Arms Unfolding
It was 6:15AM, and Flash waited by the doors to the Great Hall, uncharacteristically nervous and fretting. Most days he was able to keep his misgivings in check, even banishing them altogether for a sense of false confidence. This morning however was one that made it hard to go to bed the night before. All evening the day prior he had run hundreds of scenarios through his head, thinking about what he would say. How to use his words properly to express himself, in a way Willow would understand.
Not too many days ago, he thought she was better off without him. Perhaps it was still true, but his desire to return to her friendship was a siren call he couldn’t ignore. Even if in the end they weren’t meant to ever be in the same place they occupied before, he didn’t want her to think what she had done for him in that time was useless. She had opened his eyes to the possibilities that friendship brought with it. When he thought about it in that context, he realized Willow was the first real friend he ever made. He owed her a lot for that alone.
So he arrived absurdly early, as soon as curfew allowed at 6AM, and had been pacing around the courtyard ever since. The blackbirds sang cheerfully to keep him company, the only other creature nearby that dared to be awake at such an hour. He imagined they were trying to encourage him. Only a week ago, he and Willow would spend most days going on morning walks together, meeting at 6:30AM.
The tea that she made him-- he remembered it fondly-- was called lapsang souchong. It had a very distinctive taste-- liking drinking a campfire made of pine wood. When he thought of the first smell of the tea in the morning, it reminded him of Willow and the campfire that they shared together. How she had said she wanted him to meet her family. His stomach turned in anticipation of her arrival. If he wasn’t able to speak his mind with his words, what good was he at all?
Flash continued to check his watch impatiently.
@Willow Anderson
Not too many days ago, he thought she was better off without him. Perhaps it was still true, but his desire to return to her friendship was a siren call he couldn’t ignore. Even if in the end they weren’t meant to ever be in the same place they occupied before, he didn’t want her to think what she had done for him in that time was useless. She had opened his eyes to the possibilities that friendship brought with it. When he thought about it in that context, he realized Willow was the first real friend he ever made. He owed her a lot for that alone.
So he arrived absurdly early, as soon as curfew allowed at 6AM, and had been pacing around the courtyard ever since. The blackbirds sang cheerfully to keep him company, the only other creature nearby that dared to be awake at such an hour. He imagined they were trying to encourage him. Only a week ago, he and Willow would spend most days going on morning walks together, meeting at 6:30AM.
The tea that she made him-- he remembered it fondly-- was called lapsang souchong. It had a very distinctive taste-- liking drinking a campfire made of pine wood. When he thought of the first smell of the tea in the morning, it reminded him of Willow and the campfire that they shared together. How she had said she wanted him to meet her family. His stomach turned in anticipation of her arrival. If he wasn’t able to speak his mind with his words, what good was he at all?
Flash continued to check his watch impatiently.
@Willow Anderson
Last edited by Flash Holmwood on 27 Mar 2020, 13:02, edited 1 time in total.
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
Arms Unfolding
Interacting with @Flash Holmwood
Color Code: #259986
Willow had sat in the Hufflepuff common room for too long, letting her kettle whistle for enough time to upset those who were around just waking up for the morning. The hot water was ready to go, but she wasn't. She hadn't received an owl back from Flash which meant he wanted to talk to her, and it terrified her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to give him a chance to explain. How would she know if he was playing games or being honest? She would have to trust him, and that was the most terrifying thought of all. She slowly pulled the kettle off and prepared the tea that she and Flash always had. She switched hers out with a special combination for calming that her mother often gave her before tests at school. She felt like this was high stress enough to warrant this special tea. She kept his the same as promised in her letter.
She was already running late with how slow she was moving, but luckily the Hufflepuff dorm wasn't too far away from where they met. She had her hair tied half up and half down just in case tears started running again, which she expected, so she wouldn't have to worry about wet hair clinging to her face. She took a shaky breath to steady herself and her hands and started walking towards their normal meeting spot. She almost turned around so many times, almost ran back to her dorm room but she kept going.
Her stomach was turning in a million knots that she didn't know could exist, yet when she saw him already waiting for her a familiar calm quieted everything just for a moment. She missed this routine so much, she missed him so much. She shook her head to try and rid the thought, she had to stay clear headed and unbiased if she were to be able to figure out if Flash were to tell the truth to her today. She only hoped he hadn't been able to read through the scribbles on top of that sentence that she regretfully wrote. She should've just started a new letter, but she knew if she took the time to rewrite it she might never send it.
