Words Overdue PV Siobhan McCarty Finished

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Date: ??/??/25 | Time: Late Evening | CC:#A94064

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When the words of her classmate had reached her ears, she was sure she had simply looked at them with a blank look. After nearly three months since her accident and the radio-silence she had recieved from Matthew, she was sure that their friendshp had ended then and there whenever she had passed out from the pain in the dingy gross abandoned bathroom.

She had been told that he had attempted to drag her passed out and pain riddled body down the corridor until a staff member had intervened. Bu she hadn't heard anything from him specifically until this moment. She'd heard the whispers. Rumors. The taunts and jeers thrown towards him. She had been moved from next to him in Potions under the guise of "being more comfortable" but she just wanted normalcy.

She had tried to get their peers to leave him alone. But her words were only thrown back in her face with an obscene tone of pity and concern towards her. She was blind not deaf and dumb. And Matthew didn't deserve what was happening to him. Siobhan desperately wanted to tell him. But he was avoiding her, or rather had been. Either out of guilt and shame, or perhaps anger towards her because she hadn't successfully stopped their classmates from teasing and harrassing him.

It had ended with more than one sob fest in her dormitory. And more than one screaming match with some ignorant studentwho didn't know what they were talking about because they didn't know the whole story. It had driven away some of her other friends and her dormmates because they wanted to shower and smother her with pity and sympathy. But she didn't need it.

She needed to talk to Matthew and so she had nodded and thanked the person who had verbally delivered the information that Matthew had given them.

Siobhan had nervously approached the Viaduct entrance and shivered as the air blew past her far too fast for comfort. She had no idea where Matthew was, if he was even present at the moment nor did she know how to traverse the darned thing. What if she walked all the way down and couldn't find Matthew? Or he decided to ignore her and run off leaving her alone? What if she fell over the side?

She would have closed her eyes but that wouldn't have made much of a difference. Taking a deep breath, she tentatively pressed her steps into the smooth stone and clung tightly with her hands to the railing as she walked the windy Viaduct towards a figure she hoped was maybe Matthew.

She wanted to apologize, give him a hug, and tell him she wasn't mad. That she just wanted her friend back. Maybe he didn't want to consider her his, but she considered him to be one of her best friends and if this truly drove them apart then what was the point of him wanting to talk to her.

Would he be scared of what she looked like? She had been given a few beautification potions to take as needed for her own confidence but she hadn't used one this afternoon. She didn't want to hide what had happened but she didn't want to scare him off. And she knew that it looked a mess. When she looked in her mirror, all she could see was the spider webbing and stretched skin that was harrassing the miniscule bits of her vision she had left. She tried not to be vain but she couldn't help it.

It hurt to look at. It hurt to be pitied.

Which is why she was so determined to make amends with Matthew. She wanted to stop him from being harrassed and herself from being treated like a fragile porcelain doll.

She finally was able to focus on a figure in the slight distance and given that nobody else was around, she filled in the blanks and moved towards it carefully. Still gripping the Viaduct railing she walked towards him with fear in her steps. Though this was genuine fear, the depth of the cavern beneath her was sending her into a spiral of nausea.
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| 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉: @ | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: @Matthew Campbell |
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Date: ??

With no one else in sight and the castle doors shut the world fell entirely silent. Above in the darkness only distant fragments of stars illuminated the sky and the world felt vast and endless. With no distractions or complications the world hushed its breath and stilled until there was nothing but the wind howling and the gentle silky stream of water below. A soundscape that would typically bring peace but now only left room for trepidation and nerves. Matthew was withdrawn and introspective, blaming himself and wallowing in the doubt of his insecurities and failures. Tears began to glisten under his eyes, cold on his cheeks as they ran.

