The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #45

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As Hogwarts bids farewell to our past four Heads of House, we welcome four new ones: Professor Mori, Professor Lancaster, Professor Alarie, and Professor Sauber. Now that I have had the pleasure of speaking with each of them personally, I feel I have gotten to know them better, especially their motives and qualities. I believe that the rest of the student population also deserves such information, hence my introduction below.

┏ ──────────── ┓ A New Age of Leadership ======================== by Archer Duncan ┗ ──────────── ┛

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Aiko Mori, Head of House of Gryffindor . . . = hails from the far away Mahoutokoro, where she was once headmistress. According to her, she hopes to have a more direct connection with students. This may seem like a sudden change of career; however, according to Professor Mori herself, she is interested in a new direction.

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❝ ─ ─────────────┓ Professor Mori is a prime example of learning to step out of our comfort zone and trying new experiences, however daunting or unfamiliar they may seem. = x┗───────────── ❞

Professor Mori is a prime example of learning to step out of our comfort zone and trying new experiences, however daunting or unfamiliar they may seem. Being from another school completely, she has the potential to be our most influential lead in terms of reform and the introduction of new ideas. Professor Mori will certainly bring fascinating cultural value and teaching techniques to the Hogwarts table.

Jessamine Ophelia Lancaster, Head of House of Ravenclaw . . .

was once our Professor of Study of Ancient Runes. Despite stating that she loves teaching, the professor decided that something else was of higher priority: safety. She has stressed that this is a growing concern of hers, and is unsatisfied by the fact that not every student feels safe in their common room, a place meant to offer comfort. It is indeed true that safety has become a rising issue at Hogwarts, if not a historical one. Balls have been repeatedly dangerous, from creature sabotages and stabbing attempts of the past to, more recently, the terrorist attack on Hogsmeade, where many lost their lives. Her mission will certainly be an honourable one.

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"[...] something else was of higher priority: safety."

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Édith Françoise Alarie, Head of House of Hufflepuff . . .

❝ ─ ────────────┓ x = She shows us the quality of never being complacent and always striving for positions beyond what we think we are capable of. ── x┗──────────── ❞

was promoted directly from the role of librarian. Due to her aptitude for helping children to learn, as shown in her tenure as librarian, she decided to apply for Head of House. Although she = was never a subject professor, she has much to teach us, especially in her amount of healthy ambition. She shows us the

quality of never being complacent and always striving for positions beyond what we think we are capable of, whether in studies, career, or life. Her high aspirations and hard work for success is one thing we can learn from her, and she will surely continue that in her administrative position.

Samuel Reinhard Sauber, Head of House of Slytherin . . .

“When possibility arises, one should extend it.”

=

was once our Professor of Potions. Although he stated that he had no original intentions of assuming the position, when asked for his reasoning, it was clear that he believed in opportunism, stating that: “When possibility arises, one should extend it.” Influence, according to him, is a resource he is ready to use for securing the safety and future of Hogwarts’s children. Further explaining that emotion was not a factor that played into his decision and it was rather one based on effectiveness, Professor Sauber, whether as Potions Professor or Head of House, adds to the leadership team an admirable methodicalness. For teenage children commonly dramatically influenced by sentiments, he leads by example.

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Students may have been unsure whether to clap or worry at our farewell to our old Heads of House, but, rest assured, we remain in fine hands. Times are always changing, and we must learn to adapt along with them. Although often viewed with apprehension, the radicalism a new leadership team could bring is a crucial catalyst for our progress forward. A new group of Heads of House ensure that our Hogwarts community does not grow complacent in the face of its past. They are not redefining what it means to be a leader, but rather showing us that we are always capable of

=

something different, something more. While this change of leadership may be unexpected, trust it to be a new step ahead for our school rather than an uncertainty holding us back. Please give our new Heads of House the welcome they deserve, and trust that they will live up to their predecessors, if not do an even better job. ==================

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

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Campfire Stories 101
by Oonagh Brown

