The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #35

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┏ ============== ┓ Why Quidditch Is the Best Sport Alyssea Brown ┗ ┛

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Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts! If you’re a first year reading the Headliner for the first time or you’ve been waiting for the final instalment of this mini-series, this will be an educational article on why Quidditch is the best sport. I talked to three Quidditch players, two of which are captains, to see what they thought about their beloved sport.

Having played a couple games myself, Quidditch is terrifying, but there’s a thrill to the fear. Two teams of eleven players, four of which are second-string (benched) players, face off in a battle for the Quaffles, Bludgers, and the Snitch. Players take on designated roles which leave them responsible for certain areas of the pitch. Chasers grab the Quaffles and score points for the team in addition to other responsibilities like saving	xx		xx	knocked-off players and occasionally cheating. Keepers block the Quaffles that Chasers are trying to score with and may play the field when necessary. Beaters are, much like their name suggests, brutal bat-swingers who hit giant metal balls called Bludgers at players, knocking them out of the game. The most popular position of them all is the Seeker who searches for and catches the Snitch in the hopes of winning the game. x─────────────────x
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Compared to the free-for-all nature of duelling and broom racing where positions are non-existent, people might like the structure of Quidditch’s positions. The newest Quidditch captain, Rebecca Lark, is also Ravenclaw’s second-string Beater. Her opinion of the game’s positions is that “everyone gets to discover and pursue their own individual talents and are able to better contribute to their team’s success as a result. Also, it’s the only sport that lets me knock people out with giant high-velocity metal balls.” Always an adrenaline rush to knock people out, I’m sure. ─ ❝ ─ ________──────────┓ x ─. everyone gets to discover and pursue their own individual talents and are able to better contribute to their team’s success as a result. ── x┗────────── x❞	│ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │	─ ❝ ─ ________──────────┓ x ─. You get to learn, love and grow with your teammates... it's such a great way to get to know all sorts of people, and really appreciate them, too. ── x┗────────── x❞ Koko Riddle, a name you may know from previous Headliner issues, has been the Cloud Cobras’ first-string Keeper since its establishment and its captain since last year. When asked what makes Quidditch the best, Captain Riddle said, “You get to learn, love and grow with your teammates, and all of you have such different strengths that it's such a great way to get to know all sorts of people, and really appreciate them, too. It's structured enough to be easy to learn and feel safe in the rules of, but still have some level of freedom.”
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Aside from the actual mechanics of the game, Quidditch is unmatched in fame. No matter where you are, it is the face of the Wizarding World. Duelling is a classic way to fight for honour or for survival, but actual competitions and clubs are either secretive or quickly shut down. Broom racing as a competitive sport, and not as a way to settle disputes, is still on its way up in the world. As Ravenclaw’s first-string Seeker, Aly Salinger, eloquently put it: “Quidditch isn't just the best wizarding sport – it's the wizarding sport. When you think of sports in the magical world, your first thought goes to Quidditch. Entire stadiums are built just for the World Cup! Wizard-born children grow up dreaming of playing for their favourite team! There are books and businesses and billions of things made specifically for Quidditch, and let's face it, no other wizarding sport has that kind of reach or fame.”	─		❝ ──────── ───────────┓ x ─. Quidditch isn't just the best wizarding sport- it's the wizarding sport. - x┗─────────── x❞ With all that said, head down to the pitches and give it a try! That concludes my mini-series reviewing all of the sports offered at this school.
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If you think none of these fit you, be sure to check out smaller clubs at the school for Gobstones, Exploding Snap, and Wizard’s Chess!

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PROFESSORS PG. 02

CONSPIRASOUP! PG. 03

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SNAKE OIL PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 09

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The opportunities that witchcraft presents to us are truly endless. Spells can be used to change our hair colour, help us study, antagonise our best of friends (apologies to George Henry, you know what for), and a lot more. However, it seems like the best of magic comes when you’re older and more proficient. Not that the fire-making spell isn’t fantastic, especially without the extinguishing charm to go with it. No, no. What I’m talking about is being an Animagus. I’m going to tell you something very honestly, my x─────────────────x xx ┏ ┗ A Doggy Life for Me by Dorion Anderson ┓ ┛ dear readers: my worst grade is in Transfiguration. I really struggle with it. It might be my Muggle upbringing, or it might be because the idea of turning an animal into furniture is incredibly upsetting. But me? Being an animal? Now that was something I was willing to struggle with. x─────────────────x ┏ ┗ For those of you who don’t know, I’m a Golden Retriever! ┓ ┛

