Blood Beyond Birth-Right PV Scout Fu-Hai Finished

october 9th, 2024		wednesday, after class
wc: 400		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Emily Shephard		mentioning: casey

so today, i can sleep embraced in warmth. / give me your night.

"I see."

Scout didn't know what she was expecting, why in the world would she be surprised that Emily did like such a color? Everyone liked red, everyone liked red. It was nice and pretty and went with everything and was the color of hearts and blood that people needed to live and- oh god, was Scout crying? What? Why in the world was she getting worked up over Emily liking some stupid color? It didn't matter what color it was, she couldn't cry over someone liking it!

Even if it was the color of the beautiful notebook her father had chosen, even if it was the color of her teeth when she ate red bean paste, even if it was the color of the blood-pop stash her dad kept in their fridge at all times, even... even if it was the color she hated so much! The color her hair was the color of her tie, the color everyone said she was because she was a stupid vampire. Everyone she went to school with was right and they didn't even know it!

"No, it's just- just-" What the hell is going on with you, Scout? Tears infinitely building up and the flashing shade of her trashed notebook flickered over and over, ugh. Was she going to throw up or something? Scout felt horrible, she didn't feel this bad during class! If only she could've actually gotten sick during it, then she could skip and go to the nurses office instead. That'd be a lot more fun than reminiscing on her horrible red-filled memories.

"Sorry, haha, what am I even doing?" She took the initiative to wipe her tears and roll her eyes. "Jeez, don't even know why I'm crying. Guess I just hate the color red that much, huh?" The inside of her wrists were damp from her salty tears and the texture made her cringe internally. "I think pink suits you the best, anyway."

Maybe it was a little obvious at her attempts to shift the conversation, but she hoped Emily would just ignore her crying and change the topic at hand too. "Um, are you- how are you and Casey?" If only she had a tissue, didn't her cousin always tell her to keep one on her anyway? Ugh, she didn't need to think about Asteria right now. It'd make her even more upset.

October 9th 2024
Seeing Red with @Scout Fu-Hai
Mentioning @AngelFyre McCubbin
Speech: #cfa120
Thoughts: Italics

Emily must've let her guard down too early if Scout's eyes were welling up with tears because she answered her question. At first she thought she had done something wrong but Emily recognised tears like them. Something more was going on underneath the layers of Scout that Emily already knew. A layer to her she'd never seen but would undoubtedly uncover very soon.

But that had to wait. Scout was crying and Emily was helpless to stop that. To see a friend in such a state... It was enough to make Emily upset.

"Scoutie...! Oh shoot, I don't have a hankerchief... Are you alright? Was it something I did, or said? Did I--"

"No, it's just- just-" . It took a few sniffles before Emily could hear Scout's confession. "Jeez, don't even know why I'm crying. Guess I just hate the color red that much, huh?"

"Red seems to bring you much disdain if that's why you're crying..." Emily mused quietly.

"Um, are you- how are you and Casey?"

That... Took Emily back a bit. How did Casey suddenly get caught into this? Was that what this was about?

"Casey and I... Are fine. We talk, sending letters and whatnot. I think he's coming out of his shell a bit more..." She neglected to mention how they were both investigating his brother, Emily's secret trips to the forest and how he's been helping her to solve a few mysteries of her own. Telling Scout would probably make her more worried and protective, and Emily felt bad for feeling clingy as it was.

That wasn't the issue right now though. Emily was still confused on why Scout was hot and dusty over the colour red.

Suddenly the cogs in the wheel began to turn. Scout's hair was red, but so was the blood that vampires drank. From how she had been talking about herself over the last few weeks, it was something about her heritage that was really upsetting her, rather than just the primary colour of the palette.

She sat them both down by the water's edge of the Great Lake. Emily was admittedly running out of things to say that could help her. Not because that she thought Scout wasn't listening - some things she did take on board - but nothing much else Emily could say would probably help. She was only human and wanted to understand magical beings. She internally groaned... If that's the case, then why help Scout at all if she was never going to properly feel what she was feeling??!

