Que Sera, Sera pv brook

ℬrookline Quinn wasn’t doing absolutely horrid but she wasn’t faring exactly well. Dark, ambiguous, unclear dreams plagued her sleep, and rude voices played games with her mind when she was awake, haunting her and hissing at her fears, her misgivings, her weaknesses, EVERYTHING SHE DID WRONG.

She was tired, and she was ready to give someone a swift uppercut right in the jaw. Classes had just finished, and the first stop the Welsh girl would go to would be her dorm. When she got there, Brookline would change her robes for a more suitable attire. A white pull-over jumper and some blue Jean shorts. More comfy. She didn’t brush her hair today; she had just thrown it into a super messy bun. With quick slender fingers she took out the bun, and French braided her rats nest of hair. A quick look in the mirror, and Brookline didn’t care. Her hair looked frizzy, and messy but oh well!

The next pit stop was a trip to the library! For a while now, probably close to a month now, all she had been obsessed about one thing. Fire. Pick up a few more books about fire, and perhaps read a bit outside.

Brookline’s love for the Hogwarts’ grounds has not changed yet. Even though, her father has left her TWICE, she still loved the clearness and the bliss of the beautiful gardens. Though, she had not been able to visit them much during her study-healing era and then the distress era, she still had a joy for the flowers, and the soil.

As Brookline took a deep inhale, her thoughts drifted to flame, as she took a step into the Courtyard. It was comforting, and books under her arm, she made her way to the fountain with two griffins, sitting on the rim, next to a griffin.

“Hi, Mr. Griffin. Or Miss Griffin? How are you, today?”

If a student or professor had walked by at that moment, they might think that girl was mental. She might have been insane to talk to an inanimate object, but Brookline needed to. She was so, so sick of all that crap, and it was getting to her. She just needed a day where she could be herself. Ever since her father left the first time, she hadn’t been herself. She wanted to be that little goofy immature girl again. She didn’t want to be a girl who couldn’t share her feelings because voices in her head hissed that her for “breaking the rules”.

At first, Brookline didn’t hear the sobbing, completely lost in her thoughts and scenarios of a conversation with the griffin. Then realizing she was being stupid for even pretending to have a conversation with the statue, she pushed it to the back of her mind, and that was when she heard the crying. Curious, and if she could she would at least try to help the one who was crying, she pushed herself off the edge of the fountain and headed towards the sound.

That’s when she found her. It was Sage, hands over her face, crying. A huge wave of pain wafted through Brookline but her eyebrows knit in confusion. When did Sage ever cry? She was always such a strong girl, always telling the Ravenclaw that it wasn’t her fault.

Whoever made my friend cry just might get socked in the face. Or jinxed, if they’re lucky, Brookline vowed, her fingers drawing in a fist.

Brookline sprinted over to Sage, her own eyes filling with tears. Tears would slip from her own eyes, and flicking them away, she trembled. She’d never known Sage to cry, and it hurt. Brookline knew about Sage’s past, and her father, and how it really hurt Sage, but the Hufflepuff never complete sobbed about it.

It had always been her. Who cried in front of Sage. Not the other way around. She wondered if it was easier to be the one crying or not. Because she had literally no idea what to do except ask the obvious. Then after a few more tears slip from her eyes, she had an idea.

Before squeezing Sage into a hug, she would make sure Sage knew it was her. It was a long hug, but Brookline knew Sage needed a longer snug. Then she released Sage, her eyes squeezed tight, trying to keep her tears in. After a moment of silence, she flicked open her eyes, tears slick on her lashes, and she would ask a question.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Then Brookline over thought herself. So she added, “Of course, if you don’t wanna tell me, I’m going to stay with you. But, I’m not going to lie, if one of the students made you cry, I’d like to know. They’re going to be sorry they ever said anything to you.” She wasn’t joking.

