Among the Dust and Darkness, There's Peace Cl

Katrina often disappeared. Especially after... well... it was something that she had started doing more recently. She was always finding places that no one went and staying there for hours, the less she was disturbed, the better, as far as she was concerned. No one to ask her what happened or be concerned about her. She was just able to be present and be left alone with her raging thoughts.

Today, Katrina had found a nook in the back of the library, where the dust built up and students hardly ever traveled. She didn't even notice what books were around her, useless details. She had been sitting there for a while, on the ground, not drawing or reading, just sitting there. Numbly watching the dust motes travel in the near stale air. For the first time in a while, she wasn't thinking, she wasn't worrying, she was just there. The Third Year was able to avoid everything and everyone and was doing... she was managing.

Katrina heard the footsteps far before Sapphire turned into the aisle. The Gryffindor knew was paranoid now, her wand in her hands before she even saw Sapphire's face. When the recollection set in, Katrina slipped her wand back away, no need for it now, she didn't need to defend herself. Katrina sat in silence, pretending not to be watching Sapphire, waiting to see if the girl would notice she was there. Waiting, wondering, watching.

Katrina had changed a lot. She knew she had a lot more to change. When the shock and terror finally passed, maybe, possibly, she could return to normal. Until then, she was this numb and frightened girl, a hollow void of who she used to be. In silence, she sat again, unsure of what to do.

Reducio

Note: this is my first post Murder Thread, thread, so I am basically glossing over any and all details. @Sapphire Riddle, and anyone else who joins, I prefer not to bring up that night since the thread isn't completed, just send me an owl or dm regarding it if you do want to bring it up and we can discuss further

APPARENTLY THERE WERE PEOPLE THERE, TOO. Mentally, Sapphire cursed to herself. It wasn't as if she had anything against seeing Katrina, but she hadn't expected to have to interact with a human so soon. She hadn't even gotten very far into the stories!

When she got her bearings, she noticed that something was different about Katrina. Before, she'd seemed much more... alive. Yes, she decided that was the word. Before, Katrina Walker had seemed more alive. For a while, she sort of just stood there. It wasn't a statue, frozen in place still, but it was like stagnant water. As if she'd slowed to a stop after nothing had determined her. Kat either didn't notice the pale-haired girl or was acting as if she hadn't - not that Sapph would mind either way, but it gave her anxiety time to set in.

Should... should I talk to her? she thought. The ginger didn't seem to be doing anything, but that didn't mean she wasn't occupied. By which she meant thinking. Personally, she knew she didn't much like being disturbed while thinking deeply.

But... the girl didn't seem to be thinking at all. Which was often a statement used when someone was being stupid, but in this case, it was more like she was a doll. Life-sized, but that was against the point. I probably should, if only just to check in, she thought. But what if I bother her? her mind rebuked. It's not as if you can just book it out of there. She pulled a face at the accidental pun, put quickly sent it away.

She found a seat across the aisle, sitting cross-legged with the book in her lap, open to the last page she'd read. "Er... Hey, Kat." She hesitated. "Er... are you alright? I won't ask specifically what happened, but I do tend to get concerned about my... my friends' wellfares," she said. She didn't know whether the other girl considered her a friend or not and momentarily worried that she'd made a major mishap. Although, she would still listen. And if Katrina didn't want to talk, she would just read her book. Or she'd leave, if her presence was an annoyance as well. Either way, she'd be as supportive as possible, knowing perfectly well what it was like when people weren't supportive.

Katrina didn't go completely unnoticed. Sapphire seemed to debate something, Katrina would have normally picked up on this immediately and would have easily put together the pieces in her mind, but she didn't really. She only briefly acknowledged the observation as it flitted across her mind. Usually, she would have hoped to be alone or to go unnoticed, maybe she would have worried about how she was going to react, take attention to previous similar occurrences, figure out her mood and see if there was any way she could help. However, Katrina didn't really do this now, she just... sat there.

