19 Feb 2020, 18:01
Get Well So I Can Kill You
Future dated to the evening of February 28th, 2020, after the events of "Noxious Exhaustion" and immediately after the events of "Unwelcome Meetings" took place when Jack intercepted @Ruka Tân and @Selim Faust on their way to the hospital wing, dragging the former and carrying the latter the rest of the way there.
As soon as they entered the hospital wing, Jack gently eased Selim off his back and onto the nearest unoccupied bed. Once that was taken care of, he tugged Ruka to the next bed over and pointed to the mattress.
"Sit."
It was indisputably a command; one that allowed no room for protest or argument when paired with the frigid countenance and stern tone of its speaker.
After that single word, the redhead turned to go find a nurse and speak to her regarding the ailments of his schoolmates, keeping an eye on the pair of boys out the corner of his eye.
Naturally, Jack was pissed off. He was furious at Selim and Ruka both, but most of all, he was furious with himself. How could he have let it come to this? Because he'd thought the two had had enough sense to take care of themselves? Because he'd trusted them to look out for their own well-being? Was that really so much to ask? And yet, couldn't he have foreseen all of this happening if he'd really tried?
He'd known from the start that Selim had very unhealthy tendencies, practically killing himself with his lack of sleep and then being foolish enough not to tell anyone about how prone he was to having panic attacks and assulting others in the process. Jack had known that, but he'd assumed that since Selim had seemed to have gotten through life just fine up until then, he must have been doing something well, right?
Wrong. If Selim had had a decent family life, he wouldn't have been the way he was now. The signs had all been there. How could Jack have been so stupid as to ignore them? Like how the raven-haired boy flinched when he was hugged, how he only seemed to care for his brother who was never around, how he seemed to resent the rest of his family, and how he claimed to have never known what it was like to sleep around someone else because he was always alone. Most of all, though, Jack should have paid attention to how upset the other Slytherin had become at nearly strangling their dorm mate to death - a boy he hadn't even liked - and calling himself a monster because of it.
It should have been known to Jack then. Selim didn't know how to take care of himself; only how to cope as best he could on his own. And if he considered himself a monster, better off dead than a danger to anyone else, not to mention free from the pain of his own emotions, what more reason could he have had to want to stay alive? He didn't even seem to believe his own family cared about him. Selim didn't know that he needed help or support, much less how to ask for it. How could he know what he was missing if he'd never had it in the first place?
And then there was Ruka - Jack's experiment. Obviously the second-year had been in dire need since Jack had met him, and not because he lacked in wealth. The fire-dancer was clever, quick-witted, talented, and an expert at survival, but that wasn't enough. He had lost the most important things to him; his will to live had seemed to die along with his father. Jack had found it fascinating how Ruka, though so similar to him in so many ways, could also be so opposite. Unlike Jack, who believed that a strong bond with another would be the death of him, his logic, and his survival instincts, for Ruka, such a bond seemed to be the only thing that would save him - a new reason for him to want to live on.
So he'd done what he could to test if that was really the truth. He'd done his best to make sure Ruka ate well, slept enough, had a place to stay over the summer, avoided obsessing over his late father's picture so much, and continued to keep said father's memory alive by still practicing the fire-dancing techniques taught by him. Jack had been very proud of Ruka's progress, especially as the older boy had begun to put himself out there more, performing in public again and mingling with other students. He'd become so social that Jack had begun to think his experiment had come to an end.
At the Valentine's Tea Party, having seen Ruka surrounded by so many friendly, new, unfamiliar people, the Slytherin had decided the Gryffindor didn't need him anymore. This seemed especially true when Ruka had gotten hurt, Jack had lost his sense of reason thanks to his outrage, and it was the other people at Ruka's table who were sensible enough to want to get him to the Hospital Wing. And what about Jack? Jack only wanted revenge. Yes, maybe Persephone had claimed Opeila was the reason she'd attacked Ruka, but the redhead thought he knew better. If Ruka hadn't become so sociable because of him - enough to attend an event without Jack by his side - he wouldn't have gotten hurt that day. Even if Jack had been with him, it wsa very possible someone might have attacked Ruka simply for associating with Jack.
Everything was a mess. Irritated with everything, Jack had distanced himself from both Selim and Ruka, certain that was the best course of action for both himself and them. Selim had become wary of him ever since he'd tried to 'teach him a lesson' with the Valentine's Day card, losing any trust that might have been built between them. And Ruka, after making other friends, had more than enough bonds to sustain him and other people to make sure he took care of himself. So how? How had it come to this?
It seemed that no matter what Jack did, he was damned. He couldn't care about people, but he couldn't not care about them either. Evidently, he couldn't expect to leave these two alone and trust that they would survive. Why did it seem like the only one who was selfish enough to have any real sense of preservation was himself? Was it because the other boys were still so young and open-hearted?
No, that couldn't have been it. They'd been hurt by the world; far too much. Perhaps they had just been beaten down too many times to even want to try to stand on their own now, let alone be able to. Jack's mother had told him something once - something about true strength being the ability to make oneself vulnerable to the world; to open up in order to show others that they, too, could be vulnerable without fear of being stabbed. Jack hadn't really understood at the time what had seemed to be such a contradiction, but the more he grew, the more he thought he knew what it meant. And the more he knew, the more he became certain he didn't have the true strength to do that.
Now, though, it seemed he had no choice. Selim and Ruka both made him vulnerable whether he wanted to be or not. There was nothing to be done for it. Maybe he was too young to not care, but regardless, he couldn't deny it anymore.
Once he finished talking to the nurses, they went to go do what they could for Ruka and Selim - getting out potions and administering spells in order to find out what was wrong and fix up the worst of their ailments as soon as possible. While they did so, Jack wandered away to a corner of the infirmary, falling, exhausted, into a chair off to the side. He leaned forward and put his face in his hands, his back to the others as his shoulders trembled and shook.
Last edited by Jack Burnett on 13 Apr 2020, 01:57, edited 1 time in total.
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
19 Feb 2020, 20:44
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett & @Ruka Tân
___ ___ ___
Selim felt himself get eased onto a matress. Immediately, he slumped, eyes close to drifting closed with exhaustion. His breath came out in wet rattles and he could barely focus on his surroundings. Faintly, he registered his dormmate speaking, a demand. He didn't know what order he had given, too busy fighting to keep his own breaths even, and steady.
Before he could sluggishly process much more, one of the nurses came to his side, running a standard diagnosis.
