All Was Wrong, Now Is Right Solo Fin

Part 2 of the Gender Crisis

Willow didn't come out of her room that much after that interaction. The only time she ever left was to use the bathroom or eat dinner with her family. Though, lately they had started letting her excuse herself to her room. Whatever it was that was going on it seemed like they gave in to the fact that Willow needed a bit of time to herself. Her days began to be a spiral of article after after after video after research journal after interview. An endless scrolling and clicking ritual as her eyes passed over the information trying to latch onto a concise answer, a concise reason for why she felt the way she did.

Everything that she read about gender and possibly being trans had an echo of truth within her. Nothing ever completely pinned what she was saying, but it was close. She began to seriously consider the possibility, and when she got far enough into it she turned to the one person she consistently turned to. Flash. Thank goodness texting existed, because the idea of owling back and forth about this truly took years off of her life.

'Hey, do you have a sec?' She also attached a picture of Buttons to ease any tension that might come up.

'Of course. Hello Buttons' In return Flash sent her a picture of Nico in his little enclosure.

'Oh hello precious baby! This is just a hypothetical, what if I was your… sibling or maybe even brother. And not, your sister.' This was maybe the worst way to phrase it but this was new to her. She watched as the bubbles popped up and then went a way a few times. The whole time her eyes were glued to the screen, waiting for a response. Waiting for understanding.

'I don't understand the point of your question. Are you trying to tell me I have gender bias? I assure you, I treat you based on how you treat me. I do have a lot of female friends, I admit. Is something wrong?'

'No, no, no that’s not it. I don’t know how to say it.' Her text went off rapid fire, trying to ease the idea that she was criticizing him. If anything this was all a criticism on herself. But she didn't... really know how to follow up. Of course he was going to be confused, she was being cryptic and weird. Two texts went off rapid fire after a few minutes of typing and deleting and chewing on her lip.

'I think I’m not a girl.'
'But i don’t know if I’m a boy either?' Luckily this time she didn't have to wait too long for a response.

'Oh. Alright. Sorry.'
'No matter what you are, you are loved by me.'
'Even if you were transfigured into a pig. ' Willow couldn't help but let out a slight puff of air through her nose, not quite a laugh but certainly more of a laugh than she had had in days.

'Please don’t transfigure me into a pig. But that’s good to know, thank you. I’m still figuring it out. But it’s nice to know my breakdown was for a reason, you know?' There was a weight off of her shoulders. They talked for a bit more about how this had given her some relief. That there was a reason for everything that she was feeling last year.

Her eyes rolled over to the door. It had been about a week since she had talked to her parents- well. Talked was a strong word for it. Over the last few years of Hogwarts she had been pushing her parents further and further away. Once her grandma died it seemed to be expedited. There was just... a lot going on. So much that her parents didn't understand, couldn't understand. They were muggles. Balancing the two worlds seemed nearly impossible. But then again... she never really gave them the chance to try.

A glance at the clock told her dinner would be started soon.

Legs swung haphazardly off the bed, almost taking Buttons with them. "I don't have a name picked out or anything." Her voice came at barely a mumble. Buttons' ears perked up, but there was a good chance he was expecting an apology that wouldn't come. "I should come to them with like- the whole thing right?" She turned back towards her cat, gently stroking his head. "Everyone has each other's name though.. I feel like. I don't know."

Willow Rowena Anderson.

The name felt like a foreign object lodged in her throat. A typo on an otherwise flawless birth certificate. Her mom made sure it was always in immaculate condition. That was the last piece of this puzzle. Figuring out what everyone would call her. Would call... them. They weren't a she anymore. They hadn't ever been, really. It had just taken fourteen years to figure it out. From the moment that her mom, Owena, was pregnant she knew what Willow's name would be. There was a part of Willow that wanted to cling to Rowena. Cling to the one piece of their grandma that they could always carry with them, no matter what changed.

First names were important though. With a heavy sigh Willow pulled their laptop back onto their chest, awkwardly half-hanging off the bed. They didn't think they would look at baby name websites until much later in their life but they couldn't think of a better place to start.

Flash's texts were written by Flash and I've received permission to use them in the thread.

Final Part of the Gender Crisis
☁ Backdated ☁
End of August

It took until the end of August, nearly the day before they were supposed to be heading back to Hogwarts to work up the bravery to talk to their parents about who they were. For some reason, they were deeply nervous. This wasn't going to be a huge deal or anything, they knew their parents would love them anyway. They had attended pride parades because both of their parents identified as bisexual, just like Willow did. They hadn't even really felt the need to come out to them about it. But this, well, this required a change of how they referred to them. So they had to get the notice. They were also hoping they would contact the Headmaster or something to help with this transition as well.

Still, they would be the first people that officially would get their new name and everything. They knew there was going to be a lot of tears, a lot of emotion, and honestly if they could swing it maybe they would go out to dinner like they were supposed to earlier this month but they never did because of their little- moment. They could at least get ice cream or something. Mixed with the nervousness was the excitement to do this for the first time. Which was- admittedly a weird feeling.

But before telling their mum and dad, they wanted to go visit and tell one other person too. They had set their alarm to when the first streams of light would be coming over the horizon since they knew their parents would (hopefully) not be up that early. They donned what they called their "coming-out outfit" because they wanted the memory of them coming out to be dressed cute, and headed out. This coming out fit included a pair of brown corduroy shorts, and a pale cream shirt with plant illustrations on it. They threw on some long floral socks, a pair of converse, and called it good. Just because it was before the sun could warm the ground, they grabbed a small blanket and a pale green cardigan and headed out. After much protest, Buttons agreed to come with too, despite it being far too early for him.

The walk to their grandmother's grave was familiar. The fields of daisies they had planted on their way out of bloom in the next month or so, but still bright white and beautiful. They laid out the blanket to the side of where the grand matriarch would have been laid to rest, and after moving Buttons out of the way no less than 3 times before finally being picked up instead of shooed, Willow sat on the blanket with a deep sigh. "I know it's been awhile, and I'm sorry for that." Their hand traced the carvings of the headstone, brushing off any debris that had come to rest. "I've been having a hard time, I know you've seen it. I wish you were here, to give me some advice." The tears came early, hot and streaming down their face already.

"I know it takes time to figure out who you are, but I thought I would maybe have more time to figure it out before I like- really had to deal with it, you know?" The sleeve of their cardigan came up and wiped the puddles dripping down their face away. "I've kind of- forced everyone away. Because I didn't want to have to pretend everything was ok. Because it wasn't. I just- I didn't know. It was hard. But I think I figured it out, maybe?" A deep, shuddering sigh as they looked away from the grave as if it was the eye's of Rowena Anderson. "Lots of people say you don't have to know who you are, especially this young. But I wanted to like- have an idea at the very least." Buttons, finally reading the room and figuring out Willow was not doing well, climbed onto their lap and laid his head down on their knee. A soft rumbling purr resonated through his body, which helped Willow calm a bit.

"I think... I think I'm non-binary. That's where I'm at right now. I'm not a boy or a girl. I'm somewhere- in between or not at all. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out what it means. But um, I know family names are really big with us. I'm keeping Rowena... at the very least. I think I want to take dad's name. I know he gave up his last name to carry ours, and I want to carry him with me just like I carry you and mum. So- Dorion. I guess, not junior though. I don't want to be junior. I just want to be Dorion." The tears had already slowed with the declaration of the name, feeling like a relief and a confirmation to finally say it out loud. "I just wanted you to be the first to know. Um, I really love you... and miss you." They scooched closer, laying their head sideways on top of the cold stone, and they stayed there for a long while. Buttons kept purring as the newly declared Dorion started to pet his head. The tears stopped fully after awhile, but Dorion didn't rush them. They had plenty of time to cry for once.

It had been a couple hours according to their phone that they made their way back finally, the sun had proper warmed the grove and Dorion's skin. Their parents were in the living room with cups of coffee, surprised to see Dorion walk through the front door fully dressed.

"We thought you were still asleep, sweet sapling. Where did you go?" Their mum had sounded slightly concerned, but Dorion really didn't have a habit of getting into too much trouble.

"I was out with grandma, just wanted to spend some time with her." Their smile was not as sad as it usually was, but rather, bittersweet. Their dad had walked over to them to take the blanket out of their hand and deposited it in a laundry basket just around the corner.

"Well that's good, I'm sure she missed you. We haven't had breakfast yet. What would you like, Willow?" Their dad had come back over and given them a kiss on their head.

"Dorion-" Their voice blurted, betraying them for not the first time in their time home. Their parents seemed shocked, their sweet daughter having never referred to either of them by their first names. "Uh- I want... Um, can we sit?" Whatever scolding had been growing, died on the tips of their tongues as they realized that Dorion needed to tell both of them something. Their dad herded them to sit on the couch, their mum pulling her legs in from being stretched out so Dorion could sit between them.

"I trial ran this with grandma... but I don't- um... I don't know how to do this with two people who can talk back." A morbid moment, but luckily both of the adults had let it pass. They felt their mum's hand gently rubbing their back, and their dad's hand gentle on their shoulder, rubbing small circles on the joint with his thumb. Their silence was a Goddess-sent gift. "I'm- I'd like to be Dorion now, Dorion Rowena Anderson. And, I use they/them pronouns. I think... I think I'm non-binary." Their eyes stayed glued to a particularly interesting spot on their flooring, a knot in the wood they had never noticed before.

Their dad's voice broke the silence after several long moments, shaky and hesitant, "You named yourself- after me?" He swept his newly named child into his arms, coffee long forgotten, tears wet against Dori's bald head. "Oh, my sweet sapling. Look at how you've grown." They felt their mum scooch close to join the embrace.

"Daaaaaaaaaad..." They whined against the crushing embrace, "You're crushing me!" In response, both of their parents squeezed tighter.

"This is what you've been holding all on your own for so long?" All three of them were crying at this point, tears falling and intermingling in a river of love and understanding. "Dorion, we love you no matter what. No matter who you are. Even if you don't know exactly what that looks like yet." They felt a kiss from their mum's direction pressed to their temple.

"Thank you." Their voice was barely audible, barely above a whisper. "But really, I can barely breathe." Their parents quickly pulled away, eyes red with their own floods of tears of acceptance and relief that their wizard child wasn't facing something worse than what they had before.

"I think this calls for celebration, hm? Maybe... pancakes for breakfast. Then, we'll head into London for the day. Oh my gosh, we can go shopping!" Their dad, ever excited for a shopping adventure.

"I think that's a good idea, we can order you a binder or something too, only if you want one! It won't come before you leave but we'll send you an owl. And we'll get dinner while we're there. We'll make a whole day of it!" Dori stared at their mum, a bit aghast at her excitement and preparedness for this event. Usually she avoided London at all costs.

"I- still have to pack for school guys." They really- had too many tasks to complete before school started again to be spending a whole day in London.

"Nonsense! We'll help you do that later. Come on, we'll go work on that while your mum makes breakfast. Shoo, shoo." They groaned, back to being a teenager again being given a task that they didn't really want to do.

"You guys are so annoying, but I love you." They got up and headed towards their room, Buttons close in tow to go back to his sun-bathing spot on their bed. As they entered their bedroom, they heard their dad whisper-yelling.

"They named themselves Dorion!" Some quiet platitude from their mum could be barely heard, and then the gross sound of them kissing which turned Dorion's quiet smile into a disgusted mime of them vomiting as they got to packing.