Confessions PV Alyssea Brown

date tuesday, february 11^th, 2025 / pings @Landon Matthews
thank you raizel for the banner!

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	Yesterday, after the crazy rush that was Duelling Championships, Alyssea wrote letters for as many friends as she could. Why? Tomorrow, Alyssea will leave for Beauxbatons, leaving her no time to write more letters before Valentine's Day. Tonight, she had to finish packing her suitcase for a week-long stay in France. Despite the exhaustion that usually settled in her bones after a sports season, Alyssea was feeling refreshed, invigorated, and confident. She was on track to productivity and it would stay like that. Now that most sports concluded for the season, Alyssea could afford some divergence to her schedule. Truthfully, when a letter from her best friend asked her to go to one of her favourite rooms in the castle, she didn't know what to expect. Landon couldn't have found out about the letter she wrote him yesterday, did he? Those were secret until they were to be distributed. Did Alyssea do anything to wrong him? Unlikely. The uncertainty of what was to come did not lighten her footsteps up to the Fourth Floor. When she arrived, Alyssea pressed an ear to the door as she always did to check if anyone was inside. Most days, like these, there was little to hear. So, Alyssea turned the knob and walked in. The last time Alyssea had been given flowers, it was compensation for taking away her dance partner at the Mistletoe Spin. They were white roses, from memory. Young love, loyalty, and new beginnings. No one had ever asked but her favourite was yellow carnations. Alyssea looked behind her to check the door had closed and then slowly approached the center of the room. "Hey," she said as casually as possible, trying to hide the underlying anxiety beneath her skin. "What did you need?"
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Outfit: Here | CC: #1f5cc6 | Words: 366 | Graphic by Ulysses Drake
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Landon stood up straight as he waited for his friend to come to the rehearsal room. He remembered how he had once danced with her here in this room and smiled softly. He liked dancing, even when people were just his friends, and he didn't mind taking time to dance with someone he cared about. He had learned to dance for his little sister and enjoyed it. Landon hummed softly under his breath as he waited, remembering the dance he had with Alyssea.

Landon had never felt this way about someone else before. He had never had crushes or anything like that. But after growing close to Alyssea, he had felt something deeper than just friendship for her. He didn't know how she would receive this information, but he felt confident (whether the potion was the reason for this confidence or not) that Alyssea wouldn't just drop him as a friend if she didn't feel the same way about him. He didn't necessarily feel confident that she would feel the same, but he did know that she was a good friend and that things would be okay. It was only until later that he would probably feel negative about this whole experience.

Landon smiled widely as Alyssea came into the room, happy to see her. He didn't notice her anxiety, but he did notice that she wasn't as excited to see him as he was to see her. He cleared his throat and brought the flowers out from behind himself. They were an assortment of gerbera daisies in several colors including pink, yellow, and orange, that, somehow, didn't clash with itself. Landon hadn't really put a lot of thought into what flowers he wanted to conjure, but Alyssea did make him think of bright, happy colors.

He held the flowers out to Alyssea and smiled fondly. "These are for you," he said. Landon was the type of person who would give flowers to friends too, so it didn't necessarily mean anything... but this time it did. He smiled, his blue eyes friendly. "I just wanted to talk to you about something," he said. "Nothing bad, I don't think anyway..." he didn't want her to feel anxious.

date tuesday, february 11^th, 2025 / pings @Landon Matthews
thank you raizel for the banner!

