5 Things You Didn't Know About Giant Squids Slight Comedy Informal Article

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𝟻 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙳𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝙺𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚂𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚜
𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚢: 𝙰𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙰 𝙼. 𝚅𝙰𝙻𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙴

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Every student in Hogwarts is familiar with the beast that resides and safeguards the Great Lake, the majestic Giant Squid (totally not paid to call it majestic). One may have encountered this giant of a creature, or not, if you're someone like me who stays away from the Great Lake for whatever reason you're hiding in your arsenal. But if your curiosity is piqued and you're intrigued by the contents of this article, well, you may have come to the wrong place because there is clearly nothing to see here. I'm joking. Anyway, if you're one of the audience that is actually looking for ways to have a Giant Squid as a pet, you also have come to the wrong place. I suggest looking for a book in the Hogwarts Library entitled, “Magical Beasts: Because Normal Pets Are So Last Season”. Now you may ask, “why is there a book entitled like that?” Well, my darling, I also ask that same question myself. For advertisement, is all a reason I can think of. Nevertheless, who wouldn't be entranced to read a book titled like that? It is a rather inviting title, don't you think? Don't deny it; a mere owl is simply last season. We're getting off track, but if you are, indeed, looking for ways to domesticate a Giant Squid and such a lousy reader (poor you) to read a comprehensive guide for your quest, then I will write a short article for you—for another time, since you are not that actually special. Ha, joking, of course (not). Let’s start, shall we? Buckle up in your seats, because this creature might actually snag your attention (I intended it to be like that, I'd be a lousy writer if it didn't), not just your favourite snacks you foolishly left near the lake shore! The Giant Squid of the Black Lake is one of the most fascinating and enigmatic residents of Hogwarts. Students often catch glimpses of its tentacles, but there’s far more to this magical creature than meets the eye. Here are five little-known facts that will make you see the Giant Squid in a whole new light: ┏ 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚝 # 𝟷: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙼𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙱𝙴 𝙰 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳 ┛ But it looks just like a squid. What your beloved writer meant is, it might not actually be a normal squid. Certain magizoologists theorised that Giant Squids are actually magical subspecies of an ordinary squid, therefore regarded that it might only resemble one. Now, if these Giant Squids have heard that coming out of your mouth, it might smack you across the face with its long and large tentacle for not believing that it was a squid. If it argued, “now that's an unfounded accusation!” I'm not actually leaving you without founded proof from the magizoologists themselves. Unlike ordinary squids, Giant Squids can inhabit freshwater. Ordinary squids preferred the underwater cold and, if it could, saltwater. It revels in the biting cold that the underwater provides; it also preferred the water pressure enough to flatten a normal person. It would not be able to survive in freshwater, the lack of pressure in the surface and the surface itself, and the sunlight. They also have tender skin like a baby; it would break once exposed. But Giant Squids (I don't know how to differentiate them by the names, I'm hair away to call Giant Squids Gregorios instead) preferred to bask in the sunlight the sun provides, perhaps tanning for summer vacation; they can inhabit freshwater; and they can eat and digest bread, unlike ordinary squids. Giant Squids have certain abilities and intelligence different from what's supposed to be the same group. ┏ 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚝 #𝟸: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷𝙻𝚈 𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾𝙰𝚂𝚃 ┛ Did you know that? Although a Giant Squid’s diet consisted only of crustaceans like shrimps, they also liked toast, or perhaps, bread in particular. If you are actually looking to tame this creature, then toast might be a way to go. If you are friendless, throw that toast over the lake and wait for it to eat it. If you received no tentacle smack for littering in its literal deemed property, then you might've gained a beast as a friend! This is still a question between magizoologists, on why it can digest bread when a normal one cannot, and why it preferred it so. I also prefer toast, if someone is actually interested. ┏ 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚝 #𝟹: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 ┛ Summer, am I right? Joking, I just said that to gain your favour since I actually preferred autumn and winter. Our resident Giant Squid here has a perfect habitat to indulge itself with the wonders of the sun. Perhaps for a great tan. Giant Squids adored basking in the sunlight, its tentacles dancing in the air as long as the sunlight stremed in its spot. Dancing in the sunlight and sunbathing had been a hobby that when in winter, if the sun managed to show itself, it will break the brittle surface of the frozen Great Lake to sunbathe. It is a beautiful thing to witness too! Don't disturb him if you can if you don't want a tentacle smack or a splash of the murky lake water. Trust me on this one. ┏ 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚝 #𝟺: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝚂𝙾𝙵𝚃 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝚃; 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚂! ┛ Yes, Giant Squids adored tickles! Now, I know some of you will be foolish enough to tickle its tentacles after reading this bit of the article. Don't be a moron, it also varies to squid to squid. But majority of them does adored tickles like our resident Giant Squid here. Now, don't go tickling the tentacle with your bare hands. Let's use our common sense here. You'd do better if you use a stick instead! If you managed to provoke it while tickling (you're no tickling expert) you might actually receive a tentacle smack instead of a tentacle dance and curl. This is why a swim in the Great Lake is strictly forbidden as well as interacting with the Giant Squid as outcomes are unpredictable as they come. Do it gently; gentle tickle, gentle tickle, gentle tickle... And it might actually favour you too! ┏ 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃 #𝟻: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙵𝙰𝙽𝙲𝚈 𝙱𝙴𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚂 ┛ They'll grow tired of your tickles. Because who the heck are you? You are only some random person who tickles it to gain its trust. They are a fancy beasts; they don't care about you! One thing about Giant Squids is they are fascinated with fancy and shiny things. They are aquatic Taylor Swifts of the Wizarding World. Chuck a reflective trinket in the Great Lake and if it appreciated your gift, you might receive several polished and shiny stones it keeps underwater. Warning though: let's not all be dumb and chuck a trinket so valuable unless you prepared to never see it again. You chucked it in the lake as a gift; there's no giving back! ┏ 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚞𝚜 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚝: 𝙶𝙸𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙱𝚂𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚂𝙷𝚁𝙸𝙼𝙿𝚂 ┛ This is already a given. Their diet consisted of crustaceans, so of course! But did you know that between 2010's and 2020's, during the Calamity, there existed an artefact discovered by a Calamity Investigator that works for the Statute of Secrecy Task Force, which enables the bearer to communicate with aquatic creatures and beasts, like Giant Squids. After obtaining the artefact, this certain Calamity Investigator successfully communicated with the Giant Squid in the Great Lake. However, this particular communication did not provide much useful information as our resident Giant Squid only talked about its obsession with shrimps and failed to talk about anything else. That is much to applaud, don't you think? Our majestic Giant Squid is focused only in its priorities! Love that! That's all there is to it! Giant Squids are fascinating beasts that gives no hippogriff dung, only tentacle smacks if provoked or tentacle dance underneath the sunlight stream! If your beloved and fantastic writer failed to entrance you to know these things about Giant Squids, then that perhaps is a you problem. I don't know what you are looking for here, if that's the case. If you enjoyed the article and have come to adore Giant Squids, especially our resident Giant Squid in the process, then I'm glad! They are underrated, in my very honest opinion. If no one can represent them then I might as well feature them in today's article (I'm totally not paid to do this)! 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙰𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙰 𝙼. 𝚅𝙰𝙻𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙴, 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙵𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴𝚁, 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙵𝙵!

Reducio

OOC: I had fun writing this, actually. Owl me for a review, I would love it! Ending this again with a gentle quote:

As Chowder famously said, “Last night I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup, and you were mustard. Which is weird, because usually you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?” You may ask, why that line? Well, I'm obsessed with it.