A Dhampir's Curse PV Finished

Her eyes traced the conversation, etching its words in her memory permanently. The Slytherin Head of House urged that everything would be okay, and Olphie had to bite her tongue to resist scoffing, the edges of her vision blurring as an effect of pain. Everything would be okay? Then what was she? Always expected to be the eldest, until the day she resisted, and now, now she had destroyed the only thing in her life that had felt stable. Unloved, unworthy. Yet everything would be okay. But when?

It seemed Kaegen remained unconvinced, as well, though his body grew slack, seemingly defeated and understanding that resistance would do him no good. She met the Astronomy Professor's eyes after he pulled away from the child and nodded slightly, a nod that would be imperceptible except for these three, more observant than the average person. She was uncertain as to why, but in Olphie's eyes, a certain understanding amongst the four would, at the very least, exist in her soul far beyond this night.

She agreed with Alphoric's words but continued to say nothing as another tear dropped heavily down her cheek. How she wished she could promise those words to every student at Hogwarts, to "never let anyone take advantage of you for being you." For it was almost easier for Kaegen, in his obvious uniqueness, to be protected. But what about those who were seemingly normal, happy, even, who struggled beneath the surface? Those who just happened to be placed in the wrong place, the wrong family, the wrong situations which built up in such a way that everything came crashing down in a feeling of disrepair? Those children were just being themselves, but it was harder to help what could not be seen. 

At the very least, she could start with Kaegen, though she knew she was the last choice. Her confidence, a blend of fact and fiction, could be off-putting, though she had learned to ignore the facial expressions that indicated who they bothered. It was better not to know. It was the only way to survive. But she could try.

So, in an addendum to Equalsocks' commentary of the tower being therapeutic, Olphie murmured softly, "And you are welcome, if you wish to feel even closer to the stars, to take a fly with me as well. Sometimes I use it to escape...the pressures of a long day."

The boy was still a student. He didn't need to know what the pressures truly were. But she added with a smile, "I know my office may not be as peaceful as the tower, but I can always offer a warm fire and a piping hot cup of tea to warm you up when your insides feel chilly."

Hjørdis sighed softly. Her blank expression probably looked horribly cold compared to the expressions on her colleague's faces. Kaegen broke down, blood streaming down his face uncontrollably.  He asked such a simple question but there was no real answer to it. She knew things would get better as he learned to control his instincts. With experience came wisdom. But the steps to making things better would not be easy. No one ever said it would be simple, no one said it would happen quickly. But she did strongly believe that things will, one day, get better.

That was how pain worked. Hjørdis had her own fair share of sorrows and sob stories, her own experiences of feeling isolated and alone in the world. He was not alone in that. No one ever was. But as time went on, the wounds started to heal. There were moments where she completely forgot every single pain she had felt and was just happy. In that moment, she was happy. However, when the pain occurred, it felt like happiness would never happen, that she would never forget how she felt.

Perhaps she was the one that was broken. Alaric's emotional outburst and Olphie's tears were signs of a normal being with empathy. Her persona was far colder than either of them. It was just the way she was. Her experiences made her that way. Even though she did not show it, a part of her heart was breaking at the sight. Alaric offered his assistance.

"You trust me, don't you, Kaegen?" She asked him, "I believe Professor Equinox can help you control this. He is perhaps best suited to helping you, having experienced the same things you are experiencing now." Hjørdis replied after the other two colleagues of hers had spoken. She knew that Alaric was far better equipped to handle this than she was. She had no idea how Kaegen felt towards the Astronomy professor but she knew that Kaegen trusted her. He was perhaps one of the few students that was entirely unafraid of her. Hell, he was the only student who actually dared to hug her. No one who was not related to her would have the guts to even touch her. For some reason - she had no idea why - he seemed to trust her. If she could use that to make sure he got the most appropriate help, she would. "The dungeons are definitely not as warm as Professor Bercegeay's office or as beautiful as Professor Equinox's tower, however you are, of course, always welcome to visit me too." She added.

Kaegen likely knew this anyway. But she wanted to make sure that he did. He had not come to her much after their first meeting and things seemed to getting worse for him. If she could help him, even if it was for a brief moment, then she would. Hopefully put at least one smile on the boy's face.