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x──────────────── I am serious, good stories are hard to come by, and making them up on the spot is a skill very few possess. Even fewer are able to show this skill off. And I understand that not everyone can be as awesome as I am, but why go to the opposite end of the spectrum and just be boring?	x	x──────────────── So, as this is the season of bonfires and huddling around the fireplace in the common rooms, I present you with a foolproof way to at least come up with an adequate story to tell, that has not been repeated for centuries to the point of becoming utterly predictable and boring. xxx	x	x──────────────── I'm really only doing myself a service with it because I am tired of people boring me to death when I am trying to chill in the common room. So maybe you can learn something and become at least adequate at being an interesting enough person to tell fun stories. xxx
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Campfire stories are short and tend to cause a reaction, so you need to remember not to ramble on and get to the point, because no one will appreciate it if you talk for an hour and no one else gets a turn to tell their story. You want the story to take about 5-10 minutes to tell.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Do you want them to cry because you shattered their hearts? ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Secondly, you need to pick a genre for the story. What sort of reaction do you want to your story? Do you want people to laugh until their breath runs out? Do you want them to cry because you shattered their hearts? Or do you want them to be inspired to go out and defeat dragons and sail across seas? This is probably the most important aspect of a self-made story, because if you don't know what you want to achieve with the story, then maybe you should not be the one telling the campfire story.

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Depending on the story, you need to come up with characters and a fun or engaging enough plot that keeps people listening. This can, quite literally, be anything. Let your imagination run wild! You need to introduce your characters and the objective of the story, be it a treasure hunt or solving a mystery. Let listeners know what the goal is, and then have the characters try to achieve said goal. Throw a few obstacles in their way, such as the teddy bear having to escape a pack of wolves, or an evil goose stealing the map to the chocolate fountain.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. This can, quite literally, be anything. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Before they achieve or fail their goal, you will want to include something major—a final battle or a plot twist that shatters expectations, something worthy to follow up with the completion of the story. Then, you want the story to end, and if you did well, you will have done everyone a favour in actually telling a fun and interesting story.

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To put this to the test, the Headliner will host a little competition in which you can do your worst or best at coming up with your own short story. The winners of the competition will have the honour of having their stories printed in the first issue after the winter holidays! There will be two categories for which you can submit stories: “Funny Adventure” and “Wholesome Mystery”.

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Why so sappy? Well, because the overall theme is meant to be Cosy Bonfire, after all!

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

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“Doxxing”: Not Just a Muggle Term! by Aly Salinger

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	x	As of late, Hogwarts has been swept with the term “doxxing”—a Muggle word with, allegedly, little to no use in the magical world. Those who grew up without access to Muggle technology might be just as confused as I was upon hearing this particular term being said for the first time, by Muggle-born or half-blood friends in hallways, courses, or sports. Luckily, we here at the Headliner have conducted the necessary research to explain this Muggle word—and its surprising magical meaning. x“Doxx” is a verb in nature, and is usually done to a person; to “doxx” someone is to reveal their	x	identity, often in an unpleasant manner or to persons who did not previously know it. This is most commonly utilised on the Muggle inter-net, which is likely a system of netting connecting the identification cards of every Muggle person, if I am understanding this correctly. (The netting must be quite strong to wrap around the whole world! Also, perhaps it is invisible, because I have never seen this net myself.) Essentially, if one finds another person’s identification card on the netting and then shares their information with others, the owner of the card has now been “doxxed”.
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As you can imagine, dear reader, this is a most irksome incident for the person whose identity has been revealed. Imagine if they were an undercover government agent! Or simply if they preferred to keep their middle name a secret! This would be rather annoying and could even be fear-inducing, indeed.