A stiff smile was placed on her face, "Hey.. Flash. Here's your tea." Her actions felt mechanical and planned, rather than fluid and free like they normally were around him. Her eyes drifted to his wrist where the bracelets still sat, she wanted to know so badly why he kept them there but she figured she'd get her answer in due time. She moved to leave the Great Hall and head out on their typical route. "I hear it's supposed to be a nice day today." She didn't want to interrogate him right away, she wanted to give him time to maybe start the hard conversation himself since she dreaded it in the first place.
"I don't know whether to cry or scream or do both. It feels like I've done more than enough of both. And it feels like I haven't done enough." - Mason Deaver
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Arms Unfolding
Flash nearly panicked when he heard the approaching footsteps, but he corrected himself and stood still. Watching her approach, he could tell she was just about as nervous as he was. It almost made him feel better. She missed him too. He repeated the scribbled out words in his head, but they arrived hand-in-hand with the words she had said. You didn’t ever care… pulled me in to take advantage of me… all the hours you wasted in my life, you don’t deserve a second of my time… He remembered everything, vividly.
But something had changed, Ross had talked to her. Granted, he didn’t have confirmation of that, but the events did line up. When he thought about it, he imagined it must have been an interesting scene. He had never seen the two interacting before, but by knowing them, he couldn’t help but see Ross doing something completely perplexing and running through an explanation without thinking what he was going to say ahead of time. Of course, even as hurt as she was, Willow was unlikely to distrust another Hufflepuff. Ross also had a way of being very… disarming.
She handed him his drink and he took it right away. ”Thank you.” He brought it to his face to smell it, in the cold morning air, the steam was visible long into its journey into the atmosphere, beading condensation on his upper lip as it floated around his face. A wonderful smell, kicking him back into the present. He couldn’t have reservations any more, this was an important meeting, and he intended to do it properly.
”You’re right. The sky is clear and the wind is even.” Flash stated basic observations, not at all interested in delaying the inevitable conversation. Delays were meant to account for unpreparedness, but he was prepared. ”Let’s walk, it will make it easier to talk about what happened. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
I missed you too.
The routine of the walk was already soothing the tension he held in his shoulders. He relaxed them, starting on the path he usually took with Willow. It was one that went past the most greenery. He could have gone into a long diatribe, describing every excuse he could think of in the last week, but instead it was better to open the floor to her first. There were certainly things that were far more important for her than he could have answered on pure assumption.
@Willow Anderson
But something had changed, Ross had talked to her. Granted, he didn’t have confirmation of that, but the events did line up. When he thought about it, he imagined it must have been an interesting scene. He had never seen the two interacting before, but by knowing them, he couldn’t help but see Ross doing something completely perplexing and running through an explanation without thinking what he was going to say ahead of time. Of course, even as hurt as she was, Willow was unlikely to distrust another Hufflepuff. Ross also had a way of being very… disarming.
She handed him his drink and he took it right away. ”Thank you.” He brought it to his face to smell it, in the cold morning air, the steam was visible long into its journey into the atmosphere, beading condensation on his upper lip as it floated around his face. A wonderful smell, kicking him back into the present. He couldn’t have reservations any more, this was an important meeting, and he intended to do it properly.
”You’re right. The sky is clear and the wind is even.” Flash stated basic observations, not at all interested in delaying the inevitable conversation. Delays were meant to account for unpreparedness, but he was prepared. ”Let’s walk, it will make it easier to talk about what happened. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
I missed you too.
The routine of the walk was already soothing the tension he held in his shoulders. He relaxed them, starting on the path he usually took with Willow. It was one that went past the most greenery. He could have gone into a long diatribe, describing every excuse he could think of in the last week, but instead it was better to open the floor to her first. There were certainly things that were far more important for her than he could have answered on pure assumption.
@Willow Anderson
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
Arms Unfolding
Interacting with @Flash Holmwood
She watched his every move as he took the tea and smelled it, she couldn't make eye contact with him. More so, she refused to. She was still worried that this would be the time he would end it all, or prove everything she thought that could go wrong was correct. As if he was savoring the last moments before the true end. She wanted to watch his hands and arms, worried that he would grab her and hurt her. It's how it always went for her. First they start off destroying you emotionally, then physically. From the inside out. Once there's nothing left on the inside it's especially easy to cave in. She felt bad falling into her only mildly old defense mechanisms, since something in her told her Flash would never lay a hand on her like that but she could never be too safe.