Sapphire took a seat across the aisle. Katrina flinched when Sapphire spoke. It was instinct, one she would usually put a lot of effort in to hide. Usually, she would have hoped it didn't hurt Sapphire's feelings, but now, she sort of blankly sat there. Sapphire's words hung in the air a moment, Katrina not acknowledging them. She could hear just fine, just like she could see and smell and touch. Most of the time, people acknowledged things they could sense. But instead, Katrina found herself listening for other things, footsteps of a kidnapper, a low growl of a--

"I'm..." Katrina started, more to cut off her thoughts than anything else, "I'm alright," Usually Katrina had to put effort in to mask her emotions. But now, she didn't have any emotions really to mask. Katrina took out her wand and rolled it between her fingers, looking at it, but really she was worrying that if something were to attack right now, she might not be able to save Sapphire. Which was absurd in many ways, but at least it was a thought. An improvement over the last while.

"It's strange," Katrina started again, not sure why she was talking aloud but not sure whether or not to stop. Her words hung a moment, perhaps growing suspense, perhaps loosing meaning, "The things that happen to people who try their best. It's never enough. Yet the people who don't try at all do just fine," Katrina didn't completely meet Sapphire's eye, but she glanced up to the book Sapphire was holding, eyes staring through it, "Through everything, I still try to do the best I can to protect, even if it hurts me," Katrina's voice was quiet, almost monotonous, with an edge of pondering.

Katrina looked back to her wand, running her fingers up and down the wood now. Her mind stilled for a moment, she didn't really move at all, her breathing was the most movement she made. Ears catching the slightest sounds around them, paranoia still dominating her consciousness.

SAPPHIRE WAS A BIT GLAD SHE HADN'T SAID ANYTHING WRONG, BUT SHE WAS STILL CONCERNED. She didn't believe what the ginger had said, necessarily, but she wasn't going to pry. She said she wouldn't. And besides, it wasn't her place to do such a thing. There was the slightest aura of worry coming from the other girl, though Sapph couldn't be sure what exactly she was worrying about.

She simply sat and listened. She was good at that. Not good with talking, but she could listen all day if she had to. She understood what Katrina was saying. And half of her was ashamed that she fell into the latter category, often succeeding without trying all that hard. But not being able to protect... she understood that even better. She felt like she could never protect people well, no matter how hard she tried. It was something that constantly plagued her, she felt. It was irrational, but some part of her thought it was her fault her biological parents were dead. She nodded, expression displaying a bit of sombreness.

"I... I can sort of understand that. I want to protect the people I care about as much as I possibly can, but I feel like nothing do will be enough. I don't want to... don't want to lose more people." She didn't need to be talking about herself. Yes, she wanted to show she understood, but she always thought she was making it too much about herself. She sighed, leaning back against the old wood of the shelves. She'd been a bit hunched over the book when she'd started to read it, a terrible habit she sometimes had. It was going to ruin her back, she knew.

She brought her gaze up to look at the other girl, eyes a dustier shade of blue that sort of matched the saturation of the wood. Surely not matching in colour, no, but it did match in saturation. There was a difference... she thought. It had been a while since she had been to an art class.

One hand rested on her bag, which contained her ever-present companions of sketchpad, pen, and parchment. The parchment was for class. She didn't much like using quills, since those were bird feathers and it felt cruel to her. She really did have a soft spot for animals. She had lapsed into silence at this point, not quite knowing what else to say - if anything, since sometimes silence was better than speaking. She wasn't good at small talk either and she didn't have any other good questions to ask, in that moment.

She remembered, back at the astronomy tower, a bit of their conversation. That was last year, which seemed like forever ago. They had been asking questions, and she'd asked about pets. "Er, do you remember last year, when you told me you had a cat?" She paused for a second. "I got a cat as well, over the summer. It's quite nice, to have an animal companion," she said. Her voice was at it's usual soft volume. Not only because it felt natural, but also because this didn't seem like the kind of place one would use a normal volume. It was the kind of place you kept quiet in. Her expression went a bit sad for a second. "Sorry, I don't really know where I was going with that. It just... came to mind. Second year seems so long ago," she said. She was half speaking to herself, on the last statement.

Katrina felt a ghost of her past self take over. Trying to discern Sapphire's emotions, trying to figure out what to say. The ghost passed just as quickly as it had appeared. Katrina felt her eyes glaze over again, focus elsewhere. In a different room, a different wand in her hand, danger, blood.

That was right, Sapphire had lost her parents too. Katrina remembered that. She remembered most things, a fact that only made her struggles worse. They lasted for so long, plaguing the nights, wearing away at her conscience, the memories staying as fresh as they were on that night. Katrina hated the attention on her. It seemed like it always was now. Did Sapphire feel the same way? Did other people have the same troubles?

