The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #44

PAGE 11.

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Hogwarts, How Many Languages Do You Speak?=(Part III)=──
─────────────────────────────────────────=by Archer Duncan

Welcome back to part three of our analysis of the multilingual community of Hogwarts.

Finishing out our representation of commonly spoken European language groups is the Slavic language,

Bulgarian, which happens to be the native tongue of Professor Desislava Nenovsky and the primary language she speaks back home. To the foreign speaker, and to Nenovsky herself, Bulgarian is a complicated language, yet this happens to be her favourite part and has helped her with the other three languages she speaks. She said, however, it is its own separate language in both writing and speaking, which makes it difficult to master. As with the tradition we have established, I also learnt a useful idiom from her: “kato riba izvŭn vodata”, meaning “like a fish out of water”, which she found fitting for her multilingualism. Knowing her love for the ocean, I found it fitting as well.	x
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The Divination professor also speaks Tahitian, a language many of our students may not have heard of before. It is spoken in French Polynesia, which is located in the South Pacific Ocean, between Australia and Chile. When I brought up the language’s exoticism, Professor Nenovsky provided this valuable piece of advice: ────────────────

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❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. Never shy away from attempting to learn a language, as it may surprise you with how much you enjoy it. .─ x┗────────── x❞

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In fact, although English was spoken where she lived, she chose to learn the language just to see if she could. Not only did this prove her linguistic skills, but it immersed her in a “home away from home”. Her anecdote shows that language truly is the bridge between cultures, and connections can be made from shared words. = ─────────────────

(French Polynesia's 121 islands.)

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Finally, I have interviewed two individuals adept at magical languages, the familiar faces once more, Professor Nenovsky and Violeta Roux. The former learnt the language through the mermaid cultures she has met across the world. She also points out that on the French Polynesian island of Moorea Maiao, she often used it when interacting with sirens, which aided in her earning their trust. She also debunked the myth of the language being barbaric, which was only true above water. When submerged, she said, “the language is beautiful and flows mystically”.

The latter was different, having been born with the skill of Parseltongue, the ability to communicate with snakes. Ironically enough, she told me of her fear of snakes, which was how she discovered her ability: through screaming at the reptile to stop in the hissing	x	language. More seriously, she also spoke on how they were often stereotyped as evil, which is untrue, and urged others not to make assumptions just because something was foreign. =
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To conclude our three-part analysis, I encourage you to not only find your own foreign language to learn but also explore the connections between them. Even if it is already your native tongue, I have learnt that you can never “finish” with a language. There is always something more to be explored, and, often, it is right under your eyelids, hiding in plain sight.

Now, I hope I have inspired you to talk to your multilingual friends or look into languages for yourself; I must bid you goodbye, or as you might hear from Nenovsky, довиждане.

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 12.

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Around the Corner Like a Jumpscare - Hallowe’en Special
by Oonagh Brown

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By the time you read this, it will be October and that means Hallowe’en is not far away. The time of guising is almost within reach, and, therefore, I am particularly interested in any kind of plans you students have in order to make this day special!

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It is a time of costumes and trickery, so how could I, like many others, not look forward to this day’s occurrence? Kids will dress up—and what is more? Free candy! Who could say no to that?! For this reason alone I had come up with a small survey for students to partake in as they pleased. It received a fair amount of interest and students’ opinions have poured in and allowed for this article to showcase the actual opinions of the students at this school—because apparently those matter to some of you.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Who could say no to that!? ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Let us start this off with a few facts about Hallowe’en:

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The name Halloween comes from the longer name of the festival “All Hallows’ Eve”, which is why sometimes it is written as “Hallowe’en”.	x	Jack-o-Lanterns, the classic pumpkin-carved lanterns, were originally made from turnips! x	x	Some very good sources (totally not me) tell me that our dear “Editor-in-Chief” is going to dress up as a unicorn for Halloween! This is totally true!
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After that bit of trivia and juicy information, let us focus on some more fun things, like the students’ plans for this precious day. Most importantly: costumes!

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The Classic Witch—and by that, they don’t mean to go as themselves. No, they mean the entity that Muggles think of when they hear the word witch. Another classic is throwing a bedsheet over your head and calling it a Ghost; another Halloween classic is the Zombie costume. Other ideas include only the best thing ever, a Pirate! Even better if you actually adapt the way you talk to how a pirate is meant to sound.