As they stepped outside he passed the floor back to her, something she wasn't exactly happy about. She wanted him to fight for her, but maybe he was letting her set the pace and finally verbalize everything that had been swirling on her mind. She couldn't even begin to take the vicious accusations and questions and put them outwards, especially in a calm and rational manner. She hadn't felt calm or rational since all of this started. She kept her eyes on her feet, staying silent for probably an uncomfortable amount of time. She opened her mouth a couple times but closed it.
She wanted to start with the friendship bracelets but there was so much to come before that. She finally lifted her head and spoke, looking straight ahead of her. She spoke as if she was speaking to a classmate looking for the answer to number three, rather than a friend who she missed so desperately. She had to be numb to survive this and keep her best judgement about her. "Why, I want to know why." She knew that was too vague and quickly spoke again, faltering on the formality at the beginning but regaining it just as fast as she lost it. "What's your end game with me. Why act like my friend, what did you have to gain from me. I didn't have a journal like Ross, you took nothing from me except knowledge about plants, myself, and family. What were you going to do with that information. Why sacrifice and risk getting a detention for me? Why me?" Her voice cracked at the end, a question that constantly ached in her mind throughout her experiences.
She took a deep breath to gather the strength to look at him as he answered, he was under a careful watch and she needed him to know it.
"I don't know whether to cry or scream or do both. It feels like I've done more than enough of both. And it feels like I haven't done enough." - Mason Deaver
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Arms Unfolding
Such a difficult opening question. There was too much to try to explain. He could hardly shout ‘objection’ and motion for misrepresentation of character. From the very beginning her frame of reference was still somewhere off on another planet. There was a fundamental misunderstanding, but even that came from a sort of truth. It was like a tangled mass of yarn, so Flash started pulling out each string to look at each part individually. Even monumental tasks started by taking a few steps forward.
To begin with, she had heard from both Ruka and Ross. They must have been personal accounts of Flash’s behavior and actions. Even though he was woefully uninformed about Ruka’s intention for anything he did, he didn’t consider either of them to be the type to outright lie. Perhaps embellish, but colorful language often came hand-in-hand with bruised feelings.
Flash had to say something before Willow thought he was freezing up again. ”I understand if you don’t believe it now… but the truth is that never wanted anything from you, besides your company.” It was a useless statement without any proof, but it was at least something.
The way Ruka talked, he looked for flaws in your argument so he knew where to apply the pressure and poke holes in your story. And once he pierced through, he twisted the knife. He could understand how easy it would have been for Ruka to take a step too far and set Willow off. She said she punched him because she thought he was lying. About Flash, and what kind of person he was.
He honestly hated to imagine Ruka talking about him behind his back. The things he said to his face were bad enough. Had Willow really resorted to violence to defend his honor? No, it had to have been something else. Insisting, prodding, pushing… like a bully. Willow was still a very gentle soul at heart, even though she bristled with strength and confidence on the outside. Even to Flash, who had never so much as stood too close to her unless invited, she kept a watchful eye on his movements.
She had written it off that she had been bullied when she was younger, mentioning it casually in conversation, but the words she spoke one she thought Flash was out to get her were more revealing than anything else up to that point. You were always one of them. She wasn’t convinced by Ruka that Flash was going to hurt her-- it was a fear she had inside her all along.
Translating the intentions of the heart into words was a messy business. He knew he would never hurt Willow intentionally, but it wasn’t as if he wasn’t capable. Arguably, he had already hurt her a great deal. He couldn’t even know for sure himself, was it not possible that he might need to hurt Willow someday, if it was the right thing to do?
”I was never out to get you. I was never someone else around you. But I did… hide the truth from you. I… I’m sorry. After what I said at the greenhouse, you must think I’m a terrible hypocrite. Well… I am.” Flash had lost track of his pace a bit as he talked, so often discussing everything to himself before he put it into words. He realized he was walking a bit too fast and slowed down. ”I hid because I didn’t want you to hate me. It was not for anything noble or justified. For me you were an escape from all of that. So I guess I was using you… to run away from all the mistakes I was making.”
Well, it was an admission of guilt, whether he liked it or not, he had to face up to it. Once he had started to go around and apologize, things had been chaos all over, and the reactions varied wildly. Some were glad to rub his face in it, while others talked as if they weren’t sure what he was trying to apologize for. He wasn’t sure brutal honesty was what Willow wanted, but it was what he had to offer.
