19 Jan 2020, 17:33
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Jack Burnett
Ruka hadn‘t been able to sleep in two days.
He wasn‘t sure exactly why, he just knew that no matter how exhausted his body seemed to get, his mind kept him awake to torture him all night.
Things had gotten a bit better when he’d found his dad’s picture, but now it seemed like he had done one step forward, two steps back. He had started to sleep with the picture clutched to his chest, desperately clinging to it like it was a lifeline. During class he had found himself obsessively staring at his dad’s face as if he was somehow scared he could forget what he looked like if he didn’t constantly study his features.
Talking to other people had become difficult again as well; it felt like everyone was annoying him because they took time away from looking at his picture, like they were just wasting his time. His head constantly hurt at the sound of other people’s voices, his appetite had shrunk so far he usually only attended one meal a day anymore, and while everyone else was outside he still obsessively practiced his Fire Dance in the rehearsal room as if he could get closer to his dad again that way.
His days were exhausting and his nights even worse, his mind reeling with memories, sorrow, anger and resentment.
And he was so tired.
He wasn’t quite sure what exactly had pulled him out of bed that night, dressed only in his light blue pyjamas and a pair of grey socks. He had snuck around patrolling teachers and roaming ghosts, had tiptoed through corridors and up stairs until he had found himself at the top of the Astronomy tower.
It was unlocked that night, fortunately, for whatever reason, and there didn’t seem to be an ongoing class anymore as it must have been close to four in the morning already. Maybe some other student had snuck out here before him and left the door open. Ruka sent that student a mental Thank You.
Still, Ruka’s heart pounded a little at the thought of getting caught here; Only for a moment, however, as shortly afterwards a numbness took over him that just urged his feet to step into the cold, dark night, shivering a little as the chill crept up and down his skin.
This was good.
This was like Home.
The stars over his head felt familiar, the night air like an old friend. How often had he woken up early to watch the sunrise with his dad? How much had he neglected those little pleasures in life since he started attending Hogwarts?
He sighed a little as he just sat down on the floor and let the moonlight wash over him.
Someone was going to find him, he thought numbly. Someone was going to catch him and expell him, and he would have to live out the rest of his life on the streets to starve and die way too young.
Let them, a voice inside him muttered bitterly, and Ruka couldn’t help but agree. What did it really matter, right?
So despite his better judgement, he crossed his legs under him and tilted his head back to stare at the stars.
Let them find him.
Anyone.
All of them.
What did he really have left to lose anymore?
Ruka hadn‘t been able to sleep in two days.
He wasn‘t sure exactly why, he just knew that no matter how exhausted his body seemed to get, his mind kept him awake to torture him all night.
Things had gotten a bit better when he’d found his dad’s picture, but now it seemed like he had done one step forward, two steps back. He had started to sleep with the picture clutched to his chest, desperately clinging to it like it was a lifeline. During class he had found himself obsessively staring at his dad’s face as if he was somehow scared he could forget what he looked like if he didn’t constantly study his features.
Talking to other people had become difficult again as well; it felt like everyone was annoying him because they took time away from looking at his picture, like they were just wasting his time. His head constantly hurt at the sound of other people’s voices, his appetite had shrunk so far he usually only attended one meal a day anymore, and while everyone else was outside he still obsessively practiced his Fire Dance in the rehearsal room as if he could get closer to his dad again that way.
His days were exhausting and his nights even worse, his mind reeling with memories, sorrow, anger and resentment.
And he was so tired.
He wasn’t quite sure what exactly had pulled him out of bed that night, dressed only in his light blue pyjamas and a pair of grey socks. He had snuck around patrolling teachers and roaming ghosts, had tiptoed through corridors and up stairs until he had found himself at the top of the Astronomy tower.
It was unlocked that night, fortunately, for whatever reason, and there didn’t seem to be an ongoing class anymore as it must have been close to four in the morning already. Maybe some other student had snuck out here before him and left the door open. Ruka sent that student a mental Thank You.
Still, Ruka’s heart pounded a little at the thought of getting caught here; Only for a moment, however, as shortly afterwards a numbness took over him that just urged his feet to step into the cold, dark night, shivering a little as the chill crept up and down his skin.
This was good.
This was like Home.
The stars over his head felt familiar, the night air like an old friend. How often had he woken up early to watch the sunrise with his dad? How much had he neglected those little pleasures in life since he started attending Hogwarts?
He sighed a little as he just sat down on the floor and let the moonlight wash over him.
Someone was going to find him, he thought numbly. Someone was going to catch him and expell him, and he would have to live out the rest of his life on the streets to starve and die way too young.
Let them, a voice inside him muttered bitterly, and Ruka couldn’t help but agree. What did it really matter, right?
So despite his better judgement, he crossed his legs under him and tilted his head back to stare at the stars.
Let them find him.
Anyone.
All of them.
What did he really have left to lose anymore?
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
20 Jan 2020, 00:02
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Ruka Tân
Despite his reputation, it wasn't often that Jack liked to risk being caught out and about after curfew. However, with Opeila and Selim both accustomed to skipping hours of sleep at a time, Jack knew very well what sleep deprivation looked like. He also noticed that a certain head of dirty copper hair wasn't present at as many meal times in the Great Hall as usual.
Now the Slytherin boy wasn't in the habit of stalking people or sticking his nose into their business without a good reason that usually involved himself. Ruka Tân's unusual circumstances as a reckless, second-year Gryffindor who claimed he had nothing left to lose had worried Jack from the start, though. He felt he owed it to the fire-dancing young man to keep an eye on him and remind him of his need to survive. And when he began to see and hear of Ruka carrying around a photograph more and more often, his worries began to increase as well.
Thus the boy had taken to staking out the Gryffindor portrait entrance to their common room. He hadn't tried to get close enough to hear their password or sneak in, as that would have been far too risky, but he tried to stick around the area when he could, making an effort not to be seen. He had really wanted to purchase an invisibility cloak since he had first heard of them, but he still had a long way to save before he would have enough currency to buy one.
Fortunately, he discovered that if he stayed in a certain nook with his hood up without moving for long enough, no one seemed to notice he was there. His black robes allowed him to blend in with the shadows, but sitting so still for such long periods of time made him prone to falling asleep. And so it was that on the night Ruka decided to sneak out of his dormitory and common room, Jack was asleep quite nearby. At least until he was startled awake by the sound of the portrait entrance sliding open.
...Tân...? he wondered, blinking drowsily and attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes so he could make out the figure slipping down the hallway. It was dark, but he thought he recognized the way the fire-dancer moved by now and he was one of the few students who seemed to prefer going without shoes most of the time. At least when he could get away with it.
Determined to either find out where Ruka was going or get caught with him, Jack hurried after the pajama-clad figure. He soon discovered they were headed to the Astronomy Tower, as the Slytherin had visited it a couple of times before, and kept his distance as he continued to pursue the upperclassman up the many steps leading to the top.
At last the steps mercifully seemed to come to an end, but Jack found it harder than ever to keep quiet as his lungs struggled to regain the oxygen lost to them over the course of the long climb up. Unlike Ruka, the only physical activity he regularly practiced was running from bullies and he hadn't bothered to antagonize anyone enough for them want to chase him in a while.
"You!" he panted hoarsely as he pushed through the door to the outside. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What in the name of...Merlin's beard do you...have to do all the way up here? ...And at this time of night, no less?!""
Despite his reputation, it wasn't often that Jack liked to risk being caught out and about after curfew. However, with Opeila and Selim both accustomed to skipping hours of sleep at a time, Jack knew very well what sleep deprivation looked like. He also noticed that a certain head of dirty copper hair wasn't present at as many meal times in the Great Hall as usual.
