It Cannot Be An Error
RPing as Cyrus Alexander Darsel (Ilvermorny iNPC)
The 'fit: A white polo and khakis, paired with brown loafers — something surprisingly normal for Cyrus.
He couldn't get the smell out of his nose.
It followed him everywhere — the pungent, sickly-sweet meaty odour, as if it were stuck in a cloud around his head, something he couldn't get away from. He hated being indoors now, as that only made it worse. He had to get away, except the couldn't, not from the stupid, stupid smell.
Cyrus roamed the great outdoors, no longer encompassed by the childlike sense of wonder that used to never leave him. His blue eyes scanned his surroundings, darting back and forth as if he expected something to come out of nowhere. He kept rubbing at his nose, although he now made a conscious effort to stop himself doing it once he realised he was doing it, since he had given himself a nosebleed just earlier in the morning.
He kept dwelling on it. On the smell. He had tried, really tried, and it had done nothing. It cannot be an error, he thought, to have tried, to have helped, to have hurt, but it was, and he had not even hurt that much. His hurt was in his heart, which he didn't know would ever heal. He didn't trust himself to even sleep, not with that smell permeating his bedsheets, his clothes, the air he breathed.
The wind ruffled Cyrus's hair, and he glanced up to see a bird soaring overhead. The sight, which usually would have filled him with joy, instead caused a stone to drop from his throat to his stomach, and his frown only deepened. He tore his gaze from the bird and slipped his hands into his pockets, heaving a sigh and he continued to walk, to try to get away from the sickly-sweet air.
His hyper-vigilance would prove not to be in vain, when as his gaze darted back and forth, from tree to tree, he noticed a bright flash. Instantly, the smell grew stronger, and Cyrus felt something prick at his eyes. He shoved himself backwards, arms wobbling as he attempted to keep balance. Luckily, no huge boom or movement of the ground followed the light, and his quick breathing eventually slowed as he realised that was just a stray spell.
'Is everyone okay!?' he asked, raising his voice, which cracked as he spoke. His gaze landed on the nearest person, a girl (Raizel), and he scrambled towards her, almost in a panic. 'You, are you okay? Are you hurt? You're not hurt, are you?' His voice cracked again as the words frantically spilled out of his lips, as if he couldn't have gotten them out quickly enough.
It followed him everywhere — the pungent, sickly-sweet meaty odour, as if it were stuck in a cloud around his head, something he couldn't get away from. He hated being indoors now, as that only made it worse. He had to get away, except the couldn't, not from the stupid, stupid smell.
Cyrus roamed the great outdoors, no longer encompassed by the childlike sense of wonder that used to never leave him. His blue eyes scanned his surroundings, darting back and forth as if he expected something to come out of nowhere. He kept rubbing at his nose, although he now made a conscious effort to stop himself doing it once he realised he was doing it, since he had given himself a nosebleed just earlier in the morning.
He kept dwelling on it. On the smell. He had tried, really tried, and it had done nothing. It cannot be an error, he thought, to have tried, to have helped, to have hurt, but it was, and he had not even hurt that much. His hurt was in his heart, which he didn't know would ever heal. He didn't trust himself to even sleep, not with that smell permeating his bedsheets, his clothes, the air he breathed.
The wind ruffled Cyrus's hair, and he glanced up to see a bird soaring overhead. The sight, which usually would have filled him with joy, instead caused a stone to drop from his throat to his stomach, and his frown only deepened. He tore his gaze from the bird and slipped his hands into his pockets, heaving a sigh and he continued to walk, to try to get away from the sickly-sweet air.
His hyper-vigilance would prove not to be in vain, when as his gaze darted back and forth, from tree to tree, he noticed a bright flash. Instantly, the smell grew stronger, and Cyrus felt something prick at his eyes. He shoved himself backwards, arms wobbling as he attempted to keep balance. Luckily, no huge boom or movement of the ground followed the light, and his quick breathing eventually slowed as he realised that was just a stray spell.
'Is everyone okay!?' he asked, raising his voice, which cracked as he spoke. His gaze landed on the nearest person, a girl (Raizel), and he scrambled towards her, almost in a panic. 'You, are you okay? Are you hurt? You're not hurt, are you?' His voice cracked again as the words frantically spilled out of his lips, as if he couldn't have gotten them out quickly enough.
Date: 18 October 2024
Time: Afternoon?
Location: Grounds
Private to: @Raizel Voltrouz
[pc] koko riddle · 'i was raised up to be admired.'
'hey! bom bom bom. got any grapes?' · cyrus darsel [inpc]
It Cannot Be An Error
Interactions ❯❯ @Koko Riddle as Cyrus Darsel | @ | @
Mentions ❯❯ @ | @ | @
❂《 ⌜ October 18, 2024 ▎ Afternoon ⌟▛▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔How many more sleepless nights does she need to endure? How many nightmares does she need to keep seeing before they finally stop? The fire, the explosion, the dead bodies. No matter how hard she tries to forget, they just keep coming back. In her sleep, in her everyday life. Ever since that visit to Hogsmeade that turned into a total disaster, Raizel had never been the same, plagued by the scenes that she had seen. Charred bodies underneath rubbles, roaring flames threatening to swallow you whole, screams that reverberate all throughout what once was a peaceful village that brought joy and entertainment. Now, it's nothing but a place of tragedy that took the lives of many.