Turned out Selim had caught a stomach flu, a fever, and the startings of pneumonia. A few spells and potions from the nurse later, and he was cured. With his ailments gone, all that was left was his exhaustion, and how weak he had gotten from lack of solid food.
The nurse left his side, and Selim began to try and rest his body.
But not sleep.
He saw that thing lurking in the shadows of the hospital wing. His eyes locked onto it, something unseen to all but him. Humanoid, unattural, disgusting.
'NO, no, that's just a hallucination... nothing more, nothing less.... just my mind playing tricks on me...'
He clenched his eyes shut, sitting up slowly, arm trembling, he leaned against the headboard of the bed. Letting out a small puff of breath, he drank the glass of water that had been provided for him greedily. Upon finishing it, the sound of the glass being placed back down on the bedside filled the eerily quiet room.
The fog faintly cleared from his head, and he became a bit more aware of the situation.
Looking around blearily, he caught sight of his dormmate sitting in a dark corner of the infirmary, his head resting in his hands, face covered. His shoulder were trembling with an emotion Selim couldn't read.
Something, some odd, sharp feeling he didn't like, shot through him leaving him mildly confused. He shook the sensation off, and eased himself, eyes locked onto the redhead in the corner.
He didn't know why the fox was acting as he was, and he didn't really know how to react to his state. So, instead, he stayed silent, watching him, with a mildly detached expression. His face was blank, though his eyes remained half-lidded, as if he was constantly on the brink of falling into unconsciousness.
Whatever it was the fox was feeling, he would probably only trigger it if he tried to speak. So instead, he just waited for the redhead to recover enough to do more then sit and wallow in whatever emotion he was feeling. He wasn't sure what would happen when his dormmate recovered. Perhaps nothing, perhaps whatever he had pent up would burst out all at once in a messy breakdown, perhaps he would start lecturing him and the upperclassmen.
If it was the last option, Selim doubted that he'd care about whatever speech the fox gave, what's the point, when he barely knew him? Sure, the redhead knew more about him then Selim would like, but Selim knew nothing about him, had no bond with him beyond a contract he now saw purely as a means to an end.
That was the only thing that connected him to his dormmate now. Selim was largely left on his own once more. He'd survive, he'd always survived, alone. He didn't really feel sad about that fact, because that's all it was to him, a fact.
Selim was alone, he always had been, and he intended to keep it that way. His relationships were planned to not extend beyond business partners in the future, it made things easier, less messy.
Though, caring for himself was usually hit or miss. Usually he could handle his solitude, but occasionally, when the nightmares and memories became too much, he'd fall into a numb state. His health would deteriorate, until he became a shadow of what he once was, but he always caught himself before he wasted away fully into oblivion.
That's just how it was, he was alone with only his ambitions to keep him going, nothing more, nothing less.
Though he may end up being heir of his clan one day, despite his own goals. He still hadn't informed his parents of his plans to leave the clan when he came of age and build up his own life... He didn't know why he hadn't spoken to them yet.
A memory flashed through, the sound of a slap. It disappeared quickly.
He blinked as the sound seemed to echo in his ears, before softly closing his eyes for a moment. Perhaps that was why he hadn't told them yet...
He returned from his thoughts to staring at his dormmate expressionlessly, watching him as his form shook and trembled. Idley, he wondered what had gone through his mind that made him fall in to such a state. That internal curiosity quickly disappeared.
It was none of his business anymore.
He let out a puff of breath, turning his eyes away from the fox. His mind was unable to pay attention much to observing at that moment, still groggy. Instead, he rested against the headboard, eyes sliding shut, frame relaxing. He may have looked like he had fallen asleep, but keen eyes would easily be able to see he was still awake by watching the pattern of his breathing, too deep and paced to be sleeping.
He had fallen into a lovely state of not being unconscious nor awake, meditation, to be exact, it was quite relaxing...
He was still aware enough of his surroundings to react if an irregular noise was heard, but in this state his body got a bit more rest... his mind didn't though.
This state of meditation is what he had been using to replace sleep and keep functioning over the last three days. Though, of course, it wasn't enough, proven by the state he had been in a mere few moment ago quite obviously.
He took the slight period of rest among his unwelcome companions to recharge himself, even if slightly.
At least until his dormmate became aware once more.
___ ___ ___
Selim felt himself get eased onto a matress. Immediately, he slumped, eyes close to drifting closed with exhaustion. His breath came out in wet rattles and he could barely focus on his surroundings. Faintly, he registered his dormmate speaking, a demand. He didn't know what order he had given, too busy fighting to keep his own breaths even, and steady.
Before he could sluggishly process much more, one of the nurses came to his side, running a standard diagnosis.
Turned out Selim had caught a stomach flu, a fever, and the startings of pneumonia. A few spells and potions from the nurse later, and he was cured. With his ailments gone, all that was left was his exhaustion, and how weak he had gotten from lack of solid food.
The nurse left his side, and Selim began to try and rest his body.
But not sleep.
He saw that thing lurking in the shadows of the hospital wing. His eyes locked onto it, something unseen to all but him. Humanoid, unattural, disgusting.
'NO, no, that's just a hallucination... nothing more, nothing less.... just my mind playing tricks on me...'
He clenched his eyes shut, sitting up slowly, arm trembling, he leaned against the headboard of the bed. Letting out a small puff of breath, he drank the glass of water that had been provided for him greedily. Upon finishing it, the sound of the glass being placed back down on the bedside filled the eerily quiet room.
The fog faintly cleared from his head, and he became a bit more aware of the situation.
Looking around blearily, he caught sight of his dormmate sitting in a dark corner of the infirmary, his head resting in his hands, face covered. His shoulder were trembling with an emotion Selim couldn't read.
Something, some odd, sharp feeling he didn't like, shot through him leaving him mildly confused. He shook the sensation off, and eased himself, eyes locked onto the redhead in the corner.
He didn't know why the fox was acting as he was, and he didn't really know how to react to his state. So, instead, he stayed silent, watching him, with a mildly detached expression. His face was blank, though his eyes remained half-lidded, as if he was constantly on the brink of falling into unconsciousness.
Whatever it was the fox was feeling, he would probably only trigger it if he tried to speak. So instead, he just waited for the redhead to recover enough to do more then sit and wallow in whatever emotion he was feeling. He wasn't sure what would happen when his dormmate recovered. Perhaps nothing, perhaps whatever he had pent up would burst out all at once in a messy breakdown, perhaps he would start lecturing him and the upperclassmen.
