Potions Championship I So Much More Than Just A Blender PV Hanya

threading as Johannes Sauer
speaking in russian unless specified

Ever used to late-night studying and fed-up professors, Johannes had never really had a reliable lab partner, especially not one as familiarly bubbly as the Horde's beloved Valkyrie. Then again, he'd also never had a real task to plan around, only contingencies to hope against. Armed with Revive vials and bandaging charms, he'd mostly functioned as Durmstrang's spare paramedic. In comparison to Hogwarts' infamously disastrous balls, a potions championship was much preferred.

He'd gone duo with their dear Greta, whose sweet and surprisingly potions-savvy (or at least, savvy enough to ply his participation) enthusiasm brightened up the Great Hall's serious bustle. Luckily, unlike most other recipes, the Vitamix potion seemed quite forgiving time-wise. They probably didn't have to use a timer until the next round of brewing, not if they kept a close eye on it. Greta, hovering around their shared workspace like a butterfly in a bouquet, would likely fill in his weaknesses as he would for her. Just in case, their mise-en-place of ingredients and spare notebooks set off to the side would make it easy to track everything. “Just about. You got the asphodel?” Carefully scooping the thick paste of standard ingredient and tear-dropped wormwood essence into the cauldron, Johannes set aside the mortar and pestle to wash later.

Content to babysit the mixture as his partner ran circles around the championship's FAQ, he squinted briefly at random other stations' ingredients in the meantime. Greta's faith in him was astounding but Johannes, unfortunately, wasn't enough of a geek to immediately ID recipes from half-obscured bottles and heat strength. Even rough estimates felt like cheating in an open hall like this. He glimpsed a familiar face occasionally, though only enough to catch their mere participation as he managed the dry-heated cauldron. “I think I know one or two people, though no one from Durmstrang. Kind of sad, but things have been insane recently. I don't blame them for avoiding more inevitable ambushes...” Understandable, yet a pity nonetheless! He'd expected more upperclassmen to participate but, from the looks of things, Hogwarts apparently only contained young enthusiasm and the token teenage trio to balance it out. Were they the diversity hire?

“I've only ever read about Swooping Evils, but my theory is that these are cocoons close to hatching. Like, just enough to lure us into a false sense of security and then...!” He mimicked an exploding noise, using jazz hands to emphasise the inevitably chaotic craze of a stealth mission gone wrong. “They immediately try to fuck us up.” Spawn kills, or something like that. Unfortunately for them, their real incentive to avoid hurting any of the swooping evil cocoons didn't quite extend to their little guards. “...Though, I don't know if Hogwarts has the logistics to pull that on all of us.”

“A bit embarrassing?” Quite charmed at the sheer inconvenience of getting one's brains eaten, Johannes couldn't stifle his amusement in echoing Greta's concerns. “You're not more worried about the small army of students who'd jump the fence to save you? I heard they pack a mean punch.” It was funny-- no matter how much he teased, there was more of an ocean of evidence than a kernel of truth in Durmstrang's overprotectiveness. Their Valkyrie seemed to gain new admirers daily (much to the Horde's chagrin) and Johannes knew full well how much hot water he'd be in if she got hurt on his watch. “Don't worry, I won't let you get zombified anytime soon. Even if the rest of them aren't here, we've got each other's backs, right? I trust in us.” He shot Greta a reassuring grin, fittingly confident in Durmstrang's skill and perhaps uncharacteristically optimistic about the whole affair. Between the unconventional strategy, potioneering and duty towards non-lethal takedowns, they had this in the bag.

A sudden thought occurred to him as he turned back to approve of the paste's rapidly evening colour. “Okay, so I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but...” Did zombies even exist in the wizarding world? If vampires, lycanthropes and ghosts roamed the Earth, were scientific accidents like zombie infections too technologically advanced to be combined with a society that still regularly used candlelight? Was it offensive to compare a bunch of intelligent native species of beasts to the shambling dead...? Surely the singular existence of zombie movies predated wizarding ignorance. “If you were a zombie, what kind would you be? Hypothetically, of course.”