Now the Slytherin boy wasn't in the habit of stalking people or sticking his nose into their business without a good reason that usually involved himself. Ruka Tân's unusual circumstances as a reckless, second-year Gryffindor who claimed he had nothing left to lose had worried Jack from the start, though. He felt he owed it to the fire-dancing young man to keep an eye on him and remind him of his need to survive. And when he began to see and hear of Ruka carrying around a photograph more and more often, his worries began to increase as well.
Thus the boy had taken to staking out the Gryffindor portrait entrance to their common room. He hadn't tried to get close enough to hear their password or sneak in, as that would have been far too risky, but he tried to stick around the area when he could, making an effort not to be seen. He had really wanted to purchase an invisibility cloak since he had first heard of them, but he still had a long way to save before he would have enough currency to buy one.
Fortunately, he discovered that if he stayed in a certain nook with his hood up without moving for long enough, no one seemed to notice he was there. His black robes allowed him to blend in with the shadows, but sitting so still for such long periods of time made him prone to falling asleep. And so it was that on the night Ruka decided to sneak out of his dormitory and common room, Jack was asleep quite nearby. At least until he was startled awake by the sound of the portrait entrance sliding open.
...Tân...? he wondered, blinking drowsily and attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes so he could make out the figure slipping down the hallway. It was dark, but he thought he recognized the way the fire-dancer moved by now and he was one of the few students who seemed to prefer going without shoes most of the time. At least when he could get away with it.
Determined to either find out where Ruka was going or get caught with him, Jack hurried after the pajama-clad figure. He soon discovered they were headed to the Astronomy Tower, as the Slytherin had visited it a couple of times before, and kept his distance as he continued to pursue the upperclassman up the many steps leading to the top.
At last the steps mercifully seemed to come to an end, but Jack found it harder than ever to keep quiet as his lungs struggled to regain the oxygen lost to them over the course of the long climb up. Unlike Ruka, the only physical activity he regularly practiced was running from bullies and he hadn't bothered to antagonize anyone enough for them want to chase him in a while.
"You!" he panted hoarsely as he pushed through the door to the outside. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What in the name of...Merlin's beard do you...have to do all the way up here? ...And at this time of night, no less?!""
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
20 Jan 2020, 05:12
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Jack Burnett
Usually Ruka was quite attentive, had an eye for things other people might not exactly notice, but tonight, it seemed. He stayed completely unaware of the shadowy figure following him through the castle, or the light steps not far behind him.
Maybe he was less sneaky than he thought he was, or just a lot more sleep deprived.
Sitting there on the floor of the Astronomy tower, he barely even heard the steps coming up the stairs either, but he did hear the creaking of the door as it opened, and to his own surprise he didn‘t even flinch or turn around to face whoever had caught him. Apparently he was more than prepared to be thrown off the school for sneaking out and breaking school rules.
He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable, his heartbeat surprisingly calm, his mind strangely at ease...
Then, however, he heard a familiar voice behind him, panting like he was about to lose a lung, and Ruka finally turned his head with open eyes to find Jack standing right there, panting, in crinkled day clothes like he‘d fallen asleep in them.
The Slytherin boy seemed incredulous, like he was somehow shocked to see Ruka here, but not like he had caught him by accident, rather like he had watched him doing something stupid with his own eyes.
„Were you following me?“ he asked, not accusingly, just curious. „I‘m flattered, really.“ he smiled weakly and patted the floor next to himself to offer Jack a seat.
It was chilly, but being actually dressed in day clothes gave Jack a bit of an advantage about that, so Ruka figured he wouldn‘t get too cold staying out here with him a bit.
Strangely enough, had Ruka been able to choose one person he knew for company in that moment, he would have chosen Jack. Maybe the universe didn‘t have it out for him that badly. It did send him a Guardian Devil after all.
„I could ask you the same thing. And why are you dressed?“ he snorted ungracefully, turning back to look at the night sky again, green eyes sparkling in the dim light.
He wondered, briefly, if Jack was actually some sort of Prefect but hadn‘t told him, and he was here to get Ruka expelled. What irony that would be. Then, however, he looked at Jack again and that worry went away.
No, the boy actually seemed... concerned? Maybe that wasn‘t exactly the right word, but Ruka couldn‘t think of a better one as he studied the Slytherin‘s face.
Jack‘s eyes looked almost black in the shimmer of the moonlight, his features even paler than they seemed during the day, his heaving breath rattling in the silence of the night. Had he just followed Ruka up here to make sure he was okay? To scold him? Out of curiosity?
„I couldn‘t sleep,“ he said finally, heart rate speeding up a bit as his mind wandered to the picture he‘d left in his bed, how it pulled him in just to taunt him, how his whole bed felt like it was haunted at this point. „And I just... had to get out.“
Out of his dorm, out of his mind, out from between those countless walls around him. Maybe Jack understood. Maybe he knew exactly what he was talking about.
Or maybe he would question his sanity again and leave Ruka to sulk by himself. Maybe that would be better too. That way if someone came up the tower, Ruka would be the only one getting in trouble. He really didn‘t want Jack to be caught in the net with him, no matter how much his mind seemed to want him to stay.
Usually Ruka was quite attentive, had an eye for things other people might not exactly notice, but tonight, it seemed. He stayed completely unaware of the shadowy figure following him through the castle, or the light steps not far behind him.
Maybe he was less sneaky than he thought he was, or just a lot more sleep deprived.
Sitting there on the floor of the Astronomy tower, he barely even heard the steps coming up the stairs either, but he did hear the creaking of the door as it opened, and to his own surprise he didn‘t even flinch or turn around to face whoever had caught him. Apparently he was more than prepared to be thrown off the school for sneaking out and breaking school rules.
He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable, his heartbeat surprisingly calm, his mind strangely at ease...
Then, however, he heard a familiar voice behind him, panting like he was about to lose a lung, and Ruka finally turned his head with open eyes to find Jack standing right there, panting, in crinkled day clothes like he‘d fallen asleep in them.
The Slytherin boy seemed incredulous, like he was somehow shocked to see Ruka here, but not like he had caught him by accident, rather like he had watched him doing something stupid with his own eyes.
„Were you following me?“ he asked, not accusingly, just curious. „I‘m flattered, really.“ he smiled weakly and patted the floor next to himself to offer Jack a seat.
It was chilly, but being actually dressed in day clothes gave Jack a bit of an advantage about that, so Ruka figured he wouldn‘t get too cold staying out here with him a bit.
Strangely enough, had Ruka been able to choose one person he knew for company in that moment, he would have chosen Jack. Maybe the universe didn‘t have it out for him that badly. It did send him a Guardian Devil after all.
„I could ask you the same thing. And why are you dressed?“ he snorted ungracefully, turning back to look at the night sky again, green eyes sparkling in the dim light.
He wondered, briefly, if Jack was actually some sort of Prefect but hadn‘t told him, and he was here to get Ruka expelled. What irony that would be. Then, however, he looked at Jack again and that worry went away.
No, the boy actually seemed... concerned? Maybe that wasn‘t exactly the right word, but Ruka couldn‘t think of a better one as he studied the Slytherin‘s face.
Jack‘s eyes looked almost black in the shimmer of the moonlight, his features even paler than they seemed during the day, his heaving breath rattling in the silence of the night. Had he just followed Ruka up here to make sure he was okay? To scold him? Out of curiosity?
„I couldn‘t sleep,“ he said finally, heart rate speeding up a bit as his mind wandered to the picture he‘d left in his bed, how it pulled him in just to taunt him, how his whole bed felt like it was haunted at this point. „And I just... had to get out.“
Out of his dorm, out of his mind, out from between those countless walls around him. Maybe Jack understood. Maybe he knew exactly what he was talking about.
Or maybe he would question his sanity again and leave Ruka to sulk by himself. Maybe that would be better too. That way if someone came up the tower, Ruka would be the only one getting in trouble. He really didn‘t want Jack to be caught in the net with him, no matter how much his mind seemed to want him to stay.