If it was the last option, Selim doubted that he'd care about whatever speech the fox gave, what's the point, when he barely knew him? Sure, the redhead knew more about him then Selim would like, but Selim knew nothing about him, had no bond with him beyond a contract he now saw purely as a means to an end.
That was the only thing that connected him to his dormmate now. Selim was largely left on his own once more. He'd survive, he'd always survived, alone. He didn't really feel sad about that fact, because that's all it was to him, a fact.
Selim was alone, he always had been, and he intended to keep it that way. His relationships were planned to not extend beyond business partners in the future, it made things easier, less messy.
Though, caring for himself was usually hit or miss. Usually he could handle his solitude, but occasionally, when the nightmares and memories became too much, he'd fall into a numb state. His health would deteriorate, until he became a shadow of what he once was, but he always caught himself before he wasted away fully into oblivion.
That's just how it was, he was alone with only his ambitions to keep him going, nothing more, nothing less.
Though he may end up being heir of his clan one day, despite his own goals. He still hadn't informed his parents of his plans to leave the clan when he came of age and build up his own life... He didn't know why he hadn't spoken to them yet.
A memory flashed through, the sound of a slap. It disappeared quickly.
He blinked as the sound seemed to echo in his ears, before softly closing his eyes for a moment. Perhaps that was why he hadn't told them yet...
He returned from his thoughts to staring at his dormmate expressionlessly, watching him as his form shook and trembled. Idley, he wondered what had gone through his mind that made him fall in to such a state. That internal curiosity quickly disappeared.
It was none of his business anymore.
He let out a puff of breath, turning his eyes away from the fox. His mind was unable to pay attention much to observing at that moment, still groggy. Instead, he rested against the headboard, eyes sliding shut, frame relaxing. He may have looked like he had fallen asleep, but keen eyes would easily be able to see he was still awake by watching the pattern of his breathing, too deep and paced to be sleeping.
He had fallen into a lovely state of not being unconscious nor awake, meditation, to be exact, it was quite relaxing...
He was still aware enough of his surroundings to react if an irregular noise was heard, but in this state his body got a bit more rest... his mind didn't though.
This state of meditation is what he had been using to replace sleep and keep functioning over the last three days. Though, of course, it wasn't enough, proven by the state he had been in a mere few moment ago quite obviously.
He took the slight period of rest among his unwelcome companions to recharge himself, even if slightly.
At least until his dormmate became aware once more.
Last edited by Selim Faust on 19 Feb 2020, 22:28, edited 2 times in total.
"False Face must Hide what the Heart Doth Know." -Macbeth
S.F
19 Feb 2020, 21:01
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett, @Selim Faust
After all this time feeling desperate about the fact that Jack was avoiding him, Ruka couldn’t help but feel uneasy now that they were actually in the same room together.
It was in the way Jack barely looked at him, snapping a single word in his direction upon entering the Hospital Wing and finding Selim a bed to lie down on.
“I-,” he started, but the look on Jack’s face made him close his mouth again almost immediately. This wasn’t the time for arguments, clearly, so he did as he was told, sitting down on the bed behind him and waiting patiently as Jack went to talk to the nurses, clearly asking for help not only for Selim but also for him because the next thing he knew he was being fed something that suspiciously tasted like an entire meal pressed into a single potion, and hands fussed around him so quickly it almost made him dizzy.
He let it happen, didn’t have the strength to fight it anyway, and if he was being honest it was kind of nice to feel as if his stomach was actually full for once.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Selim, being fussed over even more than he was, but he couldn’t make out exactly what the nurse was doing and he didn’t think it was any of his business anyway, so he focused his attention back on Jack again, who had moved a little further away from them, facing away as if unwilling to look at either of them.
Ruka took a deep breath and waited for the nurse currently taking his temperature to move away, nodding to herself as she allowed him to get off the bed again. Clearly his lack of energy wasn’t the most pressing issue in the Hospital Wing.
It took him a moment to actually get off the bed, feeling somehow bound to it by the Slytherin’s command for him to sit there, but after a short while he decided that he wasn’t a dog and didn’t need to show Jack any obedience, and for heaven’s sake, the Slytherin seemed to be trembling, and no command or request in the world could have made Ruka stay where he was.
He carefully moved towards Jack, socked feet only making minimal noise on the ground. Not wanting to startle the other boy, he sat down in a chair next to him, eyes fixed on the ground. Slowly he pulled up his legs against his chest, curling up on himself like a small child.
He felt tiny in this moment.
Tiny and guilty and horrible.
He didn’t dare look over at Jack, didn’t want to see the look on his face, the anger, the disappointment, the... whatever it was that the other boy felt.
There was so much he wanted to say, so many things that had been running through his mind ever since the Valentine’s Party.
Where have you been?
You still have my picture!
Why did you just vanish?
Was I just a game to you?
There was so much frustration inside him wanting to be let out, so many words just itching the tip of his tongue for him to let them escape.
“I missed you,” was what he blurted out instead, words escaping him before he could stop them.
Now, even more than before, he really wanted to avoid any eye contact with the Slytherin.
He was pathetic and it had been exactly the side of him he hadn’t wanted Jack to see. The side of him he’d begged Flash to not reveal to him the night he’d tried to break into the Slytherin Common Room.
Those were exactly the words that would most likely make Jack run for the hills all over again.
But he couldn’t take them back anymore.
Pressing his face against his knees, he took a deep, rattling breath. He still wasn’t sure what caused Jack to tremble like that - Tears, rage, exhaustion? - and he was scared to find out, so maybe it was best if he just blacked out his surroundings for a moment as he waited for the Slytherin to - inevitably - explode.
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
23 Feb 2020, 04:32
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Ruka Tân and @Selim Faust
At the sound of Ruka's admission, Jack tensed, frozen, as if he'd been struck. After about a minute, however, he took a deep, shuddering breath and brushed his face against the sleeve of his robes before silently getting back on his feet to confront the Gryffindor.
Looming over Ruka, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the other boy's shoulder, exhaling long and slow. "I missed you, too," Jack said, words steadier and calmer than his shaking body and breath from before. Then he straightened back up again to reach into his pocket. Carefully withdrawing a small, well-kept notebook, he flipped to the back pages where the picture of Jon Tân was sealed in a tiny, clear bag and preserved between the crisp, new pages. Jack plucked the sealed bag from the book and offered it to Ruka, waiting for him to take it.
