the stars have faded pv gem Closed

interacting w/ @Brielle Gray

Closure was something Gem found to be an important factor in the ending of all things. Maybe you couldn't always get it, but you'd eventually have to seek for it in yourself to have a handle on peace.

Gem knew that was a necessity, especially in something like relationships.
Brielle had hit below the belt in the library, and it was difficult for him. Not only to forgive her, but when it came down to how hard it was to try and make that opinion seem small. He thought quite highly of her, he never felt like he had a reason not to, but what she'd said about him then? That might as well have just diminished the self-esteem he'd been building up, forget the respect he'd had for her prior to that. Of course, he spoke to Rafa and felt a bit better, but the sting never quite washed off, he knew it wouldn't for a while.

Mornings at Hogwarts were always gorgeous, when the sun made her presence known through his window. His fatass cat, too, when he sat right on his chest before Gem could even relish in the vitamin D he was being provided. It didn't take him too long to get dressed, just a dark blue jumper and some black trousers that hung off his hips, his favorite sneakers. He decided to bring Basil too, because he figured both him and Brielle would need a fat cat to hug if it hurt that much. Not only that, but Basil was quite good at preventing screaming matches.

While he walked, he thought about what he was going to say-- what he even ought to say, or if he should just listen. Gem was quite good at that, but once he had to be listened to, he found it difficult to get his words right in order, the way he was always jumping back and forth. He'd just have to rely on his instinct, and even then, he felt the anxiety tick him, right in the bottom of his belly.

He saw Brielle, the back of her head, anyway. He made his motions slow, as not to startle her, and leaned his head over once he was close enough, a small smile that dropped dead when he realized now just wasn't the time.

"Hey."

interacting with @Gem Stuart

Gem's voice was soft, cool and collected- even. Although she wasn't startled by his presence, she certainly didn't know he was there. Brielle saw a hint of a smile on his face, though as it faded away, she frowned. Was the sight of her that bad? She wondered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Unsure of what to say, or even how to start the conversation, she patted the empty space on the bench, hoping he would sit next to her. As weird as it was, she didn't feel nervous, or uncomfortable in the slightest. Should she? Sure, there was some tension between them, but why let that ruin the mood. If she could manage it, she hoped this talk would go easily; all uncomfortable silences and facial expressions aside.

[font=bakersville bold]"Hey, hope this isn't too early for you.. and your cat."[/font] She said with a laugh, leaning out to stroke it's head with her right hand. He was soft, his purrs light and happy. She smiled, wondering if she should get a cat herself. She had enough for it, but.. she hadn't a clue on how to take care of one. Maybe she could ask Gem that too, indicating from how nicely shaped up his seemed to be.

She glanced back up at him, watching if he would sit down beside her, or continue to stand. Either way, she would try her best to remain positive. That's what friends were for, right?

Were they even friends anymore, though?

interacting w/ @Brielle Gray

Gem took her invitation for the seat, letting Basil loaf on his lap. He couldn't really find the words he wanted to use, how he should even start-- he didn't want to apologize, he didn't know what to even... say, what he could say to make anything better. They both understood this happened due to a misunderstanding, but how could they properly convey it without demonizing the other? That was hard to do, but he figured it was possible.

"I was confused," Gem said, petting Basil's back idly. "I don't really know who I am or how I'm supposed ta act." He sucked on his teeth, tapping his foot at a ridiculously fast pace due to the nerves. "You're... yer pretty. You're better than me, yer smart an' witty, cool. An' I wos Gem. When we met, I was real... ehm, well, I wasn't... I wos fat. Real ugly, awkward, didn't think I'd even have a chance, right? So when I got all... fit, I guess, and you expressed interest... I dunno. It joost ran through my head, it's bullshite, I know, but I was insecure. I am insecure."

"I wos askin' for advice because I'm having me own problems. I don't... erugh, I think I-" He inhaled, looking up at the sky, then back at Brielle. "I'm interested in boys, too. Girls and boys, an' that made me feel... like... ugh, I don't know. I don't- look. Wot I'm tryin' to say is, I never hit on anyone while we were togever, nor did I hit on anyone after. That bird? At the library? She... took it weird-- my complement, I mean. Kept starin' at me, an' I didn't know wot to do. I hated it, I don't like people misinterpreting me words. When they do, I joost let em', I go wiv it, and I shouldn't. I'm sorry."

He chewed the inside of his cheek, looking down when Basil pushed himself further into Gem's chest, getting orange cat hair all over his dark cardigan. He swore that cat purred so loud, he'd cause an earthquake.

interacting with @Gem Stuart

She practically wanted to die right there, after he complimented her and everything. Then he said something that she hadn't suspected at all. He thought she liked him because he.. he got fit? She thought about it for a moment, feeling not only disgusted in herself, but also ashamed. That wasn't how it was meant to be. She swore she didn't like him just because..


[font=bakersville bold]"No, Gem- That wasn't why I.. I liked you because of you. That day in the study room? It meant something to me. I invited you to that party because I liked you, not because of how you looked."[/font] She said, unable to meet her eyes with his. It was the truth, that his looks never really mattered to her. Sure, he had begun to progress into what was classified as attractive, but that never really changed her viewpoint of him.

It made her sad, though, after hearing that he thought that was the case. She thought he was a wonderful person, maybe even perfect in her eyes. So to hear him say he's insecure threw her off, unsure of what to say afterwards. Fortunetly, she didn't have to say anything after that, because he continued talking.

[font=bakersville bold] "I'm interested in boys, too. Girls and boys,"[/font] He had then said, looking up at the sky as if he didn't really know if he meant to tell her or not. Brielle smiled though, her eyes glossy and wet. She'd say it was just the sun in her eyes, but we both know that isn't the case. The fact that Gem had come out to her was enough to put a smile on her face, and she didn't even know why. It wasn't weird to her, talking to her ex about their sexuality. If anything she found it comforting that he told her.

It then made her think about herself. She wasn't sure what she had been interested sexuality wise, and if she was being honest- she had been scared to find out. She thought guys were acttractive, no doubt about it.. but she also had thought that girls were the prettiest things in the world. They were like the apple that Eve touched in the bible. It was beautiful, tempting- though frowned upon if messed with. She refused to think about it on her part, up until now that is.

She then nodded, understanding what he was trying to get at. [font=bakersville bold]"I believe you, I do. You shouldn't have to apologize for being nice. I'm the one who should be sorry about embarrassing you like that."[/font]

interacting w/ @Brielle Gray

It was nice to see he was safe, the way the water cleared out. He felt like it was all just miscommunication, lots of teenage anger and the lack of ability to control themselves. He cared about Brielle, but there was never a right way to decipher what all that care meant. He could never find a way to amount it to something, no matter how many times he wrote about it, thought about it, or shouted about it.

"Thanks fer understandin'," He mumbled, rubbing Basil's ears between his fingers. "An'... I am sorry, ya know, for not bein' able to communicate correctly. That wasn't fair ta you, an' it made stuff all hard." It was difficult to, but looking at her right in the face while he apologized felt better than just looking at the floor all vacant-eyed. She deserved that, at least, since that was about all he could give her. It was tempting to lean over and hug her, but that felt like he would've been pushing a boundary-- all the comfort tactics he usually had were out the window, aside from his cat. You could never go wrong with a cat, especially a tubby one like Basil.