Collision Course PV F. Holmwood Closed

Flash had ended up spending so much time at the Great Lake, even though by its very nature there was nothing to do there. It was where he had a campfire with Willow only a few days prior, and since then he had started going there more often, for apparently no reason at all. He would just wander around, as if lost. There were things he should have been doing instead. Studying, making rounds, or even jogging. There was so much that he still had to learn, but in the last few days he struggled to read more than a few pages of anything before his eyes would glaze over.

He hated his dorm room. It was dark and gloomy. He dreaded returning to it every night. The entire Slytherin student body was on edge, walking around on eggshells after having just been attacked. It seemed like no matter who he talked to, they would always demand a bit more from him than he actually had. Classes… studying… remembering the students… their interests, their dreams and aspirations, their families… figure out the pecking order… crawl forward, no matter the cost.

That was the only way. Giving any less of himself… what would be the point. Himself was all he had to give. He slept right, he ate right, but still he walked around the lake’s perimeter like a feather caught in the wind, barely moving, coaxed forward, kept aloft endlessly. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was drained. His focus waned, not focussing on anything in particular, thoughts tripping through his head trying to find purchase at the front of the line. One thing that day kept repeating, along with the annoying face attached to it. Are you having any fun trying to be the person you’re trying to be?

How irrelevant… Flash thought to himself drearily. He stared into the inky darkness of the lake, caught in its gaze. It grabbed him then, for a moment. L’appel du vide. It asked him how much easier it would be to give up completely, give up everything. He stared.

Then, shocking him into nearly a panic, a booming splash as the water jumped in response to some disturbance within. Then another, and several more. The silence was pierced by the incessant racket. Flash’s heart beat a mile a minute, having only just come back to the real world in a split second, like being ripped out of bed in the middle of the night. He searched around quickly for the noise, which was a short investigation. An older boy stood at the water’s edge, only slightly out of view because of their positions between some foliage.

Flash went to look, a short walk where he was able to mostly bring himself back together. Once he was mostly nearby, his approach was obvious, grabbing the boy’s attention. He was tall and bulky, and from the sound of the rocks smashing high speed into the water’s surface, very strong. He had a bat clutched in his hand as he turned around to look at him.

Flash was never intimidated by brute strength. He should have been, but in the few fights he got into in his last school, he never got out of it with any more than a bloody lip or a dislocated finger. His brother Darius had hurt him worse than that in the heart of ‘rough housing’ anyway, therefore he prided himself on enduring whatever came his way. With that attitude in his heart, he crossed his arms impatiently as he neared.

”Are you trying to break the sound barrier over here, or are you just trying to be as obnoxious as possible?” Flash neglected all the courtesy he had ever learned. He was just upset, on a visceral level, like the noise stirred awake the raw emotion inside of him.

@Reid Kovacs

Infuriatingly, the boy’s response implied that Flash ought to find somewhere else to be. Granted, in a better state of mind, that would likely be exactly what he would have done without being asked. Currently, however, it made him indignant to be ordered around.

He didn’t know who had been there first, but that was hardly an issue anyway, one couldn’t call dibs on an entire lake. It must not have occured to the miscreant just how much of a nuisance he was being.

”As if I couldn’t hear you from the castle itself!” Flash continued his tirade, pointing at his baseball bat. ”You could wake up the dead with the racket you’re making! Maybe you should use that thing to whack some sense into yourself, you’d be doing everyone a favor!”

The petulant anger flowed through him easily, though after it had left his mouth he was overcome by a sense of unease. He was not supposed to lose his temper, and he just had. His expression wavered, not wanting to suddenly drop it, but realizing what a mistake he was making. No matter how good it felt to yell at the pest, he was going against everything he was striving for with his reputation.

Suddenly he was back on shaky ground, wondering what had made him lose control so easily. A loud noise? Was it really so easy to rile him?

@Reid Kovacs

The argument continued, ramping up to a crescendo, and then falling back down to the earth as, somewhat simultaneously, they both realized that it was neither a worthwhile argument to have, nor a normal amount of escalation. They were both on edge for whatever reason, and it had almost been worth it just for that satisfaction of getting to yell at someone. Someone needed to pay for how he felt. But as the massive lout took the high ground, Flash could feel a pang of panic.

This didn’t look good, at all. Perhaps they didn’t know each other, but who was to say they would never see each other again? He could talk about the interaction as he pleased, before long everyone would be asking Flash what set him off, or avoiding him before they too stood too close when he blew up.

He had to avoid that possibility. He couldn’t continue to let everything he worked for that year deteriorate and blow away in the wind. He had nothing if he didn’t have his reputation. Still, how? What kind of recovery could he make when he so clearly felt vindicated in screaming at him a moment earlier? He just had to throw things at the wall and hope it worked.

”Wait…” Flash face reverted to its resting place, only his eyebrows knit in worry. ”I’m sorry, I’m the one whose acting like an idiot, you’re right.”

After he prostrated himself, he needed to make an argument for the lightening of his mood. Apology alone rarely solved a disagreement, it was just the key that opened the door to communication. He couldn’t take too long to rehearse the words, or the silence would get filled with assumptions.

”I’m upset about something else and I took it out on you. That’s an idiotic thing to do.” Something clicked in his head as he said it. ”You’re upset too, right? That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

He failed to realize by putting the two thoughts together, he was also insinuating that he, too, was an idiot. He hoped the boy would find it in himself to let that one go.

@Reid Kovacs

The boy had relented, his expression passing through a few phases before landing on, what, sadness? Regret? He did appear a few years older, so he had probably already been told a time or two to stop going off on others, let alone kids younger and smaller than he was. If it really had been regret, it could very well have been a reoccurring issue. A powder keg, volatile and easy to set off. He had at one point offered to bash Flash’s face in with a bat, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to come to that conclusion.

Flash grimaced when he flung the question back in his face, not at all wanting to answer it. It seemed that they not only had settled down at the same time, but also were both avoiding something they didn’t want to face. While he admitted that Flash was right, the blockade of having to answer his question got in the way of questioning him further. Seeing as they both came to the lake’s edge to avoid their problems, they were only digging themselves in deeper by having the misfortune to clash, getting themselves inadvertently tangled in each others’ messes.

Flash couldn’t avoid it, or distract from it, he had asked the question plainly, so anything besides an answer would be a rude diversion, and a clear sign of avoidance. Not only that, but he already admitted that he was upset, so he couldn’t suddenly backtrack on that without looking like he was trying to hide something. He had to say something.

”I fear you’ll only laugh at me if I tried to explain.” Flash resorted to revealing honesty, the last bastion when cornered. What was he supposed to say, that he was ‘tired’? He would feel completely ashamed if he had to admit what flimsy reasoning he had for his outburst. ”After all, sometimes emotions can be… irrational.”

Flash sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. Though better, it was still an admission he didn’t want to make. He had to be sure to look away when he said things like that, he would lose control over his expression if he tried to keep eye contact while being vulnerable. The fact that they didn’t know each other only made the tension in the conversation worse. Complete strangers didn’t normally talk to each other about their feelings, which made it hard to know what was alright to say. It was frankly much easier to be shouting, he almost wished they would have just started throwing punches. At least that was simpler to navigate.

”You don’t have to tell me what’s going on with you either. No need to be so solemn when we have something in common.” Flash looked back finally, a pained smile on his face. ”Maybe shouting at each other was exactly the thing we needed. You’re welcome to insult me more if you think it would help.”

Humor, that would lighten the mood.

@Reid Kovacs