Full Moon's Eve

@Kyle Derook

Looking back in retrospect was always strange. This time a year ago, she was still recovering from the attack on Slytherin, hiding the damage from and avoiding her cousin, trying to make sense of everything. The year before that, she was just a battered and bullied little first year, still trying to get her footing at the school and figure out her place among her peers.

Now, as she looked at her reflection in the modest mirror on her desk while doing her hair, Illowy found it hard to find that little girl she'd been before school. That little girl had been so confident in herself, absolute in her view on the world and on herself. Today, Illowy saw a young lady on the precipice of fourteen, scared but good at hiding it, wiser but more unsure then ever, pretty but marred. What confidence she'd lost after being cursed was slowly being gathered again and she didn't feel quite as subconscious as she once had about her scars. Perhaps she was finally getting use to it, accepting it as something she'd have for the rest of her life... however long that might be. She tried not to think about that too much though.

The snake draped her caplet around her shoulders before placing on her hat and tugging her gloves on, having deciding some time in the cool Scottish air might do her some good. Grabbing her bag, a couple snacks and a thermos of tea she'd prepared earlier, the girl gave a sleeping Killian a gentle pat and started out with the intention of going to the lake. However, as she stepped out into the court yard, her plans quickly shifted when she spied Kyle.

Wordlessly, she started towards him. The closer she got, the more it dawned on her what time of the month it must've been. His sickly, tense and tired appearance was hardly unknown to her; and seeing him in such a way always made her forget her own problems and worries, overrided by the need to protect him -yes, she felt he was the one who needed the protection- from anyone who might upset him.

"An féidir liom suí?" ^{"May I sit?"} she offered a small smile. Then, quietly, she sat down against the pillar with him, criss-crossing her legs under herself. She placed the flowery thermos between them before turning to her bag to retrieve her sketchbook and drawing pencils, "I made tea if you want any." the girl mentioned. She knew better then to ask if he was okay; she knew for fact he wasn't and Illowy knew this time of the month was hardly a time to, as Kyle liked to put it, 'mother hen him'.

First he heard the foot steps, smelled the tea, and a snarl started to come to his face but then the hint of honey and old books. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, letting it out shakily. His steel blue eyes opened back up and he looked towards Illowy and her thermos, just sitting there quietly for a few moments. "...y'know I dont drink tea magpie he rubs his face leans his head back against the pillar and he takes a breath before he moves his head forward and throws it back to smack against the stone audibly.

He shifts his head slightly to move his eyes over to his cousin "This one is going to be bad, I can feel it. I...I dont want to have to go through with it. Was thinking of not taking my next dose. faking it you know? spit it out later. I always chain myself up in the basement before I turn anyway...who cares If I hurt myself losing control and trying to get free." he sighs and when he speaks again his voice is quieter "I know I dont..."

Kyle closes his eyes as he sits in the shade. The last few nights he had gotten no sleep, he rarely did leading up to the full moon. for years now the same nightmare kept him up, being hunted and chased through the woods by a werewolf...no not just any werewolf. himself. Chased by the monster inside of him and the chase always ended the same. With the werewolf catching him, ripping into him only for Kyle to awake in a cold sweat. was it any wonder he got so little sleep?

@Kyle Derook

Illowy have an indifferent shrug when he reminded her he didn't drink tea, "Wha'kinda Irishman are you?" she teased gently, laying her sketch book in her lap and flipping to a blank page to start drawing and letting a tense bought of silence fall between them. The full moon was eating at him, she could feel it radiating off him until he finally said to her what was on his mind. The way she imagined it, every time must've been agonizing; and she couldn't fathom how one time might be better or worse then another... but then again, she tried not to think about it too hard, lest her imagination run away with the worst ideas.

As he went on about skipping his dose, not caring if he hurt himself, so long as it offered his human mind a moment of reprieve... she sympathized with that want, but it also scared her. Her pencil stopped it gentle scratching on the paper as the snake swallowed hard, "I care if you hurt yourself." she said softly, lifting her pale gaze to him after he'd closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillar again. He just looked so pale and tired...

Sometimes, she felt the same looking at her cousin as she did looking at herself; struggling to find that child that was carefree and happy... who wasn't hurt and marred by the world yet. As the years pressed on, it was harder to remember when they were little, and the worst thing that could happen was getting in trouble by their parents for whatever silly or dangerous fiasco they'd gotten themselves into. They were both just so angry and scared, enduring crippling pain more often then they ought to. It wasn't fair.

For a time now, Illowy had been trying to come up with some solution to try to help her cousin. Even if it was in a small way. Even if it was just so he wouldn't have to feel so alone. She just wasn't quite sure how to achieve it yet. There was a lot of research still to do, learning, planning, preparing.

Illowy pencil twirled through her fingers as she leaned her own head back against the pillar, "I don't want you to hurt yourself... but whatever you choose to do, I'll support you or cover for you or whatever it is you need me to do." sometimes she wondered what when on in the shrieking shack. She wondered who all was there, if they were all okay. But naturally her cousin was always her first priority, and she hated the idea of him locking himself away clapped in chains like some kind of animal. He didn't deserve that.

Kyle eventually let out a heavy sight and rubbed his face before running his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face, though it was only a matter of time before it found its way back. The boy had chronically messy hair that seemed to combat his every attempt to tame it. "Much as I may want to...I cant skip a dose. If the professors find out, i could get in real trouble. kicked out kind of trouble. Or worse...losing my position on the quidditch team."

Kyle had always loved Quidditch. Idolized the Kenmare Kestrals and dreamed of counting himself among them. Once he was cursed, he was sure that dream was squashed and while he still loved the game and the team it had a bitter sweet tinge to it some times. Joining the quidditch team last year and being made the captain no less was a huge accomplishment for him. Gave him purpose and a sense of belonging. Made him think maybe his dream wasnt so crazy after all. back to back losses, an injury and his own bad relapsing into bad behavior however cost him not only captain but a place on the team in general. Recently however he was able to get back onto the team. Second string sure, a bench warmer. It stung being reduced to that when he was once someone more important. Atleast he was in the air when they won the first game this season

he let out a rueful chuckle before looking over at Illowy "You know, one of these days a game is going to fall during the full moon week. Wonder if the extra bad mood and agitation will make me a better or worse beater?"

@Kyle Derook

It was more then a relief to hear him let go of the idea of skipping a dose. In her mind, it felt safer... even though she knew the mental and emotional toll it took on him to have to suffer through the transformation. The last thing she wanted was to find out that without the aid of the wolfbane, he'd hurt himself, or someone else, seriously. There was no way he would be able to bare another Duke situation.

A small smirk raised to her lips as he joked lightly about a full moon falling near a Quidditch game, "Probably would depend on who you were up against and how cocky yer feelin' about winning." she teased, "Either way, I know you'd give it your best. But damn, imagine how hard ye'd bat if you were pissy at the other team." the snake laughed a little at the, admittedly, dark humor of the idea.

It felt a little strange to joke about his affliction. They'd never laughed about it before, at least in the dark humor sort of way. It gave it an odd aire of normalcy. Then again... wasn't this the new normal? Even she'd been heard on more then one occasion joking in one manner or another about her own curse. Then again, if they couldn't laugh about it, the only other options were to either cry or get mad.

Illowy swiped a stray hair from her face before looking over to her cousin. How had this become their normal? Where exactly had they mistepped? She doubted that she'd ever know precisely. All that was left was to keep moving forward for as long as they could... at least, as long as she could. She'd yet to talk to him about her most recent theories regarding her own affliction. But that was a conversation best saved for after the full moon when he was more back to himself.

"Wanna snack? I got extras?" she offered.