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
20 Jan 2020, 07:42
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Ruka Tân
At first, the Slytherin found himself a little irked and it took him some time to realize why. How had he come to end up more flustered about having caught Ruka breaking curfew than the boy actually breaking the rules in the first place? Granted, Jack was breaking them as well, but he hadn't meant to on purpose. Besides, he wouldn't have had to if Ruka had just taken care of himself like any normal person would have.
But Ruka wasn't a normal person. And that was precisely why Jack couldn't let him just continue to wither and die like he seemed well on his way to doing. However, Ruka's complete lack of concern for having been caught indicated to Jack just how dire the situation seemed to be. Just how deep did the Gryffindor's apathy toward his own life run? Was the smiling, distracted performer playing with fire just a temporary mask he put up? The more Jack thought of it, the more he didn't know how he hadn't seen it before. Of course it was a mask. Hadn't he himself previously wondered how Ruka got by each day?
Silently cursing himself for not having paid better attention to all the obvious signs, the Slytherin took deep breaths of the night air, attempting to keep himself from saying anything too harsh or otherwise lashing out. It wouldn't have helped the situation at all and he needed to work on keeping his emotions in check. After all, he wasn't a friend, right? Just...a concerned peer.
Once he thought he had managed to calm himself enough, he took Ruka's que to sit down beside the other boy. Jack didn't bother answering the first question posed to him; they both already knew the answer. Instead, he tried to consider how to approach the issue at hand without letting his worries bleed all over everything and ruin any chance he had of making logical arguments.
"Why are you not dressed?" Jack answered Ruka's question with another question. "Unlike me, you actually chose to come up here. Shouldn't you have known better to wear more than just your pajamas and socks if you were going to spend time outdoors this high up in the middle of the night?" He was careful to keep his voice casual, crisscrossing his legs and propping his elbow on his knee so he could rest his chin on his palm. His gaze followed Ruka's up to the shining, starry heavens.
"I couldn‘t sleep," the Gryffindor admitted eventually, as Jack had hoped he would, given time. "And I just... had to get out."
"I can understand that, I think" the Slytherin answered softly. "What concerns me is how long you've felt like this. And that you seemed to think you had to keep it to yourself until now."
At first, the Slytherin found himself a little irked and it took him some time to realize why. How had he come to end up more flustered about having caught Ruka breaking curfew than the boy actually breaking the rules in the first place? Granted, Jack was breaking them as well, but he hadn't meant to on purpose. Besides, he wouldn't have had to if Ruka had just taken care of himself like any normal person would have.
But Ruka wasn't a normal person. And that was precisely why Jack couldn't let him just continue to wither and die like he seemed well on his way to doing. However, Ruka's complete lack of concern for having been caught indicated to Jack just how dire the situation seemed to be. Just how deep did the Gryffindor's apathy toward his own life run? Was the smiling, distracted performer playing with fire just a temporary mask he put up? The more Jack thought of it, the more he didn't know how he hadn't seen it before. Of course it was a mask. Hadn't he himself previously wondered how Ruka got by each day?
Silently cursing himself for not having paid better attention to all the obvious signs, the Slytherin took deep breaths of the night air, attempting to keep himself from saying anything too harsh or otherwise lashing out. It wouldn't have helped the situation at all and he needed to work on keeping his emotions in check. After all, he wasn't a friend, right? Just...a concerned peer.
Once he thought he had managed to calm himself enough, he took Ruka's que to sit down beside the other boy. Jack didn't bother answering the first question posed to him; they both already knew the answer. Instead, he tried to consider how to approach the issue at hand without letting his worries bleed all over everything and ruin any chance he had of making logical arguments.
"Why are you not dressed?" Jack answered Ruka's question with another question. "Unlike me, you actually chose to come up here. Shouldn't you have known better to wear more than just your pajamas and socks if you were going to spend time outdoors this high up in the middle of the night?" He was careful to keep his voice casual, crisscrossing his legs and propping his elbow on his knee so he could rest his chin on his palm. His gaze followed Ruka's up to the shining, starry heavens.
"I couldn‘t sleep," the Gryffindor admitted eventually, as Jack had hoped he would, given time. "And I just... had to get out."
"I can understand that, I think" the Slytherin answered softly. "What concerns me is how long you've felt like this. And that you seemed to think you had to keep it to yourself until now."
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
20 Jan 2020, 08:25
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
Ruka had the faint impression that Jack was somehow upset with him being up here in the middle of the night in just his pyjamas, and for some reason it made his eyes light up a bit.
Jack cared.
No matter how much the Slytherin pretended to be a lone wolf who didn‘t need nor want anybody around, he cared enough to have followed Ruka up here in the middle of the night, and enough to find Ruka‘s possible displeasure irksome in a way.
Do I spot a crack in your wall, Jack Burnett? he thought as the Slytherin sat down next to him, clearly deciding to stay for a while, no matter how much he disapproved of Ruka being there in the first place.
„I don‘t get cold easily,“ he explained with a shrug, quickly comparing their attire. Where Jack was wrapped up in his cloak, Ruka‘s scarred skin showed between the buttons of his flannel pyjamas, and where Jack‘s feet were safely tucked away in a pair of shoes, Ruka‘s left heel showed through a hole in his old grey sock.
He averted his gaze for a moment when Jack asked him how long he‘d felt like this, and this time it was Ruka wondering if Jack could somehow see inside his mind.
Did the Slytherin really know how he felt? Could he see the deep seated apathy in his eyes? The desperate need to survive and the wrecking realisation that he had nothing worth surviving for? Could he really know of all those sleepless nights and painful days when nothing but the tickling of flames on his skin or the sting of freezing cold air on his face seemed to really wake him up?
„Don‘t really have anybody to talk to, do I?“ he asked with a sad chuckle, gently nudging Jack‘s side with his elbow. „Not really at least. The curse of us brick builders is that we tend not to leave doors for the people on the outside.“ He smiled a little, eyes dropping down into his lap as he blinked away a few tears threatening to escape.
It definitely wouldn‘t do to cry in front of Jack who clearly had a million issues of his own to deal with.
For a moment, Ruka remained quiet, just enjoying the feeling of someone next to him. Someone he didn‘t need to so desperately pretend to be someone else with.
Then, after a couple of minutes, he couldn‘t really keep the silence up anymore. „Do you ever feel like it‘s just not worth it?“ Life, he decided not to add, hoping Jack would understand what he‘s talking about. „All this bullshit, day in, day out, struggling through every single thing you‘re thrown at and for what?“
He looked back up at the sky, leaning back a little to get a better glimpse at the stars.
„Sometimes I just need to... not feel like part of this world. What better place to do that than among the stars, right?“
Jack cared.
No matter how much the Slytherin pretended to be a lone wolf who didn‘t need nor want anybody around, he cared enough to have followed Ruka up here in the middle of the night, and enough to find Ruka‘s possible displeasure irksome in a way.
Do I spot a crack in your wall, Jack Burnett? he thought as the Slytherin sat down next to him, clearly deciding to stay for a while, no matter how much he disapproved of Ruka being there in the first place.
„I don‘t get cold easily,“ he explained with a shrug, quickly comparing their attire. Where Jack was wrapped up in his cloak, Ruka‘s scarred skin showed between the buttons of his flannel pyjamas, and where Jack‘s feet were safely tucked away in a pair of shoes, Ruka‘s left heel showed through a hole in his old grey sock.
He averted his gaze for a moment when Jack asked him how long he‘d felt like this, and this time it was Ruka wondering if Jack could somehow see inside his mind.
Did the Slytherin really know how he felt? Could he see the deep seated apathy in his eyes? The desperate need to survive and the wrecking realisation that he had nothing worth surviving for? Could he really know of all those sleepless nights and painful days when nothing but the tickling of flames on his skin or the sting of freezing cold air on his face seemed to really wake him up?
