Holding Back
interaction: @Hana Suzuki wc: 641 dialogue thoughts
date: 20th September 2025Everything seemed normal—like it was finally going well. Her grades were mostly O's, and for the first time in a long while, she felt more comfortable around people. That alone should’ve been more than enough. But clearly, not enough for them.
She had gotten an A in Herbology.
And Victoria hadn’t told anyone. Had one of the professors mentioned it? Had another student overheard and written home? Or had her parents once again used their ever-reaching connections to monitor her grades directly? However they had found out, they hadn’t wasted any time.
“Shameful.”
“You would do well to remember you are part of this family.”
“It’s not your place to define your own limits—we do that.”
These words came from three separate letters—all delivered on the same day. Each one harsher than the last, each filled with accusations and biting disappointment. Words crafted by her perfectionist, cold, and controlling family—words that felt like nails being driven into her chest.
The sky had long turned dark. The corridor lights flickered gently, the school had sunk into a heavy hush. Curfew was approaching—but for the first time, Victoria didn’t care. What time it was, where she was supposed to be, whether someone might catch her wandering... none of it mattered.
She was in the lavatory. Her hands were gripping the edge of the cold stone sink so tightly her knuckles had turned white. Her elbows trembled slightly, though she tried to steady them. Her pupils seemed to waver with quiet unrest, and her breathing came in uneven waves.
Her bag lay discarded near the doorway—more thrown than dropped. Unlike her usual tidy habits, books had spilled from it and scattered slightly, but Victoria hadn’t spared them a glance.
The letters lay inside the sink, partially soaked in water, ink beginning to bleed into pale smudges. She had thought about destroying them. She wanted to. She had crumpled one, read and reread the others. But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to rip them apart or set them aflame. Every time she tried, her throat tightened as if the very letters were reaching out and choking her.
“Why is getting an A such a disgrace? Why i am never enough?”
She asked herself these questions, though deep down, she already knew the answer. For them, it was never about learning or joy or passion. It was about achievement. Their kind of achievement. The subjects they deemed worthy. The path they had planned for her. The standards they decided she must uphold.
Victoria clenched her teeth in frustration. A rare expression of anger formed on her usually smooth, pale face. Her brows furrowed sharply, and her wavy brown hair fell forward, partially veiling her face. Her eyes brimmed not just with fury—but disappointment. And more than anything else: hurt. So much hurt. She was not supposed to be weak, damn it.
“...I hate this.” Victoria whispered, voice rough and low. She didn’t move away from the sink. Her gaze stayed fixed on the letters, on the way the ink was bleeding, as if the words themselves were trying to escape the paper.
She drew a shaky breath, but her chest still felt tight. Her hands trembled faintly at her sides.
After a few moments, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She wanted to calm down. She wanted to build those walls back up again, to wear that blank expression like armor.
But this time—it wasn’t working.
This time, something had gotten through.
Leaning back against the sink, she tilted her head and stared up at the ceiling. Silence filled the room, but inside Victoria, a storm still raged on. She held back her tears; she didn’t want anyone to see her crying if they walked into the lavatory.
Holding Back
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Interacting with @Victoria Blythe
Dialogue
Thoughts
It's lunchtime and Hana was eating lunch. Well, everything is normal until she knocked her pumpkin juice on the long table while talking to her friends with her dramatic hand movements, she was not shocked, she knew it's going to happen, sooner or later, spilling her juice on her school robes. I should've finish drinking that goblet before talking. But whatever, I just need to make sure I clean it in the lavatory before it turns sticky or get stained
So, Hana walked in the Girl's Lavatory and there, she saw a shadow figure. Don't tell me it's another ghost or something like that With that in mind, she walked slowly towards the figure, making sure she won't interrupt whatever that figure is doing. And that's when she realised it's not a ghost at all, it's a person, someone who looks oddly familiar.
"Victoria? What are you doing here?"Hana said, roaming her eyes on Victoria's face - pale, brows furrowed, looked like she's going to burst out into tears. " Well, if you want to cry, then cry here. Holding it back will only cause prblems - mental and physical. You can pretend I'm not here if you want, but I really need to clean the pumpkin juice on my robe, it's going to smell if I don't. So, just excuse me."
Holding Back
interaction: @Hana Suzuki wc: 406 dialogue thoughts
date: 20th September 2025The sound of approaching footsteps rippled through the stillness like a drop falling into water.Victoria’s head lifted, almost against her will. Her throat tightened. Someone could see her like this—
Her hands, faintly trembling, opened the tap and flung the cold water onto her face. The cold struck her skin in sharp bursts, seeping into the tension carved along her jaw, her cheeks. She let the water drip, rivulets trailing down her neck, hoping the chill would erase the redness from her eyes, blur the evidence.
She inhaled through her nose, slow and deliberate, tasting the metallic tang of the tap water. The sound of those footsteps drew closer. She straightened, smoothed her hair back, tried to stitch her composure together in the space of a heartbeat.
Then she turned.
Blue eyes widened—not dramatically, but just enough for the world to sharpen. Standing in the doorway, framed by the dull light spilling in from the corridor, was Hana. Long black hair fell over her shoulders, dark as an ink spill, her gaze as sharp and steady as Victoria remembered.
For a moment, neither moved. The silence between them swelled, the air thick with an unspoken recognition.
Of all people, her? Someone she knew. Someone who could put a name to this face.
A quiet, almost irrational dread unfurled in Victoria’s chest. She wanted the floor to open, to slip away unseen.Her tongue felt heavy, but she forced out the words, each one thin and fragile “...S-sure. Go ahead and clean.”
The sound barely carried, a hush in the stillness.
Hana didn’t blink. Didn’t soften. Yet she didn’t harden either. Her voice, when it came, was as calm and unhurried as ever, as if catching Victoria like this was no different than meeting her in the hall. That strange, collected tone made Victoria’s skin prickle—not in embarrassment exactly, but in the unnerving way someone can stand too close to the truth without even touching it.
Victoria’s pulse thundered in her ears. She clasped her hands behind her back, fingers lacing together tightly to keep them from shaking. “I... wasn’t crying.”
The words floated out, unconvincing even to her own ears. A faint warmth still burned around her eyes, and the dampness at her lashes was a small, damning betrayal.
She studied Hana’s face for any flicker—sympathy, judgment, amusement—but found only that same unbroken stillness.
It was impossible to tell whether Hana hadn’t noticed, or had noticed everything.
Holding Back
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Interacting with @Victoria Blythe
Dialogue
Thoughts
Hana stepped forward towards the sink and dabbed her handkerchief with the water. She glanced up at the mirror, looking at Victoria. Victoria's eyes, the blue doe eyes, now turned slightly red, as if she was trying to forcefully hold her tears back. Hana knew it, knew she was too scared to cry in front of her, so she maintained a steady face, cleaning the pumpkin juice stain calmly, trying not to give Victoria more pressure than what she has already.
Just as Hana turned her attention to her sticky robe, Victoria denied about the whole crying thing. Hana, without shifting her gaze, and changing her expression, though the intrigue in her eyes betrayed her, she replied, "Oh, really? Well, if that's what you think, then sure. But if you want to carry less of this burden on your shoulder, you know where to find me, do you?"
Hana knew better than to force her to tell herself what happened or just encourage her not to cry out loud. It's useless, she knew. She knew Victoria was going through something. Something, no matter it's grades, family matters or what, she knew it's something that matters to Victoria and a simple encouragement will not help. All Hana can do is give her some space, and see if she'll tell her what happened.