The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41

IC publish date: Late May

.MAY ISSUE No. 41
THE OFFICIAL HOGWARTS NEWSPAPER
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North | Overcast
Hogsmeade | Sunny
South | Sunny
Central | Sunny
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THE FULL MOON | May 12 / Jun 11
HOGWARTS HEADLINER
your source for all things magical and mysterious within hogwarts
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May Day:
the Dawning
of Summer
By Archer Duncan
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As the months change and the calendar rolls around to the 1st of May, we welcome a holiday closely knit to nature and the wonders of living. Marking the beginning of summer, May Day is a festival honouring fertility and new life for the incoming season. Commonly seen throughout Europe and even beyond in North America, it is widely celebrated in the Western World.
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First a pagan festival, the holiday has a long history stemming from ancient civilisations. Earliest remnants of May Day traces its roots back to the Roman Republic, where it was depicted as social events frolicking with woodland spirits, honouring deities from their mythology. Evolving in the Middle Ages into Walpurgis Night for Germanic cultures and Beltaine for Celtic ones, it was soon adapted
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into festivals centred around fire, symbolic to protection of livestock and crops. In the Victorian era, it became repurposed to devote the holiday to the Christian Virgin Mary. It is no longer a religious holiday for everyone who celebrates, but many of its traditions have still withstood the test of time.

Today, Britain most notably
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celebrates May Day with a May Fair, which might feature dancing, music, other entertainment, and food. It is centred around the crowning of a May Queen, a girl in a traditional white gown, a symbol of purity, and a tiara, who would lead the parade before giving a speech that sets off the other celebrations. Alfred Tennyson, famous Victorian poet, has written a poem specifically on this special “queen”.
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There is no tradition that represents the holiday as much as the iconic Maypole dance. A folk dance performed around a wooden pole garlanded with flowers and greenery, the participants spin around it while holding onto colourful ribbons. Often, the dancers are children or adolescents dressed in white. As they make their way around the pole, the ribbons are meant to weave together showing unity, each colour holding a special meaning, such as love, fertility, and prosperity.
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Some of these age-old traditions, however, may not be the most convenient for our student body. A large pole, after all, could not just be erected in your dormitory at the snap of your fingers. Therefore, I have compiled some ideas I deem both faithful to the holiday’s meaning and accessible.
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1. Craft a Floral Wreath — one of Hogwarts’ obvious advantages is its closeness to nature. Herbology greenhouses are in your backyard, not to mention the mountains and forests bordering our campus. Flowers, grass, and leaves for your crown are at your fingertips. Weave them together in the comfort of your dorm room or nestled against a tree trunk by the lake; wear your creation with pride and add a sprinkle of wildlife to your daily attire.
2. Bring in the May — customise your living quarters with a touch of Mother Earth by following this tradition of collecting sprigs, flowers, branches, leaves, and any other natural decorations and arranging them into a jar. While our curfew rules disagree, the original practice calls for them to be brought back at sunrise. Not only have our calendars brought us the new month, you could also bring the very incarnation of it into your home.

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3. Go Outdoors Barefoot — historically, May Day is when children ditch their shoes for the first time in the year, weather finally warm enough to at least scamper around without the usual winter boots Scotland requires. Try to experience this for yourself—not just in your dormitory of course, but feel the grass without footwear beneath you, feel the dew and the dirt, and perhaps, if you are feeling daring, even wade into water. For once, this is a wonderful opportunity to learn from our very own barefoot editor, Colin McCoire!
4. Make a May Day Basket — dating back to pagan rituals in 12th century Germany, this ritual has been mentioned less since the 20th century, yet is still a meaningful one nevertheless. While you may use an already-made basket, you can also roll a piece of sturdy parchment into a cone for more authenticity. Then, ribbons or strings can be used to make a handle by weaving them together — just make sure they’re strong enough. Then, fill them with fresh flowers and hang them onto the doorknob of your recipient. To heed with the nature of our mostly shared dormitories, I would suggest writing a note and, while you’re at it, maybe even try your hand at some nature-inspired poetry!

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There are many more ways you can celebrate this holiday steeped in history and tradition, but no matter which one you choose, the 1st of May is a perfect time to step out into nature, enjoy a season of change as we head into summer, and appreciate the world around us.




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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 02.
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Spring: A Time For Change
By Matthew Campbell

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Yet what will come from that new life can never be known, only experienced.
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When winter first blends into spring, we watch as the cold and lifeless begin a new cycle, a seasonal rebirth. Yet what will come from that new life can never be known, only experienced. Even the greatest Seers of our generation can’t know every facet of what faces us in the future; there will always be variables that cannot be foreseen and choices that will define the very fabric of fate itself. When I left behind the cold shackles of winter this year, I intended to look upon spring with fresh eyes and an open heart, but what came was unimaginable.
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This season has taught me many things, dear readers, and while not all of them have been blessed with a positive glow, learning is always a most important step in our lives. Without learning, one cannot understand the errors we have made and correct them; I myself have made my fair share of mistakes and for that I am apologetic, but, as long as we continue to grow, we are not defined by these moments. No, instead, we can harness them in order to better reflect a version of ourselves we wish to be, refined by the lessons we’ve learned.
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Learning is always a most important step in our lives.
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Spring is a time for rebirth, for change, and for a new perspective. So, as we now leave spring behind, I would ask you all to think of the lessons that we have learned from it. With each season comes a new cycle—a new chance to be a better version of yourself. Change is not a singular choice, but a non-linear progression throughout your life; there will be times where you falter and repeat a lesson you once thought mastered and times you skip ahead, reinforced by your new-found wisdom.
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“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.”Pablo Neruda
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With summer just around the corner, I implore you all to make the most of every minute of it. Let the warm summer air bask you in radiant light and wash away any remnants of the cold that spring couldn’t reach. Take every second and cherish it. Make memories with those you love, and leave behind all that no longer serves you. The cycle of the seasons teaches us that all life is important and that, even when the winter feels long, and the crops and leaves grow dead, every time, the green will reemerge and life will filter in once more. We are all just cogs in the grand machine of nature, and, in time, all things will pass; we are all equally capable of change and equally deserving of forgiveness. So if you, like myself, dear reader, have been struggling to let go of the things that haunt you, let spring be your reminder that all things come full circle and, while at times they may seem bleak and frosty, the sun is just around the corner waiting to shine upon you.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 03.
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Global Love Day
By Simon Kincaid
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Did you know there is a day dedicated to worldwide love? Every year on the first of May, Global Love Day aims to unite humanity with the power of love. It is a vision to unify us all in a celebration of love and compassion—a call to all people to gather together in the wisdom of peace and love, and to foster unity within their communities.

It is a grand concept, but it is initiated quite simply: “Love begins with me.”

Real love starts within ourselves.
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To love ourselves, we need to see ourselves kindly, treat ourselves considerately, do the things that resonate in our hearts, and feed our souls. This can mean nourishing ourselves with good food, making healthy choices, or even maintaining good friendships. Afterwards, we can expand our knowledge and learn about how diversity makes the world a better place. In other words, before we can truly spread love outward, we need to feel it and live it inside. Then, we can expand that love to others, and the choices that we make in our daily lives.
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Allow yourself to begin to grow into the best version of the person you are.
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Much of our time here at Hogwarts is occupied by classes, coursework, studying, or writing essays. However, we must find the time to let the love within our hearts be the focus throughout our days. Some suggestions to find this deeper connection yourself would be to take a walk, to contemplate what you are currently grateful for in your life, and to let go of your fears and doubts. You can make some art, write a poem, or learn something new. Allow yourself to begin to grow into the best version of the person you are.

Then,lltakellthatllbestllversionllof
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yourself and share it with the world. Make friends, make amends, help others, and show kindness.

Perhaps you would like to celebrate this Global Love Day by performing random acts of kindness throughout the day or by offering to help someone in need. Maybe you’ll do your best to express gratitude for those who bring love and joy into your world,
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or you could spread messages of love or encouragement to brighten someone’s day.

Whatever it is, take some time for love—let’s spread kindness and compassion to every corner of the world. Together, we can make a difference! It’s a simple yet powerful idea. Global Love Day is about creating a culture of love that transcends time, and invites us to be ambassadors of peace, starting from within and radiating outward. In a world that could always use more love, we carry within us the greatest gift we can offer—our hearts.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 04.
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International Relations


By Matthew Campbell

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The wider wizarding world is a place of fascination beginning to open up to us all with the introduction of international events, like the Beauxbâtons trip in February. I decided that we’d better accustom ourselves with those rallying for these changes. I had the unique experience of speaking with Director of Studies Aulis Vorozheykin and Headmistress Célestine de la Croix-Valmer, getting to know our international neighbours and experiencing Hogwarts life through their eyes. Both headmasters found themselves promoted from teaching roles to leadership following the tragic events in Hogsmeade last fall. While Headmistress de la Croix-Valmer took the position out of reverence and duty, Koldovstoretz’s Director of Studies, as he so aptly corrected me when referred to as headmaster, definitively claims he’d foreseen his position in a vision.

While some would describe the archaic heritage of our prestigious school as nothing short of an artistic
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Headmistress
Célestine de la Croix-Valmer
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Director of Studies
Aulis Vorozheykin
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masterpiece, it seems that our esteemed guests were not quite as impressed. Vorozheykin described the hallowed halls with little pleasure: “For my first time at the castle, I must admit it is a bit older than I would have expected. Is there no upkeep done? Who cleans the stones that they have such dirt upon them always?” A sure insult to our caretaker! The French headmistress was more reminiscent, wishing to have seen the place in its prime before the war.

Then, my next question: What one thing from Hogwarts do you wish you could take back with you?

A vain creature, the director couldn’t summon a compliment for Hogwarts itself: “May I select the fashions shop from the village? I would so love to have a house of couture readily available to me at school. If I must choose something from the castle, I suppose I will select the ceiling of enchantment. My pupils have expressed their love for it to me.”

More diplomatically, Headmistress de la Croix-Valmer appreciated our diversity, something only recently popular worldwide: “I love how easy it seems to be a special race or have a special talent here. It seems to be more welcome in the school, something I didn't have.”
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In contrast, they had only praise for their schools, allowing an insight into establishments that have long been mysterious. When asked for his favourite aspects, Vorozheykin couldn’t have beamed more proudly in his descriptions: “I particularly enjoy that our students are able to choose the specialty that calls to them. We also honour our dead in a very special way, with ever-growing trees on campus that will never be turned into the trunks that we use to fly.”

De la Croix-Valmer was as enchanted as all of us by the elegance of Beauxbâtons we witnessed in February. She added, “I really love the gardens. And if we are talking about lessons, I adore that the school offers arts as part of its curriculum.”

Teasing about the school's future, Vorozheykin noted, “Upon returning to our Koldovstoretz, one of the goals I have for my pupils is to challenge them to
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Two very different features showing the Beauxbâtons gardens (left) and the Koldovstoretz underground (right).

clean out the caverns that rest beneath the lake of our glorious conservatory. The many dangers—nay, I did not say dangers, I said wonders and treasures that lay underneath are simply waiting to be discovered by the brave students I have taught.”
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Concluding the interviews, I wished to pay homage to the fallen we lost in the cruel, senseless violence six months ago. With the knowledge that Vorozheykin and de la Croix-Valmer were so intimately affected by the tragedy, I wanted to conclude by asking them if they had any words for those that came before in a reverent moment that I believe portrayed the true character of this incredible pair. “Lady Pavlova was a wonderful mentor to me and I have none of the doubts that she would be quite proud of the direction that our Koldovstoretz will take under my leadership. I should love to tell her that she has naught to worry about, but I know that if she were a ghost she would not be worried. But we do not have ghosts at Koldovstoretz, because she does not have unfinished business and therefore did not need to stick around to keep the eye upon us.”

A most beautiful personal sentiment reinforced further by the French headmistress reminding us that they will be forever immortalised in our hearts: “I can't believe it's been 6 months since the tragedy that took away the previous headmaster and 13 students. If I could go back in time, perhaps I would insist on choosing a different date, transportation, place of landing. Or for them to not stay while we went to the shops. But the past can't be changed, so the only thing I can say is that I hope they didn't suffer too much.”
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They were loved, and they are still remembered.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 05.
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Meet the Professors #3:
Desislava Nenovsky

by Archer Duncan



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Seeing how Hogwarts is welcoming a new batch of professors in a variety of subjects, I have decided to meet with our new Divination professor, Desislava Nenovsky, and ask her a few questions on both this mysterious subject and herself.

Professor Nenovsky hails from Bulgaria and has received her education in Koldovstoretz and the Isle of Divination itself, Tenūsa. Despite her young age, she was born a Seer, granting her a natural affinity and supporting her interest in the subject. Having just begun her career at Hogwarts, I was lucky to catch her between the hassles of settling in and customising her classroom, and below is my transcription of what she had to say.
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What brings you to Hogwarts as a professor?
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I have come to Hogwarts to impart my knowledge of the art of Divination on the upcoming generations of witches and wizards. Divination is a very diverse subject and to teach as many variations as we can means it continues to remain a part of Wizarding History.
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How does Hogwarts differ from the places you’ve lived before?
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I currently live on the island of Mo'orea in the summertime when school is out. It is an island in French Polynesia. Hogwarts reminds me of my home in Bulgaria with the winters and it is very familiar and comfortable to me. It is a gorgeous castle, and full of history.
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What sparked your interest in divination?
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I am a Seer, it is quite literally what my purpose is. Though had I not emerged as a Seer, I would have picked up an interest in it anyway. It is vast and fearless—it is wondrous and just as deep as my beloved oceans.
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What is your favourite method of divination?
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I specialise in Hydromancy and Scrying which are two methods I use while on the water. While I am in the classroom, I find that scrying is the best method for me to retain my connection to the water.
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Divination is sometimes displayed as frivolous and not taken seriously;
what are your thoughts on this negative stereotype?
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You cannot force people to accept what they cannot understand. The third eye and inner Sight do exist but seldom are able to successfully accomplish the ability to See. I am hopeful that my tenure here will bring about a wondrous new crop of those who believe and rely on the Sight for guidance.
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What is something those taking or thinking to take your course should know?
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I do not mean to discourage—but work must be put into this course to understand what it is the Sight is telling you. I will not accept those who will sit and moan about not being able to See. If you are clouding your own mind there is not much I can help you accomplish. I am hopeful that I will be able to train any newly pronounced Seer in some of the other ways of divination.

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We can never achieve if we always block our own path.
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This concludes our introduction to one of Hogwarts’ newest professors and her thoughts on the subject. For those already devote their hours to the course or are planning to find themselves hunched over a crystal ball next year, keep in mind Professor Nenovsky’s valuable advice. I think it is an admirable outlook that can be applied to not just our classwork, but life as well. We can never achieve if we always block our own path.

Stay tuned for the next issue, in which we will be meeting a brand new professor. Take care readers, and make sure to give our newcomers a warm welcome!
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 06.
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The Main Similarities and Differences
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According to the Oxford’s Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, a band is “a small group of musicians who play popular music together, often with a singer or singers.” Bands have been around since the 15th century, starting off in Germany. Nowadays, we see bands everywhere.

Many witches or wizards who want to become professional musicians leave the wizarding world to do so, because of a lack of success or struggles with controversy. Nevertheless, there are quite a few interesting wizarding bands.
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The most popular of these is probably the Weird Sisters, which was formed between 1986 and 1987 by Myron Wagtail, Kirley Duke, and Orsino Thruston. Despite the band name, all founders and members are male. The Weird Sisters is definitely one of my most loved bands in the wizarding world.

My favourite wizarding band, though, would be the all-witch band Spellbound. I have been listening to Spellbound’s music since I was young, and I have always loved them. While they are known for many tragic scandals, their music is simply my favourite.
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In contrast to the wizarding world, there are many Muggle bands.
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Even though a lot of them don’t skyrocket into fame, many groups have gotten larger thanks to Muggle social media. I believe this is an amazing thing, because music is of immense importance to everyone.

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Bands like Queen, The Police, and Nirvana were extremely popular in the 80s and 90s. Bands were especially popular during those eras, though there still exists a large number of bands today.

Some of the most popular Muggle bands of the modern day are Coldplay, One Direction, and BTS. While Coldplay and BTS are still performing together, One Direction has been broken up for a while now, its members continuing with solo careers. Coldplay, however, seems to have numbered days left together as a band.

If I am quite honest, these most popular groups do not even come close to my favourite Muggle bands. These are The Smiths, Nirvana, and Led Zeppelin. I have not had much experience with these bands, as I have never really listened to a lot of Muggle music during my life, but, after researching and listening to a large quantity of Muggle bands, I believe these three are my favourites.
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Muggle and wizarding bands have quite a few differences,
such as the quantity of bands and the variety of topics.
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They come from entirely different worlds, making their subjects vastly distinct. The musicians also often use different instruments. Muggle bands frequently use more modern ones, such as the electric guitar or the keyboard. Wizarding bands do use modern instruments, but also tend to use older ones like the bagpipes, the cello, the lute, and, of course, enchanted instruments. Stage effects typically used in wizarding bands’ concerts are also much more magical than for Muggles, featuring many spells and charms.

However, the two also have a lot in common. Their instruments are often similar, because both use modern instruments and the same band setups. Genres exist in both worlds, meaning both Muggle and wizarding bands have different styles of music and songwriting. Both have fans and fandoms, and both create music for entertainment.
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Both types of bands are magical in their own ways.
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I am not trying to criticise Muggle or wizarding bands, because the two should be appreciated for their unique traits. As someone who discovered Muggle bands just recently, I would like to praise them for their variety, their quantity and their originality. I would also like to commend wizarding bands, as they have been and will continue to be with me for my entire life. Both types of bands are magical in their own ways.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 07.
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Wit Beyond Measure: A Reimagining of the Houses at Hogwarts
By Simon Kincaid


Oh, the Hogwarts houses: the brave, the cunning, the loyal, and the wise. Within Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, our houses become our home, and our housemates, family. But what else does this sorting system give us? Lots of room for jest and laughter!

To celebrate World Laughter Day on May fourth, I’d like to present you with some merriment surrounding beloved stereotypes of Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. Let us reimagine our Hogwarts houses as something new!

If Hogwarts houses were breakfast foods, Gryffindor would be scrambled eggs with hot sauce: bold and ready to start the day with a burst of flavor. Slytherin would be steak and eggs: strong, filling, and indulgent; and Hufflepuff would be pancakes with maple syrup: comforting and sure to make you feel right at home. Ravenclaw would be avocado toast, nutritious and creative.
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What if the houses of Hogwarts were pets? Gryffindor would be a German Shepherd: loyal, bold, and protective. They’re always down for an adventure or ready to chase a squirrel. Slytherin would be a cat: cunning, independent, and elegant. They’ll ignore you… until they decide not to. Hufflepuff would be a Golden Retriever: gentle, loving, and happiest when snuggling on the couch or making friends with every wizard who walks by. Ravenclaw would be an owl, wise and curious—perhaps judging your life choices from the top of a tree branch or a bookshelf.
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What about vegetables? Gryffindor would be a chili pepper: bold, fiery, not afraid to stand out, and ready to bring the heat. Slytherin would be an artichoke: layered, full of surprises, and taking effort to get to the heart. Hufflepuff would be a potato: reliable, hearty, and beloved by all, making everyone feel at home; and Ravenclaw would be an eggplant: elegant and versatile, unappreciated by some, but beloved by those who know how to handle them.
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What if we thought about what our houses would be as weather patterns? Gryffindor would be a thunderstorm: intense, dramatic, and never afraid to make an impact. Slytherin would be fog: mysterious and sneaky, capable of hiding secrets and intentions. Hufflepuff would be a gentle rain, soothing and steady, bringing a sense of calm and peace; and Ravenclaw would be clear skies, crisp and precise—perfect for observation.
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If we were plants, Gryffindors would be red roses—strong, passionate, and bold with vibrancy—and Slytherin would be ivy: sleek, climbing, and determined to grow and reach the top. Hufflepuff would be sunflowers: warm and cheerful, always turning towards the light; while Ravenclaw would be orchids, delicate and unique, with an air of mystery.
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If we were music genres, Gryffindor would be bold, loud, and rebellious Classic Rock or Punk. Slytherin would be sleek and mysterious Dark Synth or Trap; Hufflepuff would be heartfelt and sincere Indie Folk; and Ravenclaw would be chill and timeless Lo-fi or Classical.
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But back to the magic—if the Hogwarts houses were mythical creatures, Gryffindor would be a phoenix, brave and fiery, reborn through trials. Slytherin would be a basilisk: cunning and powerful, commanding respect and fear; and Hufflepuff would be a unicorn, pure and kind, exhibiting fierce loyalty.
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Ravenclaw would be a griffin, a wise and noble guardian of ancient knowledge. Finally, if these houses we are sorted in were wizards’ spells, Gryffindor would be Expecto Patronum, a powerful force that rises in moments of need. Slytherin would be Imperio, aiming to command power and control and influence others; Hufflepuff would be Protego Maxima, a shield charm to protect their friends; and Ravenclaw would be Revelio, to reveal hidden truths and uncover secrets.
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Transform their function, see them through a new lens...
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Think of the houses yourself and try to reimagine them as something else! Transform their function, see them through a new lens, and try some on your own. Remember though, this is all in good fun and meant to make you smile—don’t take it too far (I’m looking at you, Slytherins). As always, please be kind to one another!
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 08.
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HOW TO CHEAT A DEADLINE
by Oonagh Brown

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The deadline for an assignment is coming up and you are in no way prepared to get things done in time. Now, you are starting to become worried about your professors’ opinions of you, or about getting awful grades that will make your parents upset. Be it bad planning or (if we are being honest) not caring enough that got you into this situation, you now need a solution for your issue. This is a simple guide meant to help you through the decision-making process so that you can worry less.
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The first big question you need to ask yourself is whether this assignment is relevant for your grades. If the answer is no, then why are you even worried? Just skip it, and you can focus on the assignments that are actually relevant for the class. No one is going to care about a missing assignment that was not going to be graded anyway. Come up with an excuse; life is busy enough.
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indeed relevant to your overall grades, then the second question
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Are History of Magic or Astronomy really worth the effort?
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you need to bother yourself with is whether or not you care. Because are History of Magic or Astronomy really worth the headache? I know what my answer to this question would be. Nevertheless, if you would still like to go on and reply that yes, you really do care, then let me tell you how to not fail the assignment. Results may vary based on your performance and luck. I will not accept any blame for a T on your report card.
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If you truly wish to actually complete the assignment, the trick is to lower your expectations.
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First of all, check if you can delay the deadline. To do this, ask your professor for an extension. One way to do this is to pretend to be sick—there are many treats from the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes that can aid you with this task. You can skip the class entirely using this strategy, which means there is a chance you could hand in the assignment later on, depending on
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your professor.
xxIf you truly wish to actually complete the assignment, the trick is to lower your expectations.
xxKeep the topic basic, and figure out what will be the hardest task to accomplish in the assignment. Is it the research behind something, or the length of the work you must get done? If your problem is the latter, use filler words and ramble on.
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It might not be the most eloquent of assignments, but it will at least have met the assignment's minimum word count. Try to focus on what is the most important, and use limited resources when it comes to research, because you won’t have the time to do extensive exploration. If needed, get someone to help you.

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You might not get an O, but with some luck, you might at least get an A instead of a T.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 09.
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Muggle Item of the Month:
Exotic Animals

By Dorion Anderson
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Today, I come to you with my favourite thing: a top ten list, pet edition! We’ll start at number 10 and work our way towards my top favourite exotic pet that muggles have! They’re not legal everywhere, and I have no idea what wizard laws are regarding these pets because they are far less dangerous than most magical beasts!
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10. Eurasian Lynx — I put these at number 10—there are a lot of “exotic pets” that are just large cats. These ones have cute triangle beards that I think are really unique. Their habitats span from Europe to Asia. These Lynx are protected under a lot of different wildlife laws focused on their survival. Seriously, their twin triangle beards are adorable and I’m obsessed with them.
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9. Kinkajou — These are known as “honey bears”! They hail from South America, and in Europe they are not permitted as pets. However, they are very popular as pets in Southeast Asia. They have crazy long tongues and they received the honey name from using those tongues to retrieve honey out of beehives!
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8. Toucans — I’m not going to lie, toucans and birds with big beaks in general freak me out. They have pretty strict laws around Europe for owning Toucans, especially regarding importing and exporting. Speaking of their long beaks, they have the largest bill-to-body ratio. I have to admit, I wish they were smaller, but who am I to judge the ratio of birds?
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7. Wallaby — These are another one that are restricted in several areas because they are considered an introduced species. These are native to Australia and New Guinea, but have been introduced to New Zealand and Hawaii. They kind of look like mini kangaroos! What’s insane is that they can survive for months without water and get their water from the plants that they eat. For the hot regions they live in, that feels like an incredible evolutionary development.

6. Capuchin Monkeys — Owning primates in general has some of the strictest laws, but they are some of the most popular to import or own. They are incredibly intelligent and are incredibly social. If you want to own one, you need to be able to keep it occupied. They’re also able to use tools! Maybe not for repairs around the house though.

5. Servals — These have a lot of varied laws depending on the country, and a lot of them specifically ban breeding of servals. These are beautiful cats from Africa, and they are highly dangerous if you don’t know how to take care of them. They have been nicknamed “giraffe cats” due to their silhouette caused by their long legs and neck.
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4. Axolotls — These have become an icon in plushies and animation because they’re so adorable. Due to being endangered, laws around their trade are very strict to protect their population. They have a crazy ability to regrow their limbs or even parts of their brain, which is so cool, but also kind of terrifying in a way. To me, they look creepy in real life, but adorable as plushies.

3. Sugar Gliders — These animals have pretty loose laws around the world, and they are native to Australia. These are beautiful, adorable little creatures. Sugar gliders should be kept in pairs or groups as they will be deeply depressed if they’re kept on their own. They have “wings” between their arms and legs that help them glide from place to place.

2. Coatimundi — These are highly restricted to own and are considered an invasive species. They are SO cute! They are native to South and Central America. If you can, I highly recommend looking at a picture of them because they are scary and adorable at the same time. While the males are typically solitary creatures, the females and children live in groups together.
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1. Fennec Foxes — I love these little guys with their big big ears. Their ears are actually used for regulating their temperature as they typically inhabit the desert. They’re the smallest type of foxes! Depending on where you are in Europe, you may or may not be able to own these depending on licensing. Honestly, these are number one just because they’re so adorable and cuddleable, even though I know I shouldn’t base it all off that.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky
The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #41
PAGE 10.
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Putting Your Hand Up
By Alyssea Brown
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Putting your hand up, or simply getting involved, can be a daunting experience. For the junior years, it feels almost impossible to do so. After all, we’re still young and being at a magic school is a new experience. Hogwarts is a massive school and it seems the halls never have an end. So, where can we begin to make a name for ourselves? And importantly, why should we establish our place in the school community?
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Getting involved can ease you into the school life with fewer difficulties.
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You’ll meet all sorts of students with similar goals and interests; it’s a great way to make friends!
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Not only that, you end up figuring out what you want to do with your life. We come into Hogwarts with almost no clue where we want to be by the time we leave. We’re only eleven years old and fresh in a world we’ve likely never experienced at its fullest. Luckily for you, the school has many areas you can participate in and find your calling.
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We’re only eleven years old and fresh in a world we’ve likely never experienced at its fullest.
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House Sports!
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Trying out the sports teams is a simple way to start establishing your name in the school..
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Getting involved can start in your house. Want to join your house’s sports teams? You’ve got the choice to cast spells and dodge on the dueling team, dodge bludgers on the Quidditch pitch, or race through treacherous tracks on a broom (broom racing). Trying out the sports teams is a simple way to start establishing your name in the school.
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Event Committees
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For the less-sporty people, there’s still ways for you to get involved. Students can be invited to plan seasonal events, such as the Spring Ball, summer camp, and the Fall Ball. These events are the highlight of everyone’s time here. In addition, students from all over the world in schools such as Durmstrang, Beauxbatons, and Ilvermorny join us, so you can definitely garner some attention from them for planning these events.
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For the less-sporty people, there’s still ways for you to get involved.
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These events are the highlight of everyone’s time here.
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Clubs and Clans
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Then we’ve got clubs!
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Still not a sportsperson or a planner? Then we’ve got clubs! There are many clubs catering to different interests across the student body. They are student-made and led and there’s sure to be something that catches your eye. There’s music groups, peer tutoring groups, and even groups where you can discuss your love for specific classes. You only have to look around and write your name on their sign-up sheets.
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Or… how about our Mentors Program?
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If you still feel unsure about how to get involved, the mentor program is a great navigation tool. We have mentors who are well-versed in everything the school has to offer and many mentor-mentee pairings end up as great friends that further deepens the growing student’s involvement in the school. If you’ve been at the school for a long time but also feel like you haven’t made a name for yourself, then being a mentor is a great start! After all, you were once in the first years’ shoes, in awe of everything and unsure of where to start.
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After all, you were once in the first years’ shoes, in awe of everything and unsure of where to start.
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While I can’t cover everything you could possibly do at this school, I hope this has given you an idea of where you can get started. You’ve got years ahead of you, so make it worth your time.

And for seniors who are on the fence about getting involved in something in their final year, remember, it’s never too late to try one more thing on your way out.
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Stamina: 10 | Evasion: 14 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 17 | ArcPower: 12 | Accuracy: 17
Perfectionist I & II, Fearless, Spell Spread, Nonverbal Magic
iNPC Vyacheslav Aleksandrovich Preobrazhensky