Lookin’ Glum PV Alan Fin

Fall was a good month, it still was somewhat warm on many days but slowly grew colder as it was progressing towards freezing winter days and nights. Alan had not too much to say about any specific season but he would assume that he loved summer the most as it had the most fun activities to choose from. This thought alone made him think back to the water fight and a small smile curled on his lip. He was being followed by his cat as he made his way to the courtyard, happy to catch some fresh air after he had fed Tiger with some leftovers he had taken from the great hall. Classes were long over by now and the fourth year had shoved homework away, as he would do them later in the evening or perhaps in the morning if time had ran away from him. Homework generally seemed to be a silly concept, but the fourth year was not even going to start about that. He wanted the day to stay nice, so he decided to head over to the courtyard as he found the place to be pleasant to look at and Tiger liked to explore it and chase bugs around the grass.

Upon arrival he would find the courtyard mostly empty, aside from a single student he found within and on further inspection Alan would notice that the other kid did look a little troubled. Was it alright for Alan to just intervene? After spending a little time on the thought he had come to the conclusion that asking the other kid would not hurt so after giving himself an inner pep talk, he would head over to the boy and draw their attention to himself by giving a quiet murmur. "Are you alright?", the fourth year would ask the other kid. He had not seen him around much before so the fourth year was all too sure that he must have been from another house besides his own. Casting a glance down he would see him in only a thin shirt, as the cloak that was mean to protect him from those autumn winds had been folded over his laps. Alone the sight made a shiver run past Alan's spine as he himself was wearing a warm hoodie and black pants. "Aren't you cold?" Alan clearly did not mean to bother the other figure, but he had reason to be concerned, even though they did not know each other at all. But that was about to change.

@Alan Vanes

Howard was still deep in thought when his sensitive nose picked up on a scent. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary as it seemed feline in nature. There were plenty of them that roamed the halls of the castle and scurried around the grounds. He always thought it was a bit weird that the students were allowed pets, but he supposed it was to help teach them responsibility. Didn’t mean he liked having to smell them all the time and he silently thanked the gods he wasn’t allergic.

As he sniffed the air, Howard would pick up on another scent as well. This one being human and most likely the owner of the feline. His senses served him well as sure enough another student would enter the courtyard followed closely by a cat. With a small shrug he dismissed them immediately as his mind was still consumed by his worries. However, it seemed like it would be his unlucky evening as the footsteps turned in his direction. With a roll of his eyes, Howard would gaze upon the would be intruder of his peace.

The face seemed vaguely familiar, as did most of them by now. Every year a new influx of them would come along but those that had been here as long as he were marked by memory. There was no name that would register, but Howard assumed he was probably around his age. The other boy was a bit shorter and on the smaller side but still had an athletic appearance. Howard’s face would look anything but enthused as the other approached and the question he asked was one he was sick of hearing.

Are you alright? Something complete strangers seemed to ask him on the regular. He shouldn’t really blame them considering his appearance. The reddened eyes and deathly looking skin surely didn’t look healthy, but it wasn’t anyone else’s business as far as he was concerned. The other boy was just about to receive a torrent of insults that Howard usually gave to those that poked into his affairs, but when he made eye contact something would give him pause.

When the other came into his proximity a sudden calm overcame him. The concern that he was harboring and the anger that always bubbled just below seemed to drift away. Howard felt himself sitting up a little straighter and breathing deep and steady as the scowl he wore turned neutral. It was odd how comforting the other boys presence was, but Howard had stopped questioning the peculiarities of this strange world a long time ago.

“I’m fine.” The Dhampir stated calmly, sure the ‘why do you look that way’ question was soon to follow, but instead the other asked if he was cold. It was clear to Howard that this boy had no idea what he was and even if he did most were still surprised by his attire. He was often dressed from head to toe during the summer to protect his flesh and often considered underdressed during the colder months. “No, seriously, I’m fine. I don’t really get cold anymore.” He stated matter of factly before asking a question of his own. “Why do you ask?”