No, no. A terrible, defeatist attitude to have. Emily was better than that. When had she ever turned her back on someone screaming for help or affection? She didn't want Scout to be the first, that's for sure!

Man, what would AngelFyre say? She'd always been good at this kind of thing.

Emily suddenly lit up, a small smile as she reminisced that day. She was in almost an identical state of mind to Scout back then, sitting lifeless on the fountain as she questioned her purpose. Then AngelFyre came and suddenly all the emotions spilled over.

Unfortunately Emily didn't have lemon drops to offer to Scout to make her better. She did have something else though, something that just might help.

"Hang on... I know I brought it with me... A-ha!" She lifted out a small grey and reddish stone from the inside of her robes, placing it under Scout's watery eyed gaze.

"This little baby here is a bloodstone," Emily began. "It's one of many I keep for my day-to-day routine. It's a symbol of both protection and good health. Want to know why?" She smiled hopefully, getting a little excited for the pay off. "It's because of the red. The same red that runs in our bodies, the same red on roses and strawberries, the same red that gives you that lovely hair." She shuffled around a bit and pushed a small strand of Scout's hair behind her ear, still smiling affectionately.

"As well of course the same red that put you in Gryffindor for that brave, adventurous, protective bone in your body!" she poked Scout's cheek. "Oh Scoutie, I know maybe you don't feel ready to tell me what's been going on, but remember that you're more than what you might think. Red is just a colour. What it's in doesn't make it good or bad. It just so happens to make up some of the things that make us happy. And Scoutie... You make me happy!".

_{Word Count: 802}

Stats: Stamina: 7 | Strength: 6 | Evasion: 6 | Wisdom: 8 | Arc Power: 7 | Accuracy: 6
Abilities: Non-Human Enthusiast |Cat's Grace

october 9th, 2024		wednesday, after class
wc: 550		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Emily Shephard		mentioning: zyair

Damnit, Emily. Her attempt at comfort was nice, but that wasn't what Scout needed or wanted. All she prayed for was for this whole thing to blow over so she could pretend nothing had ever happened. Admittedly, it probably wasn't the healthiest way to cope with her negative emotions, but she couldn't help it. The frustration in her head was infinite and never-ending. Here she was, a sobbing mess in front of her best friend in the world, all because she had some shitty experiences a few years ago. Why wasn't she over this whole 'bullying' thing yet? It wasn't fair, and it didn't make sense! She never cried this hard when she fell from climbing trees, and she barely cried when her and Asteria fought!

Just knowing that Emily saw the color red and didn't immediately think of the notebook that laid in the trash bin at the end of the school day, knowing that her beloved friend didn't think of the icky red blood that dripped down the blood-pops her father ate, knowing that when Emily saw the color, she thought of beautiful things. It made Scout want to cry even harder, but after actually taking a moment to think everything through, she wiped her tears and shrugged.

"Yeah, it's a nice rock."

What else was she supposed to say? The color made her feel queasy, but at least Emily had nice reasoning. Protection and good health, Scout really wished she had both right now. Maybe if she felt more protected from society in Hogwarts and out of it, she'd feel more comfortable telling Emily and Zyair how she truly felt. If she knew she'd never be bullied for being a dhampir again, she'd tell them her secrets and fears.

But that wasn't possible. She would never be safe, there would never be a moment where she was free from criticization from the outside world and inside her own head. That was something that would never change, and she knew that. So, any thought or idea of being truly honest with anyone besides herself died the second she came to her senses. It wasn't fair, she wanted to tell Emily everything about her childhood, but... god, why would she? Now wasn't the right time- would there ever be a right time?

And Zyair... he had told Scout that he would wait forever. Until the end of time. If only she could believe him, how lovely of a dream would that be?