She had to get it out of her head, she needed to. She has a race she needs to participate in tomorrow and she needs to get some practice in. With her mind so troubled by what she had seen, flying is not a great option unless she wants to crash. Not like she's not used to it for she had done so a couple of times as she seems to have developed the same problem as her owl. Pets do sometimes reflect their owner huh. In anycase, with flying out of her options, she settled for spell practice but she needed to do it someplace else other than the duelling club for just being in that room can be suffocating and she needed fresh air, hoping that’ll at least clear her mind. And besides, after what happened, she needed all the training she could get. What if something similar happened again? In her current state, with how weak she is, if that happened to her friends… will she be able to help them? Save them? That made her grit her teeth, hold her wand tight.
“Ventus!” She fired at a nearby tree, a spell that she had somehow taken a liking to but that was the worst spell she could choose right now for it just brought back memories that she is desperately pushing back. She was back in Hogsmeade again, filled with smoke all around them from the fire that raged through the village. It was difficult to find anyone or anything so she had thought of an idea of how to clear it. Ventus was the first to come to mind during that time and after a successful cast, the smoke slowly disappeared only for it to reveal the remains of people that were once full of life. She snapped back to reality, gasping for air, her breathing heavy as panic threatened to take hold of her.
Raizel shook her head and in an attempt to take her mind off of it, she casted a Flipendo but with her being so unfocused, the spell didn't hit her intended target which was a tree but rather it went astray much to her horror. Lucky for her, it didn't hit anyone but that blunder was then followed by a voice of someone shouting.
Is everyone okay?!
“Ah.” Raizel was about to say that was her fault and apologize but the boy who had shouted before was already in front of her, his voice sounded a bit panicked when he asked if she was okay, as if something dreadful just happened. “N-No… I mean yes!” The sudden contact had taken her by surprise and needed time to process what was going on. Once she did, and got her composure back, she breathed in, and then out. “I’m fine, really and that was my fault. I’m sorry.” Lesson learned, you also need a clear mind to cast spells. She won't be helping anyone at this point and would just cause them harm. She doesn't want that now, right? “Again, I’m sorry. I’ll be careful next time.” Right, she needs to keep going, to try and improve.
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««««« Dialogue | #800000
INVENTORY
Wand
Potions: See Inventory
Oziel Toussaint | Miharu Goto
STA: 7| EVA: 12| STR: 3| WIS: 12| ARC: 10| ACC: 13
Perfectionist I | Fearless | Wandmaker | Terrible Presence
It Cannot Be An Error
RPing as Cyrus Alexander Darsel (Ilvermorny iNPC)
The 'fit: A white polo and khakis, paired with brown loafers — something surprisingly normal for Cyrus.
Just like that, it was over, and the sunflower boy wilted.
The hurried breaths, words, questions had sapped at his energy, and now that it had all been an overreaction, his shoulders slumped, and whatever frantic spark had been in his gaze dulled. The girl affirmed that she was fine — not good, but fine, which... was fine, Cyrus guessed — and then suggested that the entire thing had been her fault, which Cyrus doubted.
For whatever reason, he couldn't help but be taken aback by her many apologies. 'I... It's okay,' he said, his words slower, his voice quieter than they had been before. 'I'm. I'm not blaming you or anything, it's just. Um. After. You know. Uh. The thing, at Hogsmeade, after that, I just, I want to make sure everyone's okay, you know, because hesitating didn't ever help anyone.' He spat out a laugh, but it probably came out too much, bubbling over his lips in a hurried exhale of air. 'So yeah. Not your fault. Sorry for, uh, interrupting, uh... whatever it is that you're doing?'
He slipped his hands into his pockets and looked at their surroundings. 'If you're practising spells, I'm not sure how much the trees can help you. Correct me if I'm wrong.'
Just like 'good omens' or other flavours of optimism hadn't helped all the wounded. All the — no. He wouldn't think it. He would just remember, always, that it had been a silly, stupid, catastrophic mistake to have assumed everything was all sunshine and rainbows.
Cyrus was not built for a world like this one. Yet here he lived, light on his face, in the stead of others.
Oh, the injustice of it all.
The hurried breaths, words, questions had sapped at his energy, and now that it had all been an overreaction, his shoulders slumped, and whatever frantic spark had been in his gaze dulled. The girl affirmed that she was fine — not good, but fine, which... was fine, Cyrus guessed — and then suggested that the entire thing had been her fault, which Cyrus doubted.
For whatever reason, he couldn't help but be taken aback by her many apologies. 'I... It's okay,' he said, his words slower, his voice quieter than they had been before. 'I'm. I'm not blaming you or anything, it's just. Um. After. You know. Uh. The thing, at Hogsmeade, after that, I just, I want to make sure everyone's okay, you know, because hesitating didn't ever help anyone.' He spat out a laugh, but it probably came out too much, bubbling over his lips in a hurried exhale of air. 'So yeah. Not your fault. Sorry for, uh, interrupting, uh... whatever it is that you're doing?'
He slipped his hands into his pockets and looked at their surroundings. 'If you're practising spells, I'm not sure how much the trees can help you. Correct me if I'm wrong.'
Just like 'good omens' or other flavours of optimism hadn't helped all the wounded. All the — no. He wouldn't think it. He would just remember, always, that it had been a silly, stupid, catastrophic mistake to have assumed everything was all sunshine and rainbows.
Cyrus was not built for a world like this one. Yet here he lived, light on his face, in the stead of others.
Oh, the injustice of it all.
Date: 18 October 2024
Time: Afternoon?
Location: Grounds
Private to: @Raizel Voltrouz
[pc] koko riddle · 'i was raised up to be admired.'
