A Time To Wind Down, Perhaps?
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amazing banner by esme hestridge
| december thirteen | outfit | xxx | xxx | english | welsh |
1,120.200 | interacting with @Avery Gray
ℬrookline pulled up her black tights, then tightening the buckles on her dark thigh boots. She straightened the cream-white cable-knit sweater, and noticed all the dusty stains on it. She sighed, her sigh all rusty, and bland. Her voice was never used except when people were spoke to her, and her tangled hair was never brushed. Her eyes were pale, and her skin was pale and she never ate much anymore. She was getting better but then, she kept tumbling down that dark hole.
As Christmas inched closer, and closer, the students kept chattering and chittering around about Christmas and the holidays, and all it did made Brookline stoop and cringe lower and lower down that hole. Christmas was just that ugly reminder that her father left, and that he was never going to be the dad she wished for.
Never ever.
It sucked. It sucked trying to pick up the broken pieces of her heart and trying to desperately continue on. Brookline felt broken, cracked, and like a stupid, little fragment of her former self. It was as if the universe broke her in ten billion pieces and just chose one of those particles, and now that was her personality and new self now.
Brookline flopped on her bed, long, lengthy signs escaping her lips, and she curled up into a fetal position, tears pricking her eyes. She tightened herself, her fingers wrapping around her booted ankles. I won’t cry! She thought, her face crumbling and her eyes squeezed shut, her core shattering. Please don’t cry, please don’t cry. Brookline sighed, afraid the tears were going to fall and her eyes are going to turn ruby red now.
nononononono
She rubbed her eyes with closed fists as Brookline unfurled from her “wrapped ball” position, and she punched her pillow. Again and again. She punched her pillow til her fist was sore. All the while, she exclaimed, her voice cracking, “Stupid, stupid, stupid father! Stupid, stupid, stupid damned Christmas! Stupid, stupid, stupid mother! Stupid, stupid, stupid universe! You all are so stupid! Plain stupid!”
All the crap she’d burst out, she’d only believed in half of it. One, salty tear trailed down her cheek, leaving a darker streak on her already stark-white face. Brookline had it, she grabbed her satchel, and wrapped a super messy bun in her sticky hair. Sticking her wand inside the horrible, terrible bird’s nest, she exited the dorm room, leaving with an angry, horrendous slam. Her lips pursed a fine line, the Welsh Ravenclaw trotted out of the common room, and down the stairs she went.
Normally, Old Brookline would have cared about her appearance, and would never leave her dorm looking like a loathsome, monstrous mess, yet, did Chase Quinn Senior even cared? Did Brookline? New Brookline did not care, and she knew Old Brookline cared, yet, she blamed it all on the universe who broke her and chose her new personality and the new person who would be controlling her. That new person would be Brookline Quinn. Not “Brooke” or “Line” or “Rook” or anything! Brookline Quinn was her new name and no-one ever was going to change that.
No-one!
Now, Brookline sat in the darkest corner of the library, all her homework strewn across her table, and her wand sparkling as she tried to do everything she could to even produce a spell. Nothing was working!
Nothing, nothing!! Everyone just wants to see me fail, Brookline’d say quietly to herself as every cell in her body loathed. She wanted to scream. She wanted to punch. She wanted to hurt. She wanted to curl into a little ball and die in a sewer. The Ravenclaw whimpered as her eyes would scan across all the homework she had to do before Monday morning. The witty Ravenclaw who once thought homework was fun, and now she never did her homework, only at the last minute; sometimes the young girl would be doing a Herbology or Charms essay during History of Magic or even Potions. She stared at her essays, and her papers and her multiple choice questions, all her homework with a scared look. There was absolutely no way she would ever, by Merlin, would she be able to finish this by Monday.
Unless I stay here til curfew and I stay up tonight in the dorm tonight and skip all meals tomorrow, and then sleep through class next week. Brookline thought, cheekily as she ruefully smirked, her lips upturned, yet still small as her fake smiles usually were.
Slamming her face into the table was the first thing the young Quinn would do before she continue her homework, her eyes crumbling up along with her soul. Brookline imagined her body disappearing and no-one coming to look, or remember, despite all the menacing homework staring at anyone who dared to step near the table. If she did disappear, she’d hoped that if anyone did came to look what happened here, they’d dismiss it with a flick of their hand, stating that just perhaps a careless student left it here and forgot it.