After that, the Slytherin reached into his other pocket and retrieved a shining pendant on a simple, sturdy black cord. The pendant turned out to be in the shape of a lively flame; the outermost part being a rose gold, the next being more of an orangish yellow gold, the next smallest being more of a pure yellow gold, and finally a white gold center at the heart of the fire. Jack held it in his palm for Ruka to see before pressing the center shape of white gold. The pendent popped open to reveal itself as a locket with a specially-sized, miniature version of Jon Tân's photo inside.
"This is yours, now," Jack told Ruka, also offering it to him. "I had asked Fangs for it as a favor. It took a little longer than I thought to get to you, though, because my parents had to scan and photoshop the picture to make sure it was the right size. Seems like that's still something slightly easier to accomplish with muggle technology than wizard magic - or at least more simple to do, anyway." Hazel eyes travelled to where the black-haired boy lay lying on his bed before returning their focus to Ruka.
"I had figured that you could keep the locket with you so you didn't have to take that picture wherever you went and worry about it getting damaged. That's why there's a black cord instead of a chain so it doesn't chafe and you can sleep with it if you like. The idea was that you would remember to keep him close to your heart without necessarily having to see him. And, hopefully with time, you wouldn't need to look at the picture at all to be comforted by his memory. You could just...look at it whenever you wanted...instead of feeling you needed to."
Forcing himself to inhale and exhale deeply once more, he put a hand on Ruka's shoulder, clasping it firmly and meaningfully, before at last allowing it to slide off as he strode toward Selim's bed.
Jack stood at the other Slytherin's bedside for a long minute, his expression unreadable as he stared. Finally, he climbed into the bed alongside his peer, muttering, "Shove over, Fangs. I know you're not asleep."
At the sound of Ruka's admission, Jack tensed, frozen, as if he'd been struck. After about a minute, however, he took a deep, shuddering breath and brushed his face against the sleeve of his robes before silently getting back on his feet to confront the Gryffindor.
Looming over Ruka, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the other boy's shoulder, exhaling long and slow. "I missed you, too," Jack said, words steadier and calmer than his shaking body and breath from before. Then he straightened back up again to reach into his pocket. Carefully withdrawing a small, well-kept notebook, he flipped to the back pages where the picture of Jon Tân was sealed in a tiny, clear bag and preserved between the crisp, new pages. Jack plucked the sealed bag from the book and offered it to Ruka, waiting for him to take it.
After that, the Slytherin reached into his other pocket and retrieved a shining pendant on a simple, sturdy black cord. The pendant turned out to be in the shape of a lively flame; the outermost part being a rose gold, the next being more of an orangish yellow gold, the next smallest being more of a pure yellow gold, and finally a white gold center at the heart of the fire. Jack held it in his palm for Ruka to see before pressing the center shape of white gold. The pendent popped open to reveal itself as a locket with a specially-sized, miniature version of Jon Tân's photo inside.
"This is yours, now," Jack told Ruka, also offering it to him. "I had asked Fangs for it as a favor. It took a little longer than I thought to get to you, though, because my parents had to scan and photoshop the picture to make sure it was the right size. Seems like that's still something slightly easier to accomplish with muggle technology than wizard magic - or at least more simple to do, anyway." Hazel eyes travelled to where the black-haired boy lay lying on his bed before returning their focus to Ruka.
"I had figured that you could keep the locket with you so you didn't have to take that picture wherever you went and worry about it getting damaged. That's why there's a black cord instead of a chain so it doesn't chafe and you can sleep with it if you like. The idea was that you would remember to keep him close to your heart without necessarily having to see him. And, hopefully with time, you wouldn't need to look at the picture at all to be comforted by his memory. You could just...look at it whenever you wanted...instead of feeling you needed to."
Forcing himself to inhale and exhale deeply once more, he put a hand on Ruka's shoulder, clasping it firmly and meaningfully, before at last allowing it to slide off as he strode toward Selim's bed.
Jack stood at the other Slytherin's bedside for a long minute, his expression unreadable as he stared. Finally, he climbed into the bed alongside his peer, muttering, "Shove over, Fangs. I know you're not asleep."
Last edited by Jack Burnett on 3 Mar 2020, 18:31, edited 1 time in total.
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
23 Feb 2020, 05:08
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett & @Ruka Tân
___ ___ ___
Selim had faintly registered the upperclassmen and his dormmate speaking. He largely ignored it though, not really caring about the two. His focus was sent internally, feeling his body, how his heart beat against his chest, how his lungs took in air before it was pushed out by his diaphragm, how the slight air currents in the hospital wing brushed against any of his exposed skin.
Simple feelings, calming ones, reassuring that he was, indeed, still alive.
Sometimes he needed to be reminded of that.
He tensed as someone got into his bed without warning, placing himself under the covers beside him. A voice spoke, immediately identifying who had done so"Shove over, Fangs. I know you're not asleep."
Jack.
His eyes lazily opened, though his form didn't loosen. Lethargically, he looked over at the redhead beside him, not reacting much to his odd actions beyond a raised brow. He did scoot over though, more for his own comfort then the fox's.
"You do realize there are other beds in the hospital wing to rest of if you're tired, Fox." He spoke, voice betraying no emotion, His eyes drifted over to the Gryffindor boy, studying him, before sliding closed again. "What do you want?"
A simple question, one that shouldn't be too hard to answer.
He began to exercise his previously strained lungs, taking rhythmic inhales, and letting out steady exhales, relaxing his heartbeat, and muscles.
Despite outward appearances, he was keeping his attention on the redhead beside him, mentally calculating ways to evade him if he tried to attack.
This had become sort of a ritual for him whenever he had previously been around his dormmate. Ever since that night, he made sure he was ready for any attacks from him. It was more paranoia making him do this, then logical reasoning.
He was still constantly hyper-aware of the going ons around him, the possible enemies in the shadows, the hidden assassins in the crowds. Especially after the night when they were attacked by those cursed spiders as they felled his peers one after another other.
His paranoia had been worse then it was after the Valentine's incident, and honestly, it was probably the reasons his nightmares and the Sallow Man had gotten worse.
A shudder ran through him, interrupting his breathing.
He paused, before continuing his exhale, though it was a bit more strained.
The constant fear was taking a toll on his body. Making his insides seem to shrivel up, making him want to cringe back and lock himself away in that abandoned classroom once more. That thing always lurking in the back of his mind, that primal fear never-ending.