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In the wizarding world, however, there is little use for “doxxing”, first and foremost because we lack this netting system that Muggles seem to have adopted for storage of identification. Sure, you could spill someone’s secret to those you know, but it seems to lack the same allure and fearmongering that “doxxing” in the Muggle world might carry. xUpon doing some historical and linguistic investigation into the term, though—we at the Headliner would like to extend a most gracious thanks to Miss Alarie for assisting us in our search and finding some books for us before she left the library for the comfort of the barreled Hufflepuff commons	x	—a shocking revelation has come to light. It seems that magical folk actually invented the term “doxxing” in the early 19th century, and its significance is entirely different from the Muggle term we have come to know today!
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According to Creature Comeuppance, published in 1813 by one Lord Seymour Cruttwell, “doxxing” is an excellent way to utilise magical creatures to inflict pain on one’s worst enemies. If you haven’t guessed by now, “doxxing” is the practice of siccing a doxy (or a swarm of the pests) upon someone, usually by hiding it in their clothing, shoes, or handbag. Cruttwell states in his (admittedly quite dark and torture-praising) book that “that wretched doxy is a plague upon us all; prithee, let it serve thee well rather than burden thee. Its venomous bite and most keen teeth are potent weapons against a person of ill-repute, and though ─────────────────

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one cur might suffice, the employment of several doxies shall surely wound and vex thine foe beyond measure”. He does also warn, however, that doxies are not ❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. Pray, be mindful that the beastie doth not nip thee whilst thou art coercing it. ── x┗────────── x❞ to be trifled with: “Pray, be mindful that the beastie doth not nip thee whilst thou art coercing it into thine enemy’s habiliments.” xOf course, modernly, doxies ─────────────────

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are still considered pests, but more of a common household kind rather than something one might use to hurt someone. Still, even in the early 1800s, there were manners in which someone could be rid of a doxy. Though we are unsure as to the specific date on which the Knockback Jinx was found to be particularly effective against doxies, the potion Doxycide was invented by Zygmunt Budge hundreds of years before the publication of Cruttwell’s book. Granted, it’s unlikely that people in the early 19th century simply carried around doxycide—though maybe they should have started doing so, so as to avoid getting “doxxed”. ─────────────────

Despite their more modern status as a simple annoyance, we at the Headliner do not endorse the “doxxing” of anyone, whether in the Muggle sense of the word or in the magical one. Revelations of identifications are about as fun as finding a doxy in your undergarments—that is, not at all! As such, we ask that students utilise this knowledge in a purely	x	academic sense and not practically. It is always most interesting to discover the meaning of words through research… and less so to discover the meaning via hands-on experience! Please note that any student caught “doxxing” another (in either sense of the word) will be subject to detention or other punishments.
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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

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Greetings and salutations, my dear readers! I come today with a bone-chilling prolongation of my last article. As I am certain you’ve anticipated, I bring even more scintillating information about Hogwarts’s least fine.	x	Spilling Hogwarts’s Secrets: Vol. 2
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The first individual up for discussion is none other than Oonagh Brown—yes, that Oonagh. The Gryffindor Quidditch player with more hair than intellect. Of course, I’m unsurprised by the information that has come to light, though I worry this revelation might shock some of our more sensitive readers. However, the truth is of the utmost importance, so I will continue. Miss Brown blew up half of the restricted section in the library. Now, if you hadn’t heard about this, don’t worry, as it was covered up almost immediately! Talk about censorship! However, I have eyes and ears everywhere, so I can bring you the truth you deserve to know.

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I do hope no irreplaceable tomes were damaged in her antics!=───────────────────────
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On a less physically destructive note, I am pleased to inform any older students looking for a girlfriend that it seems one Bailey Glade is single again. She has seemed far less cheerful than usual; upon interrogating one of my many sources, I have ascertained that Kim Sato has broken up with her. How disappointing… I suppose you can’t have everything! = = = = ───────────────────────

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It really does seem like students have had a trend of crying this autumn. Thankfully, I’m not one of them, but a most reputable source informed me that Camille de Varenne had a breakdown at the Three Broomsticks last month. For such an image-obsessed diva, he really does seem to struggle to keep it together, no? I lacked the luck to witness it myself, but just imagine—mascara streaking down his face as he screams because daddy doesn’t buy him what he wants. Boo, hoo. Well, don’t be too mean to Mr de Varenne. Not all of us can control the waterworks. ─────────────────────────

There is, of course, news from last month’s ball to be reported—the most splendiferously scandalous subject matter, in fact!
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First and foremost, I must report on Miss Alyssa Salinger. You might know her as an older Ravenclaw or a seasoned reporter for the Headliner. It appears that her date to the ball simply abandoned her—now, she might be a bit holier-than-thou, but even I = hadn’t imagined she might be that undesirable! He might have been driven off by her sudden spurt of egotism; apparently, Miss Salinger tore her designer dress apart! ───────────────────