Then quite suddenly the silence was breached, the moving of a door; the stumbling of feet; the gripping of frightened fingers. Even from a distance it was clear to see the change in her, not the physical ones, though they would soon be recognised, but in her demeanour. Siobhan was all the bravery of her house notoriety, or at least she had been before he stole it from her. Now, still, she stood independent and a credit to herself, but less sure, less confident from a burden that was not hers to bare. The girl that slowly gripped her way towards him was transformed, even if not to herself, to others. They would see her like all the childhood bully's had seen him, damaged, broken.

Matthew decidedly solemnly that he would not be like the ignorant. It was a testament to her character after all that she had been able to show such resilience in the wake of the traumatic events. Matthew couldn't imagine, didn't want to imagine, how devastating recovery must be going and of course he couldn't because he had not only hurt her but abandoned her since. Letting his fear and insecurity control him he had ran further denying her the closure she might require. It was heinous, he was no better than the ignorant, if anything he was worse.

Yet to change the past was out with the young boy's control, but the present was here and while it was likely impossible to truly make amends, he no longer wished to be a coward. No, Matthew would not run from this any longer. A mournful kind of smile adorning his face he walked towards the girl who had done nothing but try to help him from the moment they met and sobs already wavering his voice he spoke, "Hi Sio. It's me, I know I'm probably the last person you want around you but I had to apologise." Before letting her respond he took her hand and wrapping it tightly with his own he spluttered out more rambles, "I should have come sooner, I should have been there for you and I- I know I don't deserve you forgiveness, so I won't ask for it but I just want to know that I never wanted this to happen to you. I would never have hurt you on purpose. I promise."

By the time the final words were falling from his trembling lips he was a wreck of blurred vision from the swelling of tears that had overcome him. From this distance when the teras blinked away he could see the spider weave of scarring in her dulled eyes and the tight red skin that still wore the scars of recovery. It didn't look half as bad as the girl believed it to, but the sight still devastated the boy who caused them. The marks he had forever branded her with, the scars that would never heal. "I'm so sorry, Sio."

Interacting with @Siobhan McCarty

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Date: ??/??/25 | Time: Late Evening | CC:#A94064

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Holding her nausea at bay, she listened to the heartbreaking words that fell from the mouth of the boy in front of her. She could hear the quivering in his voice as she knew he tried to remain calm despite what was right in front of him. She knew that he, like all others, was looking at the webbing across her eyes.

She didn't want to force him to look at her but some selfish part of her wanted him to see what it was she was forced to live with for the rest of her life. Something in her hands twitched as she wanted to grab his hand and scream at him, curse him for the whole ordeal.

And yet her heart broke for him as his voiced cracked and her name escaped his lips with the minimalist of apologies. She knew he couldn't muster much more than what is was he had said already and with the feelings in her heart, she stepped closer to him. Gently, cautiously for fear that he may move too quickly and knock her off her balance, she embraced him with a hug.

It wasn't much. But her condolences went to him anyway.

"Matthew. I- I can't say that I'm not upset... I am... I hate the way that I look, my eyes- they're never going to be normal again. I'll lose the rest of my sight before I graduate. I don't know what my purpose will be when it happens... I should be so angry with you. But it was an accident and I know that if it could have been prevented... you would have stopped it. So I forgive you." She said as her arms held him close afraid he would run away again.

"Please don't run away from me. I- I need my friend and you're- I- Just-" She sputtered as she started to feel the overwhelming urge to break down. But she needed to be strong for him. Even if she couldn't be strong for herself, her conscious forced he to be strong for him.

Why couldn't she have just told him that she hated what he had subjected her too? She could get over the pain and the looks but the fact that he had run away from her like she was some freak? That hurt more than anything else. His ignorance of her made her want to crumble. She had even begged her parents to just pull her out of school, citing that the accident had made her lose all her friends.

Not that she had many anyway.

God was she pathetic. Here she was, crying again as she tried to console Matthew. He was objectively more sad then she ever could be and the hurt in his voice whenever he talked to her, despite him trying to hide it when the situation wasn't as such, Even before this entire situation, her heart was with him for the way that he had described what had been happening in his life.

This entire situation she knew was making him feel worse.