His breath hitched again, and a grimace made its way past his masks and onto his face. Steadily, he sat straight, bringing his knees up and resting his face in his hands, hair covering his visage as he tried to calm his erratic heartbeat down.
God, this fear was more exhausting then his lack of sleep. He was constantly emotionally drained, and these outbursts of emotion came more often after extending periods of being smothered down by himself.
He was fucking tired of it.
But he honestly saw no way of getting out of the cycle, he felt trapped, and he hated it.
He let out a shuddering breath, shoulders easing.
All he could do was endure it.
'But he wasn't sure how much longer he could last.'
___ ___ ___
Selim had faintly registered the upperclassmen and his dormmate speaking. He largely ignored it though, not really caring about the two. His focus was sent internally, feeling his body, how his heart beat against his chest, how his lungs took in air before it was pushed out by his diaphragm, how the slight air currents in the hospital wing brushed against any of his exposed skin.
Simple feelings, calming ones, reassuring that he was, indeed, still alive.
Sometimes he needed to be reminded of that.
He tensed as someone got into his bed without warning, placing himself under the covers beside him. A voice spoke, immediately identifying who had done so"Shove over, Fangs. I know you're not asleep."
Jack.
His eyes lazily opened, though his form didn't loosen. Lethargically, he looked over at the redhead beside him, not reacting much to his odd actions beyond a raised brow. He did scoot over though, more for his own comfort then the fox's.
"You do realize there are other beds in the hospital wing to rest of if you're tired, Fox." He spoke, voice betraying no emotion, His eyes drifted over to the Gryffindor boy, studying him, before sliding closed again. "What do you want?"
A simple question, one that shouldn't be too hard to answer.
He began to exercise his previously strained lungs, taking rhythmic inhales, and letting out steady exhales, relaxing his heartbeat, and muscles.
Despite outward appearances, he was keeping his attention on the redhead beside him, mentally calculating ways to evade him if he tried to attack.
This had become sort of a ritual for him whenever he had previously been around his dormmate. Ever since that night, he made sure he was ready for any attacks from him. It was more paranoia making him do this, then logical reasoning.
He was still constantly hyper-aware of the going ons around him, the possible enemies in the shadows, the hidden assassins in the crowds. Especially after the night when they were attacked by those cursed spiders as they felled his peers one after another other.
His paranoia had been worse then it was after the Valentine's incident, and honestly, it was probably the reasons his nightmares and the Sallow Man had gotten worse.
A shudder ran through him, interrupting his breathing.
He paused, before continuing his exhale, though it was a bit more strained.
The constant fear was taking a toll on his body. Making his insides seem to shrivel up, making him want to cringe back and lock himself away in that abandoned classroom once more. That thing always lurking in the back of his mind, that primal fear never-ending.
His breath hitched again, and a grimace made its way past his masks and onto his face. Steadily, he sat straight, bringing his knees up and resting his face in his hands, hair covering his visage as he tried to calm his erratic heartbeat down.
God, this fear was more exhausting then his lack of sleep. He was constantly emotionally drained, and these outbursts of emotion came more often after extending periods of being smothered down by himself.
He was fucking tired of it.
But he honestly saw no way of getting out of the cycle, he felt trapped, and he hated it.
He let out a shuddering breath, shoulders easing.
All he could do was endure it.
'But he wasn't sure how much longer he could last.'
"False Face must Hide what the Heart Doth Know." -Macbeth
S.F
23 Feb 2020, 07:27
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett, @Selim Faust
The silence that followed Ruka’s words felt like it stretched over years, and for a moment he actually thought Jack was ignoring him completely, that maybe there was something inherently broken between them that made the other Slytherin want nothing to do with him anymore at all.
Until Jack got on his feet - Ruka assumed to leave - and faced him with an expression he hadn’t seen on the Slytherin before. The next thing he knew Jack’s head was resting against his shoulder, and the sudden physical contact - however small - made him tense for a second.
Then, just as Jack pulled away again, Ruka lifted a hand uselessly unsure what he had wanted to do with it. After Jack’s admission that he had missed him too, he felt like he needed to do something; Hug the other boy, or maybe slap him for having started to avoid him in the first place.
He didn’t do either, the hand instead falling to the fedora on top of his head to take it off and place it next to him on the arm rest of his chair. He slowly, nervously ran a hand through his hair as he fixed green eyes on hazel to try and figure out what exactly was going on inside Jack.
Curiously, Ruka watched as the Slytherin pulled out a notebook, and from in between its pages what seemed to be a transparent plastic bag which...
Ruka took it with much more reservation than he had imagined himself having at that moment.
It was his picture, kept safe just like Jack had said he would, zipped away in a protective layer and just the way he remembered it.
The emotions tumbling over him at finally seeing his picture again were so overwhelming that Ruka didn’t even know how to react - For days, no, a couple of weeks he had gone crazy for just the sight of his picture, and now he had it back again and all he could think about was how horrible he felt for ever assuming that Jack hadn’t had anything but the best intentions in keeping it.
As if his reunion with the picture wasn’t enough, Jack seemed to reach for something else in his pocket, eventually pulling out a... a necklace?
Ruka frowned for a moment before his eyes fell on the flame shaped pendant, beautiful shades of gold shimmering in the light like an actual flame.
When Jack seemed to open the pendant with what seemed to be a single touch, Ruka couldn’t help the way his body trembled in response.
Right there, perfectly tailored to fit into the flame shape, was his picture, just smaller, more compact, shiny and new unlike the original copy which was showing signs of use on every edge.
He slowly, uncertainly, reached out to take the necklace by the black cord, letting this pendant settle in the palm of his hand. It was the most delicate, most beautiful thing Ruka had ever held before, much less been able to call his.
He stared at it in awe, Jack’s words making his eyes water lightly.
It was a present.
Days spent thinking Jack might never return his picture to him again, and here he now had two copies of it; one of which he’d be able to bring with him wherever he wanted without even needing to look at it.
“Thank you,” he rasped out, unable to look at Jack directly in fear of bursting into tears. His mind felt so tired just trying to keep up with the happenings of the last hour, and his emotions had been so completely out of control recently...
He closed the pendant and clutched it close to his chest for a moment, eyelids fluttering shut in exhaustion.
He had never really gotten a gift before, especially not one so valuable, and not this thoughtful, and had it been under any other circumstances he would have wrapped his arms around Jack immediately in the tightest hug he had ever given.