But she gave her friend another hug, and thought, I’ll stay with you, like you stayed with me.

inventory: .

date- May 1st, 2025 title translation: What Will Be, Will Be time- after classes

wc- 382 interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes- note to readers: this thread heavily deals with mourning, please read at your own discretion

Had her eyes flooded? Or was this just what it was really like to cry? Sage, for course, had cried. She'd cried for a year's worth of tears, maybe even more. But this pounding in her chest, the beating of a heart when she cried for one that no longer beat, broke down the floodgates she'd built.

Why was this so hard?

The whirling and muffled world around her was muted to her sobs. She couldn't manage to breathe in all the way; were her tears her new oxygen? Was this how she survived, breathing in pain and shattered glass? Her lungs and heart, cut up by the fragile pieces of broken relationships, reminded her that her grandmum was gone. And Sage had to keep on without her.

She jumped at the feeling of an arm around her. Was it the ghost of Iris Lyser there to calm her? Her removed her hands from where they cupped her face to meet the ocean eyes of Brookline Quinn.

It took her a moment to digest her words. Everything seemed to happen in delays those days. Sage managed a dry chuckle at the idea of Brook thinking another student caused her tears.

"No... If they had caused... this, they'd be scrubbing the owlery." She forced a shaky, uncertain breath as a sob caught in her throat. "She's gone..." came the whispery voice. "She died this morning."

Elaborating on who the "her" was happened to be the least of her worries. Saying the name would only open a never closed wound. The echoing scream of grief pounded her body, a direct blow to an already broken heart. She couldn't even try to wipe her tears. Was she crazy to offer advice to people since she was falling apart? Would anyone listen to her ever again if they knew how she screamed inside her mind? She'd seen the possibility of forever, now she was colliding with a dead end.

A fresh wave of realization washed over her. "My-" Sage hiccuped over the word. "My grandmum." Panicked, hurried breathing sent Sage in a frenzy. "I don't know what to do... I don't, I don't, I don't. She was the closest I'd ever get to my Mum again, I didn't even know her! I won't ever know her."

ℬrookline felt Sage jump as she wrapped her thin, wiry arms around the Hufflepuff. She felt bad for scaring Sage, but she focused her attention on Sage and now how she scared her. Sage brought her hands down to see Brookline.

Sage had chuckled a little, and stated that if a student had made her cry, that the student would be cleaning the Owlery. Brookline shook her head, slightly, thinking, If a student actually did, though, they’d still deserve a jinx. But never mind her thoughts, why pay attention to anything other than Sage? Sage was the one hurting and this time Brookline had to help her. The Welsh girl gulped, it was going to be pretty hard. Hard to find words to say when she was always on the verge of tears or a mental breakdown. Merlin, why did everything have to be so hard?

Then came Sage’s soft, wispy voice that reminded Brookline of a Will-o'-the-wisp, “She's gone... She died this morning.” That’s what made the Ravenclaw freeze. Oh. Death. Tears rolled down the cheeks, as she stared at Sage. Death was a horrible, horrible thing and Brookline grabbed Sage’s hands. She could only guess who died.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and she listened to her friend. Sage told Brookline that her grandmum had just died.

Poor girl. First, her mum, and then her dad sends her away. Now her grandmum. Her blue eyes filled with compassion for her best friend.

“She was the closest I'd ever get to my Mum again, I didn't even know her! I won't ever know her.” Sage started breathing faster. Brookline didn’t know what to do. Sage was gonna do some rash decisions if she didn’t calm down.

There! Sage needed to calm down. Brookline took a deep breath.

With tears silently streaming down her face, Brookline stated, “Sage, the first thing you need to do is breathe. Deep breath in, and deep breath out.” The girl inhaled, and exhaled, waiting for Sage to comply and do as well.

Once Sage hadn’t quite looked like she was going to expose with hurt, Brookline let go of Sage’s hands. “You wanna know the second thing you need? A cwtch¹.” The Welsh girl would wrap her arms around Sage, hoping Sage would feel better.