"You don't get cold... anymore?" the fourth year would repeat the other boy's words with a hint of confusion and only now that the other boy was looking at him saw the familiar red irises of dark crimson. Realization dawned visibly on his face, Alan was no one to hide the way he was feeling and even if he tried his body usually showed his thoughts. "Oh," he muttered as he furrowed his brows in thought as his mind shifted and started inwardly listing all the signs of vampirism. As he let his focus slip for the few seconds he was deep in thought, his own appearance seemed to shift as a flicker of red would paint his own eyes in the very same crimson the other kid was portraying. Alan was not even aware of this as he shook off the thoughts as his eyes cleared back to their clear green reminding of a spring meadow or a forest of some sort, a smile still present on his face as he tilted his head ever so slightly. "You are a dhampir, I assume? I didn't know they don't get cold," he muttered and it was unclear whether it was a statement or a question.

"What's your name? I'm Alan," he finally introduced himself to the dhampir, seemingly not bothered in the slightest by what he was talking to. Aside from the initial wonder or surprise there had been no sign of Alan acknowledging Howard to be vastly different from any of the other students. But Alan had no reason to care about a student being different, especially if it was not made by choice, he himself was not exactly the average wizard. He had been over hiding what he was, having gained some confidence over the past years, but he still preferred to stick to who he was.

@Alan Vanes

”Um, not really. I mean...” Howard began to answer the other boy’s question about body temperature, but something occurred that gave him pause. As the pair made eye contact, the other’s facial expression went from one of slight confusion to understanding as the realization of what Howard was dawned on him. It may seem the smallest of gestures, but the mere fact that his features did not immediately register shock or fear upon realizing the nature of the being before him was an immediate relief.

The surprise of the other boy’s reaction to him would not be the only reason to give him pause. As Howard looked into his eyes there would be a brief moment where his irises would shift in color, the green fazing out to be replaced by a red that matched his own. Never before had he seen such a thing and it caused him to cock his head to the side like an interested puppy and point with his index finger. “Your eyes...” Howard began as the curiosity swept over him. He had never seen another person with eyes the color of his before, but just as he began to comment on them they would shift back to the greenish tint. “Woah...they...I swear they just changed colors.” It was an obvious statement, but Howard was anything but a wordsmith and was genuinely surprised by the physical reaction in the other boy.

It would seem that the pair would start to speak at the same time, both curious of the other’s nature. Howard would lower his finger and nod his head, allowing the other boy’s question to take precedence and confirming that he was indeed a Dhampir. “Yes, I am. It’s not that I don’t get cold, it’s just...well...it’s complicated. The...uh...condition effects everyone a little differently. I can still feel the cold but inside I’m...like...half undead.” His explanation was far from thorough and condition was term he didn’t care for, but it was the best he could do really. Howard would pause for a moment as his eyes shifted around. He was surprised with himself now as the usually tight lipped loner was so openly discussing his own nature. It was usually a subject that he shied away from, especially when talking to strangers, but again for some reason he just felt totally relaxed and comfortable.

They would be strangers no more however as Alan introduced himself and inquired about him as well. “Names Howard.” He answered as he extended his hand for a greeting shake. It was a terribly Muggle thing to do, but a habit he had not gotten rid of. “Now you tell me. How’d you do that trick with your eyes?”

Howard seemed to be taken aback by something and would soon refer to his eyes, making Alan chuckle with a hint of nervousness. Mostly because he had no idea how exactly his appearance had changed this very moment and hoped it had not been something major. Alan still had difficulties about all of this, not that he minded others knowing but he had spend his whole life having to hide what and who he was so he felt weirdly exposed when exactly those things were mentioned. But he knew that he would have to get used to it and learn to be proud of what he was and eventually use those abilities as they could help him. But when the other would proceed with his explanation Alan would nod slowly, kind of interested in the topic as he had never had the opportunity to learn anything like this. "I uhm... I don't mean to intrude b-but you said... not anymore? I always thought dhampirs are born," he muttered slowly, a little insecure as if he was testing the waters. This seemed to be quite the personal question and he certainly did not mean to intrude or make the other boy speak about things he did not want to address. "You don't have to reply of course! If you don't want to I mean..."