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What self-respecting member of wizarding society would perform such an abhorrent act!? I must say, I don’t blame her date for leaving her. ─────────────────────── For another ball story, we could question why Koldovstoretz headmaster Aulis Vorozheykin appeared half-naked—the theme was pirates and the ocean, not the wild! Perhaps my standards are too high, but he had every opportunity to be a swashbuckler, and he squandered the chance. ───────────────────────

================================ Of course, this would hardly be an article professing the truth if it did not reveal something about our Editor-in-Chief Silas

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NEWSFLASH────────────────── ────────────────by Oonagh Brown =======Quidditch Quandaries Or should I say Captain Quandaries? How many changes amongst captains have there been, huh? Both Slytherin captains quit at the same time, after just one game. That could hardly be a coincidence. This leaves the Slytherin team in the air, so to speak, and promises plenty of weak links for other players to pick the team apart and out of the sky in further games. Not that Slytherin would have stood a chance against Gryffindor regardless of any drama behind the scenes. That would just be their wishful thinking. ════════════════════════════

Norwood. Perhaps it would be a bit uncouth to directly call him a cow, but what am I meant to do when he eats grass? It seems to be due to his recent discharge from the role of prefect. Fitting, as he produced a bladed article and threatened someone! However, eating grass to cope seems a bit savage, doesn’t it?

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As always, our time together must end, but I look forward to divulging more tantalising truths next month!

Remember: I see and hear all.

Lady Audentia

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

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The Ethics of Journalism
by an anonymous author

Throughout our 44 issues of the Hogwarts Headliner, never once have we discussed the pillars of journalism: its ethics and standards. As writers of the Headliner, we are, to some degree, journalists, and therefore the principles of ethics and good practice apply to us as well. We hold power, and that power must be guided in just directions. For relevance and context, I shall do my best to summarise the roughly 400 codes with justice.

❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Ethical journalism is built on five foundations. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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The moral compass of our paper, ethical journalism, draws the fine line between informing the public and manipulating them. In order to ensure that the pursuit of truth is done with integrity, accountability, and fairness, ethical journalism is built on five foundations:

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1. Truth and Accuracy: a journalist’s most base yet most sacred duty, reporting is a pursuit of truth. Unless stated as fiction, every story must be built on verified facts, including double-checking, cross-referencing, and correcting factual errors. Gossip certainly has no place in a paper with a circulation like the Headliner. The imperative to be right must always prevail.

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2. Independence: journalists must remain free from serving outside powers or patrons, or sponsors.

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The media is of public interest, and must resist pressure from other forces. We are representatives of Hogwarts’s and the world’s reality, not lap dogs.

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3. Fairness and Impartiality: while the Headliner does publish opinion pieces, all factual reports must remain free from personal opinion and their unfair influences. All relevant sides of the story must be written on and all bias or prejudice avoided. The world must be represented as what it is: a contradictory reality.

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4. Humanity: journalists must remember that they are writing stories about people. They are our fellow humans, not mere characters for us to analyse, discuss, or derive entertainment from.

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There is a balance between the people’s right to knowledge and the individual’s right to privacy. No slander, no graphic images, no identification of vulnerable sources may be published. xx

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5. Accountability and Transparency: journalists must hold themselves and their institutions to the same high standards they demand of others. They must be accountable to their audience and transparent in their process and possible mistakes.

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While the Headliner is not a publisher of diabolical columns, there is a reason I have come to address this issue.