Jeger | Outfit of the day

The professor repeated that he somehow understood what he was going through, or what he was. Honestly, Kaegen found himself struggling to keep up with the conversation, if it even qualified as one. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing, he wanted to somehow avoid the truth, even if the truth was staring at him as it promised that he wasn't about to die. He would be spared, and his miserable world would be shattered. His mind had some vague understanding of just how splintered his understanding of reality was becoming, but it wasn't something he really grasped consciously. It manifested not as a train of thought, but as a feeling of dread and unease.

How many years had he spent fearful of these people who were now showing no hostility. How many years had he spent trying to kill them? He had wanted to end them, all of them. He had tried. Many of his attempts had never even been noticed, the exploding teapot failing to detonate, the chandelier failing to fall because of some magic spell. He had only ever come close twice. Once with a knife from very close, and once from afar and above, with a slingshot. It seemed an eternity, this feud he'd had. To his mind, his life at hogwarts had gone back decades. The few years feeling like most of his waking life.

The professor was giving him options. "If you let me". Did Kaegen even really have a choice in the matter? It really didn't feel like he did, but he was being given one. An opportunity to never feel this? Part of his mind screamed to accept, anything to relieve some of the pain. But he balked, as he always had done. Every time someone had tried to be his friend, had given him something nice, had shown kindness in any form, he balked. He backed off, he feared a trap, a trick, something designed to cause more misery.

But now, what trick or trap could there possibly be? What trick or trap could matter to him, resigned as he was to an early death. There wasn't any other option, really, other than to internally, and tentatively, begin to accept some of what was being said. He wasn't sure what therapeutic really meant, but he thought that it had something to do with breathing. But he didn't want to breathe, he wanted that promised control.

What shocked him just as much, if not more, than the offer of a choice was another choice. To choose to join the brightly colored professor as she flew. Surprising on it's own, but what made his tears begin to slow was the realization that she escaped. She escaped pressures, which was something kaegen assumed related to the feeling, rather than physical pressure. But whatever she was escaping from, she was doing it, she was fleeing something, albeit for short times. Leaving an area to be free up in the clouds. His own broom, hidden as an umbrella, was slow, to be sure, but it was beautiful to be higher than those he feared, to have that means of escape, to sit on the roof and contemplate how he was going to get his food with the least interaction.

It was something that made her sound human, sound like she would do something he would. Something to close the gap in the same strange way the realization that he was the same as the professor who even now was looking at his eyes, a gaze that, until the bright professor's words had sunken in, Kaegen had been avoiding. When he did finally look up, he couldn't see any anger. He had never been good at seeing specific emotions, but he had always been very, very good at feeling. Too good, even. The slightest hostility, the slightest anger, and he would run, or rage. Like a scared creature, reacting to the slightest rustle.

He had never truly admitted to being wrong, not about anything important. He had made many mistakes, and his pride had never stopped him from realizing that. Misunderstanding people, mislabeling, actions that he should never have taken. The list of mishaps went on and on. But his world had never been wrong. He had been wrong about the details, but never the bigger picture. Those who tried to convince him otherwise were brushed off. Liars and fools, imbeciles who lived in a different world. Nothing but infuriating sheep who only existed to hide the wolves.

He could practically hear the sound of a sharp crack as the healer told him that he trusted her, or rather reminded him. And then went on to share that trust with the other professors. It was a concept that he was familiar with. His trust, once given, could be shared, that was something he had always known, always fundamentally understood. He was trusting her to make judgement calls, and she had made one. And now, staring ahead at the shirt of the astrology professor, he realized just how much of his world had fallen into the abyss.

He wanted to say something, but didn't know what. So he just cried more, fighting with his devastated mind to speak, to apologize, or explain his side of the story, or why he had done what he had done. None of it was formulated, none of it coherent enough to be made out. He reached his arms around Alaric, and quickly passed out. There wasn't enough energy left to do anything but close his eyes, not enough rage, or hate, or fear. His mind felt empty, drained of what kept him moving, and shattered beyond repair. He would have to build something new there, he would have to find the professors, he would have to talk to them when he could talk, he would have to understand.

I'll hopefully track y'all down sooner or later when Kae comes knocking, if you're too busy, headcanon-ing works fabulously. For now, unless he get woken up, Kaegen's just going to pass out, but he's out enough for alaric to pry him off and put him on a bed. I honestly really appreciate this thread, and all of your sob-inducing, breathtaking writing talent ; -;