SONG I: 
This is how we will make our song! It is a mix of all ideas. So, firstly can you submit the chorus (please make it to all the themes and structures and line rhymes as described aboveName of song: A Broken Heart
Song theme: Calm
How many verses: 3.
How many choruses: 3
Yes/no bridge: yes.
Other format/structure information:
ReducioI thought we could do Chorus first, then Verse 1, then verse 2, then chorus, verse 3, bridge, and finish of with a chorus. That is unusual but sounds fun to make!
Also I thought the rhymes should be like this:
sentence..... ground
sentence....... sound
sentence....... fly
sentence .......... sky, etc, etc.
One or two lines we might include:
ReducioThe stars, sparkling in the sky
whispering to me below
a hope, a spark is the dark tunnel of the world.
Anything else about the song that we have to know: It won't be fast. It will be slow and melodious.
)Club member Mentions:
@Emily Harris
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
Have fun!
Last edited by Edith Walkers on 27 Sep 2025, 12:28, edited 1 time in total.
SONG I:
Reducio
@Emily Harris
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
Could you please start forming a verse/chorus/etc? Thanks a lot!
What I cobbled up... (needs editing, so if you like you can post a better version of this:)
ReducioThe sky is bright,
As you once were.
Come here tonight, (goes up then down in the end, hold 'tonight' for long)
And listen to these words:
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
And for the final time...
Before you disagree!
Come close to me now,
Show me all you have.
We'll split it for two,
And I'll have one half.
So... parts don't make sense, and I still don't know which is chorus/verse.... so HELP PLEASE
SONG I:
So how if the chorus is like just repeating the last word of the verse as an echo?Edith Walkers wrote: 12 Sep 2025, 19:57Reducio@Emily Harris
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
Could you please start forming a verse/chorus/etc? Thanks a lot!
What I cobbled up... (needs editing, so if you like you can post a better version of this:)
ReducioThe sky is bright,
As you once were.
Come here tonight, (goes up then down in the end, hold 'tonight' for long)
And listen to these words:
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
And for the final time...
Before you disagree!
Come close to me now,
Show me all you have.
We'll split it for two,
And I'll have one half.
So... parts don't make sense, and I still don't know which is chorus/verse.... so HELP PLEASE
"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." β Sirius Black
Visit my banner shop: Here!!
SONG I:
That's a great idea! If you could somehow explain it better, please @Vivi Grace, thanks!
SONG I:
For example take this verse:Edith Walkers wrote: 13 Sep 2025, 08:55 That's a great idea! If you could somehow explain it better, please @Vivi Grace, thanks!
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
(Chorus : fear me)
And for the final time...
Before you disagree!
(Chorus : disagree)
What I said was that the chorus would sing in a whisper but audible
"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." β Sirius Black
Visit my banner shop: Here!!
SONG I:
just a verse 1trust me when I say, it sounds better when you send itAs the wind was whistling, I heard a voice in my ear
The worlds 'I love you' came through and it sounded like your voice
I looked around thinking it couldn't be
There you were, with some other girl
I stood there crying,
My heart was dying, you had broke me and left.
SONG I:
Reducio
Okay, so using some of your ideas I made this up, what do you think?
(Backing singers in brackets)
As the wind was whistling, I heard a voice in my ear
The words 'I love you' and I thought that you said it,
There you were, with some other girl
I even cried a bit.
My heart was dying, you had broke me and left. (Broke me and left)
The sky is bright,
As you once were.
Come here tonight,
And listen to these words: (To these words)
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come close to me now,
Show me all you have. (All... you... have.)
We'll split it for two,
But you'll still have both halves.
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come closer, right now,
What make you so scared?
You believe I'm a monster,
With enormous teeth bared?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
The other girl's still there,
Hanging around,
You look at me,
Not moving, as if you were bound?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
[CLOSING; really quiet by the end]
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Leave me alone, now,
Go on, you can finally.. flee.
Then a loud applause... that's how it could sound like?
(Backing singers in brackets)
As the wind was whistling, I heard a voice in my ear
The words 'I love you' and I thought that you said it,
There you were, with some other girl
I even cried a bit.
My heart was dying, you had broke me and left. (Broke me and left)
The sky is bright,
As you once were.
Come here tonight,
And listen to these words: (To these words)
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come close to me now,
Show me all you have. (All... you... have.)
We'll split it for two,
But you'll still have both halves.
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come closer, right now,
What make you so scared?
You believe I'm a monster,
With enormous teeth bared?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
The other girl's still there,
Hanging around,
You look at me,
Not moving, as if you were bound?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
[CLOSING; really quiet by the end]
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Leave me alone, now,
Go on, you can finally.. flee.
Then a loud applause... that's how it could sound like?
What do you think,
Reducio
@Emily Harris
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
could you edit it, and post so it is better, because it needs improving...
SONG I:
I like it, but for the first verse, it sounds better I think when crying and dying are rhyming since you said you wanted rhymes?Edith Walkers wrote: 14 Sep 2025, 13:20ReducioOkay, so using some of your ideas I made this up, what do you think?
(Backing singers in brackets)
As the wind was whistling, I heard a voice in my ear
The words 'I love you' and I thought that you said it,
There you were, with some other girl
I even cried a bit.
My heart was dying, you had broke me and left. (Broke me and left)
The sky is bright,
As you once were.
Come here tonight,
And listen to these words: (To these words)
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come close to me now,
Show me all you have. (All... you... have.)
We'll split it for two,
But you'll still have both halves.
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Come to me once more
Before you disagree!
Come closer, right now,
What make you so scared?
You believe I'm a monster,
With enormous teeth bared?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
The other girl's still there,
Hanging around,
You look at me,
Not moving, as if you were bound?
I am no monster,
I'm just a girl,
So come closer, to me now (To... me... now)
We'll watch out story unfurl?
[CLOSING; really quiet by the end]
My heart is broken,
But you now fear me.
Leave me alone, now,
Go on, you can finally.. flee.
Then a loud applause... that's how it could sound like?
What do you think,
Reducio@Emily Harris
@Vivi Grace
@Ellie Randensmith
could you edit it, and post so it is better, because it needs improving...
I hope that doesn't sound rude!
SONG I:
Hmmm yes, but I think the lines are too long that way... what about
It's a bit longer but that way most of it rhymes? Idk
Reducio
As the wind was whistling,
I heard a voice in my ear
The words I've been waiting,
A long while to hear;
"I love you" you said,
Then when I turned my head,
There you were,
with someone... else.
I stood on the spot,
My heart starting to melt.
I stood there crying,
My heart was dying,
you had broke me and left.
I heard a voice in my ear
The words I've been waiting,
A long while to hear;
"I love you" you said,
Then when I turned my head,
There you were,
with someone... else.
I stood on the spot,
My heart starting to melt.
I stood there crying,
My heart was dying,
you had broke me and left.
It's a bit longer but that way most of it rhymes? Idk
SONG I:
@Ellie Randensmith what was your idea?