“Now. Did you know your grandmum and mum will always be in here?” Brookline pointed to Sage’s chest. “They will always be there. Even if you don’t feel like they’re there.”

ooc notes: ¹hug

date- May 1st, 2025 title translation: What Will Be, Will Be time- after classes

wc- 539 interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes- note to readers: this thread heavily deals with mourning, please read at your own discretion

Nothing was normal, nothing felt true. The ruse lived by all she'd known, claiming they'd be there forever, had truly shown its first signs of demise. Another hill she'd run up to scream at the clouds, another shrine built to honor the legacy of a deceased moment. Her dorm room felt like a permanent empty chill with its walls filled with the memories of all time.

The crux of the matter was that Sage couldn't move on. Her lungs denied taking in the air of a new day without Grandmum Iris. But that was hypocritical. She hadn't known the woman for Christ's sake! She hadn't known anything about the Lyser family. The idea of remembering what you'd never even seen became the mantra Sage forced herself to think and the facade she kept herself living.

This feeling was not unknown. The tug on the heartstrings that you felt while watching some sad movie, the crying you did when remembering finishing the final chapters of a sad book, and what was that but a scratch on the knee compared to this? This was an open wound. And she couldn't change how she felt about this.

And there, sitting in the courtyard, was Sage Willows. And part of her was breaking.

The command to breathe felt foreign to her ears. She'd heard it before, from Cassie, she was sure she'd heard it from her mum at one point, too. Sage forced a breath. She forced herself to continue. She silenced another choking sob. Did it make her a horrible person to cry in front of someone who she was sure was still suffering through similar pains? "Okay," she whispered. Breathing the air of a world without Iris Lyser felt odd. But she kept breathing. And soon the ear-shattering screams slowed. "God, where'd you get so smart?"

Sage accepted a strong but simple hug from Brookline. Her heart, broken just moments ago when she saw that owl flying down, was now held together by the hands held out to her, meant to piece her back together. Just that idea made her want to crumple again.

Her face scrunched up when Brook reminded her of where her mum and grandmum stayed. Don't cry! Don't cry! she said inside her head. She allowed her hands to cup her face again as she whispered, "But I wasn't there for them, for my grandmum. I had my chance to see her, to be with her, and I gave it all up! I rejected the last chance I had. Why would she waste her time with someone who didn't waste her time with her? I picked my spot as far away from her as I could and called it safe, and look at me now! Look at what this karma has done to me!"

Look at me now.

This state of mind, disfigured by the lack of a guiding light, seemed like a joke. The time she would spend wandering empty and dimmed halls, none of it was worth what she was feeling in exchange. Every time she opened her mouth from then on wouldn't justify the words her brain had screamed. She was in need of a lifeboat.

She was in need of a grandmum again.

ℬrookline slowed her own breathing down, so she could show Sage that she could do it too. Sage was breaking, Brookline could feel it. She knew she herself, was broken, but it hurt her heart, when she glanced at small, breaking Sage, and she wanted to sob.

Sage took a second to breath more easily, and she took in a breathe of air. Phew. That-that's good. Brookline thought, She's not going to hyperventilate on me. She could hear a small hollow chuckle inside her. That was how hollow she was.

Hollow.

Empty.

Meaningless.

Void.

Those were what she felt, but she had to go on. She couldn't make her dear friend cry again. It'll make her life harder, make her cry again.

Brookline nodded encouraging, when Sage whispered. She wanted so bad to cry, to sob, to do whatever she could to show her despair to the ding dang world. She didn't care. That one person who turned her into that monster she was, didn't care. So she wouldn't care either.

But she did care. She cared too much.

"God, where'd you get so smart?" Sage kept breathing.

Brookline thought about it for a second. She wanted to be precise with her words, and she didn't want to say the wrong word and Sage blow up and then the entire world shatters.

Of course she was extremely exaggerating but that was her. A worst case scenario generator.

"Er. Probably you. Or my experiences, but mostly you. You've seen me at my worst, and didn't think twice to help me stop crying." Brookline grinned sheepishly, and then a little frown tugged on her face as she remembered. Sage used to say, I need you to breathe again. And that's what Brookline needed. For her friend to breathe again.

