Away PV Jack Closed

((OOC note: Occurs approx. the same time as A Social Experiment during which Flash Holmwood was abducted by Selim Faust at around noon and woke up in the basements of the dungeons some time after.))

April 8th.
An owl sent with an envelope containing five tokens and a note in it was released in the afternoon. It was the sixth trip for the same owl requested by the same student.

Reducio

Dear Flash,

Please keep these tokens with you as a reminder that I owe you five favors until you are ready to cash in said favors.

Thanks,

Unlike the previous five deliveries the owl had been asked to make, however, this one could not be completed. While the other envelopes had been sent to schoolmates that had been more or less simple to locate, the last was nowhere the owl could easily get to. Thus, it soon returned the sealed envelope back to its sender - a sender who became rather disconcerted at the final failure of delivery.

Jack hurried back to the Severus Snape dormitory to see if he could find anyone else who might have known where Flash had gone. What he found instead, however, was a note on the door of the room that he and Flash shared.

"I found a little bird wandering about in the Wood. Decided it'd look better in a cage at Home."

-Dweller of the Dungeons, Selim Faust

If Jack hadn't been worried before, he certainly was after discovering the note.

It was then that he decided he would need help on his venture. The dungeons, as he had learned from experiences past, were not easy to navigate. There were few who Jack knew could find their way around and even fewer still who the redhead could get ahold of easily. The one person he was aware of who fit both those criteria had more reason to laugh in his face than help him, but there was nothing for it. Jack had to try anyway. He was desperate.

Just as Flash had a regular routine of running in the mornings, Jack was aware that Erin liked to work out outdoors. He raced around the grounds for a bit, attempting to find her before eventually coming across her muscular form carefully setting down a - was that...was that a cinderblock?

Shaking his mind off the train of thought pondering where she had gotten it from, he concentrated instead on trying to conjure up the proper words with which to answer her blunt and direct question of 'what?'.

"Ryan, I'm sorry to disturb you," he began, a little breathily due to both having run around and the panic causing adrenaline to course through his veins. "But I really, really need your help. If there was anyone else I could turn to, I would, but you're the best person I know for navigating the dungeons."

He paused a moment in order to regain a little more air before continuing, looking up at her with earnest fear. "My dorm mate, Flash Holmwood, is missing. I think another dorm mate of mine - Fangs, Selim Faust - took him and left me a note so I would go after him into the dungeons. I think that's where he's keeping Flash."

Despite his survival instincts screaming at him to keep his distance, Jack stepped up a little closer to Erin. "Please. If you help me, I'll owe you a favor. Whatever you want that I can do."

@Erin Ryan

Where had Erin gotten the cinderblock from?

Well, she had stolen it. Her trips to and from Hogsmeade, among other places had given her access and yes... opportunity to 'liberate' a few such 'strange stones' during her forays. In fact, their transport was an exertion and an exercise of endurance on its own. Each getting easier to carry than the last, she had procured quite a collection of 'lifting stones' as she called them.

"Ryan, I'm sorry to disturb you," Jack claimed. His first lie of the day it would seem. A social nicety that people overused -- 'sorry.' A word that had intended meaning but was used for an intended reaction. A 'magic word' more powerful than an incantation that would grant one ingress, egress, forgiveness, second and third chances. A word that was supposed to mean regret, acknowledgement and carry with it a promise. A promise that it would never happen again. Not a preemptive statement to initiate a communication with. Forgive my trespasses as I commit them, for they will surely be many."

"But I really, really need your help. If there was anyone else I could turn to, I would, but you're the best person I know for navigating the dungeons."

If there was anyone else. Last pick to boot, awesome. He really knew how to make her feel good about this interaction. An uncomfortable pause would follow, one that she would not bother to fill.

"My dorm mate, Flash Holmwood, is missing. I think another dorm mate of mine - Fangs, Selim Faust - took him and left me a note so I would go after him into the dungeons. I think that's where he's keeping Flash."

"Yeah, sounds about right," she agreed as her eyes darted towards her lifting stones. "He indicated that he was the favorite," she admitted. Considering Jack's reaction, Selim "might have been right." She wondered if his concern was contrite. If this was feigned like their entire relationship was. She did not think so, there was no audience, there was no gains. Merlin, she wished someone would hold such sentiment for her.