In this case, however, he just held onto the pedant with shaky hands, hoping Jack could read in his face how much this meant to him.
As Jack moved away to instead pay attention to Selim, Ruka clumsily attempted to fasten the necklace around his neck, but it took a few tries, and by the time he looked up again, Jack had made himself comfortable in his dorm mate’s bed.
Ruka watched the scene for a second, eyes soft and tired. Selim had said that he’d been avoiding Jack, so he assumed the two boys most likely had a lot of stuff to talk about and he didn’t want to pry.
Instead he leaned back in his chair, one hand clasped around the pendant around his neck, the other freeing the original picture from its protective bag to just stare at it for a while, mind finally as at ease again as it hadn’t been in forever.
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
25 Feb 2020, 18:39
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Ruka Tân and @Selim Faust
"No duh, Fangs," the redhead mumbled in response as Selim moved over. "But you and that one are the reasons I'm tired, so I think you should take responsibility." Once he had enough space, he urged Ruka over with a beckoning finger, encouraging the smaller boy to join them on the bed.
"What I want is for you to actually get some restful sleep," Jack told the snake. "Even if I have to ask the nurses to give you a sleeping draught. But hopefully it won't come to that, will it?"
He watched as his dorm mate tried and failed a few times to get his breathing under control. Eventually, Selim sat up and pulled his knees in, pressing his face into his palms. Jack sighed and sat up next to him.
"When I sent that photo and locket to my parents to have them make a picture to fit it, I also asked them to look up some stuff on sleep paralysis for me," he said, watching the other Slytherin. "They told me that usually cases of sleep paralysis aren't serious, but medical attention should be sought when it happens regularly, there's anxiety about going to sleep, difficulty falling asleep, or when an individual falls asleep suddenly or feels unusually sleepy during the day." He gave Selim a knowing look. "Sound familiar?"
He readjusted the covers around himself and the other boys. "Seeing as we don't really have the best access to the sort of medical attention specializing in that sort of thing here and now, though, my parents told me some other things. Sleep paralysis triggers can include stress, sleep deprivation, and irregular sleeping patterns. There's also no specific treatment for it, but stress management, maintaining a regular sleep schedule, and practicing good sleep habits can reduce the chances of it happening."
Jack reached into his pocket to take out the notebook he had previously kept Ruka's photo of his dad in. Turning to the front page, he read, "Keep sleeping and waking time consistent. Ensure a comfortable sleeping environment with suitable bedding, sleepwear, and a clean, dark, cool bedroom. Get good daylight exposure during waking hours - definitely something we're going to have to work on," he interjected, glancing at his peer.
"Avoid naps after 3:00 pm and for longer than 90 minutes. No eating heavy evening meals or eating anything within 2 hours of bedtime. Exercise daily, but not within 2 hours of bedtime. And finally, include a calming activity in the bedtime ritual, such as reading or listening to relaxing music." He held out the paper to Selim. "I think that's do-able. Do you?"
"No duh, Fangs," the redhead mumbled in response as Selim moved over. "But you and that one are the reasons I'm tired, so I think you should take responsibility." Once he had enough space, he urged Ruka over with a beckoning finger, encouraging the smaller boy to join them on the bed.
"What I want is for you to actually get some restful sleep," Jack told the snake. "Even if I have to ask the nurses to give you a sleeping draught. But hopefully it won't come to that, will it?"
He watched as his dorm mate tried and failed a few times to get his breathing under control. Eventually, Selim sat up and pulled his knees in, pressing his face into his palms. Jack sighed and sat up next to him.
"When I sent that photo and locket to my parents to have them make a picture to fit it, I also asked them to look up some stuff on sleep paralysis for me," he said, watching the other Slytherin. "They told me that usually cases of sleep paralysis aren't serious, but medical attention should be sought when it happens regularly, there's anxiety about going to sleep, difficulty falling asleep, or when an individual falls asleep suddenly or feels unusually sleepy during the day." He gave Selim a knowing look. "Sound familiar?"
He readjusted the covers around himself and the other boys. "Seeing as we don't really have the best access to the sort of medical attention specializing in that sort of thing here and now, though, my parents told me some other things. Sleep paralysis triggers can include stress, sleep deprivation, and irregular sleeping patterns. There's also no specific treatment for it, but stress management, maintaining a regular sleep schedule, and practicing good sleep habits can reduce the chances of it happening."
Jack reached into his pocket to take out the notebook he had previously kept Ruka's photo of his dad in. Turning to the front page, he read, "Keep sleeping and waking time consistent. Ensure a comfortable sleeping environment with suitable bedding, sleepwear, and a clean, dark, cool bedroom. Get good daylight exposure during waking hours - definitely something we're going to have to work on," he interjected, glancing at his peer.
"Avoid naps after 3:00 pm and for longer than 90 minutes. No eating heavy evening meals or eating anything within 2 hours of bedtime. Exercise daily, but not within 2 hours of bedtime. And finally, include a calming activity in the bedtime ritual, such as reading or listening to relaxing music." He held out the paper to Selim. "I think that's do-able. Do you?"
Last edited by Jack Burnett on 25 Feb 2020, 21:40, edited 2 times in total.
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
25 Feb 2020, 21:31
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett & @Ruka Tân
___ ___ ___
Selim was snapped out of his internal turmoil when the redhead spoke up, lifting his head slightly, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. The fox said that he was the reason his was tired, and he should take responsibility. Selim lightly scoffed, but said nothing in rebute, mind flashing back to the night he confronted the redhead.
Troublesome.
Then he saw his dormmate beckon the Gryffindor, and a scowl formed over his face. "Don't call him over here, this mattress is barely big enough for two of us, you Bothersome Fox." Honestly, he was almost falling off it at this point, it was a single sized bed for a reason.
The redhead went on, pulling out a notebook, and talking about ways to help sleep paralysis. After he finished Selim cast his eyes back down, shadowing them. He mulled over the information before letting out a deep sigh.
"This is more than just sleep paralysis, Fox. Sure, that's a big part of it, but there's other components that make me so scared of sleep... nightmares... bad memories." He forced himself to breath steadily once more. He kept his eyes away from the shadows of the room, afraid that he'd see that thing there. He rubbed his temples, glancing back up at his dormmate. Mind drifting back to his request from that night. Looking away, he ignored the clenching in his chest, teeth gritting.
Memories had risen, skimming the forefront of his mind, and he pulled further away from his dormmate as best as he could on the small bed they were on.