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Recently, it has come to my attention that the Headliner has produced a slandering piece. This, unfortunately, is not even the first in an installation of “rumours” that have been the fad as of late. Foremost, as an obvious breach of truth and humanity, this breaks multiple foundations listed above, which eventually would only cause the entire article to crumble. It treats the students and professor mentioned as a source for entertainment, while also being false in the first place. I, representing my team and the author, issue a formal apology to those affected. I advise readers that, should another such article be published, please disregard it.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. I, representing my team and the author, issue a formal apology to those affected. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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x────────────────x Remember: slander is not a means to gain power but an indicator of the lowliest of behaviours. xx	x	x────────────────x It is a tool saved for those who find their argument too weak to stand on its own merits and their character too hollow to engage in earnest debate.	x	x────────────────x To wield slander, deliberately twisting the truth to destroy someone’s reputation, is a coward’s act that confesses one’s own intellectual and moral bankruptcy.
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To spread information is the greatest honour, privilege, and power in society, and, with such, comes an even greater responsibility.

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We will forever stand to support the truth, forever shared ethically.

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

PAGE 07.

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Magical & Muggle Meals: Beautifichicken
by Aly Salinger

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With the success of the summer’s Forgetfulness Potion Ice Cream—at least, we think it was successful; we might have forgotten—our Headliner readers have been clamouring for more ways to combine our favourite brews and concoctions into delicious meals. Well, do we ever have another one for you: Beautification Potion Butter Chicken, also known as Beautifichicken! Beautifichicken is a perfect wintry meal in so many ways. Not only will the warm, delectable spices help to stave off the cold outside, but the added Beautification Potion is sure to keep a delightfully rosy flush to your cheeks, make sure your skin doesn’t get dry and cracked, and maintain a luscious shine to your lips, eyes, and hair all throughout the snowy season! ─────────────────────────────

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Beautifichicken
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Serves: 4
Time: 1.5 hours (or longer)

Ingredients: ▫ 1 pound boneless fire-breathing chicken** (*chicken) ▫ ⅓ cup Greek yogurt ▫ 2 tablespoons olive oil ▫ ½ teaspoon paprika ▫ ¾ teaspoon salt ▫ 1 tablespoon lemon juice ▫ 1 tablespoon grated ginger ▫ 1 tablespoon grated garlic ▫ 1 piece cinnamon ▫ 1 teaspoon chili powder ▫ 1 teaspoon sugar ▫ ½ teaspoon cumin ▫ 2 teaspoons garam masala or similar spice blend ▫ 2 tablespoons dragon milk butter (*cow butter) ▫ ⅔ cup heavy dragon cream (*heavy cream) ▫ 1 small onion ▫ 1 cup canned tomato purée ▫ 1 bottle Beautification Potion***

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* Muggle alternative.
** Preferably dead, as handling a live fire-breathing chicken is likely to result in burns.
*** If making Muggle version, simply omit entirely.

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Directions
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𝟭| Combine ginger and garlic. Set aside. 𝟮| Chop chicken into 1-inch pieces. (Thoroughly wash hands and space before and after.) Marinate chicken pieces in lemon juice, paprika, and ¼ teaspoon salt; let sit for 20 minutes in a cool place (*refrigerator). 𝟯| Add Greek yogurt, ½ of ginger-garlic mixture, 1 teaspoon garam masala, and 1 tablespoon olive oil. Allow to sit in cool place (*refrigerator) for an additional half-hour, or longer for deeper flavour (up to 12 hours). 𝟰| Chop onion (discarding skin) and sauté in 1 tablespoon olive oil for 5-10 minutes until golden. Allow to cool, then combine with tomato purée, ⅓ cup cream, and ¼ cup water; use your wand or Muggle blender to combine fully. 𝟱| Remove chicken from cool place and allow to reach room temperature while you perform steps 6 and 7. 𝟲| Melt butter in a cauldron over a low fire, then stir in remainder of ginger-garlic mixture. Cook for 1-2 minutes, then extinguish fire and add chili powder, ──────────────────────────

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remainder of garam masala, cumin, and blended tomato mixture. 𝟳| Stir well to combine. Put cauldron back on fire (turned to medium-hot) until it boils, then reduce flame to low and cook, stirring occasionally to avoid burning until the sauce has thickened. Once thick, add 1.5 cups hot water and allow to simmer for 10 minutes. Add more hot water to thin out as needed. 𝟴| In a different cauldron while the sauce is simmering, add some extra butter or oil (just enough to cover the bottom) and cook the chicken pieces over a medium flame. Fry each piece in cauldron until marinade is dry and chicken is cooked through, turning as necessary so as to not burn them! 𝟵| When sauce is simmered and thick and all chicken has been cooked, add chicken to sauce. Put lid on cauldron and allow to simmer for 5-10 minutes, then add sugar and ½ teaspoon salt. Stir to combine. 𝟭𝟬| Take cauldron off of flame and stir in remainder of cream and Beautification Potion, then serve over rice or naan. Enjoy your newly warmed stomach and your newly beautiful face! ──────────────────────────

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07

PAGE 08.