Brookline raised her skull up, desperately hoping that her cranium didn’t cause such a huge noise as it smaller right into the table. Of course if it did, she would have tell them why she there, in the late afternoon, instead of in the Great Hall, eating supper. She’d have to explain why she look like she could knock anyone out if they came near her or her table in the darkest corner in the library.
Shitshitshitshitshit. Fudge!! She’d cringed, thinking, I might have ruined my chance here all alone!
It might be better to be a seventh year, to know how to Apparte and Disapparte just before a nagging student or professor came up to her, to ask what was wrong. Of course she knew, she did definitely knew, it would be so rude to just disappear just like that.
Then, just then, Brookline caught sight of a female student sitting just two tables ahead of her. Her brown hair tumbling down her back, and she looked taller than her. A second year, or a third year perhaps? There were always second years taller than her though! Suddenly, the other witch turned around to perhaps check the clock, or to just stretch, and Brookline gaped.
Is that Avery?
The Welsh girl had met the younger girl, second year, when all the schools was at Peter’s school, Beauxbâtons, and they shared quite a bit of themselves. Brookline shut her gaping maw, and trained her dark blue eyes on her textbook, hoping to pass as any other Hogwarts student just twittering about on their homework, and not as herself.
Oh, just take me now.
occ note:
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A Time To Wind Down, Perhaps?
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Interacting with: @Emiline Hunter
Mentioning: N/A
Date: 12/13/25Word Count: 442
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✽Avery had laid in her bed for a better part of the morning. Skipping breakfast wasn't something she normally did, but the day was one of those days. She was nervous about going back to her grandparents' home in Swansea, Wales. What would she find there? Was her grandfather okay? Was he still alive? Questions filled Avery's head. Each one making her more and more anxious as time ticked on.
Eventually Avery got out of her bed and pulled on some simple blue jeans and her favorite red sweater. She didn't even dare tackling her hair. It was decent enough to take a simple walk to the library and Avery didn't really care if she did anything to it. Life was what it was. She had better things to fret about such as what her Christmas was going to look like which made worrying about her hair a simple matter.
Avery walked down the flights of stairs that led to the library. She listened as portraits chattered about nonsense around her. Simple conversations such as what the weather was like or what gossip they had overheard as students walked past that day. All things Avery kept her mind away from. She had to focus. Otherwise her mind would go back to stressing.
Upon walking in, Avery had noticed how empty the library felt. Being this close to Christmas break, many students had refrained from going to the library and instead resorted to early packing and preparing what gifts they would be giving when the time came.
Avery hadn't noticed Brookline at first. Not until she had turned around. Then she noticed the older girl. It had actually been awhile since Avery had last seen her. Since earlier that year in February at Beauxbatons if she was being literal. Wow. Had it really been that long ago? Avery couldn't believe it. Nearly a year ago Avery and even Brookline had bonded over their past and somewhat current trauma that left both girls admitting how broken they really were.
Something was immediately off about Brookline. She wasn't smiling at Avery or waving her over. Brookline's head was down and looking at her textbook. Only a moment before their eyes had locked, so Avery knew that the older girl had seen her, so why was she so guarded? What had happened to her since they had last spoken?
Of course Avery approached the girl. She had to know how she was. "Hey Brookline. It's been awhile. How've you been?" Avery smiled weakly. Unsure of whether or not the girl wanted Avery around her. If she didn't Avery wouldn't mind. She always liked to respect distance.
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Credit: Mylo Atkins
Be the change you wish to see |
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in the world. |
A Time To Wind Down, Perhaps?
☪︎
amazing banner by esme hestridge
| december thirteen | outfit | xxx | xxx | english | welsh |
716.200 | interacting with @Avery Gray
ℬrookline wanted to shrink and dissappear, just like that little girl in that Muggle novel called Alice in Wonderland where she drank this potion which shrunk her to about ten inches in height. Although, instead of ten inches in height, why not drink more of that potion and truncate where absolutely no-one would ever know unless a shoe squashes the little Ravenclaw girl.
She refrained from sighing for the millionth time today, and Brookline shrank in her chair. Her eyes inches away from the words of the textbook, and she exhaled a sigh of relief when she flicked her eyes up to see Avery had her back to her, and Brookline was glad that the younger girl wasn't approaching her. Yet, something dreadful bubbled in her core - Avery knew that Brookline knew that the younger girl was here. They had made eye contact and the Ravenclaw had just volleyed her glance back to her guidebook so quickly and swiftly that she hoped, she literally crossed her fingers that Avery would just dismiss her for a different girl. Just a different girl with the same eyes, same hair, same face - although much paler - same everything. Perhaps Brookline should force Lizy to pull her out of school, and that she should move to a new country with a new name and new start.