When he asked him about his eyes once again, Alan simply smiled at the other kid and thought about how to best explain it. "Have you heard about metamorphs before? We are basically able to change any physical attribute about ourselves so uhm... I guess my eyes changed because of that? It happens when we focus too much or too little and well if we wish to change something," he explained to the other kid, hoping that it would somehow make sense. He never had to explain it to someone else, at least not like this but he hoped it was enough to make him understand.

@Alan Vanes

“I don’t mind.” Howard replied to Alan’s inquiry. Some that knew him would most likely label him as antisocial and they wouldn’t be completely wrong. He was rarely ever the first one to instigate discussion and being alone was never a problem for him, but Howard had no issue being open about himself once you got him talking. “Almost all Dhampirs are born...I think.” Truth be told he was still learning about his own nature. His creator had taken little time explaining to him what he now was and what he had learned since was from the library. “But I was turned into one by another Dhampir. I think Thrall is what it’s technically called. From what I’ve read it is something that all Dhampirs are capable of but it is considered a crime to do so. So...yeah, that’s what happened to me. Does that make sense?” Howard’s gaze would turn uncertain as he explained himself to Alan. It was often a topic that people found unnerving or scary, but he would continue to explain if Alan had further questions.

It would be then that the other would begin to explain about his own unique nature. As Alan spoke, Howard would perk up a bit. It wasn’t often that he met another student that was “different” from all the rest. Although Alan did not have distinguishing features such as lifeless flesh or fangs, it was interesting to hear of others in the magical community that were born outside of the norm. “Oh yeah! Metamorphs. Think we went over that in Transfiguration maybe.” Howard wasn’t the best student so when Alan implied that they were able to change their appearance at will, it came as a surprise. “Wicked!” He exclaimed as a smile crept its way across his lips. “So you can change stuff whenever you want? Lemme see!” Maybe it was a bit forward of Howard to ask, but social formalities meant very little to the Dhampir.

"Yeah, I think it does," muttered the fourth year as he tilted his head slightly. "Did it hurt? The teeth are pretty sharp are they not?" He would further inquire with a small shudder. He was glad to be human, not that it was anyone's fault if they were a Blood Thrall but Alan would consider that an experience he would be able to live without. The fourth year would sit down with the Hufflepuff, after all they had begun an actual conversation now so it would be weird for him to just stand around. He was facing the other boy, hoping that he also wanted to talk a little longer.

Alan had never heard that sentence and was a little taken aback by it. "Lemme see" has been the one sentence he had grown to fear. He did not want to seem like a circus puppet or an attraction but oddly enough he did not feel that worry when he was talking to Howard, it was as if the other understood him exactly and understood fully how it was to be different. So after taking a look around the perimeter to make sure that absolutely no one was around, the fourth year would allow himself a little fun and with a small yet nervous smile on his lip would take shape of the boy in front of him. He would try at least, it was no perfect replica as the two of them were still strangers but the face was spot on. But quickly the boy would change back to his usual self alas he kept the dhampir red eyes and a pair of fangs in case the Hufflepuff wasn't satisfied yet. "I would never use this for bad though, no worries... I think this is what scares people about metamorph and so it scares me to use these abilities..." he began to explain until he fully transitioned back to his own self. "People get scared and they stare, but you probably know that". Alan used to do this as a child, make himself look the tiny version of various adult people and tried to impress them, but his attempts were often met with shock and the older he grew the more he understood that people tend to see metamorphs as freaks of nature. So Alan would stop.

