Anathema or Caritas? PV Dennis

It was a day like any other day. Being the studious Ravenclaw I was, I finished the meticulous review that was required of someone like me. I stepped out of the library for a smoke, sitting on a bench out in the courtyard. It was all I could do to clear my head these days. No matter what I tried - smoking, other girls, smoking, other girls, smoking - nothing could wash away that memory of those days happier than I ever was. But all that is gone now, and I am but a hollow husk. Hell, what was I doing? I have so much to live for. Every time I try to forget, though, her memory comes waltzing in like it is the only thing I ever want to remember, like the touch of spring on a wilting flower, like a breath after being under for too long.

It started raining, so I sauntered into an adjoining corridor like I had nowhere to go and all the time to get there. I flicked the bud of the spent cig on the cobblestone floor and rubbed it out with my foot like I was trying to remove the stain on my soul. I looked around, hoping no one noticed and then…

…there she was. The dame that got away. She looked like she stepped out of a dream that forgot how to end. Her eyes that could pierce your soul and legs that went all the way down. She stood there staring at me and I knew from that moment I was in trouble. Do I run? No. I could never run from her.

Our eyes met and that old flame ignited like I was laying eyes on her for the first time again. Only this time. I knew I couldn’t have her. I shouldn’t have her. But damn it did I want her. Any shot of that happening flew out the window when she struck that defiant pose daring me to come. How could I resist? No. She could have walked by me like I didn’t exist like she couldn’t tell me from any other Tom, Dick or Harry. But she stopped. She stopped for me. This wasn’t a challenge, it was a beckoning. Luck be a siren and her name is Meyra.

“I’m glad you didn’t get wet,” I said softly like a kiss a man foresworn to part his lover might give before disappearing again. If she was going to put up a fight, I would make her fight with everything she had. I rested my hand on her elbow affectionately. Feigning it was an old habit and a taboo now, I quickly withdrew. However, for a moment, I wanted to grab her and kiss her; kiss her like I missed her my whole life. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I may be a weak man, drawn to a powerful woman, but I knew my limit. I would not be the one to cave first. I flashed her that smile I smiled whenever she lit up my world. I’d like to see her resist. “It’s really raining, would you like some company on your walk?”

@Meyra Lancaster

3rd November

There was a moment that stretched in time for longer than it should have, when Meyra felt her feet being grounded to the stone floor. Like if she was under the weight of a spell that didn't allow her to move. It was quite irritating the realisation of how he would still affect her, how could she no longer act "normal" as they meet. As if there was a pressure of unspoken words, as if all gestures and attitudes were important and micro judged to replace what was unsaid. As if all things could be read under the wrong light and lead to understandings she was not even near to be able to deal with.

Mey watched him leave the courtyard, take the last drag on his cigarette, throw it on the ground, extinguish it with the sole of his shoe, and enter the comfort of the castle walls. Her nose wrinkled instinctively as the acrid smell of tobacco invaded her sensitive senses. Why in hells would he do that now? Meyra looked at him with disapproval written on her features, surprising the will to pinch her nose between her fingers to help cut the smell that came from him.

But despite all that, Dennis had actually spoken to her. That came as both a surprise and a dare. And she would not be the one that would kept locked in the safety of her silence. "I wouldn't say that. Though my spell actually worked this time." She replied to him, her voice uneven, as she was careful to not let any rebel emotion reveal itself from her. Though if she gave her answer a minute more of thought, she would start to feel that was rather a stupid response, but to be fair... everything she would have said would always felt lame, as it was inescapably a rather unsettling situation that she couldn't take control of.

The touch of his hand made her instinctively flinch, not enough to make his hand fall from her elbow, but she guessed it had been enough for him to want too. Meyra felt ridiculous with her own thoughtless attitude but it had been her own instincts taking over her, he had abruptly broken an invisible barrier that strongly and stubbornly kept between them. Too soon, too unprepared...

And she truly was all of that, especially when his response was to give her the most radiant smile, the one that always managed to break her high damn walls. "You...would you want too?" She asked, her voice laced with doubt and distrust. Against all that she was, she hadn't been able to completely hide the vulnerability she actually felt at facing him. Wondering how careful she should be, as there was a thin line between fixing what was broken or let it all fall apart to a point that nothing could be fixed.
@Dennis Tumberton

Dennis noticed the scrunched nose of his former lover and gave it a wry look in return. He wouldn’t be huffing on cigs if she hadn’t left him. Sure it was “amicable” whatever that meant but he had spent the whole summer regretting that decision. Every turn he wished she was with him. His heart was heavy as he looked into her mesmerizing eyes. Why did they have to be so damn beautiful. However, his ploy to be the one to knock her off her guard first seemed to work. He was pleased with himself and he showed it.

She asked if he really meant if they could walk together and he nodded enthusiastically in a way only Dennis could be both energetic and oblivious in a tense situation. “Why would I not, Mey? I would never offer something to someone as breathtaking as you and not mean it,” he almost winked. Control yourself, hot shot. Just give the compliment and move on. He turned in the direction she was walking and, for the second time, and this time absentmindedly like it was the most natural thing in the world, took the bag she was carrying and slung it on his shoulder as they walked. “How has your semester been? We haven’t really seen each other much,” aside from the ball, was the part he left unsaid.