”But I wasn’t pretending to be your friend. Before I met you, I didn’t even know how to be a friend. I’m… trying to figure it out.”
He needed to know Willow’s feelings before deciding on how to further explain himself. Instead of rambling on and on, he needed to take cues from her reactions to know if anything he said struck a chord. It seemed to him that even when he was being completely open and honest, people were never perfectly satisfied with the words that he chose. He continued to sort through the mass of tangled strings, feeling out for where the knots were so that he could untie them.
@Willow Anderson
To begin with, she had heard from both Ruka and Ross. They must have been personal accounts of Flash’s behavior and actions. Even though he was woefully uninformed about Ruka’s intention for anything he did, he didn’t consider either of them to be the type to outright lie. Perhaps embellish, but colorful language often came hand-in-hand with bruised feelings.
Flash had to say something before Willow thought he was freezing up again. ”I understand if you don’t believe it now… but the truth is that never wanted anything from you, besides your company.” It was a useless statement without any proof, but it was at least something.
The way Ruka talked, he looked for flaws in your argument so he knew where to apply the pressure and poke holes in your story. And once he pierced through, he twisted the knife. He could understand how easy it would have been for Ruka to take a step too far and set Willow off. She said she punched him because she thought he was lying. About Flash, and what kind of person he was.
He honestly hated to imagine Ruka talking about him behind his back. The things he said to his face were bad enough. Had Willow really resorted to violence to defend his honor? No, it had to have been something else. Insisting, prodding, pushing… like a bully. Willow was still a very gentle soul at heart, even though she bristled with strength and confidence on the outside. Even to Flash, who had never so much as stood too close to her unless invited, she kept a watchful eye on his movements.
She had written it off that she had been bullied when she was younger, mentioning it casually in conversation, but the words she spoke one she thought Flash was out to get her were more revealing than anything else up to that point. You were always one of them. She wasn’t convinced by Ruka that Flash was going to hurt her-- it was a fear she had inside her all along.
Translating the intentions of the heart into words was a messy business. He knew he would never hurt Willow intentionally, but it wasn’t as if he wasn’t capable. Arguably, he had already hurt her a great deal. He couldn’t even know for sure himself, was it not possible that he might need to hurt Willow someday, if it was the right thing to do?
”I was never out to get you. I was never someone else around you. But I did… hide the truth from you. I… I’m sorry. After what I said at the greenhouse, you must think I’m a terrible hypocrite. Well… I am.” Flash had lost track of his pace a bit as he talked, so often discussing everything to himself before he put it into words. He realized he was walking a bit too fast and slowed down. ”I hid because I didn’t want you to hate me. It was not for anything noble or justified. For me you were an escape from all of that. So I guess I was using you… to run away from all the mistakes I was making.”
Well, it was an admission of guilt, whether he liked it or not, he had to face up to it. Once he had started to go around and apologize, things had been chaos all over, and the reactions varied wildly. Some were glad to rub his face in it, while others talked as if they weren’t sure what he was trying to apologize for. He wasn’t sure brutal honesty was what Willow wanted, but it was what he had to offer.
”But I wasn’t pretending to be your friend. Before I met you, I didn’t even know how to be a friend. I’m… trying to figure it out.”
He needed to know Willow’s feelings before deciding on how to further explain himself. Instead of rambling on and on, he needed to take cues from her reactions to know if anything he said struck a chord. It seemed to him that even when he was being completely open and honest, people were never perfectly satisfied with the words that he chose. He continued to sort through the mass of tangled strings, feeling out for where the knots were so that he could untie them.
@Willow Anderson
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
Arms Unfolding
Interacting with @Flash Holmwood
The silences felt loud, like they were screaming out a thousand words they wanted to say to each other but couldn't. Their silences had always been comfortable until now, and it was an unwelcome change in their ever shifting dynamic. She anxiously sipped her tea, waiting for an answer. As he spoke she felt like she was clambering on monkey bars, clinging to every word he spoke with desperation, not wanting to fall again.
He just wanted her.
She finally looked at his face, searching for a hint of deceit, of a betrayal lurking beneath the surface. But there was nothing in sight. It was hard to believe that someone just wanted to company, especially someone she had held in such high regard in her head. She could be annoying, reckless, and hot-headed. But he had seen all of those sides and he was still willing to stay by her side. Even now, as she begged him to redeem himself. She suddenly felt incredibly bad for putting him through this, but she had to. She wanted to make sure he wasn't out to get her.
