Bad Advice

Stick your cat in with the fish, of course! Then you'd be fulfilling the "prophecy" stated by that peer.

I'm afraid that I keep forgetting my papers. I tend to leave them in classrooms with no way to retrieve them. I require some advice to fix this.

Use some arcane method! A knife would work! It's definitely not dangerous!

I have a problem with left eyes; I keep destroying the vision of characters in that eye. What should I do to fix that? I tried to write eye instead of I in the last sentence.

Simply compensate for your apparent obsession with depriving your characters of full optic enjoyment by giving them every other possible disadvantage you can think of- missing limbs, deafness, insufferable stupidity, for example. That way, you'll have enough to focus on that you won't even think about that dratted left eye.

I tend to get a bit emotional when I write. How am I to combat this?

Don't write! Then you'll have nothing to get emotional about!

I tend to go over deadlines, and I hate it, but normally it's on a writing project and I hate it when those are incomplete. How should I fix this?

Don't allow yourself to be limited by deadlines. Just ignore them and let your creativity flow. Never declare any project done, because that will effectively end all opportunity to improve upon it!

My cat just loves to step on my keyboard, lay on my arms, etc. This tends to cause difficulties when I'm on the computer. How do you suggest I improve my situation?

Interrogate the girl in front of your parents while she's tied to a chair!

My brother is a clingy little brat who can always get my mom to do anything for him. It wouldn't be that bad, but he always makes such a big deal out of it and disturbs everyone. How do I get him to just stop?

Unfriend her! Then she'll have no reason to see anyone in your famly.

I tend to not go to sleep at the time I'm supposed to, and when I get caught I always get horrible reprecussions. How do I fix that?

Blast the music as loud as you can without them until someone buys you a new pair to stop the noise.

I always end up with broken things. How do I stop this from happening?

Steal from your mother and give her no choice but to get new stuff.

Dress code is so annoying. Most of the things I own don’t fit the criteria. What would be a solution?

Keep your sister in there till she gets bored and never wants to pull that stunt again.

My brother is obsessed with turtles and won’t shut up about them. How can I fix this?