"You make me happy too, Em." Maybe Zyair's reasoning extended just a little bit to Emily. Scout knew if it came to her, she'd wait for forever to help Emily. Why was it impossible for her to believe her friend could genuinely want to help? To understand? "I just... it's been a long day, y'know?" That was an understatement. "And you're right, red is just a color. I can't help that it's the color of my stupid hair or the same stupid color as my stupid notebook- damnit!"

Tears started flowing again, damn it all, none of this was fair. Why did that stupid notebook have to be such a stupid color? Why was she even crying over this? None of it was fair at all!

October 9th 2024
Time Heals... Very Slowly with @Scout Fu-Hai
Speech: #cfa120
Thoughts: Italics

Oh...

That... Wasn't quite the reaction Emily was hoping for. Scout was appreciating her tiny bloodstone, so there was something. But other than that... It didn't quell any of the hurt Emily was seeing plastered on Scout's expression.

That could only mean one of two things; Emily's soft and friendly charm wasn't working anymore and she was as good as an oversaturated sugar fix - too sickly sweet that no one would even want to touch. Or, Emily was still on the right track to figuring out Scout's emotional downpour, but wasn't quite hitting the right notes to go forward towards seeing her buddy's face back to its feisty and cheery exterior that Emily remembered fondly.

There were a lot of mixed signals going on in Scout's expression that Emily could see. Splishes of gratitude for having someone to just sit with her, but also splashes of apprehensiveness and anxiety, like an unwillingness to speak out - and evidently so, as Scout went to completely shut down Emily's attempts at lifting her spirits by downplaying her own feelings even further. Scout didn't even need a shovel at this rate with how much she's been trying to bury her emotions.

"I just... it's been a long day, y'know?"

Good lord, Scout was starting to sound like Casey. And that was really saying something. Casey was a tough nut to crack to begin with when it came to his feelings before Emily managed to shovel it out of him - through a great venture of patience - but Scout seemed to somehow make it a lot harder to reconcile with. Probably because there was more to Scout than the layers of humanity Emily was already familiar with. Emily was really hoping she could get her out of her funk soon... She didn't want to have to spend at least two months trying to save Scout from her own depression... Casey alone was an adventure she did not want to repeat, least of all for her best friend, the fieriest, friendliest and energetic person she knew. It wasn't right!

Emily's shoulders sunk as she withdrew the bloodstone from Scout's gaze, putting it gently back inside her robe pockets. She made eye contact with the ground as she pondered on what to do next.

"I wish I could see what you see, Scoutie..." She found herself saying quietly. How ironic of a sentence too, for someone wanting to get to know and befriend every magical being she hoped would cross her path. If Emily couldn't get on the same page as Scout, then how the hell was she going to do it with any other magical being...? Her dream was as good as dead if that was the case.

A sudden outburst from Scout and another rainfall of tears prompted Emily to sit back up and hold her buddy softly in her arms.

"Hey, hey, hey... Shh..." She rubbed Scout's back as she used her sleeve to dry her cheeks, with Scout's already dampened by previous efforts.

Though now that Scout had said something, Emily was struggling to fight back against her inquisitive side.

"What's all this about a notebook, hm...?"

_{Word Count: 570}

Stats: Stamina: 7 | Strength: 6 | Evasion: 6 | Wisdom: 8 | Arc Power: 7 | Accuracy: 6
Abilities: Non-Human Enthusiast |Cat's Grace

october 9th, 2024		wednesday, after class
wc: 450		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Emily Shephard		mentioning: meow

"It- it's nothing."

But it wasn't nothing, it was everything all at once. When Scout had the misfortune of thinking about herself, she could've sworn she saw the same shade of red in her notebook as the bloodstone Emily held, as the color of her hair, the color of her tie. Even if one was maroon or the other was pastel, it all felt like the same dreary and dreaded color to her. Maybe something with the shade was leaving her colorblind. If every color of red blended together, would she hate or love the color more?

"It's just like..."