'hey! bom bom bom. got any grapes?' · cyrus darsel [inpc]
It Cannot Be An Error
Interactions ❯❯ @Koko Riddle as Cyrus Darsel | @ | @
Mentions ❯❯ @ | @ | @
❂《 ⌜ October 18, 2024 ▎ Afternoon ⌟▛▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔“It's just that, I got distracted and the spell went flying somewhere else, so yeah, that stray spell is kind of my fault.” Raizel said while scratching her head. If it happened to hit anyone, that would certainly be her fault. She would apologize again but this boy probably had heard enough apologies from her. Hogsmeade… oh, she just wanted to forget about that yet here she is, being reminded of it once more but it goes to show how others were just as affected as her.
Hesitating didn't ever help anyone.
“I understand.” Raizel agreed with that because that same reasoning is what made her and Zach take action. They see the chaos before them, the thoughts that rushed through them first was the hurt and those in need. Zach was the first to take action, igniting that spark within her, that spark that made her want to become an Auror in the future and that's to help those in need. She tried her best of course and she does think she did good during that time. But a part of her is screaming saying that it's not enough when something similar happens again. “No need to apologize, I was just trying out some spells… well, before that happens.” She chuckled sheepishly, turning her attention back to the tree that she was using as a target practice. Not like she was gonna destroy it but yeah, maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to use it as target practice. She will apologize once this is done.
She laughed again. “You’re right, trees can't actually fight back and it was my bad for making it a target practice but I just wanted to be outside for a while and I guess, I couldn't really stop myself from doing a bit of spellcasting practice.” She had always been a restless girl, even more so since that incident. Practice, Training, that's all she ever does along with keeping up with her studies. Tiring, exhausting, but what can she do? When she quit duelling, she was so far behind and she had a lot of catching up to do, thus, her training sessions. Then after that incident, she knew she had to catch up faster. Incidents like that won't wait for one to become strong enough to face it.
“It would probably be better to find someone to spar with but…” she paused, thinking about it. She used to do that, doesn't she? Finding older opponents for experience yet nothing seems to be changing, certainly not her skills. “That's not exactly working out for me either.” Why is she saying this to a complete stranger? This boy doesn't have to know. Who is he anyway? She never got his name. Come to think of it, he doesn't seem like a student from Hogwarts. One of the foreign students? If so, then him mentioning about the Hogsmeade incident would make sense now. He was there and had probably seen the horror of it all from the very beginning.
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««««« Dialogue | #800000
INVENTORY
Wand
Potions: See Inventory
Oziel Toussaint | Miharu Goto
STA: 7| EVA: 12| STR: 3| WIS: 12| ARC: 10| ACC: 13
Perfectionist I | Fearless | Wandmaker | Terrible Presence
It Cannot Be An Error
RPing as Cyrus Alexander Darsel (Ilvermorny iNPC)
The 'fit: A white polo and khakis, paired with brown loafers — something surprisingly normal for Cyrus.
Cyrus listened to the girl, nodding to her words, doing his best to make himself seem compassionate and kind, and more than that, like someone who wanted to help. 'No one got hurt, so it's okay.' He smiled at her, a bright smile that surely reflected sunlight.
She explained that she had been practising spells before the incident — oh, he didn't like that wording. He would not call it that, not after The Incident, in capitals. 'Ohh.' He hummed in accordance. 'Especially after... He trailed off, cheeks colouring as his gaze darkened. His hair fell into his face as he glanced downwards, blue eyes poring into dying grass, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. '...y'know.'
Yeah, it wasn't the trees' fault. It was the fault of that pitiful degenerate, that despicable, bastardly worm that had wreaked havoc upon Hogsmeade. Not the fault of any student, or any tree, or any creature other than that depraved monster.
He had zoned out, lost in his emotions, and when he looked back up towards the girl, all he heard was '...spellcasting practice.' It wasn't something he was unfamiliar with, especially as a duellist, but even now, looking back, it hadn't been spells that had helped him. It had been a singular potion. And fat load of good it had done, anyway, only helping one person. No, there needed to be more of an effect. More good in the world. Who was he to be unable to provide that?
'To spar?' he echoed dumbly. 'Like they do in the movies?' The innocent question spilled out of his lips before he could check himself — as a no-Maj-born, he didn't often mention things in his upbringing, and now that he had said it, he couldn't take it back. Crikey. 'Uh, like, with martial arts. Punches 'n' stuff.'
Except then, she mentioned that sparring wasn't working out for her, and he blanched. Oh, oh no. 'Oh, I'm sorry, that's... not great to hear.' If she meant physical sparring, ouch. If she meant magical sparring, double ouch, he reckoned, imagining the explosive spells like Confringo hitting someone, or worse, Petrificus Totalus. 'As much as I like duelling — uh, I'm a duellist — sometimes, yeah, it just doesn't work. It's not fun.'
He sighed wearily and stretched his fingers at his sides, hands no longer clenched in fists. 'I'm Cyrus, by the way. From Ilvermorny, but you probably already gathered that from the accent.' He wouldn't ask her for her name — that was up to her to give, if she so desired. He would not take that agency from her. He would even leave if asked. He could very well understand the wish to be alone.
She explained that she had been practising spells before the incident — oh, he didn't like that wording. He would not call it that, not after The Incident, in capitals. 'Ohh.' He hummed in accordance. 'Especially after... He trailed off, cheeks colouring as his gaze darkened. His hair fell into his face as he glanced downwards, blue eyes poring into dying grass, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. '...y'know.'
Yeah, it wasn't the trees' fault. It was the fault of that pitiful degenerate, that despicable, bastardly worm that had wreaked havoc upon Hogsmeade. Not the fault of any student, or any tree, or any creature other than that depraved monster.
