Darkness to Light Finished PV Ruka Tân

Ruka started to reprimand Flash, for what reason it was difficult to know. When Ruka had the opportunity to leave and never talk to Flash again, he stuck around, to lecture him about his life, no less.

Flash listened, learning everything he could while Ruka was feeling like talking. Unashamed, self-righteous, aggressive. Ruka was dedicated to the idea that the outside should reflect the inside, but it was only his wrong opinion.

Much like Flash had done only moments earlier, Ruka refused to see things from Flash’s perspective. He saw something he didn’t agree with and lashed out. Telling him he cared too much, as if such a thing was possible. Flash listened patiently to all of it. Insistent. Misanthrope.

Then, he finished with what could only be called a killing blow. Hidden mess… no, that’s… not... Flash’s smile dropped, suddenly expressing something akin to fear. He didn’t like to think about things like that. His act was going so well, he didn’t have to. As long as his mask was perfect, so long as people continued to flock to him, it didn’t matter what was happening inside him. That’s what he told himself, over and over again.

”You’ve got me wrong. I don’t need to be fixed.” Flash lost control of his expression, no longer trying to keep it in check. If Ruka was so obsessed with authenticity, he would give it to him. ”I’m not messed up, I’m not confused. I know exactly what I’m doing. I…”

Flash put his hand on his face, shielding it and looking away. Valerius would never act out like that. He would never lose his temper, no matter who he was talking to. He couldn’t get it back. Ruka was beating him down and he was letting it happen. Still, he couldn’t just run away. Did he have to admit defeat again, so soon?

”Ruka, if I didn’t act like this no one would like me. No one at all. So don’t tell me I care too much. I have to do this.” Flash’s face was still hidden, and his voice was muffled and monotone. Feeling as if this must have been enough to quench his desire for revenge, he turned to leave.

@Ruka Tân

@Flash Holmwood

Bull’s Eye.

Ruka hadn’t been sure just how right he was with his assumptions about Flash putting on a show for people to like him rather than just being himself, but the way the other boy’s smile just slid off his face like that...

Well, he had to have hit some kind of nerve.

Flash was clearly flustered, rambling as he tried to explain himself to Ruka who just stood and watched the masks falling one by one. For a moment he wanted to say something, add some other valuable life lessons for Flash to think about, maybe even gloat a little bit at how quickly he had made the other boy’s facade crumble this morning.

But then Flash covered his face with his hands, and it was such a vulnerable gesture, so raw, that Ruka couldn’t do anything but stare at the other boy and wait for him to collect himself again.

It took a moment, and when Flash actually spoke again it was the most honest he had sounded ever since they met. Part of Ruka wanted to reach out, offer a consoling gesture, maybe a pat on the back or even a hug, but the other part, the cynical, bitter part of him told him that Flash didn’t deserve his sympathy after the way he had tried to take advantage of his mental state.

The words from the other boy’s mouth made Ruka swallow heavily, hand reaching up to touch the fedora as if gathering strength from it. 

So Flash felt like he had to be like this? Like he himself wasn’t good enough to deserve the attention of other people so he had to mould himself into whatever he thought they wanted him to be?

No wonder he and Jack clashed.

“Nobody likes you like this either,” Ruka said, voice gentle but insistent, like he was trying not to startle Flash too much. He could see the Slytherin trying to turn away from him, maybe leave now that he had no use for Ruka anymore, and this time he wasn’t going to stop him. “They only like those shiny masks and costumes you put on for them. And what do you think happens when you grow tired of wearing them?” 

He could smell food from the Great Hall piercing his nostrils and making his stomach churn uncomfortably.

 That was probably his sign to leave.

Without giving Flash the time to respond or say anything else at all, Ruka just offered him another small smile before silently turning on his heels and heading back towards the staircases, the image of the other boy hiding his face behind his hands like he was hiding it behind his masks still freshly burning in his mind. 

Left Thread

It didn’t matter what Ruka had to say next, Flash wasn’t sticking around to hear it. He didn’t need another callous jab at his expense. Instead, he left, away from the doors, back into the courtyard. He couldn’t possibly follow Ruka into the Great Hall, he couldn’t stand to see anyone. It shouldn’t hurt. Empty. He wandered off in the direction of one of his other routes. The longest one there was.

He would have to come back to eat later. He had to account for the extra time he would be spending outside of his regular routine. He would have to grab something light and easy, so that eating it quickly wouldn’t spoil his attention during his first lesson. Fruit would work, just something for energy. Once he got far enough away from the castle, he started jogging. Nothing. Air.

He kept the steady pace he usually did, only a bit quicker given that he didn’t have much time to spare. It was important to push the limit of one’s ability, but just exercising without understanding your own body was more often than not a waste of time. It’s important to approach everything with the goal of understanding it to the best of your ability, be it with the way you exercise or how you calculate your daily nutritional intake. The choices he makes become a tightly woven tapestry, where every string needs to be in the right place in order to form the pattern.

His temples hurt, like a headache, but it tugged at his eyes. He didn’t realize it was happening until the warm tears could be felt streaking across his face, caught by the wind rushing by. Once he had noticed, he doubled over, nearly tripping over his feet. Enough… He wiped them away, kneeling down and catching his breath. Breathing. Waiting for it to go away. He rubbed his eyes one last time before getting up and continuing his jog.

The rest of the day went fine.

@Ruka Tân