„Don‘t really have anybody to talk to, do I?“ he asked with a sad chuckle, gently nudging Jack‘s side with his elbow. „Not really at least. The curse of us brick builders is that we tend not to leave doors for the people on the outside.“ He smiled a little, eyes dropping down into his lap as he blinked away a few tears threatening to escape.
It definitely wouldn‘t do to cry in front of Jack who clearly had a million issues of his own to deal with.
For a moment, Ruka remained quiet, just enjoying the feeling of someone next to him. Someone he didn‘t need to so desperately pretend to be someone else with.
Then, after a couple of minutes, he couldn‘t really keep the silence up anymore. „Do you ever feel like it‘s just not worth it?“ Life, he decided not to add, hoping Jack would understand what he‘s talking about. „All this bullshit, day in, day out, struggling through every single thing you‘re thrown at and for what?“
He looked back up at the sky, leaning back a little to get a better glimpse at the stars.
„Sometimes I just need to... not feel like part of this world. What better place to do that than among the stars, right?“
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
20 Jan 2020, 10:03
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Ruka Tân
"'Don't get cold easily'?" Jack repeated with a sneer. "Oh, yes...I was meaning to ask you about that. Well, not exactly that, but you just reminded me of it." He turned his head to regard his Gryffindor counterpart. "Your last name...is it Welsh? I didn't place it before, because you don't sound like you have a Welsh accent, but...'Tân'? 'Fire'?"
He uttered a soft laugh. "You seem to have a greater connection with the element than I first realized. Your passion, your brilliance, your first use of magic, your personality, your wand, your house - even your very name matches up. What are the odds?"
Was this small talk? Jack didn't know; he didn't normally bother with small talk. It felt comfortable to talk to Ruka in this way, though. Perhaps he was stalling for time in order to avoid broaching the subject of less comfortable things.
He might have offered his cloak or something more, but Ruka genuinely seemed fine, so Jack let him be. Perhaps he had been used to harsher conditions than this in less cover than he currently had on. Jack found he didn't want to think about it. He himself had never known what it was to want for anything in the way of physical needs, being an only child of two fairly successful parents. They were muggles, surely, and perhaps middle-class, but they had all they'd ever needed to live comfortable, happy lives. The Slytherin couldn't have imagined what it would have been like to do with less and his inability made him feel guilty.
There was one thing he did know, though, and he thought it was enough to allow him to truthfully say he understood. He knew the fear of losing everything and everyone that seemed worth living for. Even if he had never been in that situation, Jack knew enough to know he wouldn't have been able to survive as long as Ruka had in his shoes.
But Ruka was stronger than him. He must have been to still stick around this long. And for as long as that little flame had managed to burn against the wind on its own, Jack wasn't about to let it go out now. If Ruka lacked motivation, lacked fuel to burn, then Jack would feed him more - even if he had to create it himself.
"Don‘t really have anybody to talk to, do I?" His elbow nudge caused Jack to turn and look at him. "Not really at least. The curse of us brick builders is that we tend not to leave doors for the people on the outside."
God, why did he have to smile like that? Jack didn't think actual arrows could have hurt more or pierced deeper than that smile did. It took the Slytherin a minute to try to swallow the knot that had suddenly formed in his throat. He didn't like the idea of how he would have probably sounded if he had tried to reply just then, so he bided his time and waited until he was confident he could talk normally again.
"Do you ever feel like it‘s just not worth it?"
Those words alone stopped Jack's blood in his veins. They basically summarized what he'd feared had been going through Ruka's mind all this time. Now that it was being confirmed, Jack was shocked at just how hard it was for him to hear coming out of the Gryffindor's own mouth.
"All this bullshit, day in, day out, struggling through every single thing you‘re thrown at and for what?"
The fire-dancer was looking at the stars again - those brilliant, flaming balls of gas millions of miles away - as if he wished he could become one of them.
"Sometimes I just need to... not feel like part of this world. What better place to do that than among the stars, right?"
But that wouldn't do. Someone needed him here. Right here, on this Earth, in this world. Didn't he know that?
Perhaps he wasn't as all-knowing as Jack had first thought him to be. If he really had walls as high and thick as Jack had built his, of course he wouldn't know. The more solid one built their fortress, the harder it was to see out of it. Jack, however, had made a tower with a window, and it was out of that window he thought he was starting to see that Ruka need to be bailed out of his own fortress. The question was...could he do it? You couldn't save someone who didn't want to be saved.
Well, there was no way to find out unless he tried.
"So, what? You want to become like Peter Pan?" Jack asked; not mockingly, but especially gently, either. "Spirited away and raised by amoral fairies? Or maybe you want to become like Howell Jenkins, the Welsh man who escaped to a different world with a star that became a fire demon so he could re-invent himself as Wizard Howl, the man without a heart?"
Jack uncrossed his legs and turned to face Ruka directly. "I've read all the stories. I've made all the speculations. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter how you try to forget, emotions will always follow you. Humans can't help caring. It's part of what makes us human. The only way to stop is by ending your life, and I'm not letting you take that easy way out."
Realizing his volume and temper were rising, the Slytherin took a moment to cool himself off, trying to remember how Ruka had managed to talk him down not long ago. He didn't have any right to get upset about Ruka's feelings. The other boy told them to Jack because Jack thought he could accept them as they were; not get upset over them. Right? They weren't friends. Were they?
What constituted friends, again?
At that point, Jack didn't really care. He could feel his throat constricting again and he wanted to get what he needed to say out before he couldn't speak anymore.
"Ruka," he said, forcing himself to speak the name. He needed the Gryffindor to know he was serious. "Listen to me. 'To the world, you may be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.'" His eyes narrowed at the fact that they threatened to overflow. Still, he wouldn't let himself look away from the other boy.
"I know it must be...unbelievably difficult. I can't pretend to know what it's like for you." Jack tried to clear his throat, but it did little to help his difficulty speaking. "But...I think your dad...would still want you to be a part of this world as long as you can." Unable to bear it any longer, the Slytherin looked down once his sight was too blurry to see Ruka's face. "And I want you to be, too. Because there's still so much to see and do and live for that you haven't experienced yet. So please - " A crack in the boy's voice caused him to stop a second to try again. "...please don't talk like that."
"'Don't get cold easily'?" Jack repeated with a sneer. "Oh, yes...I was meaning to ask you about that. Well, not exactly that, but you just reminded me of it." He turned his head to regard his Gryffindor counterpart. "Your last name...is it Welsh? I didn't place it before, because you don't sound like you have a Welsh accent, but...'Tân'? 'Fire'?"
He uttered a soft laugh. "You seem to have a greater connection with the element than I first realized. Your passion, your brilliance, your first use of magic, your personality, your wand, your house - even your very name matches up. What are the odds?"
Was this small talk? Jack didn't know; he didn't normally bother with small talk. It felt comfortable to talk to Ruka in this way, though. Perhaps he was stalling for time in order to avoid broaching the subject of less comfortable things.
He might have offered his cloak or something more, but Ruka genuinely seemed fine, so Jack let him be. Perhaps he had been used to harsher conditions than this in less cover than he currently had on. Jack found he didn't want to think about it. He himself had never known what it was to want for anything in the way of physical needs, being an only child of two fairly successful parents. They were muggles, surely, and perhaps middle-class, but they had all they'd ever needed to live comfortable, happy lives. The Slytherin couldn't have imagined what it would have been like to do with less and his inability made him feel guilty.
There was one thing he did know, though, and he thought it was enough to allow him to truthfully say he understood. He knew the fear of losing everything and everyone that seemed worth living for. Even if he had never been in that situation, Jack knew enough to know he wouldn't have been able to survive as long as Ruka had in his shoes.