"Please. If you help me, I'll owe you a favor. Whatever you want that I can do."

She shook her head side to side. "There is nothing from you that I want," she admitted. Everything she ever wanted could not be created. She had tried. She did not want lip service or claims, she did not want physical acts or social connections. She wanted sentiments that either were or were not. Something that she had given up on after she relinquished everything else.

"He is fine," Erin announced. When it came down to it, she did not want to hurt Jack. It did not matter if he was lie, a fake, or something else. "Flash, that is," she specified. "I kidnapped Selim weeks ago on impulse. Wanted to give you a scare. Never hurt him, except the catching a little," she shrugged as she looked away. "He suggested grabbing Flash because you had no affection for him, he must have run off on his own." She confessed, not bothering to lie. What would he do -- tell her that he hated her? Physically assail her with that effete form? Blast her with some magic spell? She would endure, she always had. "Ultimately, I could not be bothered... I suppose Selim was more committed than I."

She would abandon the cinderblocks with a sigh. She no longer felt like lifting. The air felt thicker now, it was getting hard to breathe. She would not offer an apology, like Jack's preemptive one. She was not apologetic for sins she was never caught committing. For trespasses that ultimately were not fully committed at least by her. "I know that you do not want to spend time with me, I won't drag this out any more," She raised her left hand. "Use your left hand, follow the corridors to the left. Not every wall is actually a wall. Good luck with whatever is going on with your friends." She made a dismissive gesture with the same left hand as she started to walk towards the forbidden wood rather than the castle.

As it so happened, Jack had honestly been sorry to disturb Erin. Not sorry enough to keep from disturbing her, but there was some measure of regret. He was not the sort to speak such niceties to someone he knew was so blunt and direct, particularly when he was aware how sick of his subterfudge and deception she was. At her mistranslation of what he said, he frowned, his brows narrowing.

"Forgive my trespasses as I commit them, for they will surely be many."

"That's not what I meant," he protested. "I mean...I do hope you'll forgive me, but I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I'm just making you aware that I'm not bothering you without regret."

Sensing how she was likely to take his next statement after he'd spoken it, he hesitated, then sighed and tried to explain. Whether she chose to listen or not was her choice, but he felt he owed it to her and to himself to at least try."The reason why I'd turn to someone else if I could is not because you are the person I'd least want to spend time with. It's because I know I've caused you enough pain and trouble so far and I know I'm the last person who could possibly be so arrogant to presume I deserve your time. I just..." He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated and concenrned. Tears began to well in his eyes. "...I don't know what else to do. You're the bravest and most capable person I know here at Hogwarts. Even if you don't want anything to do with me; even if you honestly want nothing from me, I need you."

Reducio

<Selim has lost his mind. He has Flash tied up in the bloody basement. Surgical tools. I feel like I’m in a survival horror video game. Very exciting. I always hoped my magical education would involve torturing my fellow students. Unravelling this mess might be beyond me but I’ll do what I can to protect Flash.>

A voice suddenly spoke into Jack's mind. He paled. "Bangarang," the boy muttered under his breath as if it were a curse word.

<Ask him if he wants to make a deal with me. I'll do whatever he wants if he lets Flash go. Flash has nothing to do with this. Or...if you think you can...tell him you'll prove yourself. Ask for the scalpel. Seem as if you're going to cut Flash...but then cut his bonds. If that would put you in any danger, though, don't do it.>

<He wants to hurt you, Jack, to drive you away and he is convinced that the only way to do that is to hurt the people you care about. He wants you to believe he's too far gone to be saved. I don't think he'll believe you if you promise to stay away from him. Besides which, I'm not sure I want him to know I'm communicating with you right now. Can you honestly say you will just stop caring about him because he wants you to?

He’s already slammed me up against a wall and taken my wand. He didn’t bring me here because he trusts me. He doesn’t trust anyone. If I can grab one, I will but my chances are low.>

<He did what?! Shit...okay, sit tight. I'm coming, but I'm bringing back-up. Has he hurt you or Flash?>

Sweat began to bead on Jack's skin. He rubbed his eyes, trying to keep the wetness behind them at bay. Then he met Eris' gaze again.

"Yeah, sounds about right. He indicated that he was the favorite. Might have been right."