He had zoned out, lost in his emotions, and when he looked back up towards the girl, all he heard was '...spellcasting practice.' It wasn't something he was unfamiliar with, especially as a duellist, but even now, looking back, it hadn't been spells that had helped him. It had been a singular potion. And fat load of good it had done, anyway, only helping one person. No, there needed to be more of an effect. More good in the world. Who was he to be unable to provide that?
'To spar?' he echoed dumbly. 'Like they do in the movies?' The innocent question spilled out of his lips before he could check himself — as a no-Maj-born, he didn't often mention things in his upbringing, and now that he had said it, he couldn't take it back. Crikey. 'Uh, like, with martial arts. Punches 'n' stuff.'
Except then, she mentioned that sparring wasn't working out for her, and he blanched. Oh, oh no. 'Oh, I'm sorry, that's... not great to hear.' If she meant physical sparring, ouch. If she meant magical sparring, double ouch, he reckoned, imagining the explosive spells like Confringo hitting someone, or worse, Petrificus Totalus. 'As much as I like duelling — uh, I'm a duellist — sometimes, yeah, it just doesn't work. It's not fun.'
He sighed wearily and stretched his fingers at his sides, hands no longer clenched in fists. 'I'm Cyrus, by the way. From Ilvermorny, but you probably already gathered that from the accent.' He wouldn't ask her for her name — that was up to her to give, if she so desired. He would not take that agency from her. He would even leave if asked. He could very well understand the wish to be alone.
Date: 18 October 2024
Time: Afternoon?
Location: Grounds
Private to: @Raizel Voltrouz
[pc] koko riddle · 'i was raised up to be admired.'
'hey! bom bom bom. got any grapes?' · cyrus darsel [inpc]
It Cannot Be An Error
Interactions ❯❯ @Koko Riddle as Cyrus Darsel | @ | @
Mentions ❯❯ @ | @ | @
❂《 ⌜ October 18, 2024 ▎ Afternoon ⌟▛▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔Raizel sighed in relief to hear that no one got hurt because of that stray spell, her consciousness wouldn't let her rest if it did hit someone and she doesn't need more things to think about, to bother her in her mind. Isn't that Hogsmeade incident enough to torture her for the rest of her life? To always haunt her as she goes about her daily routine? She had enough on her plate, adding more to it would just bring her close to her breakdown.
When the boy started muttering, about something. Especially after… She knows what exactly he is talking about. That made her think though, that maybe she could've done something better to be of aid aside from giving a random girl a calming draught, aside from clearing a smoke. Maybe she could've helped someone under those rubbles, maybe some of them were still alive but she too was getting overwhelmed by the scene that was laid before her much like how her friend was so she chose to go back, not just for his sake but for hers as well. If only she was stronger, in mind, body and magic then maybe…
Her thoughts were interrupted by the boy’s voice once more. “Movies?” She wondered as she tilted her head. While she has a Muggleborn mother, she was raised in a mostly magical household with only a few knowledge of the muggle world. She has to search for the information in her mind, if that's something her mother had told her before and that she had forgotten but nothing seems to be clicking. “Ah! It's alright. I probably have just the worst luck or maybe, I’m just… horrible at it.” She sighed as she turned around to face the tree once again. For two years, she had dedicated her life to duelling, learning advance spells, practicing every time she free but still, despite all of that, she still sucks at it, she is still racking up loses more than wins and it's what led her to quit.
“You're a duellist?” Hearing that somehow sparked her interest in the boy. The first thing she wanted to say was ‘hey, you want to spar with me then?’ but she stopped herself. Remember, she stopped duelling, she quit it a long time ago and has no intentions of going back. “You're right though, it doesn't work, it's not fun.” And she was getting nowhere, she was the worst in her duelling team that she thinks she's just a burden, a waste of space in the team when someone more talented could take her place there. She doesn't want to keep being a burden so it was better to quit, better to leave and go back when thinks she's good enough. “I used to duel, even asking older people just to challenge myself but yeah.”
When will that time come though and didn't she just break that oath now that she had returned as a duelling co-captain too? How'd she even got that position when she's the worst of them all? She'll wonder about that later on. “Raizel, from Hogwarts.” She introduced, slapping herself mentally. Isn't that obvious already? “Nice to meet you.” For a duellist though, he sure looks strong compared to other duellists that she had seen and in a way, that's interesting. It was rare to see people like him for most duellists would hone their magical skills and rarely, their physical skills. That's what she did and it never worked well. She was reminded of what Evelynn said once more, of not relying on magic. She was starting to lean more on that probably because she can't trust it at the moment. Would things change if she starts relying on her fists more than her wand then? She doesn't know. She doesn't have that much experience when it comes to non-magic activities but she is seeing that as a mistake.
Magic is already failing her and won't it be better to know alternative ways to fight or defend than just standing and watching everything unfold before her without doing anything? When she realized she was staring, she shook her head. “My apologies for staring.” She apologized before turning around and firing a Flipendo at the tree. That felt tiring more than it should be. She just started minutes ago, never stopping but perhaps her exhaustion from those sleepless nights and early day training are finally catching up to her.
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««««« Dialogue | #800000
INVENTORY
Wand
Potions: See Inventory
Oziel Toussaint | Miharu Goto
STA: 7| EVA: 12| STR: 3| WIS: 12| ARC: 10| ACC: 13
Perfectionist I | Fearless | Wandmaker | Terrible Presence
It Cannot Be An Error
RPing as Cyrus Alexander Darsel (Ilvermorny iNPC)
The 'fit: A white polo and khakis, paired with brown loafers — something surprisingly normal for Cyrus.