She matched his changing pace without thinking. Her body was moving for her as her brain worked overtime to keep up and analyze. She wasn't good at analyzing people, she never tried to. To analyze people so intensely would find all of those tiny flaws that she didn't feel were fair to pick at, but here she was picking. White lies were still lies. He was still using her in some sense of the word. But in the end, wasn't she using him? She was using him to believe that she could be loved, that someone would want her. Proving to her that she was a worthwhile person, and she was punishing him for not fulfilling that expectation that she had. But she just couldn't let go of something, and she couldn't figure out what it was.
She didn't know how to be a friend either, so who was she to put Flash under such high standards for behavior. She stopped suddenly, turning to him. She wanted to face him directly. Granted, he was much taller than her so that was a bit difficult to do. "I don't know how to be a friend either. You were the first person I ever let in like that. I thought we were finding out together. But still.." She paused, wondering how to phrase this. He still had hurt others like Ross and Ruka. Just because he didn't do the things he did to them, to her, didn't make it ok. "That doesn't excuse what you've done to others. I didn't... see you as capable as doing those types of things and," A shaky breath broke her speech, her facade was broken as tears built up once again. "I'm scared, Flash. I'm scared that just because you're not using me now, doesn't mean you won't later. I've spent so much time being scared of the people around me, I can't have you be one of them too." She looked down, hands tightly wound around her mug.
Her voice came out as a whisper when she spoke next, "I miss you. I miss these walks, I miss talking to you, I miss knowing I had someone to take care of me. I missed feeling like I was worth something." She looked back up at him, tears silently falling from her eyes. "But I'm also so scared of you, because of how much of myself I've given you. You hold so much of me in the palm of your hands and you don't even know it. I'm scared that one day you're just going to let go when you figure out that I'm not worth it.." She had always tied her worth so intrinsically to the people around her, it was dangerous but they were knots that she tied without looking, without knowing. She wanted to keep Flash thinking all the wonderful things about her, but she felt like a fraud knowing that he wasn't the only one telling white lies.
"I don't know whether to cry or scream or do both. It feels like I've done more than enough of both. And it feels like I haven't done enough." - Mason Deaver
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Arms Unfolding
Willow looked at him as he talked, eventually turning to face him completely. They hadn’t walked far from the courtyard at all yet, but already they were out in the open air, the distance dotted with misty treetops. Her face looked perplexed, but at least it wasn’t anger. She started with sympathy, saying he too was the first person she had let in. It was hard to believe at first, but it also made so much sense. Willow didn’t like to dwell on negative things, part of her appeal was how easy it was to talk to her, and how instantly accepting she was of everyone. Flash didn’t need her to be happy and supportive all of the time, he liked Willow for everything that she was.
But she got to the heart of the issue right away, the fact that Flash had unmistakably done something Willow could never approve of. For the moment, Willow seemed willing to put aside the perception of reality she had been living in for the past week and instead question his moral fortitude. It was a fair question, the kind that Flash was actually prepared for. She seemed nervous to even be asking, scared of the idea that Flash was never who he said he was, that he was a stranger to her. He had been thinking long and hard about why things had turned out the way they had.
”I understand why you feel that way. You have every right to.” Flash was keeping a straight face, and he spoke with deadly seriousness. This was incredibly important to him. ”I don’t care how long it takes to earn back your trust, but I intend to. The way I treated people was… shortsighted. I thought the ends justified the means, I didn’t see what I was doing wrong until it was too late.”
Flash’s expression changed then, as the word he spoke caught up to him. Pained. Losing Willow had made him feel so lonely it was painful. Seeing her suffer because of him was painful. It had been a rude awakening.
”But it was wrong. Losing you made me realize that. The friendship that we were building… I cherished it. I didn’t know something like that… was an option.” Flash’s confidence quickly started to deteriorate, so he took a swig of his tea to recuperate. It’s bold flavor kicked him back into his senses. This time, his voice was clear. ”I’m not a cowardly person, my word is my bond. And if you’ll have me, I promise to cherish you forever. I know no one more deserving.”
@Willow Anderson
But she got to the heart of the issue right away, the fact that Flash had unmistakably done something Willow could never approve of. For the moment, Willow seemed willing to put aside the perception of reality she had been living in for the past week and instead question his moral fortitude. It was a fair question, the kind that Flash was actually prepared for. She seemed nervous to even be asking, scared of the idea that Flash was never who he said he was, that he was a stranger to her. He had been thinking long and hard about why things had turned out the way they had.
”I understand why you feel that way. You have every right to.” Flash was keeping a straight face, and he spoke with deadly seriousness. This was incredibly important to him. ”I don’t care how long it takes to earn back your trust, but I intend to. The way I treated people was… shortsighted. I thought the ends justified the means, I didn’t see what I was doing wrong until it was too late.”
Flash’s expression changed then, as the word he spoke caught up to him. Pained. Losing Willow had made him feel so lonely it was painful. Seeing her suffer because of him was painful. It had been a rude awakening.
”But it was wrong. Losing you made me realize that. The friendship that we were building… I cherished it. I didn’t know something like that… was an option.” Flash’s confidence quickly started to deteriorate, so he took a swig of his tea to recuperate. It’s bold flavor kicked him back into his senses. This time, his voice was clear. ”I’m not a cowardly person, my word is my bond. And if you’ll have me, I promise to cherish you forever. I know no one more deserving.”
@Willow Anderson
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
Arms Unfolding
Interacting with @Flash Holmwood
Flash seemed to be saying all the right things, everything she wished he would've said on that awful night when she confronted him in the first place. The loud voice that had been screaming at her not to trust him over the past week, to run far away and never look back had been largely quieted by the return of the sense of calm and peace she always felt while around him. They could come back from this and she knew it, they both wanted to work towards it.
Fighting for her trust back wouldn't end up being a fight between Willow and Flash, but rather Willow and herself. She had spent so long distrusting of others if they weren't her family, but Flash was family. He had been since the first time they met. She felt like maybe she had a responsibility to tell him what he was working against, finally come clean and tell someone about the things she faced back home fully and truly. The Slytherin boy she so despised and Ruka had experienced a heavy glimpse into it when they found her in an empty classroom during the party. She had opened up to them a little bit about it, but this would be the first time she just told someone plainly what she went through. The first time she would actively give them the weapons that had always been used against her, but she needed to hand them off to someone so she didn't have to carry them alone.
His last words were the ones that struck her, and ultimately were the last hit to break down that walls that she had hurriedly had to keep putting back up in the last week. "I promise to cherish you forever. I know no one more deserving." Her breath got caught in her throat, she was ready for more pain thrown her way but not kindness. She was never ready for the kindness, especially not like this that sang her praises so high. Against everything she told herself she wouldn't do on this morning walk... She gently put her tea next to her on the ground, then pulled him into a hug.
Her arms wrapped around his waist, her head landing square on his chest. She was able to hear and feel his breathing and heartbeat. It made her feel even closer to him in a way, hearing something that so intricately connected everybody, life. She felt the energy of life flowing between them as if completing a circle that was essential to her continuing to breathe. She held him tightly, afraid that if she were to let go he would disintegrate in front of her proving this was all some fever dream that she had imagined of someone genuinely caring about her. "I'd rather have no one by my side but you, Flash."
She recognized that they still had so much to talk about on this walk. They couldn't go back to how they were before, things were different now but also they were stronger than before. She wanted to stay in this moment for just a little bit, feeling the piece that had been missing from her in this past week click back into place. She could've stayed like this for hours.
Eventually she slowly let go, the cool morning breeze immediately hitting her where the warmth of him just was. She picked her tea back up from the ground, her eyes moving to her final question. "I was so mean to you Flash... and I'm sorry. I should've talked to you, I was just so angry, and hurt, and scared. That doesn't justify all the things I said to you. But after all that, you kept the bracelet. Why?" If Flash had done the same thing to her she would've immediately thrown it out never to look at it again, but every time she saw him he was wearing both bracelets. It perplexed her, but at this point she realized she had a lot to learn about Flash and this was just the first step.
"I don't know whether to cry or scream or do both. It feels like I've done more than enough of both. And it feels like I haven't done enough." - Mason Deaver
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Arms Unfolding
After he finished talking, Willow wrapped her arms around him tightly, a movement he wasn’t unfamiliar with, but still unprepared for. He was prepared for her to give up on him, or accept his apology and leave on good terms. It seemed instead that she had been waiting to jump back into his arms like a loaded spring.