"Who said who was the favorite?" The redhead asked, unsure he heard the Slytherin girl right. As she continued, however, he grew increasingly more and more horrified.

"He is fine. Flash, that is. I kidnapped Selim weeks ago on impulse. Wanted to give you a scare. Never hurt him, except the catching a little. He suggested grabbing Flash because you had no affection for him, he must have run off on his own."

"You did what?!" And...and Selim had suggested...but why?! None of it made sense. Selim couldn't have been jealous, could he have?

"Ultimately, I could not be bothered... I suppose Selim was more committed than I."

Blinking rapidly, he ran another hand through his already disheveled hair and tried to think of what to do. He took a few steps toward her, looking forlorn as if torn between wanting to ask her why and to give her a hug. Before he could do either, however, she continued speaking.

"I know that you do not want to spend time with me, I won't drag this out any more. Use your left hand, follow the corridors to the left. Not every wall is actually a wall. Good luck with whatever is going on with your friends."

He shook his head vehemently again. "You're wrong, Erin. I really enjoy spending time with you. It's you I figured who wouldn't want to spend time with me anymore. Is that right?" The boy tipped his head at her. Then he closed the distance between them, heedless of what he knew very well she could do to him if she felt threatened or otherwise displeased with his behavior.

"You're no more or less my friend than they are," he told her, attempting to embrace her with a tight squeeze, though his body trembled. Whether it was from stress, fear of her, concern over the boys in the basement, or a combination, it was hard to say. "I care about you, Erin. I always have. That was never a lie."

@Erin Ryan

She did not believe him. Words came easily to him. He knew so many. Comparatively she felt vacuous. A deep breath in and out, she swallowed hard. There was nothing to swallow. The truth was astonishingly not particularly relevant. Some words were simply nice to hear. She was far from brave or powerful, she was fearless and possessed a modicum of brawn in a castle full of book worms. They could easily do more with the flick of a wand than she could do with a lifetime of conditioning. She did what she did for one simple reason -- to hide, to lie and to narrow the gap.

It was also unnecessary. She told him the truth, that Selim identified Flash as the 'favorite.' That she had impulsively tried to get jack's attention. It had been over half-a-year she reminded herself. Months without explanation. Without reason, less her own festering madness that only swelled. The doppelgangers that could not possibly be coincidental. Jack, the opportunist, even now. Yet, for the same reason that she could not be a capable wizard, there was no flash of anger, of self-righteous indignation. There was nothing where there should have been something, a fact that Erin was painfully cognizant of. There was this vague heat, as fleeting as it was in her belly that came and went.

She would not see his expression. The honesty, the truth or the potential pain of his words. Not that it mattered, the day they first met, he played the role of jealous paramour well. He represented, with the jealousy also, what she had always hoped for but found too selfish and ridiculous to hope for. She believed him. She knew his face and hos body could lie as well as his lips.

"You're wrong, Erin. I really enjoy spending time with you. It's you I figured who wouldn't want to spend time with me anymore. Is that right?"

"We're strangers," she admitted. What she knew was a lie. In more than name, but in ambition and action. He was there to placate her? Perhaps. To extract information from her? More likely. To experience a some sort of diversionary thrill? She was uncertain. Why was always a question, but she knew from the before-time when her thoughts were uncompromised that people were inherently cruel.

"You're no more or less my friend than they are."

"Surely," a self-depreciating laugh would shake her but make no sound. She could feel the scrape of his feet, so she stopped. Revenge for planning, partially implementing harassment of her own as a meager form of what -- recompense? A desperate plea for attention? She was not even certain any longer. She would stop and tense, fight if necessary, but she would not start it.

A hug. She had never been hugged before, had she? Geoffrey was not a hugger, too fragile and self-interested. Nor her father, affections were a foreign concept, her mother no exception oddly enough. She was not certain if she liked it. Hugs, that is. It reminded her of a restraint. A passive position, being the one hugged. An act of trust to be in this state. She had no trust for him. She had made a habit of trusting people that she should not. Jack was not the only one, Thomas was another. Didn't someone say that it was a sign of madness to repeat the same actions over and over again and expect a different result.

"I care about you, Erin. I always have. That was never a lie."