Brookline gave her friend a strong squeeze, and then pulled away, a few moments later. She glanced at Sage's face, and it scrunched back up, as if the Hufflepuff was to cry again. A hint of a dark memory crosed over Brookline's face, a gloomy shadow swirled uneasily, almost like a storm, in the dark blue ocean of her irise sas she was reminded of all the times when she cried, and was able to stop crying for a moment, only to have a sob escape her throat once again, and she would start full-blown crying again.

Please don't cry, she silently pleaded with Sage, if you cry, I'll cry.

Sage's palms flew to her face again, a thing Brookline did often as well, and the Hufflepuff started speaking regretfully. Brookline knew that regret well, it was the regret that boiled in her stomach and dumped on everything when she burst.

"Look at what this karma has done to me now!"

Brookline flinched. She wondered of whenever she explained her problems, if Sage ever flinched at her words. She hated herself for recoiling. She hoped desperately Sage didn't peek through her cupped fingers, and see Brookline flinch from her words.

Suddenly, the brunnete felt tight. Her chest went rigid, her rib cage stiffening and tightening. Her heart started thumping a million miles per minute, and her breaths felt small and shallow. It felt like that one time where this one random girl, a maid, at a wealthy pure-blood's gala, pulled the uncomfortable corset that was on the ugly dress, too tight, these stupid frock her parents insisted her to wear. She had felt constricted, and it had felt like her insides were leaking out one part of her body.

Brookline felt like that. And now, without doning a quite ugly frilly dress, wearing a simple jumper, she felt like that something has tied around her torso, and was suffocating her. She sucked in a deep breath and despite the unbearable pain, she wasn't about to show the discomfort to her upset friend. She wondered if this was karma for flinching at her friend. But of course it couldn’t.

Words she hadn't even thought of tumbled straight out of her lips.

"Sage," Brookline sank lower in the grass as she started, to make eye comtact with her friend. "It's not karma. It's not karma." She ended up repeating herself as she searched for a reason. She also ended up repeating her words in her head.

She wouldn't wait for Sage's answer and if Sage end up utter anything, Brookline only held up her pointer finger and would give her reasoning.

"I... think that everything.... happens for a, uh..." The Ravenclaw shut her eyes tight and searched for answersl. It felt like her ribs closing in on her heart, and her heart was to be smashed, and she would die. Her chest hurt like crazy. It was so weird and at the same time, she wanted to cry and die. She needed her answer. A bona fide reason.

Ooo! A lightbulb went off. Reason!

When Brookline opened her ocean eyes, a bold light flickered across the waters. Despite the unbelievable agony in her chest, she felt happy.

"Reason. Everything happens for a reason. My mum told me everything happens for some odd reason... I...I just can't remember. But I think, I don't know why how to explain this without making one of us, or both of us cry, I think, er, perhaps your grandmum is supposed to live on in you. God knows why your mum and grandmum was taken from you, but I don't why people we love are ripped away from us...." She paused, tears burning her eyes. Her heart beating so fast, she thought she could pass out. But she didn't. "But. Everything happens for a reason. A reason no-one will ever know why. All I know is that your mum and grandmum are in a better place. I feel it."

Brookline closed her eyes, her heart slowly stopping it's quick race, but her chest still felt someone had their arms wrapped around too tight, meaning to kill her. She wondered why that happened and would it even pass?

ooc notes:

date- May 1st, 2025 title translation: What Will Be, Will Be time- after classes

wc- 673 interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes- note to readers: this thread heavily deals with mourning, please read at your own discretion

Part of her felt dead inside. Everything, rushing at her in one fell swoop, destroying what she finally thought had been repaired. Deep cracks formed in her heart, tearing out the chunk that she’d reserved for Iris Lyser.

Could you breathe with a broken heart?

Could you refrain from being lonely even when you were alone?

Could you ever repair, restart?

Could you remove the dagger that wedged itself inside you?

Brookline, still next to her, helping her slow her breathing hadn’t run away. Most people seemed to run away, so why wasn’t she? Maybe Iris Lyser left because she knew part of Sage had already run away from that part of her family. But Brookline’s next sentence crushed any idea she’d had that Brook would have left her.