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	"Oh," Alyssea let out a breath as she took the flowers. Unlike the white roses, these were colourful, from a light baby pink to a deep but bright orange. They reminded her a little of the flowers she would get from her parents after a show, after mentioning to them that the older kids would get bouquets from their friends and family. She took a sniff out of instinct, eyes lighting up with the familiar scent of freshly cut plants. "They're beautiful, thank you." Her roommates would, no doubt, wonder where she'd gotten the flowers from. The younger ones, like Camilla and Irina, would probably bother her until she told them everything. They would all appreciate the added colour in their dorm, though, irregardless of how quickly these would die and end up in the trash by the week's end. Maybe they could somehow preserve the flowers, though Alyssea wasn't really willing to give up any book to press a flower and ultimately ruin the text. Alyssea hummed. She shuffled the bouquet in her hand so that it opened her face up to Landon, careful not to jostle the flowers and ruin them. "Sure." She tilted her head. "Is everything alright?"
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Outfit: Here | CC: #1f5cc6 | Words: 401 | Graphic by Ulysses Drake
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Landon smiled widely as Alyssea took the flowers from him, his eyes sparkling. He was always happy to give gifts, though not very good at it, and it made him glad that she seemed to like them. He watched as she sniffed the flowers, the smile on his face relaxing just slightly as he watched her. "You're very welcome," he said. "I conjured them myself," he explained. "It's not as nice as knowing someone picked them by hand, but at least I did something, you know?"

Landon didn't feel the usual nervousness that welled up inside him when he had to talk about things like feelings. This was probably due to the potion, though Landon wasn't aware of that difference. He felt calm and confident in a way that he rarely felt. Even when he was practicing for Quidditch, he still felt a little nervous because he was scared to let the team down, but that had gotten much less stressful for him as he adjusted and grew in his skills.

Still, talking about feelings was hard sometimes, but Landon was going to do it. He nodded quickly as Alyssea asked him if everything was alright. "Oh, yes, I think so," he answered. "I just wanted to tell you something and you can do with it what you wish." Landon took a step closer to her, but still kept himself from being too uncomfortably close, before tucking his hands into his pants' pockets. "I have been feeling something new and I wanted to talk to you about it. You mean an awful lot to me, more than I thought possible. I have never had crushes or things like that before, which I know is somewhat rare for people to make it to nearly fourteen years old without having a crush. I don't even know what a crush feels like. But I do know that I care deeply for you, Alyssea. I like spending time with you and always want to be your friend, but I also wanted you to know that those feelings have become something a bit deeper than expected," he explained, looking her in the eyes confidently.

Landon didn't necessarily feel confident in her feelings, but he did feel confident in what he was saying. This was a bit out of character for him, being this forward, but he had said it and he couldn't take it back now.

date tuesday, february 11^th, 2025 / pings @Landon Matthews
thank you raizel for the banner!

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	"Oh." Was all Alyssea could say to that. It was dumb, but she found herself at a loss for words. A crush? Alyssea hadn't thought about that kind of thing since... Well, she didn't want to think about that now. She shook her head. With everything that happened in the last few months and with everything that will happen in just a few days, it hadn't even crossed her mind that something like this could happen. How was she supposed to respond? All of the plays she'd ever done always ended with the boy getting the girl. There would be an argument sometimes, with a loud declaration of love. Then, maybe a dramatic kiss. But this was different. This was quiet, almost a whisper. When she looked at Landon, she only held the flowers closer to her chest. She didn't want this. She didn't feel it yet, but she knew letting a good thing go was going to hurt. Alyssea took a deep breath. "I care about you a lot, too, Landon," she said slowly, thinking over her words each time. "Our friendship means a lot to me, and I'm really grateful to know someone who has the same interests as me. It makes me feel less weird about saying history is my favourite class." "But—" And it was always the dreaded 'but'— "I can't say that I see you in the same way you see me. I'm sorry." Perhaps, if things had been different, she could've let herself have this. "I know we don't hang out that much already because I'm always so busy with sports and studies, but having a friend like you always reminds me that I can be someone outside of what I do." She smiled, because it was true. When was the last time someone approached her for the sake of it, rather than for business matters? She loved sports, of course, but doing it every day took the fun out of it. Or maybe she missed the companionship Quidditch once offered. She had left him first, but he never let go. "Thank you." Was there more to be said? When the silence hung too long, she added, "I would like to still be your friend, if you'll let me. I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us." The flowers suddenly felt heavy in her hands. But to drop them would be too harsh.
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Outfit: Here | CC: #1f5cc6 | Words: 401 | Graphic by Ulysses Drake
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Landon felt a little relieved. Now the weight of the secret he had been keeping was off his shoulders. He wasn't sure if anything would change between Alyssea and himself, but at least he was honest and he explained his feelings. He wasn't sure how to define his feelings exactly, but it seemed that he had managed to make those confusing feelings known. The potion he had drank had led him to believe this was the smartest course of action.

