closed Thoughts of a Lotus Pt2 Solo

"The flower that smells the sweetest is shy and lowly”- --------- William WoodsWorth Playing as Isadora Vilaca——

The grounds of Hogwarts were humid with a slight chill to the early morning air. Mist slowly hovered over the vast lake. The sweet melody of the morning birds rang throughout the grounds. While the vast school grounds seemed quiet and eerie throughout the grounds.

It was strange how quiet the grounds were, how calm the student body and professors seemed to react. As if the events from October had been erased from the student body minds along with the professors. It was odd as if nobody remembered the explosion that killed so many including some dearly beloved HeadMasters. Of course Hogwarts was a curse that’s what people thought many things happened at this cursed school but why? It may never be discovered.

Sitting close to the Great Lakes shore sat Isadora alone her auburn hair was pulled back in her signature ponytail while her light blue bandana was secured around her forehead. With a few wild flowers sticking out from the bandanna along with seashells dangling from the ends of the bandanna. The young girl had her beige leather satchel sitting beside her as she rested her arms at the top of her knees watching the still water ripple gently from the movement of the lake's creatures. The young girl's crystal blue eyes scanned the water for a while as she was lost in thought.

Her heart was pounding in her ears with each snap of a twig the young girl felt her body jump nervously watching her surroundings. The last time she had arrived at this school she wished it was peaceful and a grand experience, but instead. The young girl witnessed things that were not something she wished upon others. Though Isadora was lucky enough to have support from other students to escape the events from October she couldn’t help but remember the things that happened. Especially after what happened to her Tantie she had been injured in the fires burned and scarred thankfully she survived. Isadora was not sure how she would have handled losing someone so close to her like her Tantie.

As if she could still hear the explosions and the chaos that ensued that day Isadora shuddered, hugging her knees tighter. Her heart pounding in her ears feeling her anxiety heighten the school was something a trigger she supposed. A place that terrified her. The chaos for the attack to the girl was still unknown though rumor has it. That it was most likely an attack against the half-breeds if so that would mean others like Isadora those who were cursed by Lycanthropy but others as well. After all, why would anyone even dare attack Half-breeds for?

Letting out a shaky sigh Isadora continued to cling to her legs glancing downwards her crystal sea blue gaze caught sight of her leather bound journal. Her mind was still for a second as she thought quietly. Slowly Isadora sat up straight reaching down wrapping her frail thin fingers around the leather bound journal staring at the top of the journal gently tracing the cover as she pulled out a quill and some ink. Slowly after taking a shaky breath Isadora opened up the book flipping to an empty page. Her sea blue gaze stared down at the yellow pale pages as she tried to calm her nerves thinking of what she wanted to get off her chest. What to say? What to write? What to feel? Those were the thoughts in her mind. How does one feel about coming back to this dreaded school? How does one feel with unknown dangers? What are the proper things to feel?

Shakily Isadora dipped her quill into the pot of ink as she began to scribble onto the paper gently as she used her knees as a sturdy place to write.

Dear Diary,
It is April 10th, 2025 yet another day that feels troubling. Unlike others I have returned to Hogwarts for the second time and I must say it feels quite odd. Students seem cheery maybe because of the ball that is being held tomorrow as if the students and adults have forgotten about the incident that happened in October. How? I am uncertain. If they took some school wide potion to have forgotten maybe I should take it as well? But then again why forget something that changed everything? I wish I could forget. Forget the sounds from that day. It truly was agonizing. It seemed worse maybe because I am so sensitive to sounds now due to the curse. Yet this curse is one reason I should be concerned? Shouldn’t I? Half-breeds are unwanted; they are the types that purebloods wish to scrub away; even us cursed by Lycanthropy are lowly creatures to the wizarding world. Some would assume we’re lower than Muggleborns because of how the curse can be transmitted. Of course the wolfsbane potion helps us to stay more stable and taken care of but the outcomes can still vary. But yet why is this school so cheerful and exciting? Did everyone truly forget?

Isadora sighed shakily, staring at the page in front of her. Her right hand shook slightly as gulped slightly her mind seemed to spin around as her ears continued to ring her palms slowly felt sweaty as she took shallow breaths to calm her heart rate down slowly she brought her quill back to the yellow pale Phes of journal as she seemed to ease her nerves slightly.

Hogwarts. I have heard stories from Tantie about this place before the accident. But it went from a place of possibility and grace to a place full of regret and fear. A place where anything could happen. Though I must admit being back at Hogwarts for a second time is not entirely awful. Strange though the air seems more lively and enthusiastic. While others still seem slightly on edge. As if they remember the incident from the last visit. But how can anyone truly forget that? But enough of those dreary thoughts. The ball is tomorrow. That should be a fine time to have fun, hopefully mingle, make friends? Of course friends are a hard thing to come by honestly. Maybe it is just me? I can’t seem to get the courage to speak to others. As if the curse I hold inside keeps me chained in my mind. Afraid to make friends, afraid to get close to someone, afraid I may harm them? Fear is that all I really know now? Fear and anxiety. My mind is always screaming, running with these thoughts as if at any moment I could turn into this bloodthirsty monster and go rampant. Of course thankfully as long as I keep taking the wolfsbane potion near the full moon I will be fine. Others will be fine. But still that fear that thought in the back of my mind that seems to whisper how I am a monster how I should stay hidden and hide not be seen. It seems to scream louder closer and closer the full moon gains closer as if it knows things I do not. But the best I can do is ignore this voice and ignore it the best I can. After all it is nothing but there to taunt me and tempt me. I am not a monster. The curse maybe but I am not. Right? Am I a monster? Am I truly a danger? Who am I?

Isadora stopped writing, her crystal blue eyes gazing down at the journal, her heart racing, her mind spinning. Was she truly a monster? No, it was impossible. She was a girl student, a good daughter, a good niece, and a cousin . She tried hard to be good and yet these thoughts were as if she truly was a monster. She did not understand why she felt this way, why she felt like a monster and yet here she was pouring her heart into a journal. Letting out a shaky sigh Isadora closed her journal quickly shoving it back into her satchel along with her quill and ink.

Feeling her body tremble slightly Isadora felt a sob break through her throat as tears streamed down her tan golden skin. Clinging to her knees Isadora felt the sobs racking over her body as she clung tightly trying to drown out her thoughts. She knew they were not true deep down she knew she was not a monster and yet here she was sobbing in fear of what she is. Who she is.

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wc: 1454 tag: @n/a ──────────────

notes: Date: April 10th, 2025 ────────────── ──────────────

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