Simple conversation had forced the stench away, if only for a moment, and now, Cyrus could breathe.
Shallow breaths, of course, as he could never be too safe. But breathing, clean breathing, smelling of the Scottish pines and the air of the lake, wafted around him. He savoured it, relished in it, took deep breaths as he surveyed the girl.
She seemed slightly confused when he mentioned 'movies', but he didn't elaborate, giving a small shrug as if to say 'Well, you know', as he hoped to move on. She didn't seem like she would be prejudiced against No-Maj-borns, but you could never know, and it was better to be safe than sorry, Cyrus was quickly learning.
He frowned slightly when she suggested she was horrible at sparring, or duelling, or really anything. 'Hey, I really doubt that — I'd bet your spells would really pack a punch.' He offered a shrug, something playful when paired with his lighthearted grin. 'And luck can be really mean sometimes. It'll just pick favourites. Sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.'
His acquaintance with fortune sometimes caused him to pick up on things like these, little insights into life that surprised even him. Sometimes it was like playing cards and seeing a picture in the way the diamonds were laid out on the 9. Creativity, sometimes, but maybe just a different way of thinking about things that kept him going even at the worst of times, that would keep him going even now.
'Oh, uh, yeah! I duel. Did my first and last real duel this summer.' The memory sparked a flicker of warmth in his chest, and his smile grew. 'I'm kind of sad I won't be able to duel with Rett again. We made a good pair.' But he wasn't with Rett now, was he? He glanced sidelong at the girl next to him and hoped his gaze exuded the same warmth it had when he had duelled with Rett. She seemed like she might be in need of it.
His smile faded slightly, still resting on his face but now only as a method of hopeful reassurance, when she told him he was right. He knew all too well what it was like when spells failed, and he knew how much it hurt to keep going. He remembered sleepless nights spent reading magical theory, day after day spent learning how to spread his spells, hours spent studying when he could have been doing anything else. No, it wasn't fun when things didn't work. And for him, it had worked out in the end. But after listening, he didn't think this girl from Hogwarts could say the same for herself.
'It is very nice to meet you indeed,' he said in response to her introduction, and then he remained quiet, simply listening to the chirps of birds and the rustle of leaves, the hint of wind causing ripples on the lake. He thought of a duck sitting in the water, and then gliding along with the current before swimming, because sometimes it was okay to be gentle and go slow rather than hit the ground running.
'Sometimes you don't need to challenge yourself,' Cyrus mused, glancing up at the branches of the trees almost wistfully. 'You know, sure, you can just take a running leap. But a bird that hasn't grown all of its feathers can't fly nearly as well as one that has. So the bird will start small, leaping from branch to branch, getting a feel for things in a safe environment, that way it doesn't crash. Because if you try too hard all at once, you can burn out. And it'll hurt.' His gaze travelled back to Raizel. 'I'm not saying that's the best approach, branching. But what I am saying is that maybe duelling older, more experienced opponents was too much all at once. I don't think I could've done that without hurting myself — be that my body, sure, but more so my heart.'
He smiled at her again — the skin at the corners of his eyes wrinkled, and so did the skin at the edge of his mouth. But his skin felt like a mask over his bones, pulled tight and tied off as if to keep him all in one piece. He glanced forlornly at the lake, a small sigh emanating from his mouth, when the hair on the back of his neck prickled, and he turned to see Raizel eyeing him. Perhaps he had done something right, he decided, to have gotten her attention.
And then she apologised! His brows came closer together. 'What're you apologising for?' His fingers found the back of his neck and scratched where the wind tugged at his hair.
He eyed the flipendo that Raizel cast. 'That was good. Your spells are good. But you — you look tired. I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to ask, but are you okay?'
Shallow breaths, of course, as he could never be too safe. But breathing, clean breathing, smelling of the Scottish pines and the air of the lake, wafted around him. He savoured it, relished in it, took deep breaths as he surveyed the girl.
She seemed slightly confused when he mentioned 'movies', but he didn't elaborate, giving a small shrug as if to say 'Well, you know', as he hoped to move on. She didn't seem like she would be prejudiced against No-Maj-borns, but you could never know, and it was better to be safe than sorry, Cyrus was quickly learning.
He frowned slightly when she suggested she was horrible at sparring, or duelling, or really anything. 'Hey, I really doubt that — I'd bet your spells would really pack a punch.' He offered a shrug, something playful when paired with his lighthearted grin. 'And luck can be really mean sometimes. It'll just pick favourites. Sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.'
His acquaintance with fortune sometimes caused him to pick up on things like these, little insights into life that surprised even him. Sometimes it was like playing cards and seeing a picture in the way the diamonds were laid out on the 9. Creativity, sometimes, but maybe just a different way of thinking about things that kept him going even at the worst of times, that would keep him going even now.
'Oh, uh, yeah! I duel. Did my first and last real duel this summer.' The memory sparked a flicker of warmth in his chest, and his smile grew. 'I'm kind of sad I won't be able to duel with Rett again. We made a good pair.' But he wasn't with Rett now, was he? He glanced sidelong at the girl next to him and hoped his gaze exuded the same warmth it had when he had duelled with Rett. She seemed like she might be in need of it.
His smile faded slightly, still resting on his face but now only as a method of hopeful reassurance, when she told him he was right. He knew all too well what it was like when spells failed, and he knew how much it hurt to keep going. He remembered sleepless nights spent reading magical theory, day after day spent learning how to spread his spells, hours spent studying when he could have been doing anything else. No, it wasn't fun when things didn't work. And for him, it had worked out in the end. But after listening, he didn't think this girl from Hogwarts could say the same for herself.