Sage always doubted she would have ever had the effect on someone’s life like the one Brookline was describing, but she knew deep down inside that her friend wouldn’t ever lie to her. Or at least she hoped not.

“I’d be a horrible person if I didn’t help you.” She hiccuped as a result of her crying. Maybe it was naive of her to say the next part, but Sage was too distraught to clearly think. “I’ll always be there to help you when you need it.”

Like a secret club’s oath, crossing her heart and all that, Sage would always promise to be there for her friends. It didn’t matter how much pain she was facing on her own, she would be there through thick and thin. Maybe it was tied to the part of her that still pleaded late at night for her father to show one sign of emotion toward her that she felt the need to be there to comfort her friends. Maybe it was just because she had such a deep love for her friends. Maybe she wouldn’t ever truly understand herself or her values.

But the end of all the endings was there.

One blink, and it was all over.

When she met Brook’s own eyes like the ocean, she couldn’t help but feel like she was dragging her down, forcing her to see her in that worst moment. Sage could see the conflicting emotion in her friend’s eyes, road maps of Brookline’s own familial drama etched on her face through the shadows. She was making it worse, wasn’t she?

When Brookline hugged her, Sage allowed her own arms to twist up to hug her friend. It took a moment to convince herself that her touch, her presence, wasn’t poison. It sure would explain why everyone seemed to leave though.

It’s my fault. It always is, she thought. Her own internal voice felt sticky like syrup, leaving a trace on everything on everyone who she dared to be around. Her heart beat thundered inside her chest. Sage’s body felt like a cage.

Brookline’s reassurance that her grandmum’s death wasn’t karma came, Sage struggled to hear it. Struggling to take a full breath, shuddering and trying to calm herself, she was falling apart. She couldn’t even put a response together. She couldn’t seem to do anything those days.

Her friend always knew what to say, though. An unwavering comfort, her buoy. God knows what Sage would do if she didn’t have Brookline’s support. Then again, if it weren’t for Brook, Sage would never have thought about even telling someone about her family’s drama.

And then she spoke.

Even though it was day, something seemed to dawn on Sage. Brook was right. Any struggle Sage had been suffering vanished, leaving her breathing easily.

“If I never knew someone,” she exhaled, “how can I tell their story?”

Sage met Brookline’s eyes, doing her best to keep her eyes dry. The path the tears had left on her cheeks felt like burning scars. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without them.”

Ironic, wasn’t it, for a dry laugh to escape Sage? She couldn’t help it, she tilted her head back and screamed, “What the hell am I supposed to do without them?!”

ℬrookline just dared to glance at her friend and fears dared to slip down her pale, cheeks. Brookline resisted the urge to shut tight her eyes. She knew. Once she shut her eyes, all the tears would flow and flow until she was drowing in a ocean of tears.

Sage hiccuped as she remarked she would be a horrible person if she didn't help Brookline. Hot rage boiled in her belly as she heard her friend's words. She shook her head firmly. "No. You wouldn't be a horrible person. You do know I've lived a life where people didn't help me, just walked past as I sobbed my eyes out, and I still loved them dearly. Some I didn't know and I didn't think anything. They were probably busy. Sometimes it was my best friends. They didn't realize I was crying before, and I didn't tell them. I still care. And - and my best friend here. I - I don't even know if she's even still here at Hogwarts. S-she probably left, yet, I still care. Even my freaking mum! She used to be the most kindest, loveable, calmest, gentleless human being. Now, since my father decided to leave and break her poor heart, she's been so absent. She's looks like she's a ghost, still wandering around aimlessly and hating everything around her. Do I still love her? Yes.

"... I - I still care and love." Brookline wanted to cry. Again. A sob threatened escape her throat.

The tightness on her chest strenghted, as her gaze drifted to the grass, the ground. Green turf in front of her, green turf behind her, green turf all around her. Count them, Brookline, count them.

Sage asked a question, similar to all the questions Brookline asked whenever she was on the ground, sobbing her face off. A question about how was Sage supposed to tell her grandmum's story when she didn't know her. Before the brunette could even muster, to draw up the much needed air to speak, Sage spoke again.