So she continued to hug him, praying silently that he would just accept her forgiveness so that they could learn to move on.
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| 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉: @ | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: @Matthew Campbell |
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Date: ??

As seconds passed like hours Matthew felt the chilling presence of each tear that helplessly leaked from his eyes. A storm of repressed emotions that he felt entirely unjust in his entitlement to. Here he was meant to be apologising to the real person who should be crying but instead he was only more a mess. How selfish was he truly capable of being, the thought striking through his already faltered state. But where he expected anger, where he practically begged for screaming instead fell away to embrace.

Standing in the dark murk of winter's wane he felt his body move without thought in response, embracing her with all the pent up guilt and sorrow he had weaved into such a tangled web. It was nothing short of desperation, and then as if the silence wasn't palpable her words cut through every layer of protection he had armoured himself in. Siobhan's forgiveness was no weight off his shoulder, no magical cure to release him from the shackles he had imposed. No, it was something far greater.

Ever since the day of his birth he had been a curse on those closest to him. The scent of death lingered under his skin rotting away at all the good potential and hope. It was a product of his birth and ever since the day he learned his true story he had wanted to apologise in such a similar manner. Yet never in his imaginings had he ever believed someone could act so composed in the face of despair. Sio was more saint that student and while she could have just forgiven him he understood her own need for his accountability. What he had been avoiding for so long had only deepened the ravine between them. She didn't seek revenge or wish that even with sight to never lay eyes upon him again. Sio wanted him in spite of it, wanted her friend.

So it was no breath of relief, but rather a confirmation that he was worthy of being better. That mistakes did not define a person but their actions to rectify it could. Negating the complex relationship with his mother's loss would never be easy, hell it felt far gone impossible. But in that closeness, with arms intertwined in a safe place, Matthew wondered if his mother would be as forgiving as Siobhan. If he was so held up in his own perception within his mind that truth became irrelevant. The guilt was still heart-breaking but unlike before a path seemed possible. A way forward for the pair who had so badly just wanted to help one another.

Hugging her deeper as her tears joined his own in a messy spill of wrecked emotion, he brushed the side of her hair away from her ear and in what meek voice he could summon whispered gently beneath the sniffles, "I can never take it back, and I will never not be sorry. But the worst thing that could happen would be to lose you as a friend. I couldn't do this without you Sio, I promise I'll never run from you again." The softness of the words was interrupted by more tears but as he pulled back ever so gently he moved so that there foreheads were touching. Then with the haunting presence of a hurting smile he said, "I know you think this means you've lost your purpose but as long as you allow me to remain by your side, we'll figure it out together. We're in this together, no matter what. I swear to you."

Then fumbling about, he found her hand and taking it he pressed his pinky finger to her own and hoped she would return the most important vow he may ever make. "Pinky promise?" Such youthful naivety flooded his words but the gentle exhale of breath gave away that while the premise was likely rather silly, he was nothing but his most serious. After all, to a muggle born that promise was as real as any unbreakable bond.

Interacting with @Siobhan McCarty

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Date: ??/??/25 | Time: Late Evening | CC:#A94064

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The moment wasn't funny- it was not supposed to be funny. But the fact that Matthew had moved their heads together and they were holding hands was just far too similar to something that would have happened in a TV Show or a cheesy romantic comedy. She felt her mouth contorting into a smile despite her best efforts to stop the muscles from constricting and rearranging themselves, her body betrayed her and a laugh broke out over the saddened silence that had formerly been shrouding the two of them.

Her pinky finger wrapped around his own as she continued to giggle and laugh in a way she hadn't done in a while. Matthew had a weird knack for making her smile and she was so grateful that despite the misfortune that usually brought them together, that once he was done being a bit of a sod, he would say something and she would smile.

"Thats silly... But okay-" Siobhan spoke finally when the giggles stopped and she pulled her forehead away from him so that she could 'see' him for his whole face and not just his eyes. Her face felt a little warm as she took her step back and gave him a bit of space.

