OOC Come be Comforted! <3

Adeline Spinks wrote: 19 Mar 2025, 19:44 Never posted here, but could use a little vent and maybe some positivity.
Life has been extremely hectic and overwhelming lately, I am experiencing dramatic decline of a family member and I'm really feeling the weight of it. This will be my first time saying goodbye to someone so influential to my life, and it doesn't feel possible to imagine my life without them.
Hug your loved ones and cherish the time you have with them for me today, life is truly fleeting.
Have a good day, everyone. Stay safe and take care of yourself

I know exactly how it feels to say goodbye to someone you’re close to. I almost lost a family member very close to me about a month ago. Luckily he is okay now, but not knowing if he would be okay or not was really hard. If you ever need someone that will listen, my owls are always open.

Tracey Bailey wrote: 11 Mar 2025, 13:50

Thank you all for your prayers, but unfortunately, my grandfather had passed

I'm late but I'm truly sorry for your loss, Tracey. It must be difficult for you as well as your family. I hope you're doing well now. Your grandfather would be proud of having you as his granddaughter. Sending you hugs

Adeline Spinks wrote: 19 Mar 2025, 19:44 Never posted here, but could use a little vent and maybe some positivity.
Life has been extremely hectic and overwhelming lately, I am experiencing dramatic decline of a family member and I'm really feeling the weight of it. This will be my first time saying goodbye to someone so influential to my life, and it doesn't feel possible to imagine my life without them.
Hug your loved ones and cherish the time you have with them for me today, life is truly fleeting.
Have a good day, everyone. Stay safe and take care of yourself

Losing someone so important is incredibly overwhelming and hard and it's ok to feel that way. I'm so sorry you're going through all this Adeline. I'm here if you ever want to talk about it. Take care

Does anyone have any tips on how to heal from a friendship ended without getting closure from the other person?

For context, I have apologized a few times to the person over the course of around a year, hoping that the other person would at least acknowledge that it wasn’t completely my fault (although a large part of it was). If I didn’t respect the person’s boundaries, I would have sent many more apologies than I have already (Unhealthy, I know). I wish that we could both work towards a better end than we currently have, which is unfair and unrealistic.

I’ve tried telling myself that they don’t matter, acknowledge that it’s okay to be hurt, everything I can think of. Now, I’m going to see if any of you have some tips or advice. Thanks for reading

1. Acknowledge Your Effort: You reached out, you apologized, and you tried to take accountability. That takes courage. Healing starts with knowing you did and attempting to make things right within healthy boundaries. Sometimes people aren't in a place to receive that, and that's not a reflection of anyone's worth.

2. Shift Closure Inward: It’s hard when someone won’t give you closure, but they are not obligated to provide closure. That does not mean that you cannot begin to create your own. Ask yourself: What have I learned? What do I want to carry forward? Closure can be about self-understanding rather than mutual agreement.

3. Grieve the Loss Fully: Even if a friendship did not end the way you hoped, your feelings are real and valid. Regardless of blame, emotions cannot be controlled or chosen. It is okay to mourn what you hoped your friendship would be. Don’t rush yourself to "get over it" - healing isn’t linear.

4. Protect Your Peace: It’s clear you care deeply, but continuing to reach out (even just mentally) can reopen the wound. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to let go - even without resolution.

5. Channel It Into Growth: Friendships, even the painful ones, teach us so much. Ask yourself: What you want in future connections? What boundaries can you better protect? How can this hurt help you evolve?

6. The Illusion of Closure: Closure is often romanticized as something external, something the other person gives us. In truth, closure is internally generated, and pursuing it externally can keep someone emotionally tethered to a situation that no longer serves them. Ask yourself: is seeking closure really about understanding the situation, or is it about hoping the other person validates your version of the story? If the relationship is terminated, your time is better spent on understanding your part in the situation rather than theirs. Re-assess your involvement, lack thereof, or stance. Consider what could have been done better. Forgive yourself. Move on.

7. Apology vs. Accountability Loop: Repeated apologies over an extended period may move from healthy remorse to a pattern of emotional self-flagellation. It can indicate a struggle with self-forgiveness rather than a true need to repair. Consider: What is your role in the guilt here? Are you seeking to fix something, or to relieve your emotional burden? It is OK to feel guilty but forgiveness is a choice. The other person does not need to forgive you. You can still be sorry for the role you played, their forgiveness is part of their healing, not yours.

8. Boundaries and Obsession: There was acknowledgment that you could have sent "many more apologies" if you hadn’t been respecting the other’s boundaries. This shows self-awareness, but also hints at a potential emotional obsession with “fixing” things - a form of rumination. Consider: When does remorse cross into self-punishment? How do we distinguish empathy from emotional fixation?

9. Shared Responsibility vs. Narrative Ownership: There was a statement about wanting the other person to acknowledge it wasn't completely your fault. This suggests a need for shared responsibility, which is valid, but it also points to a desire to control the narrative, a common emotional impulse during unresolved conflict. Narratives are always shared and each side will be skewed by perception. Consider how you can cope when the other person refuses to see or admit to your version of the story. Please remember, from their perspective they might not see what you see. Your experience is unique and so is theirs.