Landon offered a small smile as Alyssea said "oh" in response to his words. He didn't know what that meant, but he chose to take it as a positive, at least for this moment anyway. He waited for Alyssea to speak, not sure how to react while he waited, but he wanted to let her speak her mind. She said their friendship meant a lot to her and he grinned happily, though if he were in his right mind, he'd be focused on the friendship part of the sentence. He was still under the effects of the potion.

Landon took a deep breath as she told him she didn't feel the same way about him. "That's okay," he said, still smiling as he looked at her. He didn't feel the hurt that a person would typically feel right away. Perhaps later, this would be awkward for Landon, but right now, he didn't feel the normal embarrassment that he would feel later. "I don't expect you to feel the same," he said with a shrug.

"You don't have to feel bad for being so busy, as long as you enjoy what you do," he said. He worried sometimes that Alyssea pushed herself too hard, but he was also a little sad that she had left Quidditch. It had been a while, sure, but Landon still missed having a close friend on the team with him. He hummed as she thanked him, smiling softly. "You're welcome," he said.

There was an awkward silence between them for a little while before Alyssea spoke again. He listened and nodded. "Well, it might make things awkward, but I still want to be your friend," he agreed. He would be a little lost if he lost Alyssea in his life. Landon looked at Alyssea, his blue eyes soft. "Keep the flowers," he said. "They were for you whether or not you felt the same way about me."

date tuesday, february 11^th, 2025 / pings @Landon Matthews
thank you raizel for the banner!

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	Once the potion had worn off, Alyssea knew she would feel so badly about this. Now, she nodded appreciatively. But in the next few days, she knew she would reflect on this and pretend she didn't say half the things she said. To pretend she had feelings for his sake would not be fair on either of them, though. There would be a point where the lie was no longer plausible, and wouldn't that be more painful to realize than just admitting to the truth now? That was the thing with the truth; it could be both your undoing and your salvation. Alyssea shifted slightly, still aware of the flowers in her grasp. "Thank you." There was a lot to be thankful for. The flowers, the understanding, the companionship. It would take some time to go back to what they were before (though, was it even possible to do so?), but Alyssea wanted to believe that they could. Was there more to say? Alyssea turned to the door before turning back. "Well, I do need to go." It wasn't an excuse to leave, though it could be interpreted as such. But Alyssea really did need to go. "You know, the Beauxbatons trip for Valentine's... I haven't had the time to pack my bags yet, so I was going to do it tonight." Beauxbatons. That was the school she could've ended up in if she presented her first instance of magic while her family still lived in France. In a way, she was excited to be there, excited to see what could've been. People always talked about France as a beautiful place, and Beauxbatons (surely) had to be no different. Alyssea nodded. "I'll see you around, okay?" And with that, she stepped towards the door.
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Outfit: Here | CC: #1f5cc6 | Words: 208 | Graphic by Ulysses Drake
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Landon looked at Alyssea with a hopeful expression. He wasn't really thinking that this would work out to be awkward or anything because of the potion in his system, but he was sure that her answer was going to stay a negative. When the potion wore off, he'd probably feel very depressed about the whole thing, but right now, he accepted it without complaint. He was glad that she liked the flowers, even if her reaction to his confession didn't work out in his favor.

"I hope you like the flowers," he said quietly. "I mean, if anything is taken from this moment, I hope it's gratefulness for the flowers." He didn't care too much about the rest of it, at least not yet.

He looked at Alyssea as she turned toward the door. Everything felt so awkward but Landon wasn't dwelling on it. Maybe it was thanks to the potion. "Oh right," he said when she stated she was going to Beauxbatons for Valentine's Day. "I didn't sign up for that trip, but I hope you have fun," he said genuinely.

Landon stood up as Alyssea headed toward the door, clearing his throat. "Allow me," he said softly and held open the door for her to leave.