FIN Shopping, Sobbing, and Sketches pv: S.Kohana & K.Paine

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"P-pretty?" That made him frown even deeper, from more confusion than anything. Part of him almost thanked the other for catching him so off guard that for a split second he forgot about Yami. 'Unnatural' he could understand. Pretty? Sara tried to find deceit or mockery in the others face but all he could see was a carefree grin. As if he was confident with what he said and he'd stick to it.

Ah.. so he was an artist. That.. made sense..in a way. Perhaps he had a different way of seeing the world that others didn't. Thats was what made Sara want to stay. Despite the usual dose of anxiety that made him sit so stiffly. Was he seeing something that Sara couldn't?

Sara didn't say much as the other took out a notebook and already started sketching. Though he didn't know where to look, his gaze shifted from the notebook, to his hands, to the table. At the other's next question, he was tempted to accept the offer and staying just silent. But then how else could he repay the stranger? Even if the other said sketching was enough, Sara felt awful for not doing more. Besides, if he didn't distract himself now - he may be thinking about..other things.

" Um.. a .. a boy..." He debated about it for a few moments, his cheeks flushed slightly in shame." Its.. its silly see.. I ... I feel bad talking about him to someone... its like.. im talking behind his back.. even if .. I don't.. think he really cares.."

@Kit Paine

At the young man's stammered repetition of the word, as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard, Kit laughed. "I can't imagine you're any stranger to hearing that. But you don't seem pleased or even that you like it, either. Interesting..." He rubbed his chin in thought as he regarded Sara, though he tried not to stare at him for too long at any point in time since he got the impression being stared at made the tall fellow especially uncomfortable.

As he began to sketch, allowing the Japanese boy to let the silence hang between them if he so chose or to fill it with his own speech instead, Kit was pleasantly surprised to hear that he chose to do the latter. Listening attentively and patiently, he sketched out the contours of the speaker's face and then began to shade in the planes as he answered, "No, that isn't silly." After another beat, he asked, "Why do you feel bad?"

He had his suspicions as to why the teen might have felt bad for talking behind someone's back even if he didn't think he cared, of course. But even so, he wanted to hear the student's own reasoning in his own words. Sometimes it wasn't what he thought it was.

@Sara Kohana

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" uh.. n-no I don't.. think so..." Not ones he think was genuine at least. People were just being nice to him. At worst, pitying him. Maybe this artist had a whole different way of seeing the world. Sara could recall a couple of others whom didn't have an issue with staring him straight in his eyes. That didn't allow him to forget the many others who couldn't. "..pretty is... new..", he decided to say, unsure. Tensing as he realised his words may look like he was fishing for compliments or assurance. " um.. n-no I.. I appreciate it, thank you.." he said in response to the other saying he wasn't pleased. Which wasn't... entirely false. " I'm just.. not used to it.. and .. and maybe.. p-part of me finds it hard to believe.." he decided to admit in the end, feeling awkward with how he's communicating this. How could he express confusion without making it sound like he wanted the other to prove him wrong?

He unconsciously bit the inside of his cheek, fiddling awkwardly with his thumbs. How would he even begin to share what he thought of Yami? And should he even? " ... well.. because... theres really just.. not positive things to say.. about them.. right now.."

@Kit Paine

The painter failed to hold back another laugh. This kid really was too funny! "Maybe people are too intimidated by your good looks to be able to find the courage to compliment you on them, then," he answered, amused. There was a stroke of sorrow in his smile when he heard that part of the teen might have found it hard to believe. The young man clearly had some sort of inferiority complex or something going on, but that sounded like something beyond what Kit could have helpd undo within whatever short amount of time they had together just then. Besides, they had a different issue at hand to tackle; one that was more pressing, it seemed.

He scratched his head perplexedly. "I don't think I ever really understood why people consider it a bad thing to talk about other people without them knowing - at least if that's what you mean by 'behind his back'," Kit explained gently and calmly. "Even if you did, though, and even if they were bad things, I don't see why you should feel bad about it when noticing things about someone - both good and bad - is a sign you're observing them because you have an interest in them."

@Sara Kohana

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Sara blushed at the other that seemed to find amusement in his words. Did he say something funny? For sure he thought his words were too negative for anyone to enjoy. " I.. I'm not sure about that.. but .. people often.. do find me intimidating I think.." he said, feeling like he wanted to shrink into his seat. But he was trying his best to sit enough still. That would make the others job a little harder wouldn't it? " but you.. dont seem to .. be bothered..by it.." he pointed out gently, not really meeting the others eyes. Failing to notice the slight sorrow to his grin.

At the other scratching his head, Sara regretted for a moment about saying anything. Thinking his words troubled the other. But he was surprised to find the other had something to say. Not just anything. It was beyond what Sara expected anyone to say. Enough so that he was stunned for a moment.

For the past few months Sara's thoughts had been a game of hourly spin-the-wheel.

