Closed Burn Out Blues PV Ernest Baird

Alec looked up, head turning to look at the other in an instant. Ernest's voice was so quiet that Alec's immediate instinct was to think he had mistaken what the other had said. And if it had been that his father doesn't want him, what does that mean? His adopted one? He said he had an adoptive family... Who it was didn't matter in the end. What mattered more was that he said it so matter-of-factly as if he knew for certain. Was is it a belief, or had someone gone out of his way to tell him that? Alec wanted to hug him, to offer some semblance of comfort... He didn't even know if it was really what the other had said, Alec believed he could have misheard it that way, Alec was inclined to do such already.

When Alec finally let his last name spill, there was silence. It was not the eery kind of silence where you're waiting for something bad to happen; it felt like the sort of silence like one trying to recollect, maybe he was trying to figure out if he'd ever heard Alec's last name before. He doubted this recollection would leave Ernest with anything, it was an impossibility. He repeated Alec's last name as if asking for clarification, his voice was soft, small in that moment, and the air held a weird sort of tension that it hadn't only minutes prior. Alec was trying to sort out whether he had done something wrong and what he possibly could have done to upset the other. He came up with a million different reasons, but all of them fell short in one for or another.

Then Ernest spoke, asking of his father's name, 'mason' ... 'like James Mason?'. Alec stared, then blinked. An impossibility, huh? It seems as though Alec was incorrect on that one. He wasn't quite sure what to say or how to say it. How did Ernest know his father's name? Why did he know who Alec's father was? He knew they were questions that were very likely going to go unanswered, it didn't stop Alec's mind from asking them anyway. “Yes. James is my um-” The title of dad or father never really fit him but Alec knew now wasn't the time to make a fuss over titles.“- father...”

@Ernest Baird

Setting: Small Hall
IC date :February 29th 2024

The word repeated in his head over and over, like it had to be beaten into his skull so he knew it was real. Everything he had thought up about his father being discredited, disassembled, and destroyed in the blink of an eye. His self-assured notions that his father was a single bachelor that couldn't take him on, who wanted him to have a better life and that's why he said no; gone.

Alec was three years older than him. Three years was enough for a man to get used to the idea of a son. Three years for him to be ready. Ernest felt stuck going over their differences but he couldn’t ignore how similar they were. Brown hair, the same brown that reflected their sire he felt sick to realize. Blue eyes, his lighter but no less horrible to share. He felt like he was looking into a mirror that shattered his self resolve.

Ernest realized how close they were and attempted to spring up and away, only to fall. He wanted away from his body double of an older brother. God the words felt so crushing to think about. Brother, another one raised with his father as Ernest was without. His palms hit the floor hard as he fell, but he was quick to stumble away more. The pain was nothing compared to the need he felt to put distance in between them.

He made it to the other wall before he stopped, now standing fall collapsed against the stone. He couldn’t look at the boy again. “Oh my Gringotts, Oh my Gringotts, Oh my-,” He felt like he had been dunked in ice cold water and left to freeze. “You’re my brother? You-”

Ernest looked over at him then looked away just as quickly. “You don’t even know how much your presence . . . just. . .”

Private Thread for @Alec Mason

i forgot i had this reply finished in my drafts

In seconds he saw the other launching himself up and off the floor; he was wobbly, scrambling to get up and off the floor. Ernest tumbled back to the floor, hands hitting the cold cobblestone. Alec's reaction was instinctive, he jumped to his feet. Alec was almost quick enough to catch the boy and keep him from clattering to the floor; almost. Ernest moved, putting further distance between the two. The teen's foot reached forward to step towards the other; mid foot-raise would dawn the realization that perhaps the other was putting space between them on purpose. Alec took one step back, then another, and another; he would back up until he could back up no more. Everything in his body felt tight, tense. He stood straight as a board, eyes jumping around to try to assess Ernest and find a reasonable explanation for what had just occurred.