10. The Desire for a "Better Ending": Wanting a “better end” is very human, but is also shaped by cultural, religious and media narratives that idealize reconciliation with preconceived notions of what that looks like. In reality, some relationships end messily, and healing often comes from accepting that imperfection. Consider if you can find peace without resolution. Sometimes a story ends in silence and that is OK.

For the sake of proper citation: I wrote the suggestions and then had Chat GPT format this because it was a 2k post.

Sometimes we feel lonely even when there are a lot of people around us, and when we look around, we can’t actually see anyone. If there’s no one who truly comforts us, we can end up feeling stuck. Maybe it’s just a lack of self-confidence, or maybe it’s simply how we feel in that moment.
But no matter how lonely you feel, you still have yourself. Your lungs that let you breathe, your heart that constantly works for you, and everything else within you.
You are already working so hard for yourself—just pause for a moment and take a deep breath.
Relax.
And then you’ll see… you are not alone.

A text made more fluent by artificial intelligence, but these are all my thoughts! I believe in you!

i see this thread hasn't been used in a while and i hoped i wouldn't need it but I do.

like 30 mins ago my mum comes home and she asks me how school was and how my kinda bsf is and i say we haven't been talking much lately because she's friends with people that don't like me so im left to be alone on breaks n lunch at school quite a lot and im not saying she can't have other friends at all its just i wish she'd tell me earlier so i could find someone else to hang out with instead of being a cliché and siting in a bathroom cubicle eating my lunch. my mum starts saying how's she's going to message my kinda bsf to figure out whats going on and I say no and that I'll sort it out myself because my mum has a habit of getting involved and making things worse. i just walk away because I know I'm going to get so angry at her because I have like minor anger issues and i just go to my room and I have legit start balling my eyes out over something that's not that crazy and then she comes in and I just tell her to leave me alone and she refused to leave my room until I listened so I listen. Then she starts going through my stuff to find my iron tablets because I have low iron but I've been on them for a year snd they haven't helped me at all and she starts having a go at me for not taking them when she knew I don't take them and she refuses to leave my room unless I take a tablet and so I say no and i eventually take one so I can have a minute to relax and she comes in like 5 mins later with my washing acting like nothing happened. I just wanna know if I was being over dramatic ❤ it just became one of the AITA things

Evangeline Lynn wrote: 2 Jun 2025, 20:40 i see this thread hasn't been used in a while and i hoped i wouldn't need it but I do.

like 30 mins ago my mum comes home and she asks me how school was and how my kinda bsf is and i say we haven't been talking much lately because she's friends with people that don't like me so im left to be alone on breaks n lunch at school quite a lot and im not saying she can't have other friends at all its just i wish she'd tell me earlier so i could find someone else to hang out with instead of being a cliché and siting in a bathroom cubicle eating my lunch. my mum starts saying how's she's going to message my kinda bsf to figure out whats going on and I say no and that I'll sort it out myself because my mum has a habit of getting involved and making things worse. i just walk away because I know I'm going to get so angry at her because I have like minor anger issues and i just go to my room and I have legit start balling my eyes out over something that's not that crazy and then she comes in and I just tell her to leave me alone and she refused to leave my room until I listened so I listen. Then she starts going through my stuff to find my iron tablets because I have low iron but I've been on them for a year snd they haven't helped me at all and she starts having a go at me for not taking them when she knew I don't take them and she refuses to leave my room unless I take a tablet and so I say no and i eventually take one so I can have a minute to relax and she comes in like 5 mins later with my washing acting like nothing happened. I just wanna know if I was being over dramatic ❤ it just became one of the AITA things

I know that exact feeling of your bsf pushing you away. It actually happened to me nearly 3 years ago. Back then she started hanging out with the older girls that I knew weren’t good people, so I kept my distance. She was going through a rough patch with a family member, so I was always there for her even though she pushed me away a little. I gave her space, and that summer she switched to another school. Since then, even though we’re from different schools now, we’re just as close as we were. Sometimes things just take time. My owls are always open if you need someone to rant to.

@Avery Gray im so sorry that you went through that with your bsf but im glad you guys are good now. with my bsf i think we're just too different to be as close as we could. we have really different personalities and i love her shes so sweet but i just don't think we make a good pair bit oh well. thank you so so so much for replying ❤

I'm sorry to hear that. I went through something similar, but of course, everyone experiences and feels things differently.
When it comes to your friend, sometimes people hurt us without meaning to, and maybe you can talk to them about it.
But sometimes it's intentional too. You just need to find the courage to talk to them. I'm doubtful they'll say something to hurt you.
Sometimes people just want honesty.

As for your mom, parents often tend to act that way. They usually think they're just trying to help.
But it definitely doesn’t feel that way, and even if you try to explain it to them, some parents still don’t get it.
She bothers you about taking your medication because she thinks she’s protecting you.

It might seem like she doesn’t care about your opinions, but maybe she just thinks you don’t fully understand the situation.

That’s how families can be, being adults makes them believe they’re automatically responsible for everything, and sometimes they forget that we can take care of ourselves too.

You’re not being overly dramatic at all. Honestly, I don’t really like it when moms act that way either.
But you need to help her understand you. Show her that you understand her too, that you know she’s trying to protect you,
and that you understand how heavy it must be to raise a child just make sure she knows you want her to understand you as well.

I hope things get better soon!