'It is very nice to meet you indeed,' he said in response to her introduction, and then he remained quiet, simply listening to the chirps of birds and the rustle of leaves, the hint of wind causing ripples on the lake. He thought of a duck sitting in the water, and then gliding along with the current before swimming, because sometimes it was okay to be gentle and go slow rather than hit the ground running.
'Sometimes you don't need to challenge yourself,' Cyrus mused, glancing up at the branches of the trees almost wistfully. 'You know, sure, you can just take a running leap. But a bird that hasn't grown all of its feathers can't fly nearly as well as one that has. So the bird will start small, leaping from branch to branch, getting a feel for things in a safe environment, that way it doesn't crash. Because if you try too hard all at once, you can burn out. And it'll hurt.' His gaze travelled back to Raizel. 'I'm not saying that's the best approach, branching. But what I am saying is that maybe duelling older, more experienced opponents was too much all at once. I don't think I could've done that without hurting myself — be that my body, sure, but more so my heart.'
He smiled at her again — the skin at the corners of his eyes wrinkled, and so did the skin at the edge of his mouth. But his skin felt like a mask over his bones, pulled tight and tied off as if to keep him all in one piece. He glanced forlornly at the lake, a small sigh emanating from his mouth, when the hair on the back of his neck prickled, and he turned to see Raizel eyeing him. Perhaps he had done something right, he decided, to have gotten her attention.
And then she apologised! His brows came closer together. 'What're you apologising for?' His fingers found the back of his neck and scratched where the wind tugged at his hair.
He eyed the flipendo that Raizel cast. 'That was good. Your spells are good. But you — you look tired. I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to ask, but are you okay?'
Date: 18 October 2024
Time: Afternoon?
Location: Grounds
Private to: @Raizel Voltrouz
[pc] koko riddle · 'i was raised up to be admired.'
'hey! bom bom bom. got any grapes?' · cyrus darsel [inpc]
It Cannot Be An Error
Interactions ❯❯ @Koko Riddle as Cyrus Darsel | @ | @
Mentions ❯❯ @ | @ | @
❂《 ⌜ October 18, 2024 ▎ Afternoon ⌟▛▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔How she wishes that her spells indeed pack a punch, enough to even knock out someone in a duel because she can’t remember the last time she was able to do so. All she ever experienced was the lack of strength in her spells, how she sometimes failed to cast even and that she could barely hit anyone too. Skill issue or perhaps it’s just as Cyrus said, that luck is just being mean. “If that is the case, guess luck has been mean to me for years now.” It was no joke. All she ever had was bad luck all throughout the year. While there might be moments that she did have some good luck on her side, it’s outweighed by all the bad things.
Summer duels… That reminds her that students from other schools have sports events during those times. She had never gone to watch a single one of them though. It would’ve been nice but she was busy doing her own thing. Too busy sneaking around and finding a place to read, to learn these advance spells that she thought would help her in the future. That’s right. She’s working hard even during the days that she should be relaxing then why? Why is she not going anywhere? Why is she still stuck in this pathetic state?
Judging with how Cyrus talked about this Rett person, she can tell that they were good friends or maybe good partners. This is a feeling that she could never relate to and she has her own reasons why. “Must be nice… to have someone you can trust there.” she started. “Most of the teammates I had just kind of stood there and watched everything go down.” In a span of two official duels, she had at least one in each one of those a teammate that barely does anything, leaving them to fend on their own. Really, if you’re not prepared to stand on that piste then it’s better for you to just don’t. She sighed as she could feel the frustration building up. She can’t have that now, can she?
Maybe he is right, that she doesn’t need to challenge herself. It hurts, it burnt her out, it broke her in the end. “What else could I do though when everything I tried just doesn’t work?” She uttered as she looked up with a frown. “I’m so far behind. When everyone is already nearing the middle or even the end, I’m still at the starting line, unmoving.” That’s how it felt despite her hard work. People had already made a name for themselves, even those in her year and all she has is that Duelling Co-captain title of hers that she doesn’t even know if she deserved it. For her whole two years in Hogwarts, she had given everything she had for improvement but she never did. She felt so lost after, much more when there is pressure. There are things she wanted to prove and that was her only way she could do it, to show her grandmother that she could reach greatness despite her blood status, despite having her blood ‘tainted’. “The only way I know is to just work harder. Harder than anyone else even if it means reaching my limits.”
Are you okay?
She hated that question, she hated answering it, she hated being asked about it for it only meant one thing and that she wavered, she showed weakness. She can’t have people seeing that. “Yes, I’m fine.” She said with a forced smile, something that she had learned to show to keep herself from looking so weak in front of others. “And uh… guess I just found myself staring and that’s kind of rude and embarrassing.” she admitted with a slight tint of red on her cheeks. “Just that, you look physically strong for a duellist.” Okay, maybe that was a bit weird. “I mean, most people I know who are duellists kind of hone their magic skills more than their physical body!” she followed it up quickly to not weird him out. Maybe it’s already too late for that and Cyrus is already seeing her as this weird Hogwarts student already. “You also mentioned Martial Arts earlier. Punching and kicking and throwing stuff?” She was genuinely curious about that. With magic already failing her, it was about time that she explored other ways of defending and fighting even if it meant embracing the muggle side. “Do you do them?”
