Sticking it Out PV Maisie Gemmell

After she'd found Robin and Adeline and informed them of their success, Maisie knew she had to reckon with her third straight loss, and more significantly the way she'd let Aislin, a small but determined first year, take the fall towards the end. Aislin, a new duellist, against those awful third years (minus Emily this time). It wasn't fair.

So, eventually, she swallowed, excused herself and started walking the hall again. Thankfully, the Hospital Wing was a finite space. Eventually, she would find Aislin whether she was ready or not. Part of her wanted the younger girl to be asleep. In dreams, she could be safe from all this. (Unless she was casting spells in her dreams like Robin had been.)

But that was not what she found. Aislin, sat up against the pillows, was turning her head away from her wand, arms crossed, when Maisie found her. Maisie couldn't blame her for her disgruntled disposition. She slowed slightly as she took a seat beside her, wondering what to say or do. "Hey Aislin," she greeted her, "Are you feeling alright?" Like Addie and Robin, the girl had been completely knocked out, but she'd been set alit too. Fire on the skin was very not fun, and in Maisie's opinion she'd rather take a knockback jinx or even a lighting strike. She bit her lip recalling the numerous things she'd gotten hit with for the past year.

Then came the hard part: she had to say something. Nothing she could knit or design could take the place of it. She looked down at the floor before turning back to the younger girl. "I'm sorry Aislin," she started, "You did so great. Your storm cloud was genius, and I mean you seem to know a few second year spells. You just...had the bad luck to get stuck with me." As her voice trailed off, her eyes returned to the floor as she shrugged.

Why was this somehow harder than being up on the piste with Costanza egging her on? That was expected now: the failure, the belittlement, the sinking feeling in her stomach. But in the past her teammates had been unable to keep up. This was different. Nicholas and Aislin, though first years, had tried their hardest. As the experienced one, she should have carried them or protected them. All she did was tell them not to give up—some great advice that turned out to be.

Because no advice could protect them from the truth Costanza articulated so well again and again: Maisie Gemmell was an embarrassment. She just felt bad a talented first year had to get caught in her crossfire.

@Aislin Darragh

Credit to Maisie Gemmell

@Maisie Gemmell

Aislin had settled into vaguely discontent boredom when Maisie arrived, riding the brief spike of disappointment and still shifting around like she might find a position where she didn't feel the after effects of being knocked out by fire. Of course, she would probably be shifting anyway, because she had nothing better to do and because she quite famously could not sit still, just ask her mam. But all of that vanished at the sight of Maisie, wild, improbable hope flaring that maybe she'd pulled it off. If she'd made it to the end on her feet, then it was possible: she'd petrified Costanza, landed one last hit to take Alina out, worn Minnie down in the little bit of time left, and then Costanza had succumbed enough to the Curse of the Bogies for Pyxis to rule it a win for Ravenclaw.

So, emphasis on wild and improbable. It sunk just as fast, once she actually looked at Maisie's face and pieced together the utter lack of excitement there, but it didn't sink quite as far, now that she had company. "Hi, Maisie." She pulled her legs up so her teammate would have plenty of room to sit, settling her chin on her knees. "I feel..." She contemplated how to best explain it, what existed in her head as a jumble of sensations. But maybe Maisie had been knocked out in a duel before, and she would get it. "Kind of weird."

She didn't know what teammates usually did after duels. After losses, especially. And she probably should, being captain and all, so for the dozenth time today she was quietly glad Maisie was here with a year's worth of knowledge. Compliments and apologies, it seemed, was the approach. Though it was sandwiched by Maisie's disappointment -- in herself, mainly, which Aislin already disagreed with -- she couldn't help but light up at the mention of her storm cloud. "It was pretty cool," she agreed, tucking genius in a happy corner of her head. They might have lost, but there were moments when she thought they might not, or at least where they had proven themselves as two first years and a second year against a second year and two third years. A moment had come with the storm cloud, but also with Maisie's Fog Charm, and her disarming Costanza, and Nicholas' Knockback Jinx, and when Aislin's Slowing Charm caught Alina and they were all lining up spells (before they'd messed that up fantastically).

But she couldn't stay imagining the stunning crackle of her storm cloud when Maisie described getting teamed with her as bad luck. In fact, Aislin's nose wrinkled reflexively, instantly confused. She was pretty sure it was incredible luck to be with a second year capable of casting fourth year spells. Granted, she hadn't actually seen the other Ravenclaw second years in an active duel, but she would maintain that belief until proven otherwise. "It wasn't bad luck," she said, lifting her head up off her knees because that felt like it would make her words more serious. "Look, you cast Nebulus and Petrificus Totalus. You're the only reason Costanza couldn't take out me and Nicholas earlier. I think I would have been lost up there, if you weren't there."