Raging from thoughts like
- I shouldve seen the signs first
- this is wrong to believe just one aspect of someone
- i know nothing I shouldnt have said anything

He seemed troubled, struggling to find his words before deciding to ask the question he's been so afraid to ask anyone. " H-have you.. uh.. been in.. hm... l-love.. before? "

@Kit Paine

When his drawing subject blushed, Kit wondered if he might have been laughing a bit too much and gave himself a mental note to cool it. His smile mellowed as he replied, "Yeah...I can see how they might," referring to finding the guy intimidating. "But like I said...I can't just ignore someone with an expression like you were wearing. No matter how intimidating they may seem."

The painter continued to sketch for a little while before taking out his painting supplies and a small, blank canvas he had kept in his bag. Thanks to magic, he could just bring one bottle of paint and change it to whatever color he liked as he painted so he didn't have to carry around several different paints for different colors. Furthermore, since he knew wandless and non-verbal magic, he didn't have to use his wand nor his words to change his colors mid-painting. That also meant he didn't have to interrupt the teenager if he was talking or the silence between them if her preferred more silence.

What that kid said next, however, almost caused Kit to drop his paintbrush and he forgot his mental note to himself not to laugh. He blinked, then chuckled softly to himself. The question had caught him completely by surprise as he looked up once again to try to peer into the young man's face.

"Oh, is that what this is about?" he asked with a sly smirk. "I suppose that would make sense...if you can list a person's flaws and yet not be able to help caring about them anyway." That had been how Kit realized he had been in true love with someone before, at least.

@Sara Kohana

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Sara found himself having an easier time to breathe at the others words. At least he didn't lie and try to assure Sara that it was all in his head. And that he didn't look the way he does. That always stung a little more than when someone straight up was scared of him. " .. what.. did I look like.. if you weren't.. focused on how..I look? What expression did you see? ". He asked gently, though curious. Despite the confused frown etched on his face. It was supposedly an easy answer, yet Sara felt the word 'expression' meant a lot more than just that.

"Oh, is that what this is about?" The others sly smirk- even if he didn't laugh as much as he did before - made Sara's ears reddened. In quick fear that his face was just as red, he hide his face with his hands against his better judgement. " I- I'm not in love I just- like them.. well..liked.. them.. ." Saras voice muffled through his hands, defending himself. Feeling so stupid that his defense wasn't even that good. Love wasn't a word he would've so easily used. Ever. And yet.. .Before Sara could finish that thought, he silenced it. Feeling a familiar ache crawling up his chest.

@Kit Paine

Sitting there with his paintbrush loosely held in his hand, Kit considered how to respond for a moment before replying.

"You looked pained. Like your heart was about to break...or it already had. And you were re-living the heartache."

He hadn't really seen his own face make that expression, but he thought he knew well enough what it felt like. And the look on that teen's face had said it all. It had looked exactly like Kit had felt before and his own heart had echoed the ache from long ago just to know someone was feeling in full force what it pained him even just to remember vaguely.

His smirk disappeared, a sad smile replacing it as he realized he must have done something wrong again when the young man turned even redder than before and put his face in his hands. As he watched him hide his face, Kit put aside his paintbrush - he was nearly finished, anyway - and asked carefully, "Are you sure you're over them yet? This love or like or whatever it is - are you sure you don't feel it anymore, using past tense like you just did?"

Kit knew all too well, after all, what it was like to want to be over someone but to not be quite yet.

@Sara Kohana

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The blush he had, that started out as a reaction to embarrassment was now forming into something he was far more familiar with. Shame. He hadn't said anything to the man's first line of sentences. Afraid unnecessary tears may come out instead of words if he answered. Heart about to break? Reliving a heartache? It felt like a different sort of attack when someone pointed it out despite how hard Sara had tried to not feel like. It was like tipping a glass full of water over. Threatening to spill what Sara had - or at least he thought - kept contained.

His shoulders tensed, almost like he wanted to shrink and disappear into his seat. " I .. should.." he answered accidentally, in a weak strained mumble. Hardly audible for anyone else but the two of them. "he .. hates me.." he recalled. All those words he heard come out of Yami's own mouth. Using the same voice that had uplifted him on so many other occasions. "he lied..to me.."

Should. He really should stop. Sara was the one that made the decision to turn his back against Yami. Even after all they've been through, Sara wasn't enough in the end. He should stop talking. Stop thinking so much about Yami. Thats.. the right thing to do.

@Kit Paine

Though the change in his posture and demeanor was slight to someone just superficially watching the teenager, to Kit, the change in his body language spoke volumes. It seemed he had hit the nail on the head about what the guy's expression had said in regards to what he felt like...but was that necessarily a good thing?

It seemed like hitting that nail had caused a crack to form in a dam that had been on the borderline of breaking down as it was. And that it was only through sheer willpower that it had managed to hold up as long as it had. At least until just then. How long must he have been holding back all his thoughts and feelings? Had he no safe way or person to talk to in order to let them out?

"Hey, now...just a minute," Kit said as gently as soothingly as he could manage. "Why do you think he hates you?"

Washing off his paintbrush, since he had gotten most of his painting done and couldn't really finish the last touches while his subject had his head in his hands, the painter moved his paint water cup aside and set his canvas down next to his paintbrush on the bench beside him - the space beside him opposite of where his conversation partner sat.

@Sara Kohana