The reason for his aversion to physical contact had spiked in response to the topic of sleeping, making him curl into himself. He felt numb once more, the feelings behind his actions gone as his emotional turmoil dipped down, most likely going to climb up quickly again in the near future.
Despite that, his body still impulsively reacted to the memories, making motions that seemed oh so familiar to him, instinctive even, from how often he used to repeat them when he was recovering from from that event. It felt like bugs were crawling up his body, the sensation of not being comfortable in his skin, of feeling... tainted, returning after the years of him shoving such sensations down.
He crossed his arms, nails digging in, close to drawing blood had he not been wearing his Slytherin robes. He wanted to claw, make that feeling stop, but he knew it wouldn't.
His breathing hitched, frame tensing, taut as a bow string, knots most likely forming in his shoulder muscles. All he could hear was blood pumping in his ears, the pulse in his neck, still, he felt hollow.
It was like the sensation of being hot and cold at the same time.
His queasiness had returned, though not due to any physical ailment other then the sickness in his mind.
Memories gnawed at the fraying edges of his mind, the thought of them making him want to vomit. Cold sweat glistened on his skin, and he shivered slightly.
Still, he was numb.
___ ___ ___
Selim was snapped out of his internal turmoil when the redhead spoke up, lifting his head slightly, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. The fox said that he was the reason his was tired, and he should take responsibility. Selim lightly scoffed, but said nothing in rebute, mind flashing back to the night he confronted the redhead.
Troublesome.
Then he saw his dormmate beckon the Gryffindor, and a scowl formed over his face. "Don't call him over here, this mattress is barely big enough for two of us, you Bothersome Fox." Honestly, he was almost falling off it at this point, it was a single sized bed for a reason.
The redhead went on, pulling out a notebook, and talking about ways to help sleep paralysis. After he finished Selim cast his eyes back down, shadowing them. He mulled over the information before letting out a deep sigh.
"This is more than just sleep paralysis, Fox. Sure, that's a big part of it, but there's other components that make me so scared of sleep... nightmares... bad memories." He forced himself to breath steadily once more. He kept his eyes away from the shadows of the room, afraid that he'd see that thing there. He rubbed his temples, glancing back up at his dormmate. Mind drifting back to his request from that night. Looking away, he ignored the clenching in his chest, teeth gritting.
Memories had risen, skimming the forefront of his mind, and he pulled further away from his dormmate as best as he could on the small bed they were on.
The reason for his aversion to physical contact had spiked in response to the topic of sleeping, making him curl into himself. He felt numb once more, the feelings behind his actions gone as his emotional turmoil dipped down, most likely going to climb up quickly again in the near future.
Despite that, his body still impulsively reacted to the memories, making motions that seemed oh so familiar to him, instinctive even, from how often he used to repeat them when he was recovering from from that event. It felt like bugs were crawling up his body, the sensation of not being comfortable in his skin, of feeling... tainted, returning after the years of him shoving such sensations down.
He crossed his arms, nails digging in, close to drawing blood had he not been wearing his Slytherin robes. He wanted to claw, make that feeling stop, but he knew it wouldn't.
His breathing hitched, frame tensing, taut as a bow string, knots most likely forming in his shoulder muscles. All he could hear was blood pumping in his ears, the pulse in his neck, still, he felt hollow.
It was like the sensation of being hot and cold at the same time.
His queasiness had returned, though not due to any physical ailment other then the sickness in his mind.
Memories gnawed at the fraying edges of his mind, the thought of them making him want to vomit. Cold sweat glistened on his skin, and he shivered slightly.
Still, he was numb.
"False Face must Hide what the Heart Doth Know." -Macbeth
S.F
25 Feb 2020, 22:40
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Jack Burnett, @Selim Faust
Ruka’s eyes had gone a little out of focus as he stared at the picture he‘d been longing for for what seemed like months. His hand was still clasped tightly around the locket around his neck as he tried hard to fight the tears threatening to escape. He wasn‘t sure exactly what to do with himself in this moment aside from keeping his eyes focused on his dad‘s face on the picture until he was vaguely aware of being talked about, so he lifted his head and turned to look at Jack squeezed into the hospital bed next to Selim.
So the two of them were the reason Jack was tired? How rich coming from the kid who had decided to just up and leave for a couple of weeks without a word. Ruka decided to let the comment slide, hand squeezing around his locket. Jack had more than redeemed himself with this.
With a little confused head tilt he stood up as Jack beckoned him over with a finger. He tucked his picture into the pocket of his trousers and slowly took off his winter cloak, revealing the burns of various degrees on his hands, wrists and arms from all the stupid mistakes he‘d been making throughout his rehearsals during the last two weeks.
As he folded his cloak and put it down on the chair he‘d just been sitting on he registered Selim‘s voice telling Jack not to make Ruka come over.
It lit a little flame inside him, burning his chest with some kind of petty emotion.
Eyebrows raised in a frown Ruka stubbornly made his way over to the two boys anyway, eyeing the bed for any sort of space he could claim for himself. There was a minimum amount of mattress next to Jack he could have probably squeezed himself into, but not wanting to invade any personal space, he instead sat himself a little further down, around the height of Jack‘s knees, legs dangling off the side of the bed.
His own exhaustion made him want to just slide down onto the bed and close his eyes with the familiarity of Jack next to him, but as he listened to the conversation between the two Slytherins, he decided that his own exhaustion could wait.
He didn‘t know much about Selim aside from the fact that he was Jack‘s dorm mate and they had a contract concerning owing each other favours, but as he watched the two boys, Ruka felt like there was more to their relationship than a contract.
Terms like sleep paralysis were foreign to Ruka, but from the sound of it, it wasn‘t anything too pleasant. His thoughts drifted to the lake, how Selim had glanced around with paranoia filled eyes, had stared towards the forest as if there was something only he could see. He thought about the knives that were assumably still somewhere on his person.
Was Selim having hallucinations? Caused by sleep deprivation?
Ruka bit his bottom lip as he listened to Selim talk about bad memories and nightmares. This was all personal and he really wasn‘t supposed to be here. This was none of his business and Selim most likely wouldn’t be comfortable having this conversation with a practical stranger around.
He took a deep breath, awkwardly averting his eyes as he hand left the locket around his neck to instead bury itself in the sleeves of Jack‘s robes. „Should I go?“ he asked in a whisper, eyes flickering to Selim with concern.
It seemed like the other boy needed help, and best from someone he knew and could trust. With the gravity of this conversation looming over them Ruka would understand not being wanted there.