@Meyra Lancaster

3rd November

Mey fell into silence, not sure how to react, as Dennis gave her his most characteristic enthusiastic reply alongside a compliment that almost made her mouth fall agape. The courage and the nerve!"Right." She replied shortly to him, her expression revealing her surprise and unbelief, as she started walking.

She was just a few steps ahead when Dennis caught her pace, Meyra tried to ignore his presence as much as she could, even if it was quite impossible to not feel the turmoil within her every time he was so close. It was truly absurd, since he used to be the only person, outside of her family, with whom she always felt comfortable, with his peculiar manner and the gift of making her feel happy and safe, even on her worst days.

As Mey was about to rearranging the strap of her satchel that kept slipping off her shoulder, Dennis' hand found it first, taking the heavy school bag from her. For a moment, she stopped on her tracks, looking up at him as he nonchalantly kept walking with her bag as it was the most natural thing to do. It took her a few seconds to react, and she continued walking beside him, "You didn't need to do that." She told him, but her voice came out soft and full of gratitude, rather than reproachful as she had intended and as it had sounded in her mind.

Mey looked at him over her shoulder as they kept walking, he looked like...well, like Dennis, like her Dennis, but at the same time...there was that little voice in her mind that kept telling her that he was no longer her friend from last year, something was different, something that she found herself wanting to change but didn't want to admit it.

"It's been...normal." She replied to him shrugging her shoulder, "Nothing happening really, besides classes and all that." She glanced briefly at him before continuing, "How's been yours? As I've heard its been far more eventful." Yes, she remembered seeing him during the Fall Ball, and who she had seen him with. Not to mention the rumours she had heard...So yeah, maybe she had failed not to sound slightly jealous on that last one.
@Dennis Tumberton

Dennis only briefly considered her disbelief. Had they not dated for several months? Their parting was supposed to be amicable and he was working overtime to make it not be awkward. Did she have to also work equally as hard to make sure it was awkward? Was it such a big deal that he thought his ex-girlfriend was still beautiful and offered to help her? Maybe, but this wasn’t a telenovela, it was just middle school basically.

He finally caught up with her as she seemed like she wanted nothing more than to escape. Well, he wasn’t going to let her do that. Not after having put in so much effort. They walked side by side and he tried his hardest not to hold her hand. He wondered if he reached out if she would let him, however, he wasn’t at all sure it was one of those times to try such a thing - they had only just met again after trying to avoid each other all summer, and then, well, all semester too. As big as Hogwarts was, it sometimes felt very small.

Dennis hadn’t really considered what it was he was doing when he took her bag. It was the most natural thing to do as he had done so countless times before last semester. As she mentioned that he didn’t need to do so, he realized that perhaps he overstepped. Gosh, being friends with his ex certainly was difficult. He just shrugged though and kept moving forward to her classroom. There wasn’t any room to backdown and he certainly wasn’t going to give her bag back though he did always wonder what the hell she put in there!

He followed her for a time feeling as though nothing had changed but her demeanor was definitely different. So much so he trailed behind several steps than he normally would in deference. It was a random happenstance that brought them together and weirder still that then ended up together like this.

“Everything has been doing well,” he mentioned, feeling a bit lame as they made it to her classroom. “Just trying to make the best of the situation.” He handed her bag to her since it wasn’t his class they had walked to. As she passed to go to her class, his hand followed behind, naturally, again, as if they had been dating. With a specific motion and a sniff as he made contact he said, “If you are ever in the mood to go have some fun at Hogsmeade. Just send me an owl.” With that, confident his message was received, he waded back into the crowd headed away from the classroom.

@Meyra Lancaster

3rd November

"Just trying to make the best of the situation.", the hell was that supposed to mean? What situation? The one they both decided to be the best? Apparently for him it had been, wasn't he the one really enjoying the extra time? Certainly it hadn't been her who had found someone to accompany her to the Fall Ball, and accordingly to what she had heard, he had been far more "busy" than that. So probably, that was not a complain, what left her feeling even worse.

Dennis handed her bag as soon as they arrived the door to her classroom, she wondered if they were in the same year if things would feel even more difficult or if it would end up being easier to get things between them back how they used to be, uncomplicated. "Thanks." She told him, as she grabbed her bag from his hand and put it around her shoulder, "See you later, if you're not too busy I suppose." Once again, her voice sounding with that tone of jealousy that she couldn't shake off, even if it was not at all her intention to let it show.

Without saying another word, she started to carry herself towards the classroom, but once again he had made her stop and turn so quickly that her bag almost fell to the ground at her feet, she had caught it just in the last second before it hit the floor. Mey’s green eyes looked up at Dennis like if only by looking at him that way she could send him a curse.

How could he act like if nothing had happened between them and even have the nerve to invite her to go to Hogsmeade? Was she just the one who was complicating things? Was just she who thought it all as crossing some kind of limits? “I seriously don’t understand you Dennis.” She told him. Was he just treating her like one of his girls now? Or what she heard had really no truth in it? “Your new girlfriend may not like it, you know?” She asked him, as a shadow of a smirk started to appear on her lips, “But I guess I’m going to think about it.” She said as she turned and finished entering her classroom.
@Dennis Tumberton