though, for now, that isn't necessarily important.
When the girl introduced herself to Alex, his gaze softened. "Briar," he muttered her name under his breath, pausing. "A rose. Thorns. It's beautiful." he comments. If he's being honest, compliments might be his weakness, as he never freaking knows what to say to others, but when he does give one, it's genuine, though it may come out of nowhere.
Alex wants her to know that he's not judging her for what she had ranted earlier, quite the opposite. He would never judge someone's behaviour without understanding their nature. He's not some god to judge others for something so mere. It's a stupid reason to raise an unnecessary argument with others, which he always tries to avoid.
"Briar, are you -" Alex calls out to her, but soon dies out as he sees her eyes closed. 'Something's off.' He thinks. It only proves him right when her body falls forward, though Alex catches her before she can reach the ground. "I got you." He mutters softly as if trying to reassure her, though it seems pointless when one has lost their consciousness. He completely ignores the glances that dart in their way as Alex carries her in his arms.
" The lesson of history is that no one learns. "