Additionally, maybe that way he would even be able to avoid getting lectured by Jack as well.
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
3 Mar 2020, 21:51
Get Well So I Can Kill You
@Ruka Tân and @Selim Faust
In spite of everything - the seriousness of the conditions he had found Selim and Ruka in, the mixture of negative emotions roiling in his chest and gut, the intensity of the conversation and situation at hand - Jack couldn't help a small laugh at the raven-haired student's uncharacteristically rude and direct protest regarding inviting Ruka on his bed.
"Hm? Jealous it's not just the two of us anymore?" he taunted with a bitter sneer. It was gone in the next second. "Well, guess what? Tân nearly died trying to carry your self-neglecting ass here on his own, no doubt in an attempt to satiate your wishes to keep your condition quiet, so you don't get the right to refuse him." Reaching over, he pulled his dorm mate closer and away from the bed's edge until he was practically seated on his lap. "Or me."
He rolled his eyes at the retort regarding Selim's issues being more than just sleep paralysis. "You think I don't know that? Me? After all I've had to help you deal with?" he asked, fixing Selim with a heavy-lidded look of annoyance. "But you still have to start somewhere. You can't just say it's an amalgamation of things and that there's no cure because there are too many things wrong. We have to take them apart, one at a time, and try to tackle each problem on its own."
Jack could see Selim's attention wavering; the way his eyes kept darting somewhere to the corners of his vision like he was being watched by something just out of his sight. He had a very good idea of what he thought it was, too. But Jack wasn't about to let that thing steal Selim's attention away from him. Not this time.
Leaning over to try to hook his arm around Ruka's waist, the redheaded Slytherin attempted to pull both smaller boys in tight, not seeming to care if their bodies were still fragile from lack of nutrients. As far as he was concerned, they deserved it. It was their fault for making him worry so much - their fault he could no longer deny that he cared.
Burying his face against the back of the other boys' necks, Jack hugged them so tight he might have left bruises. He wanted to scream his lungs out in unadulterated rage and despair, but he couldn't; not with the Hospital Wing staff so close by and not if he didn't want to assault his suffering schoolmates' ears. He would do so later, alone, in the privacy of the supply closet he so frequently visited.
For now, though, Jack's grip on them was enough, as though it could keep even Time and Death both from stealing Ruka and Selim away from him. He wanted to keep Selim from scratching himself to the point of bleeding; keep him from shivering in fear of the things only seen in his mind. Keep Ruka from burning himself as a distraction; from clinging to his old, stupid fedora as a replacement for Jack. He wanted to protect them from loneliness, pain, fatigue, neglect, and everything terrible about the world. And, for that one moment, simply by hugging them close, he felt like he could.
His voice came creeping from behind their necks like tendrils of ice climbing up the sides of their throats to reach their ears in quiet, burning, frigid fury.
"Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again," Jack warned, eyes closed as he concentrated on the rise and fall of their warm bodies against him as they breathed. "Either of you. Or I give you my word I will make you regret it."
With one more (potentially rib-crushing) hug, he loosened his grip on the two and lay back down on the bed, his arms loosely draped about their shoulders to pull them down with him like stuffed animals he intended to sleep with.
"Now sleep, or I'll ask the nurses for that sleeping draught. We'll discuss the 'why' of all of this later."
In spite of everything - the seriousness of the conditions he had found Selim and Ruka in, the mixture of negative emotions roiling in his chest and gut, the intensity of the conversation and situation at hand - Jack couldn't help a small laugh at the raven-haired student's uncharacteristically rude and direct protest regarding inviting Ruka on his bed.
"Hm? Jealous it's not just the two of us anymore?" he taunted with a bitter sneer. It was gone in the next second. "Well, guess what? Tân nearly died trying to carry your self-neglecting ass here on his own, no doubt in an attempt to satiate your wishes to keep your condition quiet, so you don't get the right to refuse him." Reaching over, he pulled his dorm mate closer and away from the bed's edge until he was practically seated on his lap. "Or me."
He rolled his eyes at the retort regarding Selim's issues being more than just sleep paralysis. "You think I don't know that? Me? After all I've had to help you deal with?" he asked, fixing Selim with a heavy-lidded look of annoyance. "But you still have to start somewhere. You can't just say it's an amalgamation of things and that there's no cure because there are too many things wrong. We have to take them apart, one at a time, and try to tackle each problem on its own."
Jack could see Selim's attention wavering; the way his eyes kept darting somewhere to the corners of his vision like he was being watched by something just out of his sight. He had a very good idea of what he thought it was, too. But Jack wasn't about to let that thing steal Selim's attention away from him. Not this time.
Leaning over to try to hook his arm around Ruka's waist, the redheaded Slytherin attempted to pull both smaller boys in tight, not seeming to care if their bodies were still fragile from lack of nutrients. As far as he was concerned, they deserved it. It was their fault for making him worry so much - their fault he could no longer deny that he cared.
Burying his face against the back of the other boys' necks, Jack hugged them so tight he might have left bruises. He wanted to scream his lungs out in unadulterated rage and despair, but he couldn't; not with the Hospital Wing staff so close by and not if he didn't want to assault his suffering schoolmates' ears. He would do so later, alone, in the privacy of the supply closet he so frequently visited.
For now, though, Jack's grip on them was enough, as though it could keep even Time and Death both from stealing Ruka and Selim away from him. He wanted to keep Selim from scratching himself to the point of bleeding; keep him from shivering in fear of the things only seen in his mind. Keep Ruka from burning himself as a distraction; from clinging to his old, stupid fedora as a replacement for Jack. He wanted to protect them from loneliness, pain, fatigue, neglect, and everything terrible about the world. And, for that one moment, simply by hugging them close, he felt like he could.
His voice came creeping from behind their necks like tendrils of ice climbing up the sides of their throats to reach their ears in quiet, burning, frigid fury.
"Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again," Jack warned, eyes closed as he concentrated on the rise and fall of their warm bodies against him as they breathed. "Either of you. Or I give you my word I will make you regret it."
With one more (potentially rib-crushing) hug, he loosened his grip on the two and lay back down on the bed, his arms loosely draped about their shoulders to pull them down with him like stuffed animals he intended to sleep with.
"Now sleep, or I'll ask the nurses for that sleeping draught. We'll discuss the 'why' of all of this later."
Last edited by Jack Burnett on 16 Mar 2020, 21:15, edited 1 time in total.
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori