The quilted bedspread felt like heaven against her skin. Brushing against the back of her neck, like a subtle anchor tying her to the comfort. Flat on her back, memorizing the simple patterns written on the ceiling, her eyes traced a map of how it looked. She never wanted to forget that moment. Safe. Home.
Sage sat up. The morning after Christmas Day, and a peace had fallen over Kent. She could hear Cassie downstairs, making something in the kitchen. Kora was probably watching from a distance. The last time- yesterday- she tried to help out with the cooking… Well, let’s just say it’s a good thing Cassie had her wand nearby.
Standing, her hand dropped to lift the
letter her friend
@Brookline Quinn had sent her. She’d reread it over and over and over- Still overwhelmed by the fact her dad’s correspondence had seemingly vanished recently, she swallowed hard. Had he just forgotten what he’d told her?
Her eyes flicked over the words of Brook’s letter. How was it possible to have a friend who cared more about her happiness than her own father? Her expression tightened, part of her feeling bad. She complained constantly about how she didn't hear from her father, but she never even tried
Whose fault was that?
No one else’s but her’s.
Creeping down the stairs, the wood creaking below her like a familiar metronome, she headed for the door.
“I’m going for a walk!”
She heard Cassie shout something about being back within the hour before the door slammed shut. A gray knit cap tugged over her ears protected her from the chill. Her pace was slow. Anxious. Scared that if she went too fast, the world would crumble below her feet. What a charming thought.
The trees had long lost their leaves. Part of her missed seeing them, she was only ever home when they were in full summer bloom, or in the dead of winter. By the time the divorce was settled, would she ever see the leaves out again?
The local park was empty. No surprise, most children of Kent were at home playing with whatever they’d gotten at Christmas. Sage took advantage of the emptiness, settling on one of the swings. She kicked gently, rocking through the air. Did she ever go to a park like that with her mum?
Time seemed to fly past easily. The snow on the ground glistened as the sun rose higher as noon came. On the road near the park, a car drove past the otherwise empty town. For a second, a shiver drove itself over Sage’s skin. She calmed after a second. While similar to Christopher’s car, it was a common enough car.
Her feelings were common enough.
Before long, Sage was on the road back home. Kicking at small patches of the snow coating the ground, Sage’s mind flew back to the DVD copy of that movie Christopher had gotten her last year. It was still somewhere buried in her room, even though she knew she had no way of watching it since Cassie had no DVD player.
And then time stopped.
Just a handful of feet from the house, the car was parked there.
No.
Her heart caught in her throat, hammering through her body. He couldn’t be there. He was supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be gone. Her body refused to move, anchoring her to the ground. It didn’t matter how cold the air around her got, nothing would move.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she went inside, but she finally convinced herself to move. Maybe it was just an unfortunate coincidence. She was probably overreacting.
God no, she wasn’t.
Cassie was in her usual chair, laughing like she’d never separated from her husband. Kora was smiling, like this man was suddenly her dad. And he was there. Making Cassie smile like a perfect husband, making Kora smile wider than she had in years.
And Sage was simply frozen. She didn’t laugh, or smile, or act like she was part of this facade in any way. Not until Cassie caught her eye, that was. Sage took notice of how tense her shoulders were, how fake the laugh sounded.
“Sage. Come in.”
Sage opened her mouth, unable to form words. She turned to see a huge pile of papers overflowing on the kitchen table. She took in a deep breath, but the air didn’t seem to reach her. Horrified expression, stuck in this world full of loss and love that didn’t feel real.
This was the end of it all.
Sharp pains tore through her chest like bullets. She lifted a hand to her sternum, to feel the pain. She half expected blood to come away when she pulled her fingertips away. Christopher’s eyes were far emptier than she remembered. Was every ounce of love in him gone?
“I don’t want you here anymore,” she whispered, finally managing to catch her breath.
“This- This isn’t your life anymore.”
God, she wished she was wrong.
“Come on, Sage, don’t be stubborn.” That time it was him speaking.
“We have a lot to talk about.”
“Yeah, stuff that must’ve been too hard to put in a letter, huh?”
“Sage-”
“No!” She covered her ears, like that would stop the sound of sirens trying to force her hand.
“I don’t want to hear it! I thought we were done with this! I thought we were finished fighting! Why are you even here? You don’t care!”
“Sage!”
She hadn’t even noticed Cassie had moved in front of her, leaning down to hold steady eye contact. Sage was shaking, terrified of whatever news was to be delivered. This was the end.
“It’s okay. I just figured this would be better to talk about in-person, yeah? We all knew this was coming eventually.”
Hands on Sage’s shoulders guided her to the kitchen, helped her in a seat. Her entire body was numb. The feeling of Kora squeezing her hand was nearly lost to her senses. Christopher’s eyes bored into hers, like he was waiting for her to tell him her choice.
“We’ve been meeting with lawyers, trying to figure out the situation, figure out what works best for you both. The main goal has been stability, this situation-”
Sage cut Cassie off before she could continue.
“Call it divorce. Not a ‘situation.’”
Cassie nodded, swallowed.
“Divorce. Yeah. Well, uh… We think we’ve come to an agreement.”
Christopher took over the explanation.
“Cassie will have primary custody. I’ll see you both for a month over the summer and for the Christmas break from school.”
Silence.
Several long, painstaking moments passed before Kora spoke.
“Even me?”
“Yes, even you.”
Sage looked between them.
“So… it’ll just be like last year just… As a legally binding agreement?”
“Exactly. And if, for whatever reason, Cassie is no longer fit to be a main caregiver, I will take custody.”
“Really, our focus was keeping you both comfortable. Kora may be my biological daughter, but Christopher has been in her life, acting as her father, for… Well, for a majority of her life. And Sage, this reality is the norm for you. We didn’t want to disrupt your life.”
None of the words seemed to click in her mind. Just the fact that life as she knew it was never going to be the same. Even with Cassie as her primary guardian, so much of that time would be taken due to school. The time with her father felt forced, planned, but in the worst way.
She’d lost the war.
“Sage?” A hand waved in front of her face.
“Do you understand what’s happening? Are you okay? I mean, there’s still a bit to go before everything is final, but…”
Sage’s strength in the moment challenged that of Goliath. Even as her face resembled what you could imagine shattered glass to look like as a person, she nodded, breath shaking in empty patterns.
I thought I was free of this.
Shipwrecked against the rocks of her childhood room, a long scar seemed to attach itself to her heart. Everything had built to that moment, from the second Cassie joined the Willows, to the moment the door was closed and locked by her.
Everyone’s eyes were on her as she kept back a sea of curses and insults. It occurred to her then that the shade of her own brown eyes matched none of theirs.
“Trust me. I’ll be fine.”
Her voice shattered on the final note.
It’s over.