"So... Does that mean we're friends again?" She asked with a small voice as she held her hands close to her chest. It almost seemed like it was too good to be true and to soon to tell. His track record wasn't great with her and she worried that when something came knocking, he'd go sprinting off in the opposite direction again. She felt the former joy fall from her face and the perpetual worry begin to creep into her expression as she looked towards him.

Her fingers twisted unevenly as she began to fret and worry with every passing moment between them. Sometimes, when people apologized to her, it wasn't for real- which drove a great wedge between her and whoever it was that apologized. It sounded toxic, but she had a hard time understanding the truth between what was really an attempt at reconciliation and what was just a fix-it-quick solution.

Matthew was looking at her, or had been at least when their foreheads were pressed together, and she wasn't a hundred percent sure that it wasn't with some sort of true apologetic feeling etched across his face. It made her heart feel full and she could hear his words echoing in her head as she tried to forget that the last time he had really looked at her- it was when he was running away from her at the Valentine's day event. It had to have been because she looked awful and he couldn't face looking at what he had caused. She didn't want to assume it was because he was with other friends. But he had most definitely run off quicker than she had expected him to and the look that had crossed his face when he did so had hurt.

So she opened her mouth to ask.

"Did I really look so bad you didn't want to come talk to me to Valentine's day? In the gardens in France?" She asked in a meek tone. As uncaring of materical looks as she was, knowing that someone she cared about and had thought cared about her had simply run off without even so much as a hello stung a bit. And she wanted to know.

Not that she cared.

But she did. Just a little.

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| 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉: @ | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: @Matthew Campbell |
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Date: ??

The glorious respite of a laugh robbed the uncomfortable silence from the place with such gentle grace. Siobhan's laugh was melodic and harmonious, like it meant to belong with her at all times. Matthew certainly wished ever since that horrible accident that he would heard it again, but for so long he wasn't sure if he was worthy too. Squeezing tight as their pinkies sealed the union of their pact he couldn't help but smile himself, glistening eyes still fought back tears but he finally had hope that their break hadn't been permanent.

When she confirmed the question he had dreamed of a million times he couldn't even bring himself to words just nodded desperately, fearful that any moment she would remember him as a monster and retract it. After all, he had taken something vital from her, he couldn't fault her if she chose to do the same. For a small second their smiles joined in perfect synchronicity and it felt like the pair were finally on the same page, but no sooner had the bliss settled was it stolen once more.

The hurt was etched into each line of her face before the words even reached her lips. Matthew had no idea what she was about to say or what malevolent train of thought had derailed their momentary joy but he was determined that no matter what, he would find a way to fix it. Standing their resolved he listened empathically to her hurt, to her pain. How could he not have realised? France was as turbulent for him as it was no doubt for Sio, but how could he not have recognised her desire to talk back then? Was he so conceited that his own troubles had overshadowed the one person who required his apology the most? Cleary he was and while he did not wish to burden Siobhan with excuses, he felt at the very least she needed to understand the full picture.

Timid and regretful he began to speak leaning back against the viaduct wall for support that he knew would not be enough, "Siobhan, I- I'm not sure if you've heard but a lot of crap went down right after your accident. I was in a bad place for a whole load of reasons, non more so than hurting you, and I got involved with something that wasn't really my fault." Feeling hot at the lack of apologising and the avoidance of guilt he nagged at his collar before continuing, "Essentially everyone was calling me guilty and I guess in a way I was but not for what they thought and then I saw you and I was reminded that I really was guilty of some things. I ended up staying up that whole night 'til sunrise, trying to work out if I was a good person or not."

Tears slowly beginning to drop down his cheeks he wiped them carelessly away and in nothing but a whisper added, "I'm still not so sure on that one." It was a confession of deepest hurt but it was still not the words he needed to say most. Breathing deeply to regain any sense of relief he looked back towards her, at the damage he'd done and the beautiful soul behind it. Siobhan had not changed to him, she was still the bright and colourful flower she had been the day they met, nothing could take that as it shone from within. So with nothing but admiration, he took in every part of her and said "Sio, there is nothing about you that has ever looked bad. I was avoiding you because I thought you might hate me, thought that my presence would only ever remind you of your pain. But I was, as usual, so very wrong and I will make a lifetime of apologies if that's what you wanted. I just want us to be us and for you to know that no matter how you change, for good or for bad, I'll be here."