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▟⌜ It Cannot Be An Error ⌟ | ⌜ WC: 748/200 ⌟
««««« Dialogue | #800000
INVENTORY
Wand
Potions: See Inventory
Oziel Toussaint | Miharu Goto
STA: 7| EVA: 12| STR: 3| WIS: 12| ARC: 10| ACC: 13
Perfectionist I | Fearless | Wandmaker | Terrible Presence
It Cannot Be An Error
RPing as Cyrus Alexander Darsel (Ilvermorny iNPC)
The 'fit: A white polo and khakis, paired with brown loafers — something surprisingly normal for Cyrus.
He made a small hum in response to Raizel's musing that perhaps luck had been mean to her for years. That didn't sound fun — and that was the point of sports, wasn't it? To have fun? He couldn't imagine duelling if it weren't fun. If it had been that draining for him, he would have quit — why keep doing it if he couldn't appreciate it for its art, its beauty, if it hurt him not physically but emotionally?
His disappointment sank even further in his heart when he heard Raizel say she'd never had a good duelling partner. Oh barnacles, that had to be horrible. He'd been lucky that he had gotten to duel with Rett, someone he hadn't known well, but now felt he could rely on and trust. It would have been nice if Rett were here, he mused, but at least Rett hadn't had to be there. The world had small mercies sometimes.
'That's... really disappointing. Duels are supposed to be all about teamwork, yeah? But what they do or don't do shouldn't reflect poorly on you; you can't control anyone's actions but your own.'
What she said next, though, took him aback. His mouth opened slightly, not even to speak, simply to breathe, to absorb what she had said and not feel moved to cry. He couldn't respond, not immediately. He understood the feeling — he hadn't done a real duel until he was nearly eighteen, for Pete's sake! So he got it. But tearing yourself up about it... he hurt inside just thinking of how Raizel must have felt.
'Everyone's different,' he said slowly, the words gravelly on his tongue. Uncertain. 'Just because one person is doing really well right now doesn't mean they will be in a year or two. And we've got all these years ahead of us! I didn't duel until I was nearly eighteen — if you look at it that way, you're ages ahead of me.' He smiled at her. 'There'll always be someone you're farther along than, and always someone ahead of you. What matters is that you focus on you and that you improve yourself at your own pace. Slow and steady wins the race, after all.'
Harder than everyone else if it means reaching your limits. That was a one-way ticket to burnout, Cyrus thought, and once again, he knew the feeling. He was past that now, and he'd been lucky to have shifted his focus to something less stressful, but... limits were sometimes hard limits. That was what they were, after all. In maths, limits, you couldn't go past them. So how could you improve once you'd hit your limit? You couldn't. You'd just break.
Cyrus would try to avoid showing his worry for Raizel as he spoke. 'That's... we all have our limits, and if you're trying to improve yourself... barrelling towards your limit is only going to hurt you, because it'll be like sprinting head-first into a rock wall — major ouch. It's important to listen to what you need first and foremost. Who cares what others think? You'll get there anyway, and if you hurt yourself before you can reach new heights, you might jeopardise yourself, which isn't worth it, in my opinion.' He shut his mouth quickly, realising he'd spoken a lot. 'That's just my two cents, after all. Take with a grain of salt and a lot of water.' He chuckled.
She said she was fine, but Cyrus found it difficult to believe that. If she were fine, her words wouldn't have resonated with a time when Cyrus hadn't been so fine... right? But he wouldn't say that, would only make a point to listen with his full attention to all of Raizel's words.
'Oh. I don't mind staring. Sometimes people look at me because they think I'm a bit odd.' He shrugged. 'All of us are like our own unique little works of art. I'm okay if people want to look. If I can bring them a smile it makes my day all the better!' But that wasn't what Raizel was getting at. He hummed a tune to himself as he pondered it — perhaps he was rather strong for a duellist. He recalled the trouble his opponents had had with the fulgaris he'd given them over the summer. He'd assumed it was just due to his magic, but maybe it was more of a lack of strength on their end. 'I guess that's true? I've always found value in being well-rounded, though, and when I was younger I went to the gym a lot. And it's proven useful to not just be good at magic.'
He shrugged when she asked if he did martial arts. 'I did kickboxing when I was younger. My family thought I was hyperactive or something and that it would be best for me to get my energy out in a way that wasn't distracting to others. It was fun, to be honest, but only when I was hitting a bag. I don't like the idea of actually causing harm to others.' He raised an eyebrow. 'Why, have you done martial arts before?'
His disappointment sank even further in his heart when he heard Raizel say she'd never had a good duelling partner. Oh barnacles, that had to be horrible. He'd been lucky that he had gotten to duel with Rett, someone he hadn't known well, but now felt he could rely on and trust. It would have been nice if Rett were here, he mused, but at least Rett hadn't had to be there. The world had small mercies sometimes.
'That's... really disappointing. Duels are supposed to be all about teamwork, yeah? But what they do or don't do shouldn't reflect poorly on you; you can't control anyone's actions but your own.'
What she said next, though, took him aback. His mouth opened slightly, not even to speak, simply to breathe, to absorb what she had said and not feel moved to cry. He couldn't respond, not immediately. He understood the feeling — he hadn't done a real duel until he was nearly eighteen, for Pete's sake! So he got it. But tearing yourself up about it... he hurt inside just thinking of how Raizel must have felt.
'Everyone's different,' he said slowly, the words gravelly on his tongue. Uncertain. 'Just because one person is doing really well right now doesn't mean they will be in a year or two. And we've got all these years ahead of us! I didn't duel until I was nearly eighteen — if you look at it that way, you're ages ahead of me.' He smiled at her. 'There'll always be someone you're farther along than, and always someone ahead of you. What matters is that you focus on you and that you improve yourself at your own pace. Slow and steady wins the race, after all.'
