The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #37

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Prehistoric Pureblood Practices: Modernise Magical Marriages!
────────────────────by Aly Salinger────────────────────

It’s not an uncommon belief that youthful romantic relationships at Hogwarts have spiralled quite a bit out of control. First-years snogging in the corridors, second-years fancying sixth-years, and dramatic breakups affecting inter-house unity? What has the world come to? One might argue that all of this pressure to enter the amorous scene so quickly in students’ young lives stems from an antiquated wizarding belief that the younger wix are married, the better. This point of view is especially prevalent amongst pureblood families and blood purists, in which parents may not only push their children into adolescent nuptials, but also force them to get engaged before they’re even of age – and decide their child’s life partner x────────────x xx without consent. Yes, you read that right – let’s discuss the barely-legal, ancient pureblood tradition of compulsory underage betrothals. To make this clearer, it’s not that pureblood parents are prone to pushing their progeny into pledging their troths before they’re even legally allowed to use magic outside of school. The children are simply being promised, not actually married – at least, not until they’re of age to do so. Various cultures of Muggles worldwide seem to be doing away with ancient marriage traditions such as wedding one’s cousin or arranging one’s future spouse. x────────────x	xx	─ ❝ ──────── ──────────┓ x Let’s discuss the barely-legal, ancient pureblood tradition of compulsory underage betrothals. ── x┗────────── x❞ x───────────────────────────x Muggles in England, in fact, stopped seeing youthfully-organised betrothals in the eighteenth century; instead, they pushed for an individual’s right to choose their betrothed, and it is a crime in Muggle England today to force someone (especially a child) to marry someone else. Sorcerous society, on the other hand, is still rather entrenched in the tradition. x────────────x xx x────────────x
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Just ask any one of many already-engaged students at Hogwarts, some of whom were betrothed as young as their early teens: for instance, Slytherin’s own Opeila Winters – or is it Virtanen now? Anyway, Winters was betrothed to Ilvermorny student Miles Thatcher when the pair were, respectively, fifteen and fourteen. Naturally, this cross-the-pond engagement was a result of parental meddling and political pursuits – both on the parts of Winters’ official guardians and Thatcher’s parents, the latter of whom are none other than renowned magizoologists Aldrich and Emmeline Thatcher. It’s sensible to want to align one’s family with another, equally powerful one, but to do so by promising your teenager’s life away may be a bit of an overstep.	xx	Then again, it’s not like these teenagers don’t still have free will! In fact, many betrothed purebloods may have dalliances outside their engagement – perhaps proving that they may not have wanted to be promised in the first place. Winters and Thatcher, specifically, have both been said to have dated out-of-contract in the past. For those of you at Hogwarts, Miss Winters has been previously involved with two other current sixth years: Gryffindor Alec Mason and, most recently, Hufflepuff heartbreaker Aaron Jones. She was also spotted publicly snogging Slytherin Percival Gray at this summer’s Mistletoe Spin. If you were engaged and wanted to be so, would you philander about with others whilst waiting to turn of age to marry? Methinks not!
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Not every betrothal is against the participants’ will, though. Because of these common cases of contrived child coupling, it might even be argued that students at Hogwarts idealise this type of untimely union, even going so far as to offer marriage to one’s significant other before even taking one’s first O.W.L. Fresh in everyone’s minds ─────────────────

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. If you were engaged and wanted to be so, would you philander about with others whilst waiting to turn of age to marry? ── x┗─────────── x❞

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will be the pink-pigmented public proposal at this year’s Fall Ball, in which resident redhead item Mathias Pride and Winnie Harper officially put a ring on it. Perhaps one of the school’s most controversial couples, this incident did nothing to reduce their notoriety – and it has the school talking, not all of it good. ─────────────────

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Muggle-born students who are just now learning of this less-than-modern magical practice are calling the concept “completely wack”, as with young Slytherin Matthew Campbell, who called the pureblood concept of keeping bloodlines ‘pure’ “nothing but ignorance”. “To me, love isn’t transactional,” said Campbell, who also admitted about Muggle dating life: “Things aren’t perfect in the Muggle world… but at least it’s genuine.”	xx	Even students from strongly magical families have begun to take stands against early betrothals, though they are perhaps not as keen to share their opinions so publicly. One anonymous wizard-born student called arranged marriages “unethical” and “very disrespectful”, telling the Headliner, “This isn’t your marriage, but your kids’. You have no reason to interfere in their choices.” x─────────────────────x	xx	How many purebloods, then, might agree with this stance? How many children could have been saved from unhappy marriages, once they came of age, if they’d had someone stand up for them during their youth? How many seemingly perfect relationships have actually been brought on by the heavy familial indoctrination of boyhood betrothals within wizarding kids’ burgeoning young minds? x─────────────────────x
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❝ ────────────────────────────────── ──────────┓ x ─. Reflect on this, then, and decide for yourself if you agree with this bold statement: stop the prehistoric practice of early engagements, and modernise magical marriages! ── x┗────────── x❞

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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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Boredom Breakers for Class
By Oonagh Brown
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We all know the issue of classes going on forever and not being able to find a way to pay attention much longer (if one had paid attention at all in the first place), when boredom strikes. What some students are, however, completely unaware of, or seem oblivious to, are great ways to break said boredom. Considering this is the start of another term, lack of interest and boredom are wired into our brains. We are students, after all! This does not just go for those of us who would rather not be in class at all, but also for those who feel ahead of the curriculum. Good news for you, however: there are many fun ways to at least kill some time and make classes go further. A list of 5 ways to kill time is: games, messages, pranks, distractions, and interruptions.──────────────

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1. Games Well, of course, the most logical thing to do would be to pay attention, but who in their right mind would choose to do that when they could play games instead? There are a few games one could play, most famously the game of Tic Tac Toe, which, admittedly, might sound boring at first, but is always fun. One thing you should remember, for the above-mentioned game is that you need a quill, ink and parchment or some paper that you won’t feel bad about wasting. Another game would only need paper and is a much better use of your time as it is much more enjoyable: turn them into little paper spheres, and try to flick them at people in the rows in front of you. The further in the back you sit, the more likely you are to get away with it, and the higher you can score as the further the row is away from you, the more points you can score. Make it a competition with your neighbour, perhaps, for some extra challenge.──────────────────────────────── 2. Messages Well, this one is pretty self-explanatory and only requires you to have friends… or enemies! Simply write secret messages to either and wait for them to reply back. It is a bonus if you combine the game of throwing paper at other students with the notes on paper. xx xx 3. Pranks Pranks can be mean, but for the person who sets up the prank, it is usually pretty fun. Here are a few suggestions that could sabotage your enemies or friends and make them think twice about messing with you while you can sit back and enjoy as they figure it out eventually. One is Invisible Ink: simply switch out another person’s ink with one that will disappear over time, leaving them with a lack of notes at the end of class. Another thing is to mess with someone’s stuff. Just keep in mind that whenever they are focused on something else, it's time to switch out their materials or place them elsewhere within their stuff. Watch as they are confused or try to fight you once they grow suspicious of you.

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4. Distractions And by that, I mean distract yourself. Find something that can grab your attention. Perhaps watch others or start to doodle on your notes. Other than that, you could count things or do random stuff. Perhaps consider having something you could fidget with? Some things make it easier to fidget, like things that have a tag or something that can be manipulated. Otherwise, consider bringing something specifically to class for this. Other than that, consider braiding your hair if you have long enough hair.	xx	5. Interruptions Be aware that this is likely to land you in detention, which makes it all the more exciting. Distract the professor or the other students. Talk to your friends, and do not care about being an interruption. Or specifically interrupt the professor by either making noises or answering their questions in witty ways that the professor might not be expecting. In short: be a nuisance and channel the chaos to make others suffer at the cost of your boredom.	xx	═══════════════════════ Be aware that while I stand by those methods, your actions will have consequences such as possibly landing yourself in detention, making new enemies or awakening your inner artist. ═══════════════════════
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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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Pet Spotlight: Feline Familiars
by Rebecca Lark
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One of the hardest decisions I had to make during my time at Hogwarts was what pet I wanted to bring with me to school. Whatever pet you choose will become your companion for the entirety of your academic career (barring any unforeseen accidents), so choosing the right pet can have a sort of inflated weight attached to it. It’s important to pick the pet that’s right for you, rather than whatever seems like the coolest or most popular choice; however, there’s so many options to choose from that picking just one can feel daunting.	xx	When I went to the Menagerie during the winter hols last year, it was with the intention of bringing a cat back home with me. Instead, I found my ferret, Crumb: the sweetest, silliest, and all-around dumbest creature I could ever imagine. I wouldn’t trade Crumb for anything, but it’s interesting to look back at the paths not taken, the what-could-have-beens. As such, for those of you who will be choosing a pet this year, I intend to walk you through each of your myriad of options. I’ll be starting with my initial choice: cats. Currently, the Magical Menagerie has eleven different breeds of cats on offer: the Silver Siberian, the Silver Mackerel Tabby, the Red Mackerel Tabby, the Egyptian Mau, the Red Classic Tabby, the Bengal, the Chartreux, the Classic Siamese, the Brown Classic Tabby, the Gray Mackerel Tabby, and the Bewitched Midnight Stalker. While you’ll see standard associated personalities for each breed listed on signage at the shop, you should take care to remember that cats each have their own unique personalities, like people do. There’s no guarantee that your purportedly gentle and low-energy Chartreux won’t end up as a chatty, high-maintenance familiar with a love for adventure and an endless fount of energy. Don’t believe everything you see on the tin.
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Cats are great for the students who want a more up-close-and-personal companion. If you’re looking for a pet to sit with you while you study and cuddle you when you’re sad, then a cat might be a good option for you. Cats also tend to be more independent creatures, and most are happy to live their own lives, wandering about the castle while you attend your classes. Cats don’t require any complicated terrariums or enclosures, and though maybe less useful than an owl in the sense that they can’t deliver your letters (unless they’re very talented), they’re sturdy, portable and can accompany you most anywhere you’d like to go at Hogwarts.

To better understand the benefits of choosing a cat, I put out a call to our student body, asking them the following questions: one, why did you choose a cat, and two, what is your favourite part about having one?

"I've wanted to get a cat since I first visited Diagon Alley. There were all these amazing animals but I felt drawn to the cats the most. My overall favourite thing about her is that she's always there for me when I'm sad." – Elizabeth Stonewall "There's hundreds of animals I could have as a pet. Nothing else matches me as well as cats do. Cats either love people, or they're ready to fight you, just like me. I was lucky enough to have Casey wander into my life. He's my heart and soul and everything I love about the world. I don't really relate to lots of magical people, but I can always relate to Casey. Cats are understanding. Casey specifically. We're also both picky about people, so when no one else meets our standard, I can meet his and he can meet mine." – Sage Willows	xx	“I always loved cats!! I never thought I’d get to have one for myself, but when my mum let me, I got Dauncey because he was the biggest one there. Nobody wanted him because he wasn’t a kitten, but I love his size, even if he sometimes sits on my homework! He’s great for cuddling with after a long day and is my beloved big boy.” – Aly Salinger “Buttons is my little guy! He may seem like a lazy, sleepy cat. But honestly he’s been there for me through everything. He was the first living thing that found out I was non-binary. He’s perfect honestly, I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s my best friend.” – Dorion Anderson "Hermes is a little shit." – Astra Norrick
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With the exception of certain “little shit” cats, it’s clear that cats can be some of the most loving companions available on the market. I’d still take Crumb over a cat any day, but if you’re looking to find yourself a new furry friend, a cat might just be the purrfect choice for you.

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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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Magical & Muggle Meals: Soup Leaky, Leaky by Aly Salinger Welcome back to Magical & Muggle Meals – and this time, not only do we have a fantastically soupy new recipe for you, there’s some steaming hot tea to go with it. The gossip kind, not the brewed kind. xxIn the September edition of the Headliner, a rather accusatory article (written by yours truly) was published in critique of the popular Diagon Alley pub and lunch-stoppe known as the Leaky Cauldron. The article alleged that the ten different soups offered on the pub’s Luncheon Menu were actually none other ───────────────────── xx than one large, same soup being sold at varying prices to fool diners into paying more for a lesser lunch. In order to clear the air, we have acquired the Leaky Cauldron’s recipe for one of these ten luncheon soups: the Soup Leaky, Leaky. xxOr so they claim, anyway… so we beg you, the readers, to test out this purported recipe (which seems to be similar to that of a standard cheesy-potato soup) against the Soup Leaky, Leaky one can order for lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. We’ll see if this truly matches up… ─────────────────────

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Soup Leaky, Leaky
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Serves: 6 hungry customers, allegedly
Time: Just over 1 hour, supposedly

Ingredients: ▫ 4 potatoes (NOT garden gnomes – these are oftentimes difficult to distinguish) ▫ 1 cup dragon butter (*cow butter) ▫ ½ cup Wizarding Wheat Self-Charmed Flour (*all-purpose flour) ▫ 4 cups dragon milk (*cow milk) ▫ 2 cups dragon milk half-and-half (*cow half-and-half) ▫ 1 cup Gillywater (*still water) ▫ 2 teaspoons minced garlic** ▫ 2 teaspoons pepper ▫ 2 teaspoons salt ▫ 1 cup shredded dragon milk cheese (*cheddar) ▫ ½ cup soured cream ▫ 4 Gurdyroots (*green onions)

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*Muggle Alternative
**Should be omitted if vampires are among the intended consumers.

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Directions
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𝟭| Ensure that your potatoes are not secretly garden gnomes, and then use the potato-peeling spell and the Severing Charm (Muggle alternative: peeler and knife) to peel and cut your potatoes into even cubes. Also slice your Gurdyroots, ridding yourself of the ends and leaving only the middle part sliced into small, even pieces. 𝟮| Put a large cauldron over a medium fire and use this to melt your butter. When melted, stir in your flour and ensure that it incorporates fully rather than clumps. 𝟯| To your cauldron, add the dragon milk, half-and-half, Gillywater, and cubed potatoes. Also add about half of your sliced Gurdyroots. 𝟰| Using the back of a fork, and not the Smashing Spell as that will explode your entire kitchen, smash some of the potatoes (but not all) for texture. ────────────────────────────

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𝟱| Turn your fire to a high heat until your concoction boils; once it has boiled, turn your fire to a low heat, put the cauldron lid atop your cauldron, and allow the soup to simmer for twenty minutes. 𝟲| Uncover your cauldron, then add your dragon milk cheese, pepper, salt, and garlic (if you have ensured vampires are not among your guests). Recover your cauldron and allow the soup to simmer for twenty more minutes. 𝟳| Uncover your cauldron once more once the time has passed and stir in the soured cream. Allow the soup to simmer for five more minutes. 𝟴| Serve, sprinkled with extra sliced Gurdyroots and dragon milk cheese! And make sure you don’t overcharge anyone for eating it… ────────────────────────────

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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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This month I present to you an event rather than an item! And instead of one event, I’m telling you about FOUR events! These are the “Big Four” fashion week events that happen across the globe. This is an opportunity for famous fashion designers to present their collections for the next season, so fashion weeks happen biannually. Most of the time they happen around February and September, but it can vary. February timeframe gives opportunities to present the fall and winter collections, while September presents the spring and summer collections.	xx	───────────── Muggle Item of the Month: Fashion Week Dorion Anderson ───────────── The big four occur in New York City, London, Milan, and Paris. Each one kind of has their own purpose and sort of expectation surrounding them. You’re not going to find the same fashion at each one, because there’s so much to see! Smaller fashion weeks are held in Copenhagen, Berlin, Madrid, São	xx	Paulo, Shanghai, and Tokyo. New York Fashion Week (NYFW) was the first of the four major fashion weeks, created by Eleanor Lambert in 1943. It was an opportunity to showcase American fashion innovations and designers since a lot of people couldn’t travel to France at the time. Its original name was Press Week, since the purpose was to essentially market the next season of clothing to be distributed by the press to retailers.
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	xx	To jump back into the past even further than that, Paris really started the concept of fashion weeks before New York’s became a major one. In the late 1800s, French designers often hired women to wear the couture out in public to generate buzz about the pieces that they were wearing. Over time, these evolved into ‘parades’ that eventually became fashion shows. Designer Paul Poiret ended up holding the first Paris Fashion Week, holding a series of galas and events to showcase his designs, and requested his guests wear beautiful clothing items to	xx	reflect his own work – only the best for Poiret! The first official Paris Fashion Week happened in 1973! Milan is widely considered as the fashion capital of the world, so it’s no surprise that they ended up with one of the Big Four of fashion shows! They held their inaugural fashion week in 1958, and they hold separate women’s and men’s fashion weeks rather than the two being combined into one general fashion week. They are the only one of the four that do this, which is what makes their shows unique!
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To finish off with a place that is closer for a lot of us, is the London Fashion Week! They were the last on the scene, starting in 1984! In 2009, the Burberry brand really changed the game with what the fashion industry calls “see now, buy now” fashion shows. Whatever people saw on the runway was available to buy, which wasn’t the standard, because generally, the fashion shows were for retailers to figure out what they would want to purchase for the upcoming season. This really started the shift in what fashion weeks presented.	xx	Each region has its own deep and personal story with fashion, and I’m going to be honest… I like to see what people are wearing to fashion shows more than I enjoy the fashion shows themselves. For my Muggle-born friends, I highly recommend exploring your TikTok for you page around fashion week time to see what people are wearing. They’re SO beautiful, and it’s one of my bucket list items to someday attend the London Fashion Week. x───────────────────────────────────x
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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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A Nod to NaNo
by Rebecca Lark
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I joined the Headliner team because I felt like I had something to say. Well, partially, I joined because I was bored, but also because sometimes it feels easier to articulate the enormity of the world through quill and paper, rather than through spoken word. I think many of us feel this way – that there’s a certain sort of power and freedom to be found in writing, whether for the Headliner or just for ourselves. November is National Novel Writing Month for Muggles, an event often shortened to NaNoWriMo. I will readily admit to you all that I loathe reading (ironic, for a Headliner writer, but that’s why I’m not an editor). While I do enjoy writing articles, books are a whole other beast, and can take anywhere from months to decades to write. The idea of sitting at a desk for that long sounds awful. The goal of NaNoWriMo, though, is to reduce all those excruciating months of unending suffering, and get a fifty thousand word novel written in just thirty terrifying days.	xx
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NaNoWriMo first began in 1999, meaning that 2024 is the 25th year of holding the event. Over the years, NaNoWriMo has grown significantly from its humble roots; in the first year of NaNoWriMo, there were 21 participants and 6 total books completed, while in 2022, there were over 400,000 participants and almost 52,000 books written. It is now considered to be the big event for writers.	xx	The rules for NaNoWriMo are simple: one, each writing project must be new; two, only one author per novel; and three, all novels must be completed by midnight on November 30th. In order to finish in time, each author must write an average of 1667 words a day. If this sounds fun to you, rather than like a particularly loud cry for help, then I’ve compiled a list of tips and tricks for writing your first novel, to give you the best possible chance of completing it in thirty days. Set up a plan for your book by breaking it up into small, manageable parts. Staring down all fifty thousand of those words at once sounds exhausting; instead, take the time to figure out the main beats of your story, and create a rough outline of what you want your novel to look like. Then you can select individual portions or scenes to work on each day, rather than trying to write your novel in chronological order. Set a writing schedule, and stick to it. If you skip a day of writing, your required word count for each subsequent day will increase. If you know your schedule can vary, be sure to plan ahead. Perhaps you can aim for a lower word count on weekdays, while setting a higher goal for the weekends. Form a group. The purpose of NaNoWriMo is to give you a support network of people all striving for the same goal, so that you can all motivate each other towards the finish line. If you can form a writing group, you’ll be much less likely to give up halfway through. Keep your research organised. Ideally, you’ll want to do any necessary research in the months prior to NaNoWriMo, so that you can write uninhibitedly. Keeping your research organised and easily accessible will allow you to waste less time seeking out answers during the writing process.
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Good luck to those of you who will be attempting this challenge. There’s a long line of authors past and present supporting you, and with any luck, we’ll see your novel on our library’s shelves someday soon.

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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06

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Colours of Melancholy
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❝ Nothing Gold Can Stay By: Robert Frost Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. ❞ ──────────────────

══════════════════════════ Autumn comes with a need for a tight embrace of cosiness, something to comfort us, to hold us while we are coming back to our normal routines and responsibilities. After the excesses and freedom of summer, the time comes to regain balance, to return home, to accept the changes and face our challenges, to focus on what is most dear to us. It is the season to return to what centres us with our true essence, to turn back to what teaches us how to care, and to pay attention, because autumn reminds us that nothing is eternal. As the proverbial wisdom says: ─ ❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. Fall is a season for balancing light and dark, letting go, and accepting the impermanence of things. ── x┗────────── x❞	xx	We all have our favourite things: our favourite hobbies, our favourite people, those we hold close to our hearts. For me personally, the image of a cosy autumn begins with the sound of a crackling fire in the fireplace, and the first rain that falls as the blanket of darkness begins to stretch, smoothing away the once-melting summer sun. These rhythms are like a lullaby for my perfect fall soundtrack. That's when you know it's time to light some candles and indulge in the scents of pumpkin, cinnamon, berries, fallen leaves and new books. Wrap yourself in layers of comfortable textures, sit back with a hot cup of tea by your side, and lose yourself in the pages of a new romance title. The world takes its natural course outside, and we rest inside our place of comfort, preparing ourselves for what is to come with a sense of nostalgia and melancholy,	xx	enjoying the landscape transforming into shades of red, orange, yellow and brown. Autumn is also synonymous with homemade meals, baked goods, gathering around with family and friends. Because we see how frail life can be, how quickly it comes and goes, even if unconsciously, we yearn for quality time with those that are important to us. In several cultures, celebrations that bring us together take form, joining us and making us appreciate those sweet moments and share all the best we have. Life is a circle, and autumn is the season that makes us stop and reflect. It makes us self-aware and teaches us to care and see that there is also beauty in goodbyes. Nothing is here to stay, and what we leave behind gifts us with new opportunities. Like a Phoenix, autumn is the ashes that make life possible. by Meyra Lancaster
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BOREDOM BREAKERS PG. 03

PETS PG. 04

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MEALS PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 06