And it was true, no matter how long it took, no matter what they went through. From this day forth, they were one and the same. A bond deeper than blood, a bond he would never forgo.

Interacting with @Siobhan McCarty

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Date: ??/??/25 | Time: Late Evening | CC:#A94064

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Hearing about what he had been going through, shot guilt through her conscious. Her pathetic blubbering hadn't taken into account that his life was not fully intertwined with hers. She had been so consumed with her own pity party, that she had failed once again to recognize that someone else was in pain and struggling.

What a horrible friend she was. Even more so because she wasn't focused on making Matthew feel better and was instead- about to cry once more. Though the sad sniff and the sound of Matthew's wavering voice, she felt the need to comfort him outweigh the need to cry. Her hands went to his, one hand moving up to his face and wiping away a tear that she could feel sticking to his cheek.

"You've gone through so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I heard things... I didn't- I didn't believe any of them. And I tried to tell the truth about what happened when it was brought up in class or in the Gryffindor dorms. I promise- I tried- I did." She spoke with a stutter towards the end. There had been some rumors going around that she'd never cared to listen to. Despite how she had been angry with him on the surface, her heart hurt for him, listening to the harsh words thrown around about him.

Matthew didn't deserve to have bad things happen to him. He was sweet, kindhearted, and cared for others too much to be subjected to awful rumors.

"I'm so sorry I asked you why you avoided me. I didn't take into account that our lives don't revolve around each other and... I didn't mean for it to come across like you had to talk to me. I just- I worried that-" She mumbled as her hand moved away from his face and back to his hands. She hoped he didn't care that her hand hadn't left his. But between the two of them, it was familiar.

They had become close in their first year, and followed through in their second year. The two of them had confided in each other of their insecurities. Siobhan with her fear of not being good enough for either world that she lived in, while he shared with her how alone he felt in his own world- somewhere he actually belonged.

Their shared disappointment in their own selves had led to a familiar bond, something akin to siblings almost as they tried to find peace in their shared range of negative emotion. It was hard, but they had been trying.

"Matthew- I think we're gonna be fine. We have a lot to work through, but I know that our friendship is stronger than what happened. I forgive you, and I know that you know that I'm serious. Cloíonn daoine craiceáilte le chéile." Siobhan said as she pulled him into a tight hug. The similar shared language that rolled off her tongue was meant to be a comforting feeling. It was what had pulled them into a friendship in the first place.

And she had meant that statement with all her heart- Crazy people stick together. They were both crazy in their own respective sights. Siobhan with her insecurities, and Matthew with his emotional stress. Somehow, their friendship had stood its ground long enough to draw them back to each other for good.

With this apology, this understanding of each other- she knew deep in her heart that they were on their way to reconciling for good. While this may have been a step in the right direction, true trust and forgiveness would follow with time. Follow-through was most important in the moment and she had an inkling that he shared her sentiments.

Listening to Matt's promise of good will, and solidarity- it had her smiling for real this time. Her hand squeezed his before slipping her arm in his as though nothing between them had even gone forward with this whole craziness. She leaned her head in towards his, now fully matching his height with a bit of a laugh.

"Come on- I'm tired of crying around you. Do you want to try something a little more... smoky than firewhiskey?" Siobhan asked as she pulled them along the Viaduct and back towards the Castle, one arm looped in his, the other holding onto the Viaduct railing itself. Behind the two of them, the sun had broken through the clouds and was beginning to set. The sky and the scenic gods were shining down on them, blessing their friendshop with prosperity and trust.
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| 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉: @ | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: @Matthew Campbell |
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