It almost frightened him. Had he convinced her to return to him for the right reasons? Wasn’t it selfish to want to be so close to Willow, when he had no intention of letting go of his quest for power? He couldn’t withdraw now, they were connected for better or for worse.
He held her back in return, her small stature making it so he leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his head on hers. They stayed that way for a while, squeezing with a force that spoke of the pain they were letting go. Flash felt for a moment that she might crush his ribs before she relented and let her vice grip go.
Then as she continued to talk, she implied that she had done something wrong. Flash wanted to protest, but he couldn’t put his finger on why the statement bothered him so much. He thought it was obvious that everything had been his fault. Someone in his position wasn’t supposed to ‘find family’ with a girl from school, he was supposed to stay in his lane and form meaningful business relationships.
With his feelings for Willow, and the loss he felt when she was gone, he knew he couldn’t live a life without love. Somehow, without realizing it, he had become so covetous of it that it nearly drove him mad with sorrow. He needed people, and without them, he would crumble into nothing. Love was the cornerstone of truly understanding someone-- without love, their truth could never be seen.
Then, she asked about the bracelets. Flash had hardly given it much thought, it was just something he did. He couldn’t let her bracelet just fall to the ground, or into the trash. She had worked so hard on it, picking out the colors, she had even said as much. She was likely doubting herself, thinking he hadn’t cared at all about the trouble she went through. He was realizing more and more that Willow kept many of her real feelings hidden.
”It is important. I wanted to keep it safe.” Flash didn’t know how else to explain what seemed so fundamentally obvious to him. There was another feeling too, that he had wanted to feel Willow close by, but he thought saying that might come off as a bit obsessive, or sad. ”I took good care of it, do you want it back?”
@Willow Anderson
It almost frightened him. Had he convinced her to return to him for the right reasons? Wasn’t it selfish to want to be so close to Willow, when he had no intention of letting go of his quest for power? He couldn’t withdraw now, they were connected for better or for worse.
He held her back in return, her small stature making it so he leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his head on hers. They stayed that way for a while, squeezing with a force that spoke of the pain they were letting go. Flash felt for a moment that she might crush his ribs before she relented and let her vice grip go.
Then as she continued to talk, she implied that she had done something wrong. Flash wanted to protest, but he couldn’t put his finger on why the statement bothered him so much. He thought it was obvious that everything had been his fault. Someone in his position wasn’t supposed to ‘find family’ with a girl from school, he was supposed to stay in his lane and form meaningful business relationships.
With his feelings for Willow, and the loss he felt when she was gone, he knew he couldn’t live a life without love. Somehow, without realizing it, he had become so covetous of it that it nearly drove him mad with sorrow. He needed people, and without them, he would crumble into nothing. Love was the cornerstone of truly understanding someone-- without love, their truth could never be seen.
Then, she asked about the bracelets. Flash had hardly given it much thought, it was just something he did. He couldn’t let her bracelet just fall to the ground, or into the trash. She had worked so hard on it, picking out the colors, she had even said as much. She was likely doubting herself, thinking he hadn’t cared at all about the trouble she went through. He was realizing more and more that Willow kept many of her real feelings hidden.
”It is important. I wanted to keep it safe.” Flash didn’t know how else to explain what seemed so fundamentally obvious to him. There was another feeling too, that he had wanted to feel Willow close by, but he thought saying that might come off as a bit obsessive, or sad. ”I took good care of it, do you want it back?”
@Willow Anderson
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
Arms Unfolding
Interacting with @Flash Holmwood
TW: Salem Witch Trial relevant bullying + knife mention
Her head nodded slowly as he asked if she wanted it back, the emptiness on her wrist had felt like a harsh wound that wouldn't close. She gently slipped it back onto her wrist, a great feeling of relief washing over her. They could work past this. But she had to come clean, no matter how much she didn't want to. She had realized how much of a hypocrite she had been towards Flash, criticizing him for hiding so much when she had done the same. He was fighting an uphill battle with her and he didn't know.
She took a quick look around the courtyard, making sure there was still no one else around. There were rarely students that were awake at this hour, but she didn't want anyone to hear this. She slowly began walking their path again, she wouldn't be able to look at him when she told him everything. The fear creeping back up that he would use the information against her, that he would be ashamed of her for being so weak just like people assumed Hufflepuffs to be. The trust that came with telling him this was almost insurmountable. Both her hands were wrapped around her mug, focusing on the warmth that spread through her hands and trying to pull that warmth through her body to stay focused.
