Come be Comforted! <3
I'm not really sure if this is the place to say this, but I sort of want opinions, and since I can't tell the people I know, who better than a bunch of random strangers on the internet?
I have a friend. And without getting too deep into it, her older brother was recently admitted to a mental hospital. I am the only one she has told.
Visitation is on Saturdays, but my friend isn't old enough to go with the rest of her family, so instead she ends up just at home sad. She has asked me a couple of times to come over, as she needs to get out. Not so much of her house, but out of her thoughts, if that makes sense. She wants to be distracted during those times. So lately I've been trying to get her out. To see Wicked, to go skating, we watched HP the other day. (our plan was 2x speed and backward). And she seems thankful, I suppose.
But none of my other friends I see every week. At some point, I can't ask if they want to do something all the time. So in my quest to be a decent friend, I wonder if asking that often isn't good either? I'm really just unsure because my friend isn't the type to say no if she doesn't want to do something.
To summarize, I'm trying to help my friend, but I'm not actually sure if it's helping? Or helping too much? I really just don't know.
I have a friend. And without getting too deep into it, her older brother was recently admitted to a mental hospital. I am the only one she has told.
Visitation is on Saturdays, but my friend isn't old enough to go with the rest of her family, so instead she ends up just at home sad. She has asked me a couple of times to come over, as she needs to get out. Not so much of her house, but out of her thoughts, if that makes sense. She wants to be distracted during those times. So lately I've been trying to get her out. To see Wicked, to go skating, we watched HP the other day. (our plan was 2x speed and backward). And she seems thankful, I suppose.
But none of my other friends I see every week. At some point, I can't ask if they want to do something all the time. So in my quest to be a decent friend, I wonder if asking that often isn't good either? I'm really just unsure because my friend isn't the type to say no if she doesn't want to do something.
To summarize, I'm trying to help my friend, but I'm not actually sure if it's helping? Or helping too much? I really just don't know.
Avis Marlong | ”She won't cry or beg for help...she'll isolate from the world and fight her own demons so that nobody can throw it in her face later.” |
"The odds of hitting your target increase dramatically when you aim at it." Benji Marecos |
Come be Comforted! <3
I personally believe in moderation in all things. From the sound of things, you also do not want to be doing something every weekend with them and this does not make you a bad person for the record.
I generally suggest getting them involved in places where you are not their everything. This could be online gaming, communities like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy for example have guilds and this sort of community activity might break things up for them. Much like you have here.
If they ask, yes of course, spend time with them.
And it is fine to sometimes offer things too, but it might be OK with skip a day here and there. Supplement this with a phone call or a text message.
I generally suggest getting them involved in places where you are not their everything. This could be online gaming, communities like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy for example have guilds and this sort of community activity might break things up for them. Much like you have here.
If they ask, yes of course, spend time with them.
And it is fine to sometimes offer things too, but it might be OK with skip a day here and there. Supplement this with a phone call or a text message.
There is something about ambition, how it not only propels you but also defines you.
Come be Comforted! <3
First, Kudos to you for being there for your friend - and for reaching out and putting that post into words; it's an understandably tricky position to find yourself in. I’m going to preface this by saying I am by no means a mental health professional, just someone who has experience with that sort of problem.
As someone who's experienced a lot of uncomfortable domestic situations and has had friends who also didn't feel safe or want to be at home or with themselves, this hits close for me. I've been on both sides of the coin; that confusion is so valid - no matter what we do to help, you’ll never be able to read someone's mind.
Whilst I do not know your friend, having someone there for me helped keep me afloat when I was struggling. Even if I wasn't a great friend during those times, I was grateful for them. Likewise, the people I was there for were glad to have a distraction, a listening ear - company. That said, when we’re offering support, you can’t well help someone if you’re overwhelmed yourself. Your post to me reads like you might feel like you're carrying the brunt of your friend’s mental well-being in some capacity, which can become unhealthy later. It is a big task to take that all on yourself.
Consider helping your friend broaden her support system; I get the impression you’re both on the younger side, which likely means reaching out to an adult (if you are one, another one, lol) for help or maybe including some other friends in the mix. You don't necessarily have to tell them about her situation, either. You could also suggest weekend activities she could do independently. Reaching out for more help can feel awkward and uncomfortable- especially in your friend’s case, her parents might seem preoccupied. Other trusted adults like teachers, guidance counsellors, and maybe your parent(s)/guardian (s) could be a good place to turn to.
Remember that your well-being is important, too. Lear made a pertinent point about moderation. Your boundaries are important; listen to yourself if you need a break. It's okay to spend time alone or with someone else on a Saturday if that's what you want. Regarding how you could help your friend while you are with them, however, I’ve attached some sources below this post about being there for someone going through it, which I’ve found personally quite helpful.
You’re doing fantastic! Be kind to yourself.
Sources (approved by a mod on Discord to post):
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore ... th-problem
https://childmind.org/article/support-f ... hallenges/
As someone who's experienced a lot of uncomfortable domestic situations and has had friends who also didn't feel safe or want to be at home or with themselves, this hits close for me. I've been on both sides of the coin; that confusion is so valid - no matter what we do to help, you’ll never be able to read someone's mind.
Whilst I do not know your friend, having someone there for me helped keep me afloat when I was struggling. Even if I wasn't a great friend during those times, I was grateful for them. Likewise, the people I was there for were glad to have a distraction, a listening ear - company. That said, when we’re offering support, you can’t well help someone if you’re overwhelmed yourself. Your post to me reads like you might feel like you're carrying the brunt of your friend’s mental well-being in some capacity, which can become unhealthy later. It is a big task to take that all on yourself.