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Aside from that, some students seem to be planning to dress up as more niche references such as Puck the Fairy from some show and Cruella de Vil.

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But, of course, Halloween is not just about costumes—it is also a time of mischief! So here are some pranking ideas you might consider using on your friends and enemies—pranks that go beyond the classic jumpscare or fake spiders or cobwebs!

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These ideas for trouble-making come from our readers:

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Broom in a Blanket
This prank idea is for all the blanket ghosts and tricksters. Either make your broom invisible with a cloak or a spell, and make it seem like you are flying on your own. A variation includes doing this as a blanket ghost or throwing glitter as pixie dust.

Orange Outfits
Not by choice but by the help of magic. The submitter of this idea suggests turning other people's socks or clothes orange to spread the Halloween spirit to everyone, whether they want it or not! Best used on people who put little effort into dressing up!

Pretend Portrait
Ever wanted to block someone’s path and make it fashionable at the same time? Dress up as a portrait, come up with a password or riddle and block people’s passage unless they give a satisfying response. Bonus points if that blocked path happens to be a lavatory or entrance to a classroom!

Glued Grounds
Want to annoy someone and possibly ruin their day? Apply glue to surfaces or use a handy spell to do the job for you.

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 13.

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┏ ┓ Samhain: A Celtic Tradition by Matthew Campbell ┗ ┛	xx
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While, in the modern age, we have many beloved rituals that make Halloween special, such as trick-or-treating and carving pumpkins, all trace their roots to a much earlier celebration. Samhain, Samhainn, or Sauin, depending on which Celts you ask, was a Celtic pagan ritual marking the transition from the lightest to the darkest parts of the year in order to form their calendar. It wasn’t just symbolic — this turning point told them when to harvest, when to store food, and when to prepare for the long	x	winter ahead. The year itself was split into a bright half and a dark half, and Samhain was the hinge between them. This day was seen as both the turning point of the year and a gateway, when the veil between worlds was thinnest and could therefore be easily crossed by fey and spirits. It was a time when loved ones hoped and believed they would see the dead, and where folks invented wild ideas to protect themselves from trickster fey. x─────────────────────────────x
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	x	One such idea was the very symbol we know for Halloween today: the pumpkin! Originally, the people of Scotland and Ireland couldn’t just pop over to the store to purchase a pumpkin, nor could they magically conjure one up from their gardens. In fact, pumpkins weren’t introduced to European soil until the 16th century. So, I know some of you are wondering if the tradition only started then? Fortunately, I have the answer, and you may be surprised to hear that the tradition has been around at least as early as the 5th century.	x	The Celts, having no knowledge of or access to pumpkins, had been using other root vegetables during Samhain, most often turnips. Yet what was their purpose? Though attractive to look at, their power lay beyond just being decorative — turnips were carved with scary faces, which were illuminated, to ward off fairies, ghosts, and other creatures. How true these tales are is lost to time, but, as wix, we know such beings to exist, so it stands to reason that there is some truth to the myths. ─────────────────────
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Then we come to the childlike delight of trick-or-treating. As a child, I adored it! Today it’s mostly an excuse to get free sweets while ‘guising’ — dressing in disguise — which originally served a far more serious purpose. Children wore costumes to protect themselves, making it impossible for spirits or fairies to recognise them during the crossing. At night, children would roam the streets playing tricks upon their neighbours or trading jests for a sweet treat, just as we do now. Because Samhain marked the start of the dark half of the year, bonfires were another essential part of the tradition, lighting up the darkness and warding off evil spirits. They sparked friendly competitions between neighbourhoods and promoted a sense of unity and safety until sunrise, signalling the resealing of the veil until the following year.	x	Celts would light their hearth fires from these sacred bonfire flames, and feasts would be held around them. Offerings were made to both the living and the dead. Many believed the fires to have prophetic powers, and diviners would place nuts inside the flames, hoping for an even, quiet burn to represent happiness in the year to come. If the nuts hissed, it was a poor omen and your Samhain had tricked you after all. Knowing our history is as important as looking to our future. Let it guide you, just as the spirits guided the Celts, and make sure that, if you’re the one feeling nefarious, you don’t end up the one who is tricked!
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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 14.

