Bad Advice

Eat your stomach.

We have a lot of leftovers from thanksgiving; now all we're allowed to eat is turkey! What should I do?

As soon as you enter the room where you practice, do a Tkachev Salto (the hardest gymnastics stunt)!


I'm trying to be braver and not be such a coward. What can I do?

Cook it for dinner.

A professor is cross with me, what should I do?

Be sarcastic with them back! Make sure they know you don't like them. That will always be the way to go

If a friend is ghosting me what should I do?

Contact everyone who knows said ghosting friend and ask them to send your messages along. Evoke a never ending wave of "You there?"s.

My neighbor won't stop inviting me to church functions, even though I've politely explained I don't do church! How can I make him stop?

Tell him your gay and cannot make it because of your boyfriend/girlfriend forbids it plus he's an a-hole and to leave you tf alone

My mother will not stop yelling at me for the littlest things what do I do to make her shut tf up

Text your parents and say, I'm pregnant, but after that say I'm joking I just did bad on my exam! Or do bad on the next on and say it was written in the stars

If a boy likes me and I don't like him back what should I do?

You should punch him in the face and scream really loud, "WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?!"

My dog ate my homework, what should I do?

"If your leg hurts the only reasonable thing is to cut your leg off next to a homeless person let the eat the meat off your leg and find a way to stop the bleeding. Before you DIE!"

"I have a problem with being lonely. How do I make friends in Hogwarts."

"Cover your mouth and nose with duck tape. If you cant breathe you cant talk. And if your mouth is taped you cant move it. That way you can't say anything bad again."

"I have trouble with the boys in the Heingst home in the Hufflepuff, boys dormitoryWhat should I do about my nosy dormmates?"