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For the process of becoming an Animagus, you are required to have a mentor, so I went to my brave and honourable leader: Professor Browne, the Hufflepuff Head of House. The professors are there to make sure that you don’t… I think, die? Or get perilously injured by trying to transform yourself, or something like that. I’m honestly not sure of the dangers of an Animagus attempt gone wrong. But it is an arduous process, one I will not reveal here because I fear smaller children will try to learn it; I promise, you really need someone to help you through it. It can take a month, three, several, a year. It genuinely depends on the weather. Can you believe it? Mine didn’t take terribly long, only a few months, and I luckily had a lot of friends helping me along the way because there are steps that you have to perform daily. I recommend having a crew, either to help you, or that is dedicated to becoming an Animagus as well. ← • But here’s why I’m really writing this article: x─────────────────x

I’m super cute and adorable, and I don’t mind if you pet my head if you ask first. But, I’m shouting out my Muggle-borns here, if you’ve watched any of the Air Bud movies you know where I’m going with this. I want to be the first Animagus dog to become a broom racer. Being an Animagus is amazing; it is incredibly fun and unique to see the world from an animal’s perspective. There’s so much that I can do that I can’t do as a human. I want to see how much x────────────x

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that I can do as a dog that I can do as a human. Why can’t I fly on a broom? Equilibrium or something science related like that? I’ve been doing a lot of practice and honestly it’s really hard, my friends. So desperately do I want to soar in the sky with the wind flowing in my beautiful golden fur. I want to stand on two legs and cast spells, which I know I can’t. Or maybe play Quidditch? I’m a retriever, surely catching a Snitch in my mouth would count as catching it in general. x────────────x

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There’s so much more to discover at my new, lower, level. And, also, a lot of my regular skills that I want to develop in this new form. I am begging you, my fellow students, to please give me suggestions on how to stay on my broom with four legs instead of two arms and two legs. Also, become an Animagus. It is the best kind of magic that exists. But make sure you do it safely with a mentor. ─ ❝ •••••••• ──────────┓ x ─. Become an Animagus. It is the best kind of magic that exists. ── x┗────────── x❞ x──────────────────────────x

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PROFESSORS PG. 02

CONSPIRASOUP! PG. 03

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SNAKE OIL PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 09

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	xx	───────────────── Muggle vs. Pureblood 101 Currency Systems by Tristan Theramin ───────────────── Perhaps you have been thrust into a world, the wizarding world, and you are handed some coins. The wizards and witches say it all makes sense, but you are in the daunting situation where the money is all gibberish and non-intelligible. If you are afraid to ask for help because you think it will make you stand out even more, then	xx	you're in the right place. This is Tristan Theramin, at your service, with all the right tips and tricks for learning about the wizarding world as a Muggle-born. If you're a pure-blood or wizard-born, well, you're in the right place to learn about the Muggle world too. As foreshadowed, we are starting with an important item in the world: money.
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❝ If you are afraid to ask for help... you're in the right place. ❞

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I interviewed a Muggle-born student named Matthew the other day about this very subject, and I am sure many of you can empathise with his sentiments. He said quite emphatically, “As someone already bad at maths, magical money does nothing but add further confusion. Why would 29 Knuts equal 1 Sickle, and 17 Sickles a Galleon? It's utter impractical chaos! Also, what's with the names? How does a Knut relate to a Sickle that relates to a Galleon? What relevance do a boat and a farming tool have in money?”	xx	Now, don't fret. All we need to remember the rate or currency exchange is a quick jaunty phrase, something you could sing, too. Repeat after me, “A gorilla ate 17 sausages and 29 Kit Kats.” The sillier the phrase, the more you're likely to remember it, so let's say it again, “A gorilla ate 17 sausages and 29 Kit Kats.” Gorillas for Galleons,	xx	sausages for Sickles, and Kit Kats for Knuts. Now, the next time you need to calculate prices, all you need is this silly phrase, and you'll be good to go. You could even make your own little song to go along with it. After all, singing is a great way to memorise. ─ ❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. A gorilla ate 17 sausages and 29 Kit Kats. ── x┗────────── x❞
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❝ Magical money does nothing but add further confusion. ❞

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Now we can’t forget to help our pure-bloods and wizard-borns out with their lack of knowledge about the Muggle world, so here we go. Every country in the Muggle world has its own currency. The United States is based on the dollar, Great Britain has the pound, Serbia with the dinar, South Korea uses the won, and more. Now, it would take fourteen pages to intricately describe each and every Muggle currency in the world, so let us focus on the one in Great Britain since that is the geopolitical area we are in. x───────────────────────────x The currency in Great Britain is based on the pound, which is colloquially called the quid. There are one hundred pence to a pound. The common divisions of paper money provided, or denominations, are five

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pounds, ten pounds, twenty pounds, and fifty pounds. The common coins in circulation are one pence, two pence, ten pence, twenty pence, fifty pence, one pound, and two pounds. However, these days, Muggles are much more likely to use what is called a credit card, which is a plastic card connected to an account under your name. The credit card is used to buy an item and then pay the price later from one’s bank account. One does have to pay what is known as interest if one does not pay the debt in time. Interest is additional money that one needs to pay on top of the original debt one is in. x───────────────────────────x Well, I hope both you Muggle-borns and pure-bloods found this helpful. If you didn’t, owl me or pester me in person, I am happy to help.