Consider helping your friend broaden her support system; I get the impression you’re both on the younger side, which likely means reaching out to an adult (if you are one, another one, lol) for help or maybe including some other friends in the mix. You don't necessarily have to tell them about her situation, either. You could also suggest weekend activities she could do independently. Reaching out for more help can feel awkward and uncomfortable- especially in your friend’s case, her parents might seem preoccupied. Other trusted adults like teachers, guidance counsellors, and maybe your parent(s)/guardian (s) could be a good place to turn to.
Remember that your well-being is important, too. Lear made a pertinent point about moderation. Your boundaries are important; listen to yourself if you need a break. It's okay to spend time alone or with someone else on a Saturday if that's what you want. Regarding how you could help your friend while you are with them, however, I’ve attached some sources below this post about being there for someone going through it, which I’ve found personally quite helpful.
You’re doing fantastic! Be kind to yourself.
Sources (approved by a mod on Discord to post):
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore ... th-problem
https://childmind.org/article/support-f ... hallenges/
Come be Comforted! <3
Hey guys. I normally don't post things that need to be prayed over, but I really need prayer right now. A lot of my friends on here know that there's been a lot of family problems happening lately for me. For the past few weeks, things have been better and it's actually been peaceful. But, today, things took a turn for the worst.
I will call this person my family member instead of his actual relation to me for privacy purposes. But today I just found out that this family member of mine might be having liver failure. So far, it looks like he has given up, and he doesn't want to live anymore, so it's pretty sad. I'm pretty close to this person, so this is quite hard news to hear.
On top of that, another family member that I'm not only close to, but he is like a brother to me (he isn't my brother) and a friend are both going through some depression. They are both starting therapy, so they should be okay, but it's my other family member that really needs prayer.
I will call this person my family member instead of his actual relation to me for privacy purposes. But today I just found out that this family member of mine might be having liver failure. So far, it looks like he has given up, and he doesn't want to live anymore, so it's pretty sad. I'm pretty close to this person, so this is quite hard news to hear.
On top of that, another family member that I'm not only close to, but he is like a brother to me (he isn't my brother) and a friend are both going through some depression. They are both starting therapy, so they should be okay, but it's my other family member that really needs prayer.
Be the change you wish to see |
||
in the world. |
Come be Comforted! <3
Of course Avery!Avery Gray wrote: 5 Feb 2025, 22:17 Hey guys. I normally don't post things that need to be prayed over, but I really need prayer right now. A lot of my friends on here know that there's been a lot of family problems happening lately for me. For the past few weeks, things have been better and it's actually been peaceful. But, today, things took a turn for the worst.
I will call this person my family member instead of his actual relation to me for privacy purposes. But today I just found out that this family member of mine might be having liver failure. So far, it looks like he has given up, and he doesn't want to live anymore, so it's pretty sad. I'm pretty close to this person, so this is quite hard news to hear.
On top of that, another family member that I'm not only close to, but he is like a brother to me (he isn't my brother) and a friend are both going through some depression. They are both starting therapy, so they should be okay, but it's my other family member that really needs prayer.
Keep your mind in hell; and don't despair.
Cursa McCoire
Rigel McCoire
Come be Comforted! <3
Praying for you nowAvery Gray wrote: 5 Feb 2025, 22:17 Hey guys. I normally don't post things that need to be prayed over, but I really need prayer right now. A lot of my friends on here know that there's been a lot of family problems happening lately for me. For the past few weeks, things have been better and it's actually been peaceful. But, today, things took a turn for the worst.
I will call this person my family member instead of his actual relation to me for privacy purposes. But today I just found out that this family member of mine might be having liver failure. So far, it looks like he has given up, and he doesn't want to live anymore, so it's pretty sad. I'm pretty close to this person, so this is quite hard news to hear.
On top of that, another family member that I'm not only close to, but he is like a brother to me (he isn't my brother) and a friend are both going through some depression. They are both starting therapy, so they should be okay, but it's my other family member that really needs prayer.
Avis Marlong | ”She won't cry or beg for help...she'll isolate from the world and fight her own demons so that nobody can throw it in her face later.” |
"The odds of hitting your target increase dramatically when you aim at it." Benji Marecos |
Come be Comforted! <3
Sending prayers 
we are all born beautiful. it is a tragedy we are convinced that we are not”
iNPC: Lloyd Matthews Thomas
Main account: Bailey Glade
Come be Comforted! <3
[quote]Sending prayers for you and your family, Av 
Come be Comforted! <3
The girl I think of whenever someone asks me who my best friend is like hates me now for no reason. Thats it 
I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all that you will be
ipnc- ruby angelique
Come be Comforted! <3
Praying for you and your family Av! I'm so sorry you have to go through thisAvery Gray wrote: 5 Feb 2025, 22:17 Hey guys. I normally don't post things that need to be prayed over, but I really need prayer right now. A lot of my friends on here know that there's been a lot of family problems happening lately for me. For the past few weeks, things have been better and it's actually been peaceful. But, today, things took a turn for the worst.
I will call this person my family member instead of his actual relation to me for privacy purposes. But today I just found out that this family member of mine might be having liver failure. So far, it looks like he has given up, and he doesn't want to live anymore, so it's pretty sad. I'm pretty close to this person, so this is quite hard news to hear.
On top of that, another family member that I'm not only close to, but he is like a brother to me (he isn't my brother) and a friend are both going through some depression. They are both starting therapy, so they should be okay, but it's my other family member that really needs prayer.
Oh Kie, I'm so sorry! I entirely understand how you feel, the same has happened to me too in the past. You don't deserve that, remember that there are many people in the world who are smart enough to be your friend!Kiera Roseline wrote: 6 Feb 2025, 05:50 The girl I think of whenever someone asks me who my best friend is like hates me now for no reason. Thats it
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