But Ruka was stronger than him. He must have been to still stick around this long. And for as long as that little flame had managed to burn against the wind on its own, Jack wasn't about to let it go out now. If Ruka lacked motivation, lacked fuel to burn, then Jack would feed him more - even if he had to create it himself.
"Don‘t really have anybody to talk to, do I?" His elbow nudge caused Jack to turn and look at him. "Not really at least. The curse of us brick builders is that we tend not to leave doors for the people on the outside."
God, why did he have to smile like that? Jack didn't think actual arrows could have hurt more or pierced deeper than that smile did. It took the Slytherin a minute to try to swallow the knot that had suddenly formed in his throat. He didn't like the idea of how he would have probably sounded if he had tried to reply just then, so he bided his time and waited until he was confident he could talk normally again.
"Do you ever feel like it‘s just not worth it?"
Those words alone stopped Jack's blood in his veins. They basically summarized what he'd feared had been going through Ruka's mind all this time. Now that it was being confirmed, Jack was shocked at just how hard it was for him to hear coming out of the Gryffindor's own mouth.
"All this bullshit, day in, day out, struggling through every single thing you‘re thrown at and for what?"
The fire-dancer was looking at the stars again - those brilliant, flaming balls of gas millions of miles away - as if he wished he could become one of them.
"Sometimes I just need to... not feel like part of this world. What better place to do that than among the stars, right?"
But that wouldn't do. Someone needed him here. Right here, on this Earth, in this world. Didn't he know that?
Perhaps he wasn't as all-knowing as Jack had first thought him to be. If he really had walls as high and thick as Jack had built his, of course he wouldn't know. The more solid one built their fortress, the harder it was to see out of it. Jack, however, had made a tower with a window, and it was out of that window he thought he was starting to see that Ruka need to be bailed out of his own fortress. The question was...could he do it? You couldn't save someone who didn't want to be saved.
Well, there was no way to find out unless he tried.
"So, what? You want to become like Peter Pan?" Jack asked; not mockingly, but especially gently, either. "Spirited away and raised by amoral fairies? Or maybe you want to become like Howell Jenkins, the Welsh man who escaped to a different world with a star that became a fire demon so he could re-invent himself as Wizard Howl, the man without a heart?"
Jack uncrossed his legs and turned to face Ruka directly. "I've read all the stories. I've made all the speculations. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter how you try to forget, emotions will always follow you. Humans can't help caring. It's part of what makes us human. The only way to stop is by ending your life, and I'm not letting you take that easy way out."
Realizing his volume and temper were rising, the Slytherin took a moment to cool himself off, trying to remember how Ruka had managed to talk him down not long ago. He didn't have any right to get upset about Ruka's feelings. The other boy told them to Jack because Jack thought he could accept them as they were; not get upset over them. Right? They weren't friends. Were they?
What constituted friends, again?
At that point, Jack didn't really care. He could feel his throat constricting again and he wanted to get what he needed to say out before he couldn't speak anymore.
"Ruka," he said, forcing himself to speak the name. He needed the Gryffindor to know he was serious. "Listen to me. 'To the world, you may be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.'" His eyes narrowed at the fact that they threatened to overflow. Still, he wouldn't let himself look away from the other boy.
"I know it must be...unbelievably difficult. I can't pretend to know what it's like for you." Jack tried to clear his throat, but it did little to help his difficulty speaking. "But...I think your dad...would still want you to be a part of this world as long as you can." Unable to bear it any longer, the Slytherin looked down once his sight was too blurry to see Ruka's face. "And I want you to be, too. Because there's still so much to see and do and live for that you haven't experienced yet. So please - " A crack in the boy's voice caused him to stop a second to try again. "...please don't talk like that."
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
20 Jan 2020, 15:05
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
Ruka raised his eyebrows at Jack‘s observation, a little taken a back that the other boy had even wasted a thought on his last name at all. „It is,“ he said, smiling a bit, eyes shining fondly. „My dad told me my mum was Bulgarian, and apparently Ruka is Bulgarian for ‚Hand‘? I am literally the Hand of Fire.“ He chuckled, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all.
It felt like his whole life had been planned out for him just by the name he was given, his House, his personality, his talents, his everything.
He wondered, for a second, if there was some kind of magic in a name. If names actually had the power to influence someone‘s life.
He wasn‘t sure if that would make him feel worse or better.
With a little smile he looked over at Jack, who made him feel so at ease, so much more relaxed and more alive than he had in days. What irony that the one person who had from the start claimed that he was better at making people hate him rather than like him was the person he seemed to be able to bond with so much quicker and easier than he ever had with anybody else.
He sucked in a breath when Jack finally spoke again after his little rant about the uselessness of existence, and the Slytherin‘s words made him bite back a little smile.
Of course Jack was the type of person to have read all about adventurers and tricksters, the type of person who had done all the musings and speculations those stories had to offer.
Despite the firm tone of Jack‘s voice, Ruka couldn‘t help but feel... At ease. It was like a breath of fresh air, like someone had finally taken him by the shoulders and shouted at him to snap out of it.
Ruka wanted to say something, wanted to make a smart-ass remark about how he was short enough to fit in with the fairies in Neverland or how he already had Peter Pan‘s red hair, but something about Jack‘s entire demeanour made him bite his tongue.
He shuffled around to face the boy next to him properly, hands twitching as if he wanted to reach out and pull the other boy into a comforting hug, but his mind resisted.
Jack didn’t need a hug, he needed for Ruka to stop wallowing in misery because...
Had the other boy just said his first name?
Ruka blinked a few times in refreshing surprise, lips parted a little. The sound of his name on Jack’s lips was foreign, strange, like someone talking in a foreign, long lost and forgotten tongue.
It made the Gryffindor discard his thoughts for a moment to really look at Jack, to really see him, pale and small and broken in the shimmering moonlight, like something out of those stories he seemed to enjoy.
They looked alike, Ruka noticed with a surprised blink. Jack was taller and not quite as skinny, their eyes were a different colour and Jack’s were more slanted, his features more angled and mischievous where Ruka’s features were soft and rounder, but they shared the same copper hair, the same pale skin, and that same look on their faces, like it was just themselves against the rest of the world.
Maybe, Ruka thought, it could be the two of them against the rest of the world instead.
With a small sigh Ruka avoided eye contact again as Jack tried to make him see that there were people on Earth who needed him, even wanted him there; That wasn’t something he really wanted to think about these days. It was so much easier to just focus on himself and keep other people away from the depths of his existence.
When he looked up again, however, he couldn’t help the small sob escaping his mouth as he stared into Jack’s misty eyes, tears building a shimmering layer over his pupils.
This was actually important to the other boy.
This boy who didn’t seem to think anything was that serious, who didn’t want friends and didn’t want to get close to people was tearing up, voice cracking here and there, because of Ruka.
Out of everything he wanted to say to Jack, all the things running through his mind, what he eventually blurted out was: “I miss him.”
It was the first time he had actually stated it out loud, the first time he really admitted it to anybody but himself, and he wasn’t even completely sure Jack knew what he was talking about.
“And I... I don’t know what to do without him. I don’t have... I have nowhere to go and...” He took a deep breath and reached a hand up to feel hot tears smearing across his cheek.
So much for trying not to cry.
He looked back at the stars again, then down to Jack, just to see them reflected in his eyes.
“I don’t want to die,” he finally decided. He didn’t, really. He didn’t want to just be erased from existence, didn’t want to follow his dad into that scary afterworld where he may not even see him again. “I just want it to stop.” He shook his head, lifting his hands to tangle his fingers in his messy hair. “My head hurts all the time, and I can’t concentrate, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t... I’m so fucking scared.”
He looked at Jack, pleading eyes glistening in the dim light of the night sky. There was nothing the other boy could really do to fix this, Ruka knew that, didn’t expect anything from him, but he couldn’t help staring at Jack with trembling lips and tears staining his red cheeks.
