I just want to be myself

I quietly stood in the corner of the trophy room staring into nowhere.
That was my first time being in a place with this much gold and silver: even my parents gringotts safe had less, I was surprised.
No, not even close I am absolutely amazed!
My head started working hardly showing all the things I could achieve.
Win the quidditch cup for my house! : I was trying as hard as I can, to remove this visions.
I cannot even imagine, what a disappointment I will get if I dont achieve the goal.
Especially, first years cant be playing quidditch!
But I could get other trophies, as I was thinking more and more, it was hard to focus.
But then I practically stopped having any thoughts at all after I saw what I saw.
Hard to explain what I am feeling, probably a mix of anger, surprisement, and even kind of proudness.
Right there in big letters was written: "Alexander Steel"
My first thought was "Dad"
I could not hold it and whispered just so no one can hear me : My dad was the best student at Hogwarts for 5 years straight!
I didn't know what to think, this is the award he was talking about all the time this was the person he wanted me to be.
My dad was always telling me to learn amazing to be the best, and I thought he wanted the best for me but, but there was a thing : if u have any academical awards at Hogwarts or any other wizarding schools it will definitely higher your chances.
My dad always told me that if I study best it will be better for me, to get any job I like, but no, it was for me to be the same as him.
Something went through my spine, a mix of anger and sadness.
I just want to be myself...
I looked back at everything, and understood I wanted to be myself.
I dont need a goal to be perfect, to get this type of job, or anything.
I just want to be myself.