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Toasty Treats to Fight Off Cold Noses=────────────────────────
─────────────────────────────────────────=by Alyss Gilmour

As the chill infiltrates the air we breathe, the frost settles onto every surface each night, and our noses turn cold whilst going for a walk, we search for the proper ways to escape the numbness creeping into our fingers and toes. Luckily, I have the perfect answer: toasty treats!

Treats can come in a variety of forms, and their definition and standards depend on the person. Mine, which we will be following throughout this article, are as follows: It must have enough sugar to make your parents purse their lips together in slight disapproval. It must either be warm or room temperature; it cannot be cold. It should leave crumbs, a stickiness, or sugary residue somewhere it shouldn’t be. That is how you know you enjoyed it. Now, on to the fun! I’ll be letting you know what is worth buying that fulfils all of these requirements around Hogwarts. =================================

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🗲NEWSFLASH─────────────── ───────────────by Oonagh Brown =The 5th Hestridge Winter Charity Gala Who knew that Wizarding World Charity Galas were a thing? Well, apparently, they are, and even more apparently, this one has been a thing for at least four years, making this one the fifth! Apparently, though, they are very “exclusive” in the way they have been handing out their invites. Kind of ironic, though unsurprising. Their goal is the awareness for and the extension of part-human rights, which appears to be a fairly noble cause within this magical world, or so people who grew up apart from it are quick to learn. ═══════════════════════════

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Let’s start in Diagon Alley. When it comes to shop options, we’re rather limited—Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour only sells treats for the summertime, giving us nothing to properly enjoy during the colder months, unless you want a brain freeze. = The other option in Diagon Alley would be found in Dogweed and Deathcap. Not the place I expected either, but bear with me. Cherries! Although cherries may feel rather strange for a toasty treat, this little storefront still has more to offer! They have a wide range of ingredients that can be used in a couple of recipes: camomile, cinnamon, lavender, mint, and more! = = Overall, Diagon Alley leaves something to be desired in terms of available toasty treats. 4/10. ────────────────────────────────────────

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Next, we visit Hogsmeade. This place has a wide variety of shops, and quite a few are absolutely sure to offer the most delectable treats. I’ll be skipping The Three Broomsticks; despite some hope I had going in, they only offer a Butterbeer pint and jerky nugget. I find that to be rather disappointing, so onwards we travel to locate some more pleasing offerings. Honeydukes! Honeydukes offers a wide variety of candy, certain to boast an astounding sugar count and leave you with sticky sugar somewhere. I find it to be an excellent choice for your treats, though none are served as warm as I’d have hoped. ──────────────────────────────────────

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Now, we step through the alleys of Hogsmeade, and I’m delighted to report that I believe the very best toasty treats available to Hogwarts students have been located: Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop!

Only 7 sickles! =========

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This cosy little cafe offers cupcakes and cakes galore, along with warm tea and accompanying pastries. But my personal favourite would be the cappuccino and cinnamon roll. You can go ahead and hand the cappuccino over to an older student or parent who actually enjoys the bitter taste of coffee. Blegh. And you, my dear comrade, can enjoy the lovely dessert

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that comes with it: the sugary, warm, and—of course—tasty cinnamon roll. As a treat connoisseur, I am proud to state that we have found our winner! Checking all three boxes, Madam Puddifoot’s leaves little to desire. Pop on over to the place today! I hope to see you all there, during these hard times of frosty windows and chilly fingers.

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NEW LEADERS PG. 02

GOSSIP PG. 05

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ETHICS PG. 06

MEALS PG. 07