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┏──────────────────┓ A Modest Proposal for the Revitalisation of Duelling Strategy Via Subterfuge ┗──────────────────┛ Every steadfast spectator of sports has their own reason for the utmost adulation they devote to their pastime of choice. Duellists I’ve spoken to have mentioned colours, intellect, ducks, and violence as the wide-ranging catalysts of their amour for the sport. Quidditch fanatics often reference the fame, but some have articulated affection for the team-focused nature of the sport. One said they simply like how shiny the Snitch is. Broom racers, for their part, have referenced the exhilaration, the freedom of fast speeds, and the variety of obstacles they must dodge.	x	by Livia Machavariani ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ What intrigues me is the lack of sentiment for strategy. It’s entirely possible for the most selfish of sportsgoers to have everything the players referenced; however, none of that is possible without a solid strategy. One that happens to lend itself to the self-serving is cheating. Now, I am duly aware of what people will say. That’s quite unconscionable!, or, How reprehensible! The outrage is, of course, understandable. However, it is important to think about the foundation of all sports, from the greatest pastime of the mind, chess, to even a ragtag scuffle between two abhorrent whippersnappers. This foundation is strategy.
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Should you have studied politics or economics, you might be familiar with the notion of game theory. This is what we are discussing, albeit less seriously, as duelling is hardly a Machiavellian court… unless it were. I propose that duelling teams begin to think of new and improved forms of subterfuge. Quidditch surpasses duelling in this capacity. If one is horrifically vexed by the prowess of an opposing team member,	x		x	they needn’t wait for a Beater to get around to bludgering them. It’s well within proper strategy to shove them off the broom oneself. Of course, it is a risk—if the referee sees it, it’s a penalty lap—but sometimes, that penalty lap is just one means to the great end of victory. Even broom racers will dose unwitting opponents with potions for victory. It’s just part of the game to them. The risk is worth the reward.
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So why, then, do duellists not employ the beautiful act of cheating?

I did not deign to ask. Instead, I will make a short argument and let Hogwarts’s duelling captains decide to incorporate my well-devised strategy into their plans. Cheating in duelling would require the utmost use of stealth or sleight of hand. Perhaps it could entail tampering with the piste—casting lubricus on it before the duel’s commencement would certainly make dodging a bit of a slippery endeavour for the other team, no?

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Perhaps it could entail tampering with the piste. ── x┗─────────── x❞

❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Then there is the use of potions to consider. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Then there is the use of potions to consider. It’s not as if the referee is watching you get ready for the duel. A quick chug of a wit-sharpening potion, and I’d doubt you’d fail to cast a spell. Spiking the drink of an opponent with a forgetfulness potion? A bit crass, but effective all the same—they can hardly overcome you if they can’t remember how to use their wand. Sipping black-fire potion before a duel could render one nearly immune to the effects of incendio.

The possibilities are endless.

I am certain the students of Hogwarts will agree with me when I emphasise that duelling strategy would be far more entertaining if certain happenings could not be explained. Even better, for a team struggling to win, such underhanded techniques could provide the leverage necessary for victory.
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All sports fans want to be victorious. Let’s prohibit “good sportsmanship” from stopping us.

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 15.

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Magical & Muggle Meals: Piquant Pumpkin Pips
by Aly Salinger

October each year brings about one of Hogwarts’s most recognisable and, honestly, predictable decorations. Whether they’re found within our common rooms, growing in the caretaker’s garden, or carved and placed strategically all around the Great Hall, the humble pumpkin is perhaps the most notable decoration for fall and Hallowe’en alike. Little do we know, however, that we’re walking by the main ingredient of a tasty snack every time we pass an uncarved pumpkin.

The pips, or seeds, of a pumpkin are not only edible, but are also delicious when cooked properly! This is even a recipe that lacks Muggle alternatives… because anyone can make this one, whether they are magical or lacking in that department. Best of all, to prepare them is nowhere close to difficult – and can also be quite fun. Let’s get crackin' (on the pumpkin, that is)!

