your application is under review errand solo

Dear Xhosa Soliel,

Thank you for your application to PowerKing Pants. We appreciate your interest in in being a PowerKing team member. Based on your impressive resume and letters of recommendation from Pope Francis, Winston Churchill, Natasha Romanoff, Ringo Starr, Éowyn daughter of Éomund of Rohan, and Florence Pugh, we are looking forward to interviewing with you in person.
Even from simply viewing your resume and cover letter, we admire your commitment to volunteer service and the awards you have received. Being named 'Best Wearer of Ugly Christmas Jumpers' is no mean feat; one must have the proper face to go along with the clothing. Most impressive as well is your four years of volunteering as a pooper scooper at a dog hotel, and the four years following that as an instruction manual writer for various companies. These prestigious experiences do you credit.
Please note that while we do not discriminate in our hiring process, we have been most curious about the 14 years you spent in prison. Before those 14 years you have a most competitive resume with your seven years spent as a lead engineer at the European Union Space Agency, but that does not discount the time you have spent incarcerated. Please do not mistake us, we still want to meet with you. Just know that your imprisonment will be discussed when we do.
On the subject of meeting, it is nearing the Christmas season. This is one of our busiest times of year and we are looking to hire new employees as soon as possible. You mentioned in your application that you are enthusiastic to meet at our earliest convenience, and we are happy to report that that date is tomorrow. Please report to the front desk at the main office by tomorrow at 13:00 and bring a package of twinkle lights.

See you tomorrow and all the best,
Patsy Huffenstuff
PowerKing Pants CEO
4156 Cephalofer Dr, Brisbane QLD 4000, Australia
huffenpatsy206@powerkingp.com
www.powerkingpants.com