Tatiana paced around the courtyard, her mother's and godmother's letters in her hands; debating whether or not she should accept her mother's request to spend Christmas with them. The only reason she even considered it was because she felt pity for her half-sister, fearing she would grow up not knowing that she had such an amazing ambitious older sister. Maybe they'd cross paths and Tatiana would just managed to steal a glance at what she hoped she had the most; not her mother's love, not her family accepting her — but her little sister knowing her.
She scrunched up her face, lying against the cobblestone wall, gazing across the grounds. A heavy feeling creeping onto her chest, her breathing felt harder than it was supposed to be. Life felt like it was harder than it was supposed to be. She was only eleven; why did she had to make this choice at such an early age? And it wasn't like this was just as simple as not wanting to eat breakfast, but no, this choice would decide if she wanted to know her family or not — and she did, but she was scared.
Scared that her sister would shut her out like her grandparents did; scared that she wouldn't be able to grow up together with her sister who was yet to be poisoned by her grandparents wretched and unfair beliefs; scared that she will lose her forever.
It was unfair. The girl didn't do anything. It wasn't her fault that her grandparents were too stupid enough to accept that something had to change one thing or another; now look who had to suffer. She doubted herself that they would even want to lay their eyes on her after eleven years of not seeing their 'tainted' and so called 'mistake' of a granddaughter; they barely even did when she was barely a few hours old anyways. So what was even the point? She was so sure that they would poison her sister's perspective no matter how hard she begged and bled. She might as well give up now.
But there was still an unexplained stinging in her heart; almost as if she was yearning for something she knew she couldn't have. Her heart felt heavy, her chest felt heavy, her whole body felt heavy — God, just please give me a sign. Looking up at the sky, she bit her lip, the sun shining against her eyes. Was that the answer she was looking for?
WC: 414
@Ekaterina Varganova
Reupload because mention didn't work