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Piquant Pumpkin Pips
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Serves: 4 (or more…)
Time: 35 minutes

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Ingredients: ▫ 1 whole pumpkin* ▫ Olive oil ▫ Powdered garlic** ▫ Powdered cayenne pepper*** ▫ Salt

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* If you acquire a pumpkin that has undergone Engorgio, the Engorgement Charm, the serving size may become anywhere from 8 to 60 people depending on the pumpkin’s final size.
** Replace with powdered onion if you intend on serving this recipe to vampires, to avoid potentially fatal—or at the very least uncomfortable—allergic reactions.
*** Or curry powder, depending on your preference

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Directions
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𝟭| Preheat your oven to 190°C (375°F). 𝟮| Use a Severing Charm (or a knife) to carve out the top of your pumpkin. Carefully summon (or scoop) out all of the stringy guts and pips. 𝟯| The pumpkin itself may be carved for a jack-o-lantern, or you may cook it – between pumpkin fizz, pumpkin juice, and pumpkin pasties, you certainly have your choice of what to do with the flesh! 𝟰| Separate all of the seeds from the stringy guts. The guts may be thrown out; as for the seeds, simply wash them with a quick Aguamenti (or a light stream of water from a tap). Allow to dry. 𝟱| Measure out your pumpkin pips. The rest of the recipe is for one cup of pumpkin seeds; if you have more cups of pumpkin seeds, multiply the recipe by another time for each additional cup. (For example, if you have two cups of pips, use 2x the amount of spices; use 3x if you have 3 cups of pips, etc.) 𝟲| To one cup of rinsed, dry pumpkin seeds, add ──────────────────────────

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1 tablespoon oil, ½ teaspoon powdered garlic, ¼ teaspoon cayenne or curry powder, and ½ teaspoon salt. Toss well to combine. 𝟳| Brush or spray additional oil onto a baking sheet. On the oiled sheet, spread out the spiced pips until they are in a single layer and spread evenly. (If you have multiple cups of seeds, give each cup its own tray.) 𝟴| Bake the seeds until they are just slightly golden-brown and crispy (this should take about 15-20 minutes). Halfway through the time in the oven, toss the seeds so that the other sides are facing up. Watch them carefully – don’t let them burn! 𝟵| Allow to cool mostly before eating. I recommend sticking a small pouch of these in your schoolbag so you have a snack if you get hungry or bored during your classes, as many students are bound to do in this midway point of our fall semester! Enjoy your piquant pips! ──────────────────────────

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 16.

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A Day to Wear Blue Meyra Lancaster	x	With the start of a new school year, and given all the incidents we've been witnessing recently in the wizarding world, I thought it appropriate to address a topic that may be sensitive for some of you. I believe it is very important for us to give it proper attention and allow it space to be voiced and discussed. In bringing this issue to the Headliner, I'm doing what I assume to be my duty as a member of this school community to honour the Anti-Bullying Week. I believe everyone knows what bullying is. It exists around us, and so, we must all stand united in fighting and stopping it. Not all aggression is physical and leaves visible marks; many times, it's words that leave the deepest scars. Bullying, unfortunately, takes many forms, like a multi-headed monster. Social assumptions, for example, often prove to be one of the main sources that fuel it in our world.
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I'm speaking as an example, of all the dissemination of hate directed at those who, in the eyes of some, are seen as weaker, less deserving, or inferior. Over the past year, accusations from public figures and representatives of power have repeatedly given oxygen to the flames of old and ancient prejudices. With this voice, they have sought to divide us and, on some occasions, justified and actively disseminated cases of bullying that some have suffered	x	and will continue to suffer until mentalities start to change. For those who don’t know what I'm talking about, just read the articles that appeared in the Daily Prophet after the tragic event in Hogsmeade last year, or when the news about the acceptance of other races in various wizarding schools was published. But not all bullying has the same origins, and far be it from me to seek justification	x	for such disdainful and petty acts. These actions have serious consequences for the victims, in terms of their mental health and well-being. Therefore, we must all lend our voices and contribute actively to ensuring that it ceases to exist in the spaces around us, especially at Hogwarts, a renowned school that should educate not only good professionals, but also good citizens of the wizarding world.
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I conclude this article by leaving you with a challenge. According to my sources, this tradition already exists in the Muggle world. I challenge everyone who supports this cause and wants to say no to bullying and all its forms of violence to wear blue on November 11th. Blue symbolises peace, solidarity, trust, and importance. This way, we can act together – giving voice and taking a stand against an issue that deserves to be discussed and heard. Together, we move toward a safer school community and build a culture of kindness and respect for all our differences.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. I challenge everyone who wants to say no to bullying to wear blue on November 11th. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 17.

