Bad Advice

Don't do what you just did.



I'm feeling a little lonely, any solutions?

Separate yourself from any contact from other humans, that way you don't see what you're missing out on.

I feel sad all the time, what should I do?

Just stop feeling sad, duh.

I'm worried that I might be too pretty for my own good.. Any advice to avoid people staring at me at the pool when I'm on holiday soon?

Oh yes! I heard Theresa some nice professional clowns at the local circus! They might be able to help with your make up. Maybe even ask about their special ‘clown makeup’ deal. I heard its bright!

It’s 12 am and I have a blown out tire. I have no idea how to connect a spare tire and I’m all alone on this street. What should I do?

Walk home. Screw the car/bike/whatever.

I'm currently bored, any ideas?

Go out to a casino and probably get arrested because you’re so drunk. You won’t be bored in prison. :|


True story,
My parents and my sister left for Las Vegas without me because I’m “too young” to go, and I’m spending the week with my grandparents. What should I do??

Gamble online, your grandparents likely won't be able to stop you.

Is there any way to just... stop having periods? (My character may be male, but I'm female.)

hmm... drink an aging potion so you're too old to have your period!!



oof. Real story, I lost my apple watch. Where do I look?

In the fruit department


I keep bumping into things

Teddy Roosevelt coined the phrase, "Speak softly and carry a big stick."
This obviously applies perfectly to your situation! Quite simply utter a few choice curse words under your breath every time you happen to bump into something, then wale on the wicked object with said "big stick." Your accursed clumsiness will be all but forgotten in the midst of your immeasurable satisfaction.

A peer of mine recently said my cat would soon be "sleeping with the fishes." Putting aside the fact that I find an unforgivable error of pluralization in that statement, I do not know what it means, and would appreciate a word of advice on what I should do...