That doesn't seem half bad, Brookline thought, a small, accomplished smirk played with her lips.
She just did not want absolutely anyone to see like this! If a professor came by or a high pure-blood family's son or daughter came on by, and saw her with a state like this, they'd pen a letter to her mother, stating that Brookline needed some help. Probably some mental help. And that would completely break her mum, Amy Quinn, if she wasn't already broken enough. The Ravenclaw was quite afraid that her own father had changed her mum and Amy was never coming back, the way she was before. Chase was changing her too, changing Brookline in a way she'd never know how or why, just be around to see and experience the aftereffects of New Brookline. No more Old Brookline in her head, no more dual personalities; just New Brookline.
Brookline reviewed the Herblogy essay that was supposed to be finshed and turned in yesterday during class. She was almost finished, and when she went on a walk tomorrow to relieve all the stress, she would pass by the Herblogy professor's office and drop it off along with a little apology note.
The Welsh girl lifted her eyes to check the clock, to make sure she wasn't missing curfew. Perhaps she could get out of this library before Avery came up to her and ask her how she was. And, surprise, yet, not so much surpirse, there she was. The young, brave Gryffindor girl.
"Hey Brookline."
The younger girl's smile was weak and fragile and shaky as she asked Brookline how's she been. Called it. The Ravenclaw studied the other witch, her lip trembling, and she self-consciouly ran a palm through sticky, messy, greasy, matted hair, her fingers catching on her bun. Of courseeeee.
"I --" The word stayed on her tongue for a while as words she didn't say bounced all over in her skull, I don't know how to do anything anymore, and I don't know who I am. I don't know I don't know I don't know.
I don't fricking know!
Brookline's fingers visiblly shook, as if there was someone inside controlling her and this was just the side effects. Her head was pounding, her eyes hurt like crazy, her stomach hurt so bad, and she didn't know what to say. Everything hurt.
"Oh, hey Avery," The words slipping out like a snake as if she wasn't just a dreadful, ghastly mess before. "I'm fine. Just working on homework. How's you? You doing okay?" Now switching the question on Avery, Brookline felt gulity as she looked an absolute mess as she said she was fine. She was fine, right??
I'm not fine, New Brookline! Her inner voice yelled and made her heart race as she took in a breath.
I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm good. I'm fine. Like a mantra in her head, Brookline repeated herself, hoping she would believe it.
occ note:
☪︎
A Time To Wind Down, Perhaps?
❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂━━━━━❂
Interacting with: @Emiline Hunter
Mentioning: N/A
Date: 12/13/25Word Count: 332
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✽Avery let out a sigh. She was worried though for her friend. Something wasn't right, but Avery knew from experience not to push. She knew that Brookline would tell her what was going on when she was ready and willing. And Avery would respect that. It was honestly the least she could do after their meeting the year prior at Beauxbatons where both girls had poured out their hearts.
"I've honestly been better. Christmas can be a bit of a hard time." Avery admitted.
It was true. This would be Avery's second Christmas without her mother. That felt like a low blow. She should have pushed the woman away at this point. It was obvious now that her mother didn't care about her, so why did she keep hoping?
The answer was, she couldn't give up her hope. If she did, the truth would destroy her. Her mother had loved her for a time. Avery was sure of that. She had been there for Avery in the beginning. It was as if she was taking care of Avery because Avery needed her. Now that Avery was independent, her mother could finally rip herself away from the bur that clung to her side.
That was the cold hard truth. A truth Avery didn't want to admit to herself fully. It was just another problem to add to her ever growing list of problems.
There was a voice in the back of her mind that was slowly getting stronger. It was a reminder that she was broken. It spoke lies. You'll never be good enough, Avery. Why keep trying? It was getting harder and harder to ignore that voice.
Then Avery collapsed into the chair in front of her. Dropping her books to the ground, she smiled weakly at Brookline. This was no time to put up a facade. A mask of how she felt. Brookline and Avery had been honest with each other in the past. Why not continue that now?
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Credit: Mylo Atkins
Wow. . . This is so late! I'm so sorry!
Be the change you wish to see |
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in the world. |