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Why Should We Uphold Tradition? by Evpraksiya Vinogradova

Before we can speak on tradition, I believe it's paramount to understand what role it plays in our day-to-day lives. It's the scaffolding that holds our lives upright and the quiet architecture beneath every greeting, every celebration, and every note of music that drifts through a drawing room at dusk.	x	Without it, we would be as loose pages, scattered wherever the wind of the day chose to blow. I have been raised among reminders of permanence, and from these I've learned that tradition is not a chain tethering us to a heavy iron ball but a lattice—something that steadies growth and lends meaning to the liberties we have today.	x
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One of the most frequent mistakes I see people make is confusing tradition with rigidity, as if to honour the past is to deny the present. Personally, I find the opposite to be true. Tradition is not a tombstone; it's a conversation across centuries. See it like this: when I use composition techniques created long before I was born, I am not imprisoned by their rules.	x	Rather, I am guided by them, adding my own arrangements. So too with social customs or family gatherings: they give us forms through which to express ourselves and remain the strong frames that shape our current art of character, rather than leaving us adrift in the identityless void many seem to struggle with as our society shifts.
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Upholding tradition also can teach us reverence! We stand on layers of effort—of craftsmen, thinkers, and relatives whose names may have faded from history but whose work was a small stitch in advancing to a quilt. Any ancestral pure-blood home, for example, has an assemblage of wards interlaced through the decades, with more added in each subsequent generation. This becomes an archive of memory, one that keeps alive the same practices as when addressing an elder in the same tongue of their youth. It’s a way not to forget who we came from, creating a sense of belonging for many.	x	Moreover, tradition guards against the tyranny of impulse. Left solely to invention, we risk building harbours too fragile to withstand crashing waves against their foundations. Customs become harbours where we may moor ourselves when everything else seems uncertain. During times of grief or change, the familiar rhythm of an All Saints’ Day feast steadies the heart and assures us that we are part of a story larger than our present discomfort—or, at the very least, gives us something else to focus on for the time being. ──────────────────────────────
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Of course, that's not to say tradition is infallible! It merits scrutiny and occasional re-gilding so it may keep its lustre. But the impulse to discard everything older than ourselves is often an act of impatience masquerading as 'boldness'. To refine is noble. To erase indiscriminately is impoverishing. The wisdom is to distinguish between habits that are vestigial and ones that remain with purpose. I believe that even the former deserve a moment of silence before they are set aside, for they were once, in their time, earnest answers to the needs of an age long since past.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. To refine is noble. To erase indiscriminately is impoverishing. ── x┗─────────── x❞

	x	So, why do we uphold tradition? Because it holds the connection to our past, moors us to our present, and prepares us for our future. Just as it keeps our harbour steady when we reach for new heights, it’s also the patient companion of	x	creativity, and the quiet promise that we’ll always belong to more than a transient, fragile moment. To honour tradition isn’t to bow to dust, but to keep alive the roots from which the future may still bloom.
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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 18.

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How to Study Smartly & Effectively x─────────────────────────x by Violeta Roux

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The start of a brand-new school year means new opportunities, a fresh start and many new students. Most of the time, students who obtain poor marks simply do not know how to study in order to acquire higher grades. In addition, many students who are hard-working also end up earning low scores, and do not understand the process. Hopefully, it might become a touch clearer after reading this article.

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Students end up leaving things unfinished. This isn’t a healthy habit. If a pupil leaves something undone and says something along the lines of “I’ll finish this later”, they most likely won’t get the task done. So, simply think of it this way: sit down to start something, and only get up when you’re finished. If the ‘something’ is a long-term project or something along those terms, divide the long-term work into smaller tasks and get those done one at a time. Though don’t leave those half complete.