"I've uh.. recently learned some things from Jack and Ruka, about myself. After the party I had a breakdown and thought I was back home. I know I mentioned being bullied before, but it was..." She shook her head not being able to think of to describe everything she had gone through in her childhood, where did she even begin? "They helped me out of it, but the feeling of being back home terrified me and the fact that those feelings can be replicated here is even scarier. It started when I was around six. My family are outspoken witches, they don't hide it and I kind of resent my family for it." She cringed, it was the first time she had openly spoken ill about her family, normally painting them in a light of warmth and happiness just like she did for herself.
"Everyone in the town knew, they would talk about us and whisper. The kids would tease me. Only ever verbally, I mean they weren't clever about it but it still hurt. As we got older it stayed verbal, no one ever laid a hand on me really except for pushing me around occasionally. Until some kid found a book in school about witchcraft when we were 9. It talked about the witch trials in Salem, and how they would find out people were witches." Images of the things the boys put her through flashed through her head, and she made an audible noise of pain just at the memory. She couldn't breakdown. Not now. Not here.
She took another deep breath, but one of her hands and left her mug and found his. She needed to rely on him, just for a moment to get through this. "I don't know how much you know about the witch trials but the ways they tested to see if people were witches was pretty awful. That's... that's when it got physical. They found me one day walking home in the forest and held me down and burned me. They would do that once or twice a week... But then they got more creative. Recreating the other ways they tested witches. At some point I had rocks and logs stacked on my chest to see if I would suffocate, they would try and see if I could breathe underwater, they looked for a witch's mark." Her grip tightened for a moment on Flash's hand, constantly needing to reign herself in so she wouldn't fall to the darkness that was creeping from the back of her mind.
She had never talked about this, even with Jack and Ruka she didn't talk about the burning for that long, let alone the rest of what they did to her. It was proving even more difficult than she thought it would be. Silence fell over them as she tried to figure out where to go next with her story... "I was always scared as a kid... looking around every corner for them. Especially Xavier, he was the worst of them all. When I had the opportunity to come to Hogwarts I thought it would be a chance for me to start over, that people would be better and that I wouldn't have to worry anymore. I thought I could believe I was safe. That's why I freaked out, when I found out that you might be capable of doing the same things. I ran because I didn't want to stick around and see if you were different. I should've stayed. I should've talked to you, but I didn't want to be hurt again like that." Tears quickly sprang free despite how much she hated crying lately. She almost wanted to hug Flash again, but she needed to just keep going.
Her mind flashed to what happened a few days before she came back from winter break, as if the death of her grandmother hadn't been enough... The boys had been bloodthirsty, her wounds were still healing from that one. She still didn't want to tell anyone, but they had given her a permanent reminder of what they thought of her. These boys were cruel and downright evil, but she wanted to tell someone. She wanted to be free of carrying this alone. Her eyes were fixed solely on the ground, her hand tightening as she spoke next, her voice shaking so much it could barely be understood. "They wrote the word 'witch' into my back before I came back. I went on a walk while I was home over break and they found me..." She had to stop to breathe, she had to control herself. "They held me down... but instead of burning me they did that. I don't... I don't know if it's going to be permanent I haven't been able to take care of it like I usually do with these things... But I know it's there. I can't... I didn't want to risk letting someone in if they could start small with manipulation. That's where it started with me at home. I didn't want to wait for you to hurt me more. So I ran away. I'm sorry, I should've... You haven't been the only one hiding things I should've told you." While there was a pain aching in her, it felt like a huge relief to finally tell someone about everything she had gone through at home. Coming clean meant that Flash and Willow could take better care of each other, starting with knowing everything rather than knowing what they wanted the other to believe about them.
They had both been hiding, wanting to cling desperately onto the relationship that they found so warm and comforting. Full of a love and support that she knew she hadn't felt before. It had taken her too long to realize she had been putting up the same walls as Flash, and she couldn't fault him for that. They could only grow from it, and she hoped this time they could actually stay by each other. She hoped next time she wouldn't run.
"I don't know whether to cry or scream or do both. It feels like I've done more than enough of both. And it feels like I haven't done enough." - Mason Deaver
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15
Stamina 12 ∴ Evasion 12 ∴ Strength 5 ∴ Wisdom 12 ∵ ArcPower 10 ∵ Accuracy 15