Katrina looked back up at Sapphire, feeling her eyes on her. There was a layer of concern. Rightfully so. She changed the topic. Her cat, that was a safer topic. Except for the cat, the taxidermy in the shed. No. Not thinking of that. Katrina rebuked herself inwardly, thankful that she even had the energy to do so.

"What's its name?" Katrina asked. It was supposed to be a light comment, a polite question. Instead, it came out forced. The Third-Year looked back down at the wand, her wand, embarrassed and anxious. So much for getting the attention off of her.

"Time is such a... such a weird thing," Katrina agreed, like only a month ago I was fine, but now look at me. Katrina couldn't quite get the words out. She didn't want to acknowledge anything to do with that night. Ever. This was worse than when she ignored the Blossomball for months. At least then she knew that a panic attack was likely to follow. But now, she didn't even know how she was going to react. Or even if she had the capability to talk about it anymore. It was different that first week after it, she would spill everything out in a rush of emotion. But then she ran out of it-- the emotion. There was none left.

SAPPHIRE GAVE A SMILE, ONE THAT WAS TINGED WITH SADNESS. That seemed to be in the air. And like many other things that were not explicitly described as such, it was infectious. Yes, the topic of her cat was a positive one, but the air would tell someone otherwise. "I gave her the name of Melanie." She thought of anything interesting she could have to say. "I seem to have an affinity for coming up with names containing darker origins since that name literally means black or dark." Her smile turned slightly sarcastic at that statement, showing her verbal intent through the expression.

She fell silent. "Time really is odd... It's such a confusing concept, isn't it? It's definite, yet it seems like something so variable. You never really feel as if an hour passes in the same span of time and the same can be said for any measure of time." She sighed. "Sorry, I went off on another tangent there." She wasn't sure, but Katrina didn't seem all that willing to converse. Maybe it wasn't that she didn't want to, but that she felt as if she couldn't. And at the same time, the pale-haired girl could be jumping to conclusions.

She sighed to herself, feeling the weight of her past and actions. "If you want, we don't really have to talk, but sometimes it's good to just have a familiar presence," she said. Perhaps not, though, since she probably wasn't all that familiar per se. She went back to silence, looking down at the book. She could listen and read at the same time, was the other girl to speak. She picked up where she'd left off, fingers rubbing against the paper and making a soft noise that sounded somewhere between crunching leaves after rain during fall and grinding. Softer, of course, but still reminiscent of the sounds. The texture was nice under her fingers, albeit a bit unfamiliar.

She noticed small things that were different. This copy had clearly been owned by someone before since there were small notes made in the margins. She had a hard time condoning damage to property such as this, but she was intrigued by them. They were actually quite useful and added a bit more personality to the stories. Although the stories arguably had enough personality in them already, that was against the point.

She half-kept her focus on Katrina, finding it necessary to watch out. It was a bit of a habit. She liked to make sure nothing bad happened to people subconsciously, even if she didn't always show it.

Melanie. A curious name. A pretty one. Katrina tried to smile, but stopped, afraid that she might grimace instead. To substitute Katrina nodded as happily as she could. (Which wasn't very) It was more approving or just... absentminded. The meaning of the name 'dark or black' was odd to hear since the cats name was so pretty. Then again, her name meant 'pure', however, whenever someone thought of her name, they tended to think of the destructive hurricane. Such an odd thing, names were.

Sapphire spoke about time, and Katrina felt herself leaning in to it. The words were so perfectly articulated. There was an undertone in Sapphire's voice that Katrina couldn't quite distinguish. Perhaps it was sympathy. Perhaps something Katrina just made up in her own head.

It was then that Katrina realized her mind had stilled. And this time it wasn't because she was smothering her thoughts, but because she was sharing a quiet moment with someone whilst not sobbing or recounting the night. She was able to put behind everything so she could experience this moment. Sapphire opened her book and began to read and Katrina found herself looking at her wand again. She probably didn't have the mental strength to actually read, but sitting in the silence was still comforting.

Sapphire offered the silence and Katrina greatfully accepted. Nothing had changed too much, Katrina was still on edge, listening for a noise between the shelves. She was still pushing back memories. But now, fear wasn't the top of her mind. A sense of peace was.