Ernest flopped against the wall, he spoke and he seemed to be panicking. Something about Gringotts? How did banking have anything to do with this? Followed by a statement about Alec being his brother, and then a comment about Alec's presence. Alec let out startled slightly panicky laughter. Did he mistake Alec saying James was his father with him saying James was Ernest's father? It was the only explanation that made sense in Alec's head, the only way he could reason with it. “What?” words followed by another panic laugh, worried he had caused some sort of existential crisis in the over, causing large confusion over a minor misunderstanding. Alec ran a hand through his hair. He moved away from the wall to the middle of the hallway. He glanced quickly at the other, looked away, began walking, he walked past the door to the great hall. Turned on his heel and began walking down the other direction. He did his walk back and forth once more. Pacing. He stopped when he reached Ernest again; he turned to look at the other. Alec's eyebrows furrowed “You're confused.” He had to be. There was no other option.

As Alec looked at Ernest, he found himself staring back at this person who had an uncanny resemblance of his father. It irked the teen. Still he continued forth, all logic and reason pointed to that Ernest was somehow confused. Alec looked off to the side, his father has chastized his mother, he shunned her; was it possible that all along he'd done the same as her? The man was not a good person by any means; but he was a man who lived with such a distinct moral code that he strictly adhered too. Maybe he could have cheated on her as well... with... a goblin? a half-goblin? He'd always pushed the blood purity thing down their throats. Alec couldn't say that to Ernest's face though. “I just- trust me, it's not possible.”

@Ernest Baird

Setting: Small Hall
IC date :February 29th 2024

Everyone Ernest had ever called family had shown their true colors to them when given enough time. A mumble there, a whisper here, a broken wand, a broken sentence. Clark was the easiest to hate, he made himself hateable. His vile personality and grotesque actions burned like acid in his brain whenever he had to think about the blood that pulsed through both of their veins. Veins made in a woman who would carry them for 9 months, raise them for 12 and abandon them in less than a minute.

Ernest had bitten his tongue for years as his grandfather talked about his mother, memories he wished to share that they couldn’t live together. One’s tainted in nostalgia and another with longing and hostility. Ernest had decided to treat family like a temporary piece of his life. It was easier.

But still, he held out hope. He was only 12, he was allowed to hope that Clark would see him as worth the air he breathed. Ernest hoped his mother would come to see the man she failed to raise and long to be there to see the rest of his days. He hoped his grandfather would see his mother in him as more than a reminder but as another piece of her, he could try to love.

And he hoped his father longed to meet him but couldn’t; not that he wouldn’t.

But Alec was living proof that James didn’t want a son like him. Living proof that didn’t even believe him. Ernest clenched his hands, anger pulsing through his blood. The blood that he realized shared the same DNA as the boy in front of him. The boy that he was willing to bet was the younger copy of the father who refused him when he was abandoned a second time. “You think I’m making this up? You think-”

He swallowed, rethinking his words. He’d get nowhere like this. “James Mason, a pureblood wizard right? Yeah, that’s all I know. He refused me and that’s how I ended up with my adopted family. The social worker said he couldn’t take me, I thought-” He let out a shaky breath, “I thought he physically couldn’t, but you’re here.” Living proof.

Private Thread for @Alec Mason

'It's not possible.' Those three words reverberated in his mind; each time it echoed louder and louder, with it came a cascading symphony of the many reasons of why it was not possible. What would it take to get Ernest to understand he was clearly wrong and mistaken? James, a man who lives and breathes prejudice, his very sense of morals and morality off of an ideology based on blood purity. There was no way Alec was going to believe James had somehow let these morals and beliefs; something that defined every fiber of his being, slip away with an 'oopsie!' long enough that he found himself father to a (presumably)half-goblin child. The very idea of it all was utter insanity and something Alec would simply not wrap his head around. Merlin, in his parents divorce, his father seemed to have cared less that Alec's mother had cheated, he'd cared more that it had been with a muggle.

To Alec's refusal came claims that Alec thought that the other was making it up. No! Well, not exactly! There was assumption of confusion- or er assertion of Ernest's confusion. Mix-ups were understandable! It was bound to happen, It was probably an incredibly common mix-up to have! If Alec were to believe Ernest were making it up Alec would also have to assume he had a reason to lie. Ernest had no reason to lie, especially not about that, nobody would.

Alec's eyes lingered on Ernest, picking through the other's features, and the strange sense of a warm familiarity Alec found in it. If Ernest wasn't confused and had just made it all up, he had clearly done his research and prep well for with who he would use such a scheme on...Ernest looked vaguely enough like Jackie that if Alec didn't have such a hold-up with everything else, he would have been willing to believe Ernest. In a way, it was a relief Alec had such a hold-up on this, Alec didn't know if he could handle that kind of news...Alec had so much on his plate already. The weight of expectations alone were crushing enough, on top of it all he had Jackie to worry about; he didn't need anything more; he was almost certain he couldn't handle anything more.

While Alec wanted to try to think of a sensitive way to explain how it couldn't be possible... His brain was fried, and trying to come up with anything was an incredible amount of work. Ernest would start speaking, and for a second it was a relief because it gave Alec more time, then Ernest dropped the 'pureblood' tidbit. "What?" There it was again, except this time, it was much more quiet, at that point Alec may as well have been speaking to himself because the possibility of Ernest hearing his second 'what?' was slime to none. Every reason Alec had for why Ernest couldn't possibly be his brother came crashing down. With his fort of ignorance gone, left in it's place was someone who wanted to stay in denial. A look of pure horror set on Alec's face. Alec's reasoning went from 'he can't be my brother because my father is a blood-purist' to 'he can't be my brother because I can't handle that right now.'

Alec felt a little light-headed... Ernest continued to speak, Alec could hear his voice but it was far away at the same time, as if Alec were underwater. He stopped pacing and reached a hand to a care spot on the wall,, to feel the coldness. Stay present...

Ernest said Alec's father had refused the boy. Alec's expression shifted to a frown. It was Alec's turn to let out a shaky breath this time. "He-" Looking away Alec's squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling sharply. Why didn't James bother to tell him? Alec's knew why but- ugh! It took all of five seconds to let him know everything even after all was said and done just so the the young teen could mentally prepare himself.. or be aware! Expect a crazy run-in situation like this! "-he didn't tell me." Alec's voice was strained, and he had to force the words out.When he spoke some part of his own voice felt distant to him.

Alec's heart was racing, thudding in his chest as if he were running a marathon. Who was this man Alec was living with? To have some sort of secret double-life where he had a half-goblin child... A child that could wreck everything he stood for; and every perception Alec had of him. James didn't bother to tell Alec because Ernest was the single thing that could take him down. Ernest was a ticking time bomb, an explosive that could down James's reputation, be the reason he lost everything... The entire revelation made Alec feel like he was going insane

There was the matter of his father's actions, what everything meant now given the context of him fathering a half-goblin child, contradiction after contradiction, and why his father continued to choose to act the way he did, it made him worse right? It felt as if Alec's lungs felt tight... Constricting almost, it made breathing harder.

Alec opened his eyes again focusing his gaze on the ground, "James he's a-" Breathe Alec... "he's a blood purist." Ernest deserved a reason, an explanation, it wasn't fair to be him to be left with this news then have to sit and wonder why. Something compelled Alec to tackle the other into a hug, as long as Ernest didn't dodge or move away(if he does so Alec will just back away and continue with his spiel), Alec would do so. Despite this action clearly coming from a place of warmth, he would be somewhat rigid while hugging the other, still dealing with that internal panic... That struggle to breathe, that- "He sucks. I don't believe he's a good person and if your lucky you'll never meet him." The words came out breathy... Alec had expected to have said that in far fewer words than he did. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there for you." If Ernest hadn't dodge Alec tackle hug this is the point where would move away and let go. Alec looked significantly more pale than he had a few seconds prior when he went in for the hug. . "I- I need to go."

alec leaves the thread

@Ernest Baird