"We don't care about each other," Erin admitted with her gaze downcast at the revelation. "People that care about each other don't lie. They also don't consider kidnapping their other friends in some act of vengeance or bid for attention," she narrated. They were toxic at best for one another. It was as a pleasant lie and nothing more.

"You won't find any hags down there, so don't worry," she added. An afterthought, he was likely afraid of the crones. There was a strange smell in her hair -- the faint smell of burnt sage and sulfur. He would feel something move, like her shoulders were rolling but she was not moving. Her hand reached for his, her skin felt dry, almost like leather. It was not a comforting motion, she was pulling his hands free.

It was wholly unnecessary. "Let's find your friend," she swallowed. Selim was a bit odd, like a goth chick with a... something that rhymed. Jack liked him. Selim liked Jack. There was real sentiment there and whoever this Flash person is, if that was his real name, was likely important to them also.

Jack didn't contest Erin's claim that they were strangers. He would have liked to, but he didn't know how true that was. Could he say he knew her when the her he knew had been under the influence of the pendant? Could she say she knew him when he was simply playing the role of the boyfriend she wanted even if he might have genuinely enjoyed it some of the time? If he couldn't differentiate how much of their relationship as people had been real and how much hadn't, how could she? Still, to call each other strangers, he thought, would have been wrong.

Still, he let her. Whatever made her feel most comfortable. Perhaps he was doing it again - just going along with what she most wanted to think and hear - but if he knew no better truth, he wasn't about to deny her hers.

He probably deserved her having tried to abduct Selim, but Selim hadn't. Perhaps Erin had been the one responsible for his scars from the Fall Ball as well. All of that seemed to matter little now. Now, something was happening and even if Jack hadn't been able to stop people he cared about from being hurt or attacked then, he could at least focus on doing something about it now.

That had to begin, though, with mending what he could of what he had broken before. He knew he couldn't get Erin to trust him again, not so easily, but he still wanted her to know what he felt and thought whether she believed him or not. All he could do was keep expressing his truths to her until she finally decided to accept them or ignroe him completely. As of yet, she had yet to shun him and he took that as a good sign.

"We don't care about each other," she told him.

Releasing her slowly, gently from the hug that may have been more for him than her, Jack sighed deeply.

"People that care about each other don't lie. They also don't consider kidnapping their other friends in some act of vengeance or bid for attention."

"I never lied to you verbally," he protested as he was sure he must have done before. "But regardless, I must respectfully disagree with you. People who care about each other lie to each other all the time. They think they're protecting that person; that they lie to them for their own good. As for kidnapping their other friends, they do that too."

He glanced away, feeling ridiculous. "Just like you might have tried to kidnap Selim to get at me, Selim kidnapped Flash. Supposedly, he's doing it to hurt me so I stay away from him. That makes no sense, though, because most people would just try to stay away from someone if they really wanted them to stay away, not hurt people they care about."

The thought of what Flash and Kazuo might have been going through at that moment, in the dark, dank basement with Selim and his crazy puppet, caused him to shudder. "Look, Ryan. I tried to hurt you because I wanted to teach you a lesson in order to keep you from getting even more hurt in the future. Selim is trying to do the same thing to me. But I wouldn't have done that if I didn't care about you and Selim wouldn't be doing this if he didn't care about me. Those may be convoluted examples, but in any case, people who care about each other hurt each other whether they mean to or not. That's just a fact of life. Haven't you learned that by now?"

"You won't find any hags down there, so don't worry."

His brows drew together in confusion as she told him he wouldn't find any hags down there.

"What? Why not?" Jack wanted to know, suddenly alarmed. It may have been a relief to know they weren't likely to run into them there, but it was worse to not know where they were at all. "Where have they gone?" As he studied her face, her hair, her skin, he thought he felt something move but couldn't figure out what. The dryness of her skin alarmed him when she attempted to get free of his hug and he let her. "Erin...your skin. Are you okay?"

"Let's find your friend," she was saying.

He blinked at her perplexedly again, wondering what had changed. But when he opened his mouth again, he said, "They're not my friends, but I care about them. Just like I care about you."

The boy moved to head back to the castle, then. "Thank you for helping me look for them. After this, I will owe you a favor, whether you want anything from me or not."

@Erin Ryan

"I never lied to you verbally" your honor was a poor defense.

"You answered to a name that was not yours, never correcting me," she reminded him. He had taken on another person's roles, at least their roles in association with her.

"But regardless, I must respectfully disagree with you. People who care about each other lie to each other all the time. They think they're protecting that person; that they lie to them for their own good. As for kidnapping their other friends, they do that too." Jack claimed. Her head partially turned, just not enough as she tried to look over at him incredulously. He could not be serious with a statement such as that.

"That's messed up," the unstable, mad youth commented.

Dedicated to the narrative he persisted. "Just like you might have tried to kidnap Selim to get at me, Selim kidnapped Flash. Supposedly, he's doing it to hurt me so I stay away from him. That makes no sense, though, because most people would just try to stay away from someone if they really wanted them to stay away, not hurt people they care about."

"No," she admitted. She could not speak for Selim's reasons but hers were simple. "I just wanted to take something from you, to cause you fear and grief. There was no greater lesson intended. I simply wanted to hurt you as you hurt me," because she was angry. A sick, too late revelation.

"Look, Ryan. I tried to hurt you because I wanted to teach you a lesson in order to keep you from getting even more hurt in the future. Selim is trying to do the same thing to me. But I wouldn't have done that if I didn't care about you and Selim wouldn't be doing this if he didn't care about me. Those may be convoluted examples, but in any case, people who care about each other hurt each other whether they mean to or not. That's just a fact of life. Haven't you learned that by now?"

She was supposed to be the cracked one. The one that was irredeemably damaged, yet he was the crazy one in this matter. "Being alone seems preferable after all," she admitted. Something in nature made her yearn for more. A foolish, dangerous want if it only led to pain. Where enemies treated her with more kindness and regard than friends. Selim and Jack were as good of friends as her and Thomas if that was indeed the case. A statement that defied reason and logic. "Or, your vision of affection and love is abusive; something that can be manipulated and controlled," a possession. One could not own what they love and have it be love, then it becomes want and greed.

A conversation topic, regardless of the truth that needed to end. There was nothing for her here, a truth that was readily apparent. They defined affections in ways that differed too greatly. Ways that could not be reconciled. That is to say, if he really believed hat he said. It defied logic in ways she lacked the stability or the words to argue. He did not enter this ruse with the intention of helping someone he cared for. When they met, he was already believed to be someone else. There was no pre-existing relationship. No person that he knew and cared for that he wished to protect. She was simply a target of random opportunity. But in the end it did not matter, the truth or the lies. The reasons he gave or the ones she chose to accept.

"You won't find any hags down there, so don't worry."

He did not need her. There was no danger that she would shield him from. Just his irate friend that was 'helping' him, whatever helped him sleep at night surely.

"What? Why not?"

"Moved," she announced indifferently. A hunt and a loss would do that to a coven.

"Where have they gone?"

"A secret," she claimed. "But here," she admitted, not that he would find them among the empty cabins.

There was something wrong with her. The parts of her that he could see. Tanned, sallow flesh. The white of her eyes had started to yellow slightly. Her skin felt like chapped leather. Her long, formerly neat nails had ragged edges and seemed thicker than they should be. And perhaps he grew a bit since they last met, or perhaps it was always his imagination how tall she was. She did not seem that much taller than him any more.

"Erin...your skin. Are you okay?"

She was not going to lie. "No," but she would change the subject. "Let's find your friend."

"They're not my friends, but I care about them. Just like I care about you."

If his care involved kidnapping and lies, she did not want his 'care.'Jack was a walking contradiction. He had just said, but moments earlier that this is how friends treat one another. Perhaps it is him that had things reversed -- he was their 'friend' rather than he 'cared' about them. One was a socially-devised relationship to him. A context he defined, whereas the other fostered sentiments and emotions.

Of course, to someone such as Jack, 'care' equated to giving one another pain also. Sadomasochists, the lot of them she supposed. 'Care' or 'friends', it mattered little because they would never agree on a proper term because it did not exist.

"Thank you for helping me look for them. After this, I will owe you a favor, whether you want anything from me or not."

She shook her head, feeling immediately tired by that notion as well as a bit queasy. "I have no needs or wants," she had her closure. She had no debts to pay or idle promises made to be kept. This was the ending, not the beginning of many things.

Moving to the next topic?