all the things you never said pv. rafa closed

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Interacting With: @Gem Stuart
Mentioning: Jack Burnett

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[font=Segoe Print]Breakups fucking hurt.

In hindsight, it wasn’t a feeling the Gryffindor could say he’d felt a lot in his life. In fact, he supposed he’d never truly experienced what a ‘breakup’ really was – sure, the child had been in many a relationship before, consisting of girls, boys, sometimes having ‘loved’ more than one person at a time. He’d been married, twice, on the playground of his old preschool, with individual weddings and everything. He’d done burners, lasting ties, long distance, kindergarten sweethearts. He’d kissed before, and more than once. He’d never truly understood the meaning of what a relationship was to be, as every relationship he’d ever been in had been artificial, a child’s excuse for love. Crushes were normal, a natural feeling one felt when they looked upon someone new and felt a likeness between that person and themselves. A natural progression of hormones, by all means ordinary, in contrast to the manifold unexplainable facets of the universe.

But when someone loved someone else? Now, that was a different story.

It had been two months since Rafael and Gem had last talked. The two hadn’t exactly ended things on a good note – Gem had yelled at him, he’d yelled at Gem. There had been a lot of yelling, over what, he could hardly remember. He’d could vaguely recall his oath to the Ravenclaw, all that time ago, a simple promise, of few words and immense value – Jack had thrown a wrecking ball into everything the two had built together, and he’d told his boyfriend he’d fix it. How, he hadn’t had the fainted idea of, but if it meant making his little Ravenclaw happy, then my all means, he would have thrown himself in front of a bus to succeed. There had been hope. He and Gem hadn’t ended things yet, which meant, maybe, they could put the snake and his terrible ways behind them both, move on…

However, Gem had promptly disappeared, leaving the boy to his own devices.

At first, he’d thought the Ravenclaw had been playing coy, hiding his face in an effort to tug at the Gryffindor’s emotions, make him feel worse about what he had, or rather, hadn’t done. It was strange, unsettling – specifically, in the way that his lovely face has disappeared from the halls, his laugh gone from the tables of the Great Hall, aggravated antics void from their dual Transfigurations studies. After a while, it almost seemed as if the boy had never been at Hogwarts, only having been a ghost of a memory, plaguing the mind of the Gryffindor boy everywhere he seemed to go. Where had he gone? Perhaps Rafael would never know. What he did remember, was the fight, the way the two had left things. Was it possible that the lovely Raven had moved on? Left the young Captain all by his lonesome?

For two months, the boy had waited, his heart slowly tearing apart as the days trickled on. A lot had happened – he’d fought the Demon Brat more than once in the name of his boyfriend, had defended the Raven’s name. It seemed as if such things were a detriment to his own health, as he’d certainly gained a few scars along the way. But also – he’d met people, people that seemed to fill the gaping hole the boy had left, little by little. And, little by little, he stopped feeling empty. There had come a time when he could say with a certain sort of confidence that he’d moved on, forgotten about the raven-headed boy from Sheffield that had stolen his heart away. He was free once more.

Then, two months later, the boy’d reappeared – in the middle of the bloody Blossom Ball, at that, the worst possible time to be seen. He’d been publicly shamed for his relations with the young Captain – something that broke the Gryffindor’s heart, having seen the event from across the Pitch. Since then, the two hadn’t spoken, only had left the mess that the Ball had wrought over the little likeness that they had between each other. The Gryffindor couldn’t exactly say he was scared, per se – if anything, the boy was cautious, tentative to stir the waters that had stilled for the time being. However, it wasn’t too long after, that he’d received a note from the boy in the midst of Transfigurations. Which was quite surprising – why did Gem even want to bother with something so complicated?

Nonetheless, the Captain was far from declining. The least he could do was explain things, throw the weight that had plagued him for the last two months off his back. He owed that to Gem, at least, as well as himself. Besides, he’d never been one to run from his problems…

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips at the very sight of the boy, his eyes glinting brightly as his lips tugged upwards. It had been so long since he’d stood in front of Gem, and really gotten a good look at him. Long black hair, deep brown eyes. He was just as handsome as he had been the last time Rafa’d seem him. However, the smile was soon ushered away – a tentative look soon took its place, his features halted as he considered the boy before him. He was supposed to be angry and the Raven, surely. After all, it was his fault that the Captain had been stressing like hell “Where the bloody hell have you been?” he asked, shaking his head slightly, blowing some of his hair out of his face – he was wearing a sweatshirt, hood pulled just before his eyes, shadowing his face in an ominous sort of way as he spoke. “You don’t call. You don’t write.” What did Gem have to say for himself? What was his excuse? With only growing interest, the Gryffindor’s eyes sparked, what with anger or curiosity, he surely didn’t know. What he did know?

He was going to get his answers today. One way or another.

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OOC • I know it's god-awful, don't throw rocks at meeee~

@Rafael D'Spacito
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In the back of Gem's mind, his subconscious, he knew Rafael would never hurt him - so even when he'd normally half expect a slap on the face, or a shove, he expected nothing; only words. Maybe that was an unfair dynamic between the two of them, but it was one he felt was out of his control. He'd told himself he wasn't going to cry today, and he was sticking to it well, Rafa made it easy not to.

For a second, though, he couldn't help but stare.
Rafa had been absent from his life for so long, and seeing his face up close, it made his heart throb, it made his stomach twist. The feelings of appreciation had never truly gone away, and maybe that was a bad thing, but he'd tell himself it was alright until he knew it wasn't. That thought in its own made him take a long, full drag of his cigarette, blowing it out of the corner of his mouth before he stood up. He'd like to have stamped it out, but it was still fresh, and he didn't like to think of himself as wasteful.

"I-" He stopped himself, inhaling though his nose to collect composure. He wasn't sure why getting it out was so hard, but he figured it was because he'd been all crammed up, so he stood up on his feet - the height difference hadn't changed, he still had to look up a bit to speak to him. "Me bein' gone had nothing ta do wiv you."

He let that linger in the air for a second, the stillness, but felt it wrong not to continue. His palms felt clammy, but at least his nerves were relaxed; he could breathe, he wasn't panicking like he thought he would have at first.

"Me grandpa was dyin', but it... it caused quite a bit of family drama," He sucked his cheek in between his teeth, chewing on it as if he had any time to waste. "They scooped me up at night, unexpected, hadn't even sent me an owl or anythin'. Had to pack up me shit and get out wivin the next hour."

"We had ta stay in this house in Manchester, I was quite alright wiv it until they said I wasn't allowed ta write anyone. They wouldn't tell me why, except for me gran, she said somefin' about her wanting everythin' that happened to remain confidential. That's why I wasn't able ta write any of you lot, it wasn't cos I wanted ta run away from any of you... I wasn't even allowed ta go outside." Gem's face had been deprived of much emotion, except for the faint franticness his eyes held often. "Some dark shit is afoot in e' Stuart bloodline, and they won't tell me what it is. After e' died, though, 'bout two weeks later, that's when I came back."

He let Rafael take it in a bit, it was a lot to process, he knew it. He hoped there was closure, at least, but he hadn't taken much time to look at his face. He spit the cigarette out on the grass, leaning back against the tree, waiting for any sort of reaction; he'd be fine with just about anything, as long as Rafael didn't hate him.

OOC: bruh no it's good i love it :o))