@Alan Vanes

Howard would nod as he was please that Alan was able to at least partially understand his explanation of what had happened to him. Being of such a bizarre nature was always difficult to explain. “Honestly, I can’t quite remember any pain. The memory is so foggy. It was just a quick moment of panic and then everything just went black. Almost felt like drifting off to sleep and when I came to everything had changed.” The last words would be spoken softly as his red eyes stared off in a moment of thought. “It was really scary at first. I was still me...but not. There was all these new senses and feelings all crashing around in my mind. Trying to sort them out seemed impossible and my maker didn’t stick around long, so I just had to figure it out.” This statement was said more matter of factly as Howard offered a shrug to go with it. Those that knew him might be surprised by how open he was willing to be with this new acquaintance, but that was a common misconception about Howard. He was of course antisocial by nature, but if you’re willing to prod, he’s pretty much an open book.

“Oh yeah, the teeth?” Howard blurted out as he remembered the other part of Alan’s question. “They are pretty sharp. Here, look!” He said as his brows raised in excitement. He’d been working on controlling fangs and there was just something about Alan that set him at such ease. Sharing himself in this way just felt completely natural. Using his index finger, Howard pulled his lip up to expose the empty gap in his gum line where normal human incisors should be. His face would scrunch and contort slightly as his facial muscles flexed. Not but a moment later a single fang would slowly emerge from its recesses. “Look at that!” Howard’s words would be hard to understand as he held his lips parted, but his eyes would shine with a bit of thrill as he shared something that most found disturbing, but in this case just felt normal.

As Howard let his lips fall back into place and his fang retracted, it would be then he would ask Alan to show him more of his ability. It might have been too forward but Howard often lacked the social niceties that most had. Fortunately Alan seemed just as comfortable as him and after a moment of concentration he again mirrored Howard’s image. “Wicked!” The Dhampir said followed by a burst of laughter and a slap of his knee. “Pssh.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes at Alan’s statement about how others reacted to his abilities. “Screw em. We are just as natural they are. Think they’re all that because what? They’re normal?” He would gesture air quotes with the last. “You shouldn’t ever let some square make ya feel bad about yourself. Should be proud of what ya are and what ya can do. I know I am and if they don’t like it, their problem, not mine.” Howard concluded his mini rant with a gentle poke at Alan’s chest to emphasize his point.

Alan was listening and for once his mind wasn't racing, yet it was fully blank as he listened with the world swirling around his mind loosely. They were there but he was unable to grasp them, as if they were just barely out of reach and no tiptoeing or stretching would help to get closer to them. He truly felt for Howard though, it was different but the same. Worlds apart and yet he could somewhat relate. "How... how is it? Was it scary to you know... drink? Often dhampirs are born that way but not you, so was it weird?", he would ask the red eyed boy with a carefulness in his voice as if he was tip-toeing over hot coals or shards of glass. Not because he was worried or scared but because he did not want to breach a topic or open a box that the dhampir wanted to keep a tight seal on.

He grew more comfortable with being around Howard and asking him questions quite quickly, none of those were rude questions he would hope? He would stare in awe when the Hufflepuff would show him how he was able to retract his teeth. "That's fascinating!" It was not meant to be uplifting or anything, it was a pretty genuine exclamation as he shifted back once Howard would withdraw his fangs again, the adrenaline and excitement would still rush through his veins in moderate amounts. The words that followed after Alan in return showed him his abilities, would catch the fourth year off guard on a whole other level. He had never heard someone be so vocal about him being normal, after they had learned what he was. Some people didn't say anything at all and just didn't think anything of it but for probably the very first time he was met with nothing but acceptance and positivity which made a grin sprout on his face, that one might call contagious. "Yes!" he agreed, his voice was clear but all the feelings made it a bit softer sounding, specks of gold would gather within the green irises as he would grin at the dhampir in front of him. A change subtle yet unbeknownst to the fourth year.