And that felt like the truth: the duelling stage was overwhelming. All their plans and all their practice were eclipsed as soon as she was sneezing or on fire or feeling the full force of a Knockback Jinx, and then she was like a bug on its back, which was the last thing you wanted to be mid-duel. But Maisie had been there, steady and experienced and telling them don't give up, and Aislin had figured out a way to right herself. That didn't sound like any sort of bad luck.

Aislin felt kind of weird. She wasn't the only one. As Maisie sat beside her, the guilt loomed heavily in her mind. Maybe Coach Mylo had been right all along: maybe she should run. If they'd all run, Aislin wouldn't be hurt. They'd never really stood much of a chance anyhow.

But as she bit her lip, grumbling, Aislin lifted the mood for a split second as she talked about her spell. "It really was," she agreed with a genuine smile. In the back of her head, she could still picture the way it loomed over the Hufflepuffs, a pleasant change from all the times it had loomed over her own. If only creativity—the prime trait of Ravenclaw house—would win the day just once. That's all she wanted: just one time to not be a laughing stock.

Lifting her head up after pulling her satchel closer to her chair, she noticed the quizzical expression on Aislin's face. Meeting her eyes, she studied her for a moment. They were talking about the same thing, weren't they? And yet as Aislin propped her head up and used that word, 'look,' it seemed like they might not be. But Maisie would stay and listen; she owed the first year that much.

And yet what Aislin said was strange. It made her look good, sound good. It made her sound like she saved them despite the fact they'd both ended up here. Aislin said she would have been 'lost,' otherwise. She shook her head. "I..." But then she hesitated. Aislin looked so determined, and she didn't want to crush her spirit. So, she took a beat to figure out how to reconcile what Aislin believed and what she knew to be truth, even though she wasn't sure she could reconcile them. "Those were lucky. The first one, really. The Body-Bind Curse didn't even go off," she paused realizing Aislin might not even know that, "And honestly, I think I would have been lost too, without you." In the past, her partners had missed, known few spells, or straight up frozen on the block. Aislin and Nicholas had not, and Aislin in particular had proven herself a force to be reckoned with.

Blinking, she wondered how much she had crushed Aislin's perception of everything. And in that moment, in the vulnerability Aislin's fervent belief had forced her to confront, she admitted softly, "After you went down, Costanza said she never wanted to see my face again for the rest of the year." She glanced back down at the floor again for a moment.

Talk about feeling weird.

@Aislin Darragh

Credit to Maisie Gemmell

@Maisie Gemmell

A better captain would know how to give pep talks after losses. As it was, Aislin was an incredibly new captain, and as sure as she was that she knew things -- incantations, strategies, spell combinations she scribbled instead of notes during Charms class -- she was kind of perpetually guessing, bugging the other captains for clarification or trying to watch how they moved or, in perhaps true Ravenclaw fashion, entirely winging it. She wasn't even really at the point of self-awareness that she was, at best, a very mediocre captain.

What Aislin said was honest, because she hadn't thought to be anything else, but it didn't exactly seem to land. She'd been confused with Maisie, now Maisie was confused with her. Aislin's evidence wasn't completely accurate, for starters. Without seeing it, she'd really believed there was a petrified Costanza going down at the same time as her. Maybe she'd dreamed it. Maybe she'd just superimposed images of Maisie casting the curse in practice and the ease with which she'd pulled off Nebulus with the pressure of a stage. It hadn't occurred to her that Maisie hadn't cast Petrificus Totalus at all. She said, "Oh," a tiny sound slipping between Maisie's rebuttal.

Still, she was undeterred. Mostly. That hadn't been the crux of her argument, so this wasn't a totally unsalvageable sort-of-pep-talk yet. "Eh, I don't think those spells were just lucky." She cupped her head in her hands, a shift from her chin digging into her bony knees, and smiled a bit at the idea that she'd helped Maisie up there. "So we're even. We had the good luck to get stuck together." Aislin said it was a finality bigger than all five foot nothing of her; it was no wonder that she'd found herself captain of much older, more experienced duellists, because those differences never quite seemed to register.

Maisie had one last admittance from the part of the duel Aislin had missed: Costanza said she never wanted to see my face again for the rest of the year. "What?" Her nose wrinkled again. Huh, okay. That was a weird thing to say. Aislin really didn't think she liked Costanza, and it mostly didn't have to do with the lingering ache in her shoulder. "She probably thinks she'll lose if she has to go up against you again." Did Aislin actually know what she was talking about? Absolutely not. But it was fun to say, and she'd heard something similar before: "My nan says it's hard to beat the same team over and over. We almost had them a couple of times." Possibly just the one time they had spells lined up at a slowed Alina. Aislin believed it, that the same Hufflepuff team could go down next time. Besides, if anyone ever knew what they were talking about, it was her nan.