Harder than everyone else if it means reaching your limits. That was a one-way ticket to burnout, Cyrus thought, and once again, he knew the feeling. He was past that now, and he'd been lucky to have shifted his focus to something less stressful, but... limits were sometimes hard limits. That was what they were, after all. In maths, limits, you couldn't go past them. So how could you improve once you'd hit your limit? You couldn't. You'd just break.
Cyrus would try to avoid showing his worry for Raizel as he spoke. 'That's... we all have our limits, and if you're trying to improve yourself... barrelling towards your limit is only going to hurt you, because it'll be like sprinting head-first into a rock wall — major ouch. It's important to listen to what you need first and foremost. Who cares what others think? You'll get there anyway, and if you hurt yourself before you can reach new heights, you might jeopardise yourself, which isn't worth it, in my opinion.' He shut his mouth quickly, realising he'd spoken a lot. 'That's just my two cents, after all. Take with a grain of salt and a lot of water.' He chuckled.
She said she was fine, but Cyrus found it difficult to believe that. If she were fine, her words wouldn't have resonated with a time when Cyrus hadn't been so fine... right? But he wouldn't say that, would only make a point to listen with his full attention to all of Raizel's words.
'Oh. I don't mind staring. Sometimes people look at me because they think I'm a bit odd.' He shrugged. 'All of us are like our own unique little works of art. I'm okay if people want to look. If I can bring them a smile it makes my day all the better!' But that wasn't what Raizel was getting at. He hummed a tune to himself as he pondered it — perhaps he was rather strong for a duellist. He recalled the trouble his opponents had had with the fulgaris he'd given them over the summer. He'd assumed it was just due to his magic, but maybe it was more of a lack of strength on their end. 'I guess that's true? I've always found value in being well-rounded, though, and when I was younger I went to the gym a lot. And it's proven useful to not just be good at magic.'
He shrugged when she asked if he did martial arts. 'I did kickboxing when I was younger. My family thought I was hyperactive or something and that it would be best for me to get my energy out in a way that wasn't distracting to others. It was fun, to be honest, but only when I was hitting a bag. I don't like the idea of actually causing harm to others.' He raised an eyebrow. 'Why, have you done martial arts before?'
Date: 18 October 2024
Time: Afternoon?
Location: Grounds
Private to: @Raizel Voltrouz
[pc] koko riddle · 'i was raised up to be admired.'
'hey! bom bom bom. got any grapes?' · cyrus darsel [inpc]
It Cannot Be An Error
Interactions ❯❯ @Koko Riddle as Cyrus Darsel | @ | @
Mentions ❯❯ @ | @ | @
❂《 ⌜ October 18, 2024 ▎ Afternoon ⌟▛▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔Teamwork…? Oh, oh no, as far as she knows, that doesn't exist in duelling. Sure, she had some decent teammates, Sere Nade being the only one that she can remember now but the rest? She was better off relying on herself. That's what duelling taught her at least. The only person you can trust is yourself, it's why she grew more desperate in becoming better. She could only trust herself and her own strength. Cyrus is right of course, that's something anyone can't control but at the same time, it did make her feel that perhaps if she was strong enough that time, then maybe she wouldn't even need them.
“My pace is too slow. Things like what happened in Hogsmeade won't wait for you until you're ready to face it so I just… I know that I have to hurry. I can’t stand being like this…” There was frustration in her tone when she said that, not exactly directed at Cyrus but more on herself. She hates her slow progress, she's sick and tired of her misfortunes and her inability to move forward like everybody else, how she couldn't keep up and with the recent event in Hogsmeade haunting her every second, minute and hour, she wanted strength as soon as possible. Strength to prevent it, to help people.
People had it easy, because they are actually going somewhere and she's not. She had been trying for years yet why is there no changes? Slow down, do things at your own pace. Those pieces of advice weren't working but once more, Cyrus made a good point. If she keeps pushing herself like this, she’ll just grow further behind if she starts feeling the consequences of her actions. She can already feel it creeping in, that exhaustion, her body slowly breaking from it along with how she works hard, too hard in fact. But what else can she do? There is no other way because if there were, she would be choosing it now instead of what she's been doing. She has grown too impatient with how long she is taking to see the improvements that she badly seeks. Anything would suffice, any means would be fine as long as she gets out of this unmoving space that she's been confined to for too long. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She will indeed just in case she might need it in the future, when she finally realizes that her methods are wrong, when she could drive away that air of desperation that's been poisoning her once clear mind.
“You don't seem odd.” The boy looked like the nicest person that ever existed to tell the truth. Her interaction with him tells her how nice he is. He’s kind to strangers even, giving them advice when he doesn't have anything to do with them. People like him are rare nowadays to be honest. Such a shame really. Maybe the world would've been kinder. “And no, I don't do Martial Arts.” She had only hear about it and it sure did intrigue her now. Like I said, she will take anything that she could to help her get out of stagnancy. This seems like a good way to do it. “Can you show me some moves?” She asked. “Well, since magic isn't being kind to me and all, I think it might be to look at other things and an upperclassman did say to not just rely on magic… I want to have more options as a means for action when the time comes that my magic starts failing me.” Maybe she's being too harsh but that's the truth. If her magical skills are failing her now, then they will surely fail her in future.
▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▟⌜ It Cannot Be An Error ⌟ | ⌜ WC: 623/200 ⌟
««««« Dialogue | #800000
INVENTORY
Wand
Potions: See Inventory
Oziel Toussaint | Miharu Goto
STA: 7| EVA: 12| STR: 3| WIS: 12| ARC: 10| ACC: 13
Perfectionist I | Fearless | Wandmaker | Terrible Presence