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Plan. The best way to plan things is by getting a planner, something you can keep with you at all times. By planning ahead, students reduce stress and manage their time. When tasks are written down in a planner, people tend to avoid procrastination, simply because they feel more responsible. This is because every time a student looks at their planner, it’s a reminder of what needs to get done.

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⓷ Create a study plan. Students stay organised through creating and keeping, of course, a study plan. A plan goes a step further by making time spent learning and studying more regulated. ⓸ Find an ideal space, preferably not your dorm room. When you study in the same place you relax in, you’ll likely end up relaxing without even realising it. Look for an ideal space—say, the library for example. There may still be the likelihood of feeling a bit pressured to study, but you will still feel more at ease.	x	⓹ Organisation. Keeping an organised workspace and preventing forgotten assignments reduces stress, boosts confidence and saves time. According to the Muggle school Princeton University, which is in America, “Previous research indicates that the degree to which a student’s workspace is organized can impact their academic performance. Current literature shows that an organized desk produces better focus and efficiency.” ⓺ Take effective notes and actively recall. When notes are taken and they are effective, actively recalling them will be more practical than just studying the content later and not paying any attention in classes.
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Take breaks whilst studying. Cramming it all in just one session without any breaks certainly sounds like a nightmare. So, every twenty five minutes you study, take a five-minute break, for example. In these breaks, attempt not to get too distracted, go drink a glass of water or quickly meditate.

Spread out study sessions. Would you rather study two hours in a day or twenty minutes each day spread out in a couple of days? Ask yourself this, and once you respond, proceed with your final answer.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. They just have to put in effort, focus, and commitment. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Studying effectively is a skill absolutely anyone can learn. Always remember that practise is how skills are best learnt. This school year is a fresh start for any and all students who are hoping to achieve more, which anyone can do. They just have to put in effort, focus and commitment.

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19

PAGE 19.

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WHY HOGWARTS’ HEADS REALLY LEFT THEIR CHAIRS

──────────────────────────────────=By Jürgen Hess, Gryffindor

	x	The Daily Prophet may be calling it a “harmonious transition”, but sources and portraits inside Hogwarts tell a rather different story. Within the span of one dinner hour, all four Heads of House – Professors Caradoc Browne of House Hufflepuff, Galahad Browne of House Gryffindor, Professor Marcus Iwasaki of House Ravenclaw, and Professor Lesmana Asmaralaya of House Slytherin, alongside Deputy Headmistress Hjørdis Jensen (known to most of us as “Nora”) – resigned from their posts on Sunday, October 19, without warning. Headmaster Lear insists this is “not a scandal”, which, of course, is exactly what people say when it absolutely is.	x
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❝...we advise all Hogwarts students to carry extra salt, trust no parchment bearing a Ministry seal, and keep your wands polished and your dreams recorded.❞

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Ministry officials were conveniently already on the grounds the following Monday morning, reportedly to “assist with the transition”. One might wonder: when did the Ministry begin providing such attentive service to educational institutions? Or has Hogwarts quietly become one with the Ministry? Former students may remember that these same professors stood against several Ministry education reforms and submitted multiple safety complaints without response. One unnamed staff member claims the discussions had “grown heated” behind closed doors.	x	In fact, it seems the Ministry’s “Department of Magical Education” has been pushing for structural compliance, a phrase that always precedes trouble. Rumours shared by a Ministry worker whisper of magical interference in the wards, a cover-up of some unexpected injuries and perhaps a conspiracy that goes as high as the Minister of Magic. The Prophet would have you believe it’s a simple matter of “progress”. But if you ask the portraits, and	x	I did, they’ll tell you the walls themselves are restless. Headmaster Lear’s statement that “old magic requires room to breathe” might be truer than he meant. Some of us suspect that what’s breathing may not be entirely friendly! Until then, we advise all Hogwarts students to carry extra salt, trust no parchment bearing a Ministry seal, and keep your wands polished and your dreams recorded. Because if Hogwarts is truly changing, then something, or someone, has already decided how. =
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Editor’s Note: The Ministry has declined to comment, though we did receive a suspiciously heavy basket of “gift biscuits” this morning. They’ve been fed to the nifflers. They appear fine. For now.

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DATE SPOTS PG. 04

GOSSIP PG. 08

SPIRIT WEEK PG. 09

HEADS LEAVING PG. 19