"I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without them."

I don't know what I'm supposed to do either! My mum is emotionally gone, my father is somewhere else, what am I supposed to do? Brookline voiced all those questions in her head, and they never traveled to her lips. She didn't even want them to. Why should she voice the same question when she was supposed to have a halfed answer? Why did parents have to do this? Why did the universe have to laugh at her? Why did everything had to go bad for both of them? Who caused this? Why did Chase Quinn start drinking? Why did anyone drink? Why did she have to be the role model? Why did she have been the one with the answers? She had questions too!!

Brookline sighed, as all those questions voiced in her head that she didn't have an answer to. She did, but now she was starting to doubt herself. A stupid reason? she criticized herself, Why did I ever say that?

Although stuff did happened for a reason. Whatever that reason was, Brookline would just have to find out for herself. No-one seemed to want to tell her why, or even tell her that they didn't know.

Then suddenly Sage screamed. Brookline's eyes grew wet, and everything crashed. She wanted to scream, too. She wanted to yell all of the curses she knew. All of them. She wished her kitten was with her. She wished her kind, calm mum was with her. Amy would know what to do. She always did.

Or at least she did.

The panicking brunette quickly grabbed hold of Sage's wrist, and silently pleaded with her friend to calm down. Her watery, ocean eyes looked frightened, anxious, and wild as she gazed into Sage's warm brown irises. "Please. Don't work yourself up again. It's only going to hurt more. Drown yourself in anger, depression, and tears, and soon you won't know how to breath again. You won't know what to do other than just freaking cry. Please."

Brookline held her undomesticated gaze, as she remained panicked, her breaths shallow. Her heart was going a million miles per minute.

I hate feeling this! She thought, the words in her head spiraling. Just why do I have to feel like this?!

ooc notes:

date- May 1st, 2025 title translation: What Will Be, Will Be time- after classes

wc- 463 interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes- note to readers: this thread heavily deals with mourning, please read at your own discretion

She didn’t deserve Brookline Quinn. She was too good of a friend, too good of a person. She knew Brook deserved so much better than the cards life had dealt her. And instead of bolting, turning her back on every negative dilemma that strolled her way, she faced it head on. She comforted those going through the same battles, Sage couldn’t believe her grace while handling it.

“I hope,” Sage whispered, “I was never that way to you. Careless.”

Hearing her friend talk about her own ghost of a mum, Sage thought aloud, saying, “Do you ever think ghosts are alive sometimes? Like… Like what’s happened to your mum.” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t know, I’m not making sense.”

Following her shout, her chest shook as she gasped for air, Sage sat still. A May breeze blew past her, seemingly waving to her. The beat of silence seemed to last forever. And somehow… It was the best remedy.

Her face remained clear of fresh tears, she knew Brook was right. Sage allowed the silence to continue for another minute before she exhaled shakily, waiting for another avalanche to befall her.

But there were none.

She was out of tears.

She was tired of fighting.

“I think… I think I’ll be okay.” She paused, wondering if it was possible for her to walk away from this so quickly. “I mean, not now. Not yet. But I will eventually. I just… I just needed a good scream, right? ”

There would be a break after this, a time for her to swallow the pill and find her new way of life. But until then… She had to collect herself off the ground and stop being haunted by any idea that her life could have gone differently.

“I wish there was a timeline for moving on. I wish we knew that in two months time, we could be halfway over whatever mountain we’ve been climbing. Like you could know when you could look forward to feeling better. I hate that this… suffering may not have an end. We could feel like this five months from now, or five years from now.”

She paused again, trying to make sense of the mess of thoughts swirling round her head. She turned to Brook, searched her friend’s face for any idea that she might understand whatever Sage was rambling about. She extended her hand, gently took Brook’s and gave it a squeeze.

“I don’t think hurt or pain or trauma, I guess, ever really go away. But I do look forward to the day where this is all just a distant memory, but I know that day exists for both of us. We just have to stop sitting in grief.”

We just have to stop sitting in grief.