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PROFESSORS PG. 02

CONSPIRASOUP! PG. 03

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SNAKE OIL PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 09

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Magical & Muggle Meals: Pumpkin Pasties by Aly Salinger As autumn creeps ever closer, dreams of delectable Hogwarts Hallowe’en feasts dance in the heads of students and alumni alike. One of the most craved foods from these feasts, from the Hogwarts Express trolley, and from any sweets shop across the wizarding world is none other than the beloved pumpkin pasty – but what happens when ───────────── xx your local Honeydukes runs out? Well, you’d best know how to make them yourself, of course! Welcome, once again, to Magical & Muggle Meals: your one and only recipe column to teach wizards how to cook! xxA pumpkin pasty has three integral components: a buttery, flaky crust full of salt and savouriness; the ───────────── xx sweet inside of spice; and of course, pumpkin! Miss out on one or the other, and you’re bound to wish you’d just gone to the Hogwarts kitchens instead… but get both right, and you have a slam dunk of a wizarding treat that’s sure to have all your alumni friends asking, “Did you tickle the pear to get these, or did you make them yourself?” ─────────────

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Pumpkin Pasties
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Serves: 15 people who eat one pasty each, or one person who eats 15 pasties
Time: 1-2 hours

Ingredients: ▫ 1 pre-made, cooled Kowalski Quality Baked Goods dough (*pre-made pastry dough)[1] ▫ Some Wizarding Wheat Self-Charmed Flour (*all-purpose flour) ▫ ¼ teaspoon cinnamon ▫ 1 pinch allspice ▫ 1 pinch nutmeg ▫ 1 pinch cardamom ▫ ½ cup tinned pumpkin puree OR 1 small pumpkin[2] ▫ 1 tablespoon sugar from a Sugar Shrub (*white sugar) ▫ 2 tablespoons dragon milk (*cow milk or alternative) ▫ ¼ occamy egg yolk (*1 chicken egg yolk) *Muggle Alternative

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^[1]You may also make dough yourself, but this is not recommended for first-time cooks. Pro tip: house-elves (Muggle alternative: cookbooks) always have wonderful dough recipes, so if you really want to make it from scratch, ask one of them!
^[2]Please ensure that it is not an enchanted jack-o-lantern. These do not cook well, and you may find yourself uncontrollably smiling for weeks after consuming a jack-o-lantern.

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Directions
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𝟭| If making puree from scratch from a pumpkin, cut pumpkin in half and remove its seeds. Bake at 200°C for 30-45 minutes or until pumpkin flesh has softened. Let cool, remove pumpkin’s skin, and puree flesh. Use ½ cup for recipe. 𝟮| Add all spices to puree and mix well. Set aside. 𝟯| Preheat oven to 200°C. 𝟰| Remove dough from cooling area (Muggle alternative: refrigerator) and roll on a floured surface until roughly 3 millimetres thick. Cut 8-centimetre circles from dough, and re-roll dough as necessary until all has been turned to circles. 𝟱| Add roughly ½ teaspoon of spiced puree to centre of each circle; wet edge of each circle and fold over onto ────────────────────────────

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itself, enveloping the puree inside. Crimp edges with fingers or forks to ensure hold. 𝟲| With your wand (Muggle alternative: knife), cut small vents on top of each pasty in whichever shape desired. 𝟳| Beat yolk in a bowl, then add milk and stir to create egg wash. Set aside. 𝟴| Place pasties on tray and ensure that no Permanent Sticking Charms have been cast upon it (Muggle alternative: line tray with parchment paper). Brush top of each pasty with egg wash. 𝟵| Bake in oven for 15-20 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from heat and let cool. 𝟭𝟬| Serve, sit back, and enjoy the fall flavours of your favourite sweet-and-savoury treat! ────────────────────────────

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PROFESSORS PG. 02

CONSPIRASOUP! PG. 03

─

SNAKE OIL PG. 05

MUGGLE ITEM PG. 09