So much for building a wall, he thought to himself.
He had to be a really horrible construction worker if this boy he barely knew was already well on his way to tear his wall into pieces.
It felt like his whole life had been planned out for him just by the name he was given, his House, his personality, his talents, his everything.
He wondered, for a second, if there was some kind of magic in a name. If names actually had the power to influence someone‘s life.
He wasn‘t sure if that would make him feel worse or better.
With a little smile he looked over at Jack, who made him feel so at ease, so much more relaxed and more alive than he had in days. What irony that the one person who had from the start claimed that he was better at making people hate him rather than like him was the person he seemed to be able to bond with so much quicker and easier than he ever had with anybody else.
He sucked in a breath when Jack finally spoke again after his little rant about the uselessness of existence, and the Slytherin‘s words made him bite back a little smile.
Of course Jack was the type of person to have read all about adventurers and tricksters, the type of person who had done all the musings and speculations those stories had to offer.
Despite the firm tone of Jack‘s voice, Ruka couldn‘t help but feel... At ease. It was like a breath of fresh air, like someone had finally taken him by the shoulders and shouted at him to snap out of it.
Ruka wanted to say something, wanted to make a smart-ass remark about how he was short enough to fit in with the fairies in Neverland or how he already had Peter Pan‘s red hair, but something about Jack‘s entire demeanour made him bite his tongue.
He shuffled around to face the boy next to him properly, hands twitching as if he wanted to reach out and pull the other boy into a comforting hug, but his mind resisted.
Jack didn’t need a hug, he needed for Ruka to stop wallowing in misery because...
Had the other boy just said his first name?
Ruka blinked a few times in refreshing surprise, lips parted a little. The sound of his name on Jack’s lips was foreign, strange, like someone talking in a foreign, long lost and forgotten tongue.
It made the Gryffindor discard his thoughts for a moment to really look at Jack, to really see him, pale and small and broken in the shimmering moonlight, like something out of those stories he seemed to enjoy.
They looked alike, Ruka noticed with a surprised blink. Jack was taller and not quite as skinny, their eyes were a different colour and Jack’s were more slanted, his features more angled and mischievous where Ruka’s features were soft and rounder, but they shared the same copper hair, the same pale skin, and that same look on their faces, like it was just themselves against the rest of the world.
Maybe, Ruka thought, it could be the two of them against the rest of the world instead.
With a small sigh Ruka avoided eye contact again as Jack tried to make him see that there were people on Earth who needed him, even wanted him there; That wasn’t something he really wanted to think about these days. It was so much easier to just focus on himself and keep other people away from the depths of his existence.
When he looked up again, however, he couldn’t help the small sob escaping his mouth as he stared into Jack’s misty eyes, tears building a shimmering layer over his pupils.
This was actually important to the other boy.
This boy who didn’t seem to think anything was that serious, who didn’t want friends and didn’t want to get close to people was tearing up, voice cracking here and there, because of Ruka.
Out of everything he wanted to say to Jack, all the things running through his mind, what he eventually blurted out was: “I miss him.”
It was the first time he had actually stated it out loud, the first time he really admitted it to anybody but himself, and he wasn’t even completely sure Jack knew what he was talking about.
“And I... I don’t know what to do without him. I don’t have... I have nowhere to go and...” He took a deep breath and reached a hand up to feel hot tears smearing across his cheek.
So much for trying not to cry.
He looked back at the stars again, then down to Jack, just to see them reflected in his eyes.
“I don’t want to die,” he finally decided. He didn’t, really. He didn’t want to just be erased from existence, didn’t want to follow his dad into that scary afterworld where he may not even see him again. “I just want it to stop.” He shook his head, lifting his hands to tangle his fingers in his messy hair. “My head hurts all the time, and I can’t concentrate, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t... I’m so fucking scared.”
He looked at Jack, pleading eyes glistening in the dim light of the night sky. There was nothing the other boy could really do to fix this, Ruka knew that, didn’t expect anything from him, but he couldn’t help staring at Jack with trembling lips and tears staining his red cheeks.
So much for building a wall, he thought to himself.
He had to be a really horrible construction worker if this boy he barely knew was already well on his way to tear his wall into pieces.
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
20 Jan 2020, 16:52
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Ruka Tân
"I miss him." That one, single admission forced Jack to look up, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.
"And I... I don't know what to do without him. I don't have... I have nowhere to go and...
The Slytherin reached over to drape his robes and arm about the shorter second-year like it was some sort of wing. He pulled him close enough that their shoulders touched, squeezing the Gryffindor as if, by doing so, he could wring out all the sorrow in them both.
"I don’t want to die, Ruka continued to say. "I just want it to stop." Jack recognized the forlornness in his gesture of entangling his fingers in his copper locks. "My head hurts all the time, and I can't concentrate, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't... I'm so fucking scared."
How stupid must Jack have been to think he knew what it was like to be scared when he hadn't ever actually known real loss like Ruka had? He'd never had a lack of food to eat, never had to work to live or worry about having a roof over his head at night. But Ruka had been through all of that and he had been fine. It was only being alone in the world that scared him - being alone like Jack had thought he'd always wanted to be. It was so strange how they could be so similar and yet so opposite at the same time.
"I know you don't want to die, but you obviously don't really want to live, either," Jack said quietly after a few attempts to clear his throat. "You want to be like someone? Take a note out of that Potter guy's book. Wasn't he known as 'the boy who lived' or something?" It was a miserable attempt at a joke, but in spite of the emotions he was trying to choke back, Jack desperately wanted to so something to make Ruka at least smile again. Reaching out, he tried to gently wipe the other boy's tears with the edge of his cloak.
"Let's just take things slowly, a little at a time, okay?" he suggested, enveloping Ruka under his robes even more. "I'll help you with your schoolwork. It might be easier if we do it together. I'm ahead in my own, anyway." He had to be in order to feign slacking off during class while still keeping on top of his studies. He'd never thought being ahead would have come in handy like this, though, if Ruka was in his second year and Jack was already trying to learn what he was learning.
"As far as eating and sleeping, I'll just have to spoon-feed you and wear you out with my presence until you're so tired you have to sleep. It's only way you'll be able to get a break from me." The Slytherin beamed fondly at the boy he was planning to torture with constant supervision and mothering. His own mother had hovered over and suffocated him enough in his younger years that he thought he had an idea of how to go about it.
"And if you're scared now, I hope you have some of that Gryffindor stupidity left in reserve to combat that fear, because you're going to need it. Once school is over, you're coming home to live with me and my parents in Wales."
Jack had already been writing home about Ruka and his parents had been so happy to hear that their son had made a friend (which he had to repeatedly insist was not the case). Once they had heard of Ruka circumstances, however, they had immediately suggested that the fire-dancing boy live with them. Jack had been rather uncomfortable with the idea at first, not wanting to think of him and Ruka as being that close for fear of the bond they would build. He had written back to his parents saying he wasn't sure if Ruka might have had other living arrangements planned for the summer, so it would have been getting ahead of themselves to extend the offer.
Now that he knew the other redhead had no such living arrangements planned, however, and that somehow his concern for Ruka's will to live overwhelmed his fear of growing too close to him, there was nothing keeping him from kidnapping his schoolmate once the school year ended.
"I miss him." That one, single admission forced Jack to look up, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.
"And I... I don't know what to do without him. I don't have... I have nowhere to go and...
The Slytherin reached over to drape his robes and arm about the shorter second-year like it was some sort of wing. He pulled him close enough that their shoulders touched, squeezing the Gryffindor as if, by doing so, he could wring out all the sorrow in them both.
"I don’t want to die, Ruka continued to say. "I just want it to stop." Jack recognized the forlornness in his gesture of entangling his fingers in his copper locks. "My head hurts all the time, and I can't concentrate, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't... I'm so fucking scared."
How stupid must Jack have been to think he knew what it was like to be scared when he hadn't ever actually known real loss like Ruka had? He'd never had a lack of food to eat, never had to work to live or worry about having a roof over his head at night. But Ruka had been through all of that and he had been fine. It was only being alone in the world that scared him - being alone like Jack had thought he'd always wanted to be. It was so strange how they could be so similar and yet so opposite at the same time.
"I know you don't want to die, but you obviously don't really want to live, either," Jack said quietly after a few attempts to clear his throat. "You want to be like someone? Take a note out of that Potter guy's book. Wasn't he known as 'the boy who lived' or something?" It was a miserable attempt at a joke, but in spite of the emotions he was trying to choke back, Jack desperately wanted to so something to make Ruka at least smile again. Reaching out, he tried to gently wipe the other boy's tears with the edge of his cloak.
"Let's just take things slowly, a little at a time, okay?" he suggested, enveloping Ruka under his robes even more. "I'll help you with your schoolwork. It might be easier if we do it together. I'm ahead in my own, anyway." He had to be in order to feign slacking off during class while still keeping on top of his studies. He'd never thought being ahead would have come in handy like this, though, if Ruka was in his second year and Jack was already trying to learn what he was learning.
"As far as eating and sleeping, I'll just have to spoon-feed you and wear you out with my presence until you're so tired you have to sleep. It's only way you'll be able to get a break from me." The Slytherin beamed fondly at the boy he was planning to torture with constant supervision and mothering. His own mother had hovered over and suffocated him enough in his younger years that he thought he had an idea of how to go about it.
"And if you're scared now, I hope you have some of that Gryffindor stupidity left in reserve to combat that fear, because you're going to need it. Once school is over, you're coming home to live with me and my parents in Wales."
Jack had already been writing home about Ruka and his parents had been so happy to hear that their son had made a friend (which he had to repeatedly insist was not the case). Once they had heard of Ruka circumstances, however, they had immediately suggested that the fire-dancing boy live with them. Jack had been rather uncomfortable with the idea at first, not wanting to think of him and Ruka as being that close for fear of the bond they would build. He had written back to his parents saying he wasn't sure if Ruka might have had other living arrangements planned for the summer, so it would have been getting ahead of themselves to extend the offer.
Now that he knew the other redhead had no such living arrangements planned, however, and that somehow his concern for Ruka's will to live overwhelmed his fear of growing too close to him, there was nothing keeping him from kidnapping his schoolmate once the school year ended.
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
20 Jan 2020, 18:22
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
For a split second, Ruka tensed at the feeling of Jack‘s arm and cloak wrapping around him, his skin tingling at the contact, his breath hitching in his throat.
Then, as fast as the tension came, it was replaced with a warmth he didn‘t even get from playing with fire. His shoulders relaxed and he let himself be pulled closer, warm and protected and cared for like he hadn‘t been in so long.
Even his summer holidays he‘d spent taking care of his dad rather than anybody taking care of him, and in a way Ruka had almost forgotten what it felt like to be hugged and comforted and kept safe from all the evils of the world.
Jack was the last person he‘d expected to give him that feeling again.
Ruka chuckled weakly at Jack‘s attempt at a joke, his eyes shining in appreciation when the other boy dabbed away at his tears to clean his cheeks of them.
„Teacher‘s pet,“ he teased as he unconsciously pressed a little closer to Jack. Paradoxically he only just now started to feel some chill of the night air. „Of course you‘d be that kid that‘s smarter than everyone else in and out of class.“ He could see Jack exactly that way; cooly pretending to be bored of class while practicing twice as hard out of class to stay ahead of everyone else anyway.
Still, with a small smile he let Jack know that he was grateful for the offer, and a nod confirmed that he was happy to take him up on it.
The thought of Jack spoon-feeding him actually made him bubble out a laugh, some lost tears dripping down his nose as his body shook with it. „God no, how will I be able to live with you babysitting me all day long?” he joked, looking up at Jack with fondness seeping from his eyes.
His thoughts drifted to Opeila for a second, how she had warned him not to start caring for Jack unless he wanted to get hurt, but looking at the Slytherin boy right now, Ruka didn’t think he’d ever felt more like he wanted to take the risk of getting hurt for the sake of someone’s company.
It took a moment for Ruka to really catch up on what else Jack was saying, but once he fully realised the offer, he gasped, slowly shaking his head at the other boy. “I couldn’t,” he said, voice shaking a bit at the thought.
Wales had to be beautiful; his father used to tell him stories of their family, how they used to live in the Welsh countryside until one of them had settled in Ireland for love.
Still, the offer was too big, and Ruka couldn’t see how he was supposed to take it.
“I have no money, I’d only bother your parents... another mouth to feed and all that...” He sighed heavily, unable to stop his face to light up with a new kind of hopefulness.
No, he told himself firmly. No, he wasn’t going to get his hopes up when he knew all too well that he would just end up being a burden to Jack’s family. They probably had enough to worry about without taking in a strange kid from the streets. “I’d love to see Wales,” he muttered anyway, a little flicker of life dancing in his eyes at the thought.
He wondered, for a second, what Jack’s home-life was like. What were his parents like? Was their house nice? Did they live in a city or by the countryside?
“Do you have siblings?” he asked quietly, eyes settling on a spot on the ground between them, fingers nervously fumbling with the edge of Jack’s cloak still draped around his shoulders. “I mean... maybe I could come visit for a week or so? But I’d never expect your family... I...” Finally, his resolve crumbled, a last few stray tears rolling down his cheeks. “You really mean it?” he asked.
I don’t think I could take it if you’re playing with me, he thought breathlessly before nodding briefly.
“If... if your family’s okay with that... I’d love to come to yours for the holidays. I’d... Yeah, I’d love to.”
Then, as fast as the tension came, it was replaced with a warmth he didn‘t even get from playing with fire. His shoulders relaxed and he let himself be pulled closer, warm and protected and cared for like he hadn‘t been in so long.
Even his summer holidays he‘d spent taking care of his dad rather than anybody taking care of him, and in a way Ruka had almost forgotten what it felt like to be hugged and comforted and kept safe from all the evils of the world.
Jack was the last person he‘d expected to give him that feeling again.
Ruka chuckled weakly at Jack‘s attempt at a joke, his eyes shining in appreciation when the other boy dabbed away at his tears to clean his cheeks of them.
„Teacher‘s pet,“ he teased as he unconsciously pressed a little closer to Jack. Paradoxically he only just now started to feel some chill of the night air. „Of course you‘d be that kid that‘s smarter than everyone else in and out of class.“ He could see Jack exactly that way; cooly pretending to be bored of class while practicing twice as hard out of class to stay ahead of everyone else anyway.
Still, with a small smile he let Jack know that he was grateful for the offer, and a nod confirmed that he was happy to take him up on it.
The thought of Jack spoon-feeding him actually made him bubble out a laugh, some lost tears dripping down his nose as his body shook with it. „God no, how will I be able to live with you babysitting me all day long?” he joked, looking up at Jack with fondness seeping from his eyes.
His thoughts drifted to Opeila for a second, how she had warned him not to start caring for Jack unless he wanted to get hurt, but looking at the Slytherin boy right now, Ruka didn’t think he’d ever felt more like he wanted to take the risk of getting hurt for the sake of someone’s company.
It took a moment for Ruka to really catch up on what else Jack was saying, but once he fully realised the offer, he gasped, slowly shaking his head at the other boy. “I couldn’t,” he said, voice shaking a bit at the thought.
Wales had to be beautiful; his father used to tell him stories of their family, how they used to live in the Welsh countryside until one of them had settled in Ireland for love.
Still, the offer was too big, and Ruka couldn’t see how he was supposed to take it.
“I have no money, I’d only bother your parents... another mouth to feed and all that...” He sighed heavily, unable to stop his face to light up with a new kind of hopefulness.
No, he told himself firmly. No, he wasn’t going to get his hopes up when he knew all too well that he would just end up being a burden to Jack’s family. They probably had enough to worry about without taking in a strange kid from the streets. “I’d love to see Wales,” he muttered anyway, a little flicker of life dancing in his eyes at the thought.
He wondered, for a second, what Jack’s home-life was like. What were his parents like? Was their house nice? Did they live in a city or by the countryside?
“Do you have siblings?” he asked quietly, eyes settling on a spot on the ground between them, fingers nervously fumbling with the edge of Jack’s cloak still draped around his shoulders. “I mean... maybe I could come visit for a week or so? But I’d never expect your family... I...” Finally, his resolve crumbled, a last few stray tears rolling down his cheeks. “You really mean it?” he asked.
I don’t think I could take it if you’re playing with me, he thought breathlessly before nodding briefly.
“If... if your family’s okay with that... I’d love to come to yours for the holidays. I’d... Yeah, I’d love to.”
~Hell is other people~ - Jean Paul Sartre
Stamina: 7 ~ Evasion: 10 ~ Strength: 4 ~ Wisdom: 14 ~ Arcane Power: 6 ~ Accuracy: 9
22 Jan 2020, 08:31
Oh, To Live Among The Stars
@Ruka Tân
There - that was the smile he had been hoping to see. The slight pressure against him startled Jack, but he welcomed it after a moment with a joy he didn't know he could feel. Thank goodness they were in separate houses or Jack wasn't sure he would have been able to get himself to part from the other boy. Was he just touch-starved, maybe? If he'd had more time to contemplate it, he might have scared himself, but once again, Ruka distracted him from his needless worries. This time, it was a teasing accusation about being a teacher's pet.
"Hey, listen," Jack retorted, trying to sound indignant but unable to keep the grin off his face. "Why would teachers try to make a pet out of someone who slacks off all class and makes them look bad? I don't do it for that." He snickered at the thought. "And I'm not necessarily smarter if I have to work just as hard - maybe even harder since I'm muggle-born. I just don't like anyone to know how hard I work because then they won't see me as competition. There are benefits to being overlooked and underestimated, y'know?"
He didn't know why he was explaining himself to this kid, but somehow he felt a little self-conscious. Like he cared what Ruka thought of him. Which, to his slight dismay, he realized he did, but with as deep as he was already, he knew that was the least of his worries. Therefore, there was no point in worrying about it at all; it was just a new reality he had to accept along with all the other changes and new perspectives Ruka was bringing Jack.
At the Gryffindor's voiced protests regarding his plans to babysit, the taller boy laughed and reached out to ruffle the other's hair. "I don't know, but you're going to have to get used to it along with everyone else. And quickly, because I'm starting from tonight onward."
Listening to the fire-dancer start to turn down his summer proposition and bring up reasons against it, the Slytherin playfully rolled his eyes. "Tân...I don't think you understand." He met the older boy's gaze. "My parents have been telling me to ask you to come live with us ever since I told them about you. I just wasn't sure if you had other plans. Like...living among the stars," he added with a weak smile. However, it was quickly overwritten with an ear-to-ear grin. "Now that I know you're free, though, you have no excuses left."
He held up his fingers as he began to count off the various topics Ruka had brought up. "Let's see...they're not going to expect an 11-year-old to have money, so that's irrelevant. You can't bother them because that's my job and no one does it better than me, but you're welcome to try. And honestly? They would probably love another mouth to feed because we can't finish the food we have fast enough. My dad keeps buying things he wants to try cooking, but he forgets or doesn't have time, so stuff goes bad. Also, I don't have any siblings, so they're probably dying to have someone else around who isn't me." Regarding Ruka and his similar appearance to himself, he chuckled, "Heck, we even look like we could be brothers. They'll love you, just wait and see."
His brows rose when the other boy talked about wanting to see Wales. "You haven't?" he asked, surprised. "Your last name is Welsh and you haven't even been to Wales? Wow...yeah, we're going to have to change that pronto."
He gave Ruka a flat look when the other redhead mentioned 'coming to visit for a week or so'. "Yeeeaaah...good luck escaping. Once you're there, the Burnetts aren't going to let you leave until it's time for school again. And even then, I'm still going to be following you around."
It was only when the second-year finally stated he would love to stay with their family for the holidays that Jack eased up on the teasing. His smile became softer again and he gave Ruka another quick squeeze before steering him toward the door that led inside.
"Good," he said simply. "Now...let's get you back to bed, shall we? I'm sure your dad's waiting to see you in your dreams."
There - that was the smile he had been hoping to see. The slight pressure against him startled Jack, but he welcomed it after a moment with a joy he didn't know he could feel. Thank goodness they were in separate houses or Jack wasn't sure he would have been able to get himself to part from the other boy. Was he just touch-starved, maybe? If he'd had more time to contemplate it, he might have scared himself, but once again, Ruka distracted him from his needless worries. This time, it was a teasing accusation about being a teacher's pet.
"Hey, listen," Jack retorted, trying to sound indignant but unable to keep the grin off his face. "Why would teachers try to make a pet out of someone who slacks off all class and makes them look bad? I don't do it for that." He snickered at the thought. "And I'm not necessarily smarter if I have to work just as hard - maybe even harder since I'm muggle-born. I just don't like anyone to know how hard I work because then they won't see me as competition. There are benefits to being overlooked and underestimated, y'know?"
He didn't know why he was explaining himself to this kid, but somehow he felt a little self-conscious. Like he cared what Ruka thought of him. Which, to his slight dismay, he realized he did, but with as deep as he was already, he knew that was the least of his worries. Therefore, there was no point in worrying about it at all; it was just a new reality he had to accept along with all the other changes and new perspectives Ruka was bringing Jack.
At the Gryffindor's voiced protests regarding his plans to babysit, the taller boy laughed and reached out to ruffle the other's hair. "I don't know, but you're going to have to get used to it along with everyone else. And quickly, because I'm starting from tonight onward."
Listening to the fire-dancer start to turn down his summer proposition and bring up reasons against it, the Slytherin playfully rolled his eyes. "Tân...I don't think you understand." He met the older boy's gaze. "My parents have been telling me to ask you to come live with us ever since I told them about you. I just wasn't sure if you had other plans. Like...living among the stars," he added with a weak smile. However, it was quickly overwritten with an ear-to-ear grin. "Now that I know you're free, though, you have no excuses left."
He held up his fingers as he began to count off the various topics Ruka had brought up. "Let's see...they're not going to expect an 11-year-old to have money, so that's irrelevant. You can't bother them because that's my job and no one does it better than me, but you're welcome to try. And honestly? They would probably love another mouth to feed because we can't finish the food we have fast enough. My dad keeps buying things he wants to try cooking, but he forgets or doesn't have time, so stuff goes bad. Also, I don't have any siblings, so they're probably dying to have someone else around who isn't me." Regarding Ruka and his similar appearance to himself, he chuckled, "Heck, we even look like we could be brothers. They'll love you, just wait and see."
His brows rose when the other boy talked about wanting to see Wales. "You haven't?" he asked, surprised. "Your last name is Welsh and you haven't even been to Wales? Wow...yeah, we're going to have to change that pronto."
He gave Ruka a flat look when the other redhead mentioned 'coming to visit for a week or so'. "Yeeeaaah...good luck escaping. Once you're there, the Burnetts aren't going to let you leave until it's time for school again. And even then, I'm still going to be following you around."
It was only when the second-year finally stated he would love to stay with their family for the holidays that Jack eased up on the teasing. His smile became softer again and he gave Ruka another quick squeeze before steering him toward the door that led inside.
"Good," he said simply. "Now...let's get you back to bed, shall we? I'm sure your dad's waiting to see you in your dreams."
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori