Unsent Letters solo beware it's depressing

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September 9th, 2024 Ravenclaw dorm, 04:56 am mentions : @erendriel ravaxidor Mom !! I've talked to my roomate !! I know I just sent you a letter earlier mentioning this, but I couldn't sound too happy without raising your suspicions. I feel less alone in this huge dorm now, knowing I have a kindred soul asleep next to my awaken body. The moon has been watching over me, too. She looks like dad sometimes, all calm and gentle. You're the sun, too bright and lively for my sore eyes, yet such a comfort to the skin. Things are gentler now. I’ve actually slept. The stag - he’s vanished. I don’t know where he’s gone, but I’m grateful. The nightmares are fading too. I dreamed last night that a soft light poured from Eren’s bed, and it chased the shadows from mine. Maybe it’s silly, but I believe her presence really is keeping them at bay - and somehow, me too. I should try sleeping again. The sun will rise soon - and I want to greet it without yawning. Love always, Elena.

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September 26th, 2024 Astronomy Tower, 22:40 am Dad, I know how serious you are about following the rules, but breaking curfew and getting up here was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's peaceful, I can hear myself think - and it's too high for them to climb. The moon casted a protective halo over the place, I really think she's protecting me. I've been writing less and less 'to be burned later' letters, I hope it stays that way ! I've made some new friends, that I told you but I haven't told you how grateful I am for their presence. They balance the dreadful nights by making the day worth getting up for. Does that makes sense ? I am tired, I should probably head back. I've been coming here for a few days and luckily I haven't met any prefects yet. I think I might be able to catch some sleep tonight, I feel peaceful. Kiss Storm for me, I miss him. Love you, Elena.

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October 13th, 2024 Ravenclaw dorm, 08:56 mentions : @evpraksiya vinogradova Dad, I've had the strangest dream. Do you believe in fallen angels ? I think I've just met one. She was so ethereal, shedding crystal tears and yet completely devoid of any emotion. I could read her like a book, and yet I couldn't pick up the words written there. I like her. I think she was a gift from the moon. I've been spending way too much time in the tower, but I think you would have liked it there. So many tools, so many stars and planets, and the calm.... I wish I could take you there. I wish you were here. Strangely enough, I've slept like a young child tonight. Maybe the fallen girl casted a spell on me. I hope she was real. Do you believe in miracles ? Love, Elena.

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November 17th, 2024 Great Lake, 04:33 am I hate it here. They won’t leave me alone. I don’t know what I did. Why won’t they let me sleep? I’m so tired—so goddamn tired. I hate you. Why aren’t you here ? Why did you leave me ? Why did you left me there ? Why did you tell her ? Why did you leave me with them ? Why didn’t you stop her from saying those things ? Why did you wait so long to leave them ? What’s happening to me, Dad ? Can’t anyone see something’s wrong? It’s here. Always here. Right behind my eyes. It chased me down today, mom. Chased me down in the real world. I'm tired, just so fucking tired. I wish I could tell someone everything.

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November 18th, 2024 Ravenclaw dorm, 16:35 am Grandma, Yesterday was probably the worse night since that december evening. I saw you, again. You were always the sharper one, cruel with slicing words and disguised insults, thinking I was too young or soft-brained to comprehend them. Was that why you brought me to their house ? Why you left me alone with the devil's child ? I can't seem to remember all of it, but I know the shadows found their shape in that mansion. Where the stag took its first steps. But it was your voice who gave it life. It's your words I hear every night, your tone that rings still through my ears, you. I hate you. Just because you consider my blood tainted ? Is that really why ? I try to convince myself that is it but I don't understand what I did to deserve your contempt, to deserve that look in your eyes everytime my father dropped me at your place. The worse is that you have probably forgotten about me. I have a feeling you got everything you wanted, and you're not waiting time stuck here like me. You're just thinking it's a small thing that happened, but the world ended when it happened to me. It crumbled, and it still does. Do you know how terrifying it feels to watch yourself be torn apart, piece by piece, without being able to do anything about it ? Do you know how silly it feels, to feel like something rotten has taken roots inside of you, knowing that the cause of it are some words uttered with disdain ? I hate you. I wish you'd love me. Even once. Yours in name only, your granddaughter.

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December 29th, 2024 Home, 14:56 am mention : @evpraksiya vinogradova Dear Evpraksiya, This is the first 'to be burned' letter I've written in a month. And it's addressed to you. That means your presence has soothed my mind in a way no medecine had managed to. I've been getting a lot more hours of sleep, and the shadows are kept at the doormat. I could never thank you enough for that. I truly think one day, I might be able to talk about it. And it will be to you. what if it goes like last time i talked about it to someone ? shut up, ev wouldn't do that. but.. what if ? what if- shush. Those few days we've spent together have sparked a smile that has not left my mouth since we last saw each other. You're the one person I've never been closer to, and I truly hope you feel the same about me. Thank you for being the black light that scared the shadows away, and thank you for knowing me better than myself. You feel like home, and I never want to loose you. Sincerely, Lena.

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