How does she even begin to explain that all she's doing is getting stupidly worked up over some book she had years ago? Scout barely even remembered the days leading up to the whole incident, and definitely doesn't remember the days after! All she could focus on in her underdeveloped brain was how she felt during the moment, how weak she felt when she threw the book in the trash and went home the minute after. The custodian probably saw some nice and new book in the trash and was confused as to why someone would throw it away.

"When I was a kid, my dad bought me this really nice notebook." She mumbled. "It was really pretty, it was like red and orange and it had cool black spirals, I really liked it. And my dad was so proud that he was able to get me a book with a cover I really liked."

It was at this point, Scout realized what she was actually saying, the story she was really telling. There was no way she could ever bring herself to tell Emily that she- the Scout Fu-Hai- was bullied. Her parents didn't even know the true extent, and there was no way she'd tell it to Emily. "Anyway, there were these girls who... thought it looked silly, and I got embarrassed." An understatement, for sure. "So I just threw it away after class. And I feel bad about it."

Double understatement. It had been eating Scout up like mold on fruit, nothing even close to less. She didn't even have the gall to tell her dad after! When he asked, 'Scout, how did your classmates like your book?' she just said 'they loved it!' and that was it! She made a note to always hide her bag after, and never bring up the subject again.

"I just feel like some stupid coward, all the time." Everything she did felt deeply imbedded in cowardice, no matter how she truly felt. Ugh!

October 9th 2024
The Chipping Game with @Scout Fu-Hai
Speech: #cfa120
Thoughts: Italics

Despite the strings of resistance that pulled her from Emily's every attempt to get her to open up, she finally saw Scout crack with a look of resignation replacing her current expression. Emily kept rubbing her arm to soothe her sadness and smiled encouragingly to show she was still listening. There was a lot going on that Emily couldn't see but could sense heavily behind Scout's eyes. It was bound to be a matter of time before it would boil over.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? I might not be able to understand absolutely everything... But I'd like to try...!"

Scout finally relented. Though Emily watched her cast her glance away from her and softened her voice, she was still willing to talk, even if at the bare minimum. Emily's attention didn't wane and instead scooched closer, thinking that the close proximity would somehow feel more relaxing for her Gryffindor buddy.

Emily absorbed Scout's story to every word, nodding and humming quietly as she kept going. When Scout finished Emily leaned back and took a moment to allow both of them to collect themselves. Scout was surely drained just by admitting something personal - even if it still felt like she was holding back some - but Emily wasn't going to deny her the luxury to take a breather and take that moment for herself.

"Hmm... So this notebook has a deeper meaning to this, I see..." She mused to herself. She was finally getting a better picture behind what's been going on, but it still felt like Emily was missing something. She had a hunch it was something to do with something that Scout still wasn't telling her. Though she finally learnt enough to start drawing a better analysis.

"You said it was a red notebook... And you asked me what I thought about the colour red... And from the looks and sound of it, you're not too fond of red yourself... Are you, Scoutie?"

Ohhh...

Suddenly the dots were connecting. Emily never liked to make assumptions in fear of getting ahead of herself, but...

"Scout... This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with your feelings towards your vampirism... Would it?"

She let the question drift in the air a bit. There was every chance Emily could've been totally off the mark, but something else quickly added to the weight of their conversation.

"I just feel like some stupid coward, all the time."

Emily's voice broke and looked at her with an outrageous glance. "Scoutie... Why..?"

Scout was the last person Emily ever would've thought would talk about themselves in such a way. Scout? A coward? Not in a chance in the world! Scout had always been a chipper sprite, the first to bring spark to the room and was never short of a fuse in a crowd. So what happened? What changed?

Or rather... What had Scout been hiding if Emily had it wrong this whole time?

_{Word Count: 535}

Stats: Stamina: 7 | Strength: 6 | Evasion: 6 | Wisdom: 8 | Arc Power: 7 | Accuracy: 6
Abilities: Non-Human Enthusiast |Cat's Grace

october 9th, 2024		wednesday, after class
wc: 500		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Emily Shephard		mentioning: meow

'God, Scout, what are you even crying over?'

She had gotten good at tuning the voice out, it had been difficult when she was younger, died off last year, but had come back with a vengeance these past few months. But she had gotten good at making it shut up and stay that way. But this wasn't that same voice whispering words to pull feelings of being distraught, it was like her own consciousness realizing she was being dramatic! All of this crying and sleepless nights just for some stupid book? When had Scout ever cried over something like a book?

"Ugh, no, it's just a stupid book. I felt horrible that day, I don't know why I still do." Scout took the initiative to shut down any attempt Emily made at connecting the book to her vampirism. While, deep down, she knew it was the absolute truth, she wasn't ready to face that just yet. Maybe she'd never be ready, honestly, she was too young to contemplate that idea. "It just sucks when everyone thinks something you like is lame."

She wiped her tears away one last time, shaking her head. "Don't even listen to anything I'm saying today, alright? I'm just in a mood." That was... one way to put it, for sure. This mood had been lasting weeks, maybe even months if she actually put a number on it. "I don't even know what I'm talking about."

'Don't you?'

What a joke! Of course she knew every word she said, every single syllable she let slip past her lip she was more than aware of. While she might not recognize how the words string together in sentences, she knows what they all mean, she knows everything! God, she knows everything! And here poor Emily was- she was just trying to help! But Scout kept slamming the book of her own life narration shut and she couldn't even begin the attempt of opening it and-

This time, she didn't cry. She shrugged and the wall that had been destroyed was once more carefully constructed. "It's really nothing, Em. Honestly, I think I'm just getting worked up because I'm so stressed, y'know?"

Scout really, really didn't want Emily to worry. It'd kill her inside knowing her friend was concerned for her. There was no better friend out there, nobody who understood Scout better than Emily. Which was why she had to shut down the deep talk, and distance the 'me' Scout truly was with the 'me' she wanted Emily to see. Or at least she hoped it was that way, it was getting tougher to coherently put her thoughts in her head together. They felt garbled and messed up, impossible to connect at best.

"It's just some stupid book, nothing more." And now was her cool second attempt to sway the conversation to literally any other direction. "Anyway, I've been sending all those letters to Zyair and I think he'd feel the same way. Just some silly notebook."

'Who are you trying to convince? Emily, or yourself?'

She didn't know.

October 9th 2024
Some Nuts Are Hard To Crack with @Scout Fu-Hai
Speech: #cfa120
Thoughts: Italics

Ugh, this girl!

Emily was always inspired by Scout's unwavering ability to remain strong. In this case however, it was starting to drive her mad. Not many people may have realised but strength was a double-edged sword; it provided someone with lingering courage and a wave of endurance, but at the same time could be twisted into a hard-shell mould that can sometimes refuse to crack under any pressure. Not only had Scout taken that interpretation, but she had unknowingly - or maybe just as equally knowingly - put it into mockery. Both girls knew she was upset over something, yet for some reason, Scout was adamant to downplay it all like it was nothing. Nothing!

Emily thrived off empathy and hated it when people tried to suppress the hurt they felt. Especially when it was more blatant than a candle in a dark room, so to hear Scout actively try and ignore her own emotional side was getting far too painful to bear any longer. Emily hardly ever lost her patience; she couldn't even tell when the last known occurrence was where she had done so. Scout truly was a marvel in this instance - the squishy Puffie was internally becoming un-squishy.

Alas, seeing that there was nothing more for Emily to try after exhausting her best efforts (she really thought the bloodstone would pull through for her) she sighed defeatedly and shook off her silent frustration, replacing it with an understanding nod and smile.

"Okay, Scoutie," She said softly. "Whatever you say. I just like making sure you're alright, you know? Your wellbeing and happiness is important to me like everyone else's. And... I trust you'll tell me when something's wrong. Right?"

She hoped so on that last bit. She knew Scout liked her independence but with her best friend's recent and persistent stubbornness to open up, she began to fear what could happen in the long-term if Scout kept up the habit of keeping things to herself.

The topic of conversation soon faded into nothing, becoming a lapse of the past as Scout moved it along to something else.

"Anyway, I've been sending all those letters to Zyair and I think he'd feel the same way. Just some silly notebook."

Oh!

Scout's been chatting with Zyair. That's nice! That was reassuring. So at least Scout wasn't solely living off of Emily's companionship. She was still talking with other people. That was a relief considering Emily was secretly worried Scout might've been keeping to herself socially during all this time.

"That's nice...! But if that boy is as sweet and clever as you make him out to be, he'll be thinking you're keeping something down in that stronghold of yours!" With Scout admitting to confiding in Zyair, Emily was now praying he would get through to her. Despite Scout claiming she didn't have a crush, Emily could still tell she was fond of him, even if only slightly. He seemed to provide her a comfort that Emily couldn't, something that both relieved and saddened her.

"It would be good to get to know him better," she continued, keeping the conversation on a somewhat light-hearted note. "Invite him to the upcoming Ball! Casey's going to be there...!"

How the hell Emily managed to convince Casey to come to the Ball as easily as she did still boggled her. For the first week of summer camp, Casey looked like he was ready to keel over. Now all of a sudden he was ready to turn up knowing the ups and downs not only between them, but between him and Scout too. At the same time, Casey had appeared to be in a better mood these days, as his letters have indicated.

"The Ball will be good for him, I think. It'll help Casey to learn to like people again, or tolerate them at the very least. Maybe there's even the off chance that... You and him could patch things up?"

_{Word Count: 706}

Stats: Stamina: 7 | Strength: 6 | Evasion: 6 | Wisdom: 8 | Arc Power: 7 | Accuracy: 6
Abilities: Non-Human Enthusiast |Cat's Grace

october 9th, 2024		wednesday, after class
wc: 400ish		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Emily Shephard		mentioning: zyair & casey

Inviting Zyair to the ball was... a step in a direction Scout wasn't sure she could take yet. They had been conversing solely through letters, which was a safety barrier. If she wrote something wrong, she could scratch it out or erase the words, if she said something wrong in front of Zyair? That was a whole different story. It was easier to write than it was to talk, especially if he was standing in front of her and looking at her. Of course, a part of her wanted to see him, to talk to him, but even the concept had her fingers trembling. She wasn't confident enough yet.

Maybe she wouldn't ever be.

"Does he really need to give himself a reason to 'like' people?" Even through all she had experienced, the bullying, the backlash, Scout had never really 'hated' people before. Even when there was all that negative backlash to that professor saying he was a werewolf, Scout had always thought humanity was good. There just happened to be lots of bad eggs- hell, she was etching herself in the direction of becoming one from this whole mood swing slash negative ball of energy ordeal. "Why is he the way he is? You're like his friend, aren't you? Do you know?"

If she was being honest, Scout didn't actually care. It was just nice to have Emily talk about something that wasn't her bad memories. And it gave her time to think, specifically about what Emily had said. 'Your wellbeing and happiness is important to me like everyone else's.' It made her stomach sink once more, an overwhelming pit of guilt settling in to take its spot. Why did both Emily and Zyair have to say something like that? It made her feel even worse for not telling them anything!

She was starting to feel like a fraud. Pretending to be okay and then crying her eyes out over a stupid book, thinking she wanted to tell Zyair her secret only to become terrified at the implications. How much longer was she going to be able to go on like this? She wanted to be alone with her thoughts, but she'd hate being alone!

"Why do I have to be the one to apologize?" Scout asked, looking at the grass beneath her. "He was the one who was being an asshole. Did he even say sorry to you for calling you all the stuff